So, Lindsay Lohan is dating an investment banker who has two kids. Yeah, she's in a real adult relationship now. She takes responsibility for the two girls and even helps them take baths. So, tell me why I'm picturing Lindsay Lohan, cigarette hanging from her mouth, naked, in a bubble bath and at the other end of the tub are two shivering little girls? With Linds going, 'Yeah, these are what real women's titties look like. Unless you buy 'em, but, I didn't buy mine, that's why they're so saggy. You'll get some titties when yer old or Aunt Linds will buy you some good ones.'
'Oh, and honey, can you run and get me that little bag of white powder out of my purse? Mama needs a pick me up. It's medicine. Hic.' Then she takes a swig out of a bottle of vodka and flicks her cigarette ash into the bath water.
What? I can't be the only one who thinks this.
8 comments:
This is just another chapter of the nightmare that is Lindsey. Poor little kids.
this is awesome!
No sugar coating. No stupid 'bees&flowers' talk, but plain and honest truth. Best part?
Later in life they never ever will think of making out with another girl without barfing. Saved from lesbianism! Go Lindsay!
You forgot to mention the queef bubbles.
Who is stupid enough to allow La Lohan near their children? I just don't understand people. Does he live under a rock? Hopefully he has a nanny for them, or something similar, and it doesn't really amount to alone time. I hope. . .
Christina
I agree with everybody.
I wouldn't let her take care of any living thing. Not a plant, an animal, or a child.
Not that I personally dislike her. It's just a fact she's totally fucked up.
What is so funny to me, is, the fact that the girls are 16 & 18 years old! And this story is a made up PR scheme of hers. I have no way to verify either story. But, yours is too funny. I think she'd pass out in the bathroom, allowing them to either drown or fend for themselves, they get out and do her "make up" for her while she's "asleep", passed out on the floor. Kinda the kid she was in The Parent Trap. But 2 older teenage girls need her to bathe them? She might have liked that way too much. And eww...Can anybody verify? Thx.
Rox
I tried to help you Lindsay but you just wouldn't listen when I made fun of you.
Lindsay's publicist has released a statement expressing shock and dismay that Lindsay was not included in the celebrity nude photo hack.
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