Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Dear Stupid Bitch at the BBQ Stand..

Yes, your two little boys are cute and seemed like very nice children. What are they, about two? Yeah, I thought so. Adorable. But, you, mom? Not so much. The people waiting in line behind you were not amused that you thought letting two toddlers order their own food was a teaching moment. "Would you like a brat or a hot dog, Junior? (Pointing and repeating, very slowly) Brrrrrrrrat..........Hot Doooooog. Brrrrrrrat......Hot doooooog? Would you like TO-MA-TO on it? Would you like catsup on it? Would you care for yellow mustard or Dijon? YELLOW or DIIIIJON?  Tell the nice lady what you would like. Tell her. Go ahead. Tell the lady. Use your words, honey." (We hear a tiny voice say "WOT DOOOG!") Great. "Would you like to have water with it or would you like mommy to get you juice? WAAAATER (points) or JUUUUICE?" (Kid yells 'PWOP!") Mom says, "Nooo, Sweetheart, you may not have a soda, that is not good for your teeth. You may have WAAAATER or you may have a JUUUUUUICE. Which kind of JUUUUICE would you like? Orange juice, pineapple juice, grape juice..on and on." (Kid starts to cry. "PWOP!") We had at least 17 more choices to get through including the type of chip that came with the damn hot dog. I am not exaggerating and when it was FINALLY over and the order in...this crazy bitch turned to the other twin and started the whole process over again!!!

Everyone at that stand is sooo frickin' nice. They are just the best people there and they work their ass's off out in the hot sun over a grill with no shade. Does this mother really think these employees enjoyed her 'teaching moment'? FINALLY, she notices me, behind her, sweat dripping from my bangs and using a stray shopping cart to prop myself up. She smiles and says, "Oh, did I cut in front of you, I'm sorry. But, you know kids, they get so hungry!" I said, 'Yes, actually I was here first, but, your children are fine. You...not so much. We're not going to be talking about what a great mom you are when you leave. Nope. That's not what we'll be talking about.' Then I stepped up to give my order and ignored her. She looked like someone might have just handed her a large box with a clue in it. Good. I don't give a fuck. I am old and I do not have to be polite to anyone anymore unless they deserve it.

People with small children...do not do this to other people. Exspecially people who handle your food. (Or people who are in pain who just came from a physical therapy torture and are now having a sugar crash.) It is not cute. It is not precious. No one gives a shit if your kids know the difference between Romain or Iceburg. It is rude as hell and makes you look like a total idiot asshole. Next time..YOU step up, say, "We will have two hot dogs, with catsup, Sun Chips and two Mountain Dews." (Get real, bitch, I know you give it to them or he wouldn't be screaming for it. Juice will fuck up their teeth too. Doh.) You're welcome.

PS..you forgot to say please or thank you to the overworked and underpaid people who prepared your stupid gray poupon spread. Try teaching your kids those three words. Please and thank you go a hell of a lot farther than asking if their TO-MA-TOS are organic. What, are you Kate Gosselin now?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is awesome that you spoke up and then moved on up in line. What she was doing was inexcusable. Apparently she was not raised very well, and it is a shame that she is doing this with her children. They will be raised to be unaware of how their actions affect others, as well.
It drives me crazy when people waiting in line ahead of me get to where they can place their order, and then suddenly don't know what they want. It is as if it never occurred to them that someone would take their order. Are the choices really that difficult? Will it really affect the rest of their lives if they choose one drink, when maybe, they decide later that they might have enjoyed something else marginally more?
When I get up there in line, I am pretty darn sure of exactly what I want, and if I waver for a moment, it is a moment only. This is because I was raised to be considerate of others. I know if someone is behind me in line, and I try to get myself through quickly so as not to inconvenience others.
It is mind boggling to me that the mother you describe, cut in front of you (inexcusable, it doesn't matter if she has kids), and then took so much time with toddlers placing orders. I'm just sitting here, shaking my head. Someone was indulged too much, at some point.
Christina

Jane said...

As a teacher, I insisted on the use of please and thank you. Also yes/no ma'am and yes/no sir. Sometimes the kids would get a little huffy about it, but I usually won. I figured someone had to teach them manners.

Anonymous said...

I'm not so shy anymore either. I used to only snarl or say a couple of words, now I let 'em have it. Self indulgent me me me. I'm so sick of it. Here's a my FB, Instagram glorifying my every breastfeeding minute and bitching about everybody else. Pedos must have a field day.

I heard a rant on the radio a woman put on her 13 yr old girl for posting a pic of herself with a bra and lace panties on FB. God it was good. Over the top good, but she GD got her point across.

I'm thrilled with the twins making those orders while you struggle to stand up. Oh yeah. Hey twins, give up on choices now. There are too many of them in life. You'll find yourself confused as hell looking at 100 samples of tile or even at dental floss-waxed, unwaxed, litely waxed, thin, super thin….So twins, just grab the first thing you see and take off.

Dirty Disher said...

I am laughing so hard at you guys. We just do not have to suffer idiots in silence, ever again.

Angie said...

I work in the concession stand periodically during the summer and I would love to have someone step up and put these people in their place the way you did. Working in a hot little stand by yourself with no moving air, flies everywhere and two separate windows is bad enough when everyone is quick, considerate, and understanding, but get one of these jackasses and trust me, it's all that worker can do not to rip their throat out and shit down their necks.

karen from Il. said...

Thats why I love you and your blog. That is so me.

Dirty Disher said...

I am telling you, I felt so bad for those people working there, they are right out in the open parking lot. You know how hot that is, with not a lick of shade, jesuz cheeerist, the brainless, thoughtless, ignorant, fucking pigs who fuck with their day like that bitch did deserve way more than I gave her. She's lucky I don't cuss or fight in front of kids or I could have punched her in the cunt after calling her one.

Ronnie said...

I don't mind how she went over everything with her kids but why couldn't she do that before she was in the front of the line or even got into line?