There's a monster in the shower drain. Because this plumbing is so stupid. My kitchen sink and shower drain are hooked to the same waste pipe. So, when I wash dishes, the shower makes noise. All of the animals are totally convinced there's a monster in the shower drain and they spend copious amounts of time stalking it. Idiots. He managed to get some product bottles off the shelf today and opened them. He drained the shampoo and conditioner down to the drain monster. No use being mad, he's a Raccoon. I should have seen it coming. When he's quiet, I know there's trouble.
Me and George Cooney, Ba Ba Toons, baby talk. Squirming, he hates it when I make him stop playing. Look at his hand trying to pry my hand off him. He's a little pissed. Yet, he won't bite me, not for real anyway. You can see, he's not so small anymore. He's a load. I admit it, he's fat. Really tubby. He eats well. He eats solid food now and has preferences. In the morning he gets a big bowl of oatmeal with sweet milk, then, Purina Kitten Chow and chocolate chip cookies. The ones with MnMs in them. I buy them and hide them for him to find and steal. Hey, I'm easily entertained, okay? He's a cheap date. Wanna hear something weird? I was looking at this pic and I do not know what that is behind me. I have nothing like that in my house. That round lacy thing. What the fuck is that??
When you or an animal, bare your throat or belly to the other, you are telling them that you trust them. They do the same. It means you're close, you trust and love. I keep Tooney very close, all the time. Yes, it is exhausting, but, I trust him. I know he won't hurt me. I have few visitors, but, the ones I have are cautious with him. As they well should be. I am the only Human he trusts. He's an adolescent now. He spooks easily with strangers. He considers Lissa a litter mate. He loves her. She hates him. So, he tortures her. He attacks her bare feet and she kicks him in the head for real and screams at him. He thinks she's playing and runs under the sofa to plan his next attack. I swear he's laughing when he does this crap. I love it. She really hates him. Awww. It's sad when you love somebody and they don't love you back. I guilt her. It cracks me up. Because he never really hurts her, she's just pissy and on her damn phone ALL the time. He wants her attention, but, can't get shit. Neither can I. She's gone deaf since she got that new phone. They're both teeny bopper demons.
He finally has his adult claws which is awesome. Baby claws are so sharp they accidentally scratch you constantly and you can't trim them. The veins go all the way. When they grow into the big, strong adult claws, they no longer scratch you. Imagine leaning against a fork. That's what it feels like. They won't use them on you unless it's deliberate. The claws are so strong they can dig dens or crumble bricks. I've seen them do things that are really amazing. But, anyhow, it's better now. No more Coon scratches. There is something missing in that picture. Can you see what he lacks? Uhh huuu.
I look forward to the day I can release him, and I dread it too. That will be a tough one for both of us. But, he is learning. I take him out every night now. He has learned to forage and he can find food. Lots of it too. I have been surprised at how fast he catches on. Berries, Mullberries, crab apples, wild plumbs, digging worms and grubs, catching crickets (grosses me out so much, yet I have to pretend it's awesome), pulling bark off trees looking for insects. He is really getting ready to go. Next, an outing to the river. No leash.
Oh, I only keep that collar on just in case he ever strays too far and encounters another human. They would see the collar and know he's Human raised and not some rabid Coon coming their way. I don't think that will ever happen, he stays so close to me, but, just in case. I keep a leash on him, but, I don't hold it. It's only to stop him going too far up trees. I hate waiting for him to come down. He's an asshole that way and will tease me and make me stand there or sit there and wait for him. I hate that! He found the collar somewhere and came out holding it proudly. It was one Indie lost about a year ago. He finds the damndest things. The other day he came into the kitchen carrying two dollars. I took them and told him to go find some more. I have no idea where he got it and neither does Lis. Maybe the dirty laundry? Who fucking knows.
8 comments:
Lmao at the 2 dollars! When do you expect to release him? Do you think he'll come back for visits?
Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask- will he go far when you release him, or stick close? He's so sweet, who knew coons were such little bundles of love.
He sure grew up fast- it wasn't that long ago you thought he had no eyes or if he'd survive. Look at him now, so confident and smart!
I'm actually so relieved he is foraging, and on his own eating the right things, even digging bark. How long do you think he will be with you now? And I wonder if he will come back to see you often, or ever. What is their social structure anyhow? Will he have a hard time being accepted? Not that I have any question….
Oh the thing behind you in the picture looks like a face to me.
I think rightfully, in the wild, he would be with his mother for 6 weeks to two more months. I have all of this month and most of September with him. By then his testes should drop and he won't cuddle me as much. He will play attack me more, he will get seriously rough (not mean) and there will be blood sport. I look forward to that. He will start to withdraw from me and act spooky towards me at times. That's when you leave them alone. The day he gets right in my face and roars, I will pee a little, then slap him in the head, hard. That's my signal that he's ready to go. I plan to find a location away from people with a good water source, not too far and leave him there with a bowl of cat food. I will come back the next morning and call him in. I make take him back home. This will go on until he no longer comes when I call.
Border, neither Lis or I can figure out what that thing is! I don't see the face though. I have to blow it up.
Border, their social structure is family oriented, though as adults they are generally loners. They do recognize their own and greet with mock fights and then go their separate ways. He may find a small band of new young males and join it. They do that for safety against the older males sometimes, but, mostly they stay alone. He will always recognize me though. He probably won't be pettable, but, he would greet me happily, snorting and growling and rolling in the dirt, if I run into him, say, two years from now. September is a great month for food supply and finding a Winter den. He will also learn to hibernate for periods during big snows, so the fatter he is, the better off he'll be. He's a fat toad right now.
When you see larger groups of them in town, they are likely related and have learned to be peaceful and tolerant for a shared food source. (Like my porch of cat food.) But, sadly, Toony can not stay here. He would eventually go to people for food. That can not happen. He would be way to familiar, going right up to them if he was hungry. That's dangerous. My yard coons are not pets. I do not touch them.
Do you have any advice for me on handling the pair of huge coons that ramble around my city yard? I'm worried that when I go away for a couple of months that they might try to get in through the roof - it's a really old shake roof which I can't replace for now, and coons have gotten through it before.
I have no problem with them as long as they stay outside. I'm not sure where they sleep/nest. I did dump some bamboo leaves off the side of the shed roof one afternoon in June and then heard a terrific noise of disturbed critters underneath,so I think they nest between that shed and the fence, where there is a few feet of dryish bamboo leaves accumulated. (I can't get in there and really don't want to upset any critters that don't upset me- I like having them around.)
But as you said, their adult claws are tough.
I hope they'll be warm enough in the leaf nest and not try to get into the house. I need to be gone for two months- Oct-Dec. when it gets cold and usually very very wet here.
Any ideas on how to provide something that might keep them happy where they are? I guess I've have to keep a little heat on in the house, though we mainly heat by woodstove, so it wouldn't be very warm with the baseboard heater.
Oh I laughed about him staying in the tree too long. Bet he loves it so much up there.
Stupid question- do they lap up soft food like oatmeal or try to handle it or use their paws?
To me this stuff isn't gross. Especially when you can shower it right off
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