Crazy, weird thrift store finds

I'm posting THIS because I think you guys like stuff like this as much as I do. Some of them are really crazy, like this crazy cat lady doll complete with cats, but, some of them aren't crazy at all to me. Like fuzzy furry bathroom scale. I remember when everybody had one of those. The poster must be young. Anyway, enjoy..and tell me what you'd like to have from that list.

Lissa and I hit yard sales yesterday. There weren't a lot, but, I got some cool junk to make yard ornaments out of for 25 cents each. Lissa found a Hannah Montana products table, but, she's kind of over her, so all she got was a wallet and key chain. (She actually asked the lady if she had any Kesha, ha.) We found a cool looking old leather card table with a checkerboard painted on it for a buck. And I got an ancient genuine horse hair chair. For two bucks! It's ugly cool, in bad, but, passable shape, but, so heavy it's still in the car. I'll show it to you when I muster enough muscle to get it out. (And figure out if there are critters living in it.) Oh, and I got a pale pink Polo Sports bag, the lady proudly pointed out the label. It meant nothing to me, but, it's a good bag for Summer and it was a quarter. Brand new. My hobo bag had ironically broken it's strap at this yard sale. Good timing.

Kidnapped Nigerian girls, and Hollywood

Do this, don't do that, can't you read...the signs. Mass kidnappings of Nigerian school girls is the confusing news of the month for me. I read every little stupid article in the news and I still don't understand it all. Do you? More than 200 school girls were kidnapped to be sold into forced marriage, breeding programs and sexual slavery and the thought of it is more than most of us can take. But, this is Nigeria, what the fuck are we supposed to do about it? Realistically. The Nigerian president is asking the world for help. The US is a world power? Please. Not any more. We're a broke ass joke now. Can this lead to more war? How big a war? Can we afford it?..oh, hell no. Even my dumb ass knows that. Aren't we kind of busy fucking with Russia, North Korea and Iran/Iraq bullshit to name a few?  Can we wade into another religiously motivated 'morals' war? The kidnappers are Islamic militant terrorists. Umm, don't we have experience with those types. Uhh, yeah. 9/11 anyone?

Now we have douche bag stars like Anne Hathaway with a bullhorn, yelling 'Bring our girls back!" 'Our' girls? And I'm betting you don't understand this whole thing any better than I do. Maybe you do. But, the reporting is nothing but sensational and as factual as a popcorn fart. I find out more in comments than I ever will in the news. But, with every informed comment, you have to go dig for facts and sort it all out. I haven't had time. Have you? No? So, fuck Anne Hathaway. I don't need her big mouth in my face with her signs. What good does that do? Who does she think she is, anyhow?

Celebs with signs, HERE. Even Angelina makes it sound like a man vs. woman war. What? The US said it will help, what more do these celebs want? Do they think they run this country by themselves? Are their heads that big? Sometimes I think the US should put it's tail between it's spindly legs and slink off like the starved dog it is. Let me know when Anne Hathaway becomes our next President. Oh, but, she has a sign! That will do it. Oh, and also in the crowd with Anne was a popular film maker. Really? How convenient.

Maybe I'm just cynical, tired and uninformed. Yep, that's probably it. I'm also not a celebrity. AKA, The Enlightened. Constantly bringing 'awareness' to shit that's already in our faces.

John Mayer talking to Aniston again?

source
Mayer supposedly has a therapist who's advising him to reach out to those he hurt in the past, so he allegedly reached out to Jen. Which is pissing Justin Theroux off. People are dismissing this rumor, but, I believe it. I believe John would reach out to Jen without a therapist, because since her, he's been on a roll of stupid women. John said he truly loved Jen, he was in love with her, according to him. Unfortunately when he admitted that, he also said Jessica Simpson was his 'sexual napalm'. Poor simple Jessica was mad, but, she's not bright enough to know why she should have been mad. But, Aniston is.

So, yeah, I think Mayer would try to talk to her and she'd go for it. She harbors a need to fix the past when it makes her look bad. Fuck what Justin Theroux thinks about the whole thing. He's an ass clown and no one is buying that relationship. The damage John did to Jen's ego in the press, is not forgotten. Hell, it's been seven years and she's still yapping about Brad and his lack of a compassion gene or whatever the hell that was. And how Angie's not cool for saying she and Brad fell in love during Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which the whole world knew anyhow. So, yeah, she's talking to Mayer and will probably break up with ass clown so she can bed Mayer while 'on a break'. She has to show him who the real sexual napalm is.

I'm betting it will happen and I hope they leave a good tip for whoever has to clean up that hotel room. Sexual napalm is destructive, loud and messy. Revenge napalm is even worse.

Why do Finnish babies sleep in cardboard boxes?

When Americans think of newborn's first home sleep, this is what they usually picture. A plain wicker bed that's portable and sits on a base, so mom doesn't have to bend with her sore birth area. It also makes it level with the parents bed at night, which is handy. All my assorted kids had one just like this and I'd dress it up with ruffles or ribbons in the right colors. A foam pad covered in pee proof plastic is the mattress. I never had a new one and never will, because only newborns can sleep in this. Once they hit three months (tops), they become mobile and it's no longer safe. So, bassinets never get worn out. You can get them for $5 bucks here.

So, why in hell is Yahoo news asking about Finnish babes in cardboard boxes? And showing an image of a six month old sitting up and clutching the side of a plain brown grocery type box? Because they are foul, lying headline seekers with moronic commenters who can't read. If these outraged morons could read, they could google and find out Finland has a tradition of sending an adorable, child safe box full of gender neutral infant items to any citizen expecting a baby. The only requirement is a prenatal doctor's visit, which everyone should have anyway. It encourages people to have preg checks, which is a good thing. The Finn box of goodies is too cute and a tradition their people look foreword to. Realistically, all you need for the first six weeks or so, is in that box. Just add food.

The cute box comes decorated in gender neutral, it's sturdy. You can pop the top onto the bottom for extra support and it has handles for carrying or sitting on a table.

I has a little foam mattress for the bottom, it comes with liners and sheets and even..

Baby's first sleeping bag! Aww, that's so cute.

Inside the box contains a carefully thought out arsenal of basics for baby. Everything from sleepers to bibs, t-shirts,hats, and receiving blankets, thicker blankets for cold nights, jumpers, socks, pacifiers, and even baby's first snow suit. There are even infant toys.

It even has grooming items, and simple medical items, something we usually forget until we need it. And some butt cream, of course.

I think it's an awesome tradition and sure would be peace of mind for first time parents. Most people have no clue what they'll really need and end up with 40 fancy outfits in 6 month size that won't fit. No one can estimate or believe how tiny a newborn is unless they have experience. You end up with nothing to actually put on your kid. And how are you to know they puke up or blow out at least 6 onesies and baby T's a day??  I wish America did this, it would be so cool and every baby would start out with what it really needs to be safe and comfy. Maybe someone here needs to start this tradition, some group. Probably not our government though, can you imagine the red tape ridiculousness? They'd fuck it up so bad, our newborns would be naked and cold, but, own a common core math book and donation tickets to the next election.

So, anyway, fuck yahoo news. Finland does not throw their babies in old dirty grocery boxes. You piece of reporting shit.

Their babies do sleep soundly in the adorable boxes though. It's a helluva lot better than the American alternative to the simple bassinet. HERE's some ideas. Good grief, you can spend $1,000's just to put your kid in something they grow out of in usually 8 weeks. Whatever happened to the old Depression era baby in a drawer lined with blankets?

He's fine. He can't move yet, so where's he going? Or you can copy Beyonce and Jay-Z and spend $ 100,000 for a Lucite drawer. With Swarovski crystals. And you know, Kimye's kid, North, had real diamonds on her Lucite drawer. You don't pry the jewels off when she outgrows it either. That's too low class. You just throw it out on the curb and buy the Queen of England's big girl bed, then take it to DeBeers to have her name put on it in blood diamonds. That's how today's parents roll.

Moving flowers...sloooowly

Here's my day. I'm relocating the Black Eyed Susans. They're pretty, but, they just spread like wildfire and they're just too big near the house. So, I'm moving them to the back fence where they can take over. It's raining today, so that's perfect for moving plants. If anyone in town here wants some, come on over. I was planning on moving three loads today, but, I was delusional. One will have to do. It's hard for me to get it into my head that I can no longer work like a horse. I love working. But, I don't want to hurt myself. This is heavy work. I do take lots of breaks.

This is my constant companion. Old Hap. He must be ancient. He was dumped here when Casey J was still a little girl. He's got to be over 20. He used to be magnificent, the king of Guntown, now he's so old, his jaw is dislocated, he has battle scars, his spine sticks out, his eyes are all filled with yellow gunk I wipe out..but, he's a happy old soul. Today it hit me that he won't be around much longer because I had to put him inside so I could work, and it took him forever to get to the door. Since my Aunt Ruth died, he has attached himself to me. Weird, but, fine with me, he's a nice old guy. It will be kind of sucky when he's gone..I was just thinking that today while watching him.


You like my yard sale crocs? Hey, they're ugly as fuck, but, the best garden shoes I've ever had. I can dig, mow, haul, anything in them. I love them. It's rare to find anything in my small size. I wonder if they're kid's crocs? Oh, well, at least I'm not wearing Mary Kate and Ashley shoes this week. Geez.

The Elle interview with Angie

HERE is the interview, it's pretty good short reading. I don't expect her to drop any real secrets, the woman is pretty gaurded, but, she talks about Brad and putting their kids in Malificent. It's a little interesting. As for photo-shopping, really, how much would they do? She's skinny as a rail in real life and she has that face. She's Angelina Jolie, for cripesake, they'd be fools to tinker with her image much. I doubt they did.

I'm not a Bangeloonie or whatever you call it, but, I like Brad and Angie and every time there's something on them, I stop and read it. Every time she makes a movie, she's forced to go talk to the press. But, we never get any hot secrets. Probably never will. Everything she says is like it's straight from a script. Only once in a rare while, she accidentally says something she probably shouldn't. I wait for those times like a vulture. I can keep waiting, Angie.

Cooper, the hero mutt

I love THIS story. A toddler vanished, but, for once, there's a happy ending. Three year old Carson Urness decided to take a walk while his mother was inside taking care of the baby. He's not supposed the leave the yard, but, he'd seen his dad leave on the tractor while watching out the window earlier. They think he tried to follow his dad. He vanished at 7:30 pm, Monday, which is the last time of day the light is nice for kids, right? You give them that last, half hour or so around that time. I do anyway. Here's the scary part, the family lives on a 10 acre property in North Dakota. OMG, that's a lot of land. I looked at the background there and it looks like Iowa/Mo. where I live. Fields, tree lines, repeat for miles. The tree lines are deceptive. They look smallish, but, they hold vast crevices, old wells, creeks with deep holes, wild animals, including large predators. Even the fields can be dangerous at night. That's where predators hunt!

Look at that background. Oh, geez, even the sight of those silos fills me with terror. So many kid have been lost in silos because no one thinks to look there.


They called 911 at 8:30 and a big search was launched. Searchers found the boy at 2:30 am, just when the search was being called off. It was the dog who raised his head from tall grass allowing them to spot the pair. If Cooper hadn't heard the searchers and flashed them his head, the boy would not have been spotted at night in this remote area. Little Carson wasn't even cold because his buddy Cooper, had laid down on top of him keeping him warm. This isn't even one of those stories where the animal hero could be mistaken for luck. Nope. Cooper is a mutt that was found dumped by the side of the road. He was taken in by this family and he became the family dog. He appreciates his home and he never leaves the yard. This one time..he did. He followed Carson. He must have known that kid was up to no good and needed supervision. There is no other way to interpret his behavior. Rescuers actually found the dog laying across the child, warming and protecting him. He only gave up his charge, when he knew the boy was safe.

That dog is a true hero and I'll bet that family is so glad they took in an unwanted mutt. Their kindness has now been repaid times a million. Kinna brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?

Father arrested at school board meeting for violating the two minute rule

HERE..(but do not click the videos there)..New Hampshire dad, William Baer, was arrested when he protested a book assigned to his 9th grade daughter at school. The book contained passages that were straight up romantic porn. You can read it HERE. I read it and while I think teens get worse that that in movies etc, I do not think it's appropriate for any school reading assignments. It's straight up romantical-porn, that stuff the horny old ladies buy at the shop where I work. Yuk.

He had every right to be upset about it and voice his opinion, but, the school board didn't want to deal with him so they had him arrested for violating the two minute speaking rule. Do not click the vids at that first link..watch the arrest HERE. It's such bullshit on the school board's part.

I think he's part of some christian group and I'm not into that, but, that's not the point anyway. These school boards think they can do anything they want. I've had some bad experiences with them here too. They kind of run the world through our children and it pisses me off too. Like, the goal is to raise little armies of 'like minded'. Plus that passage in the assigned book was just lewd and who in the world would think that's good reading for a high school kid? They can find that shit and fap on their own time.

Mr. Baer had some interesting things to say about his school board...
"Many people in education and government truly believe our children are theirs,” William Baer told EAG News. “That parents are only the custodians who feed them and put a roof over their head. These school incidents are a byproduct of this ‘we know best’ philosophy. They believe they have the authority to do this. If people were more complacent, which is hard to imagine, it’d be even worse."

I don't want to be complacent, but, I also don't want to be arrested.

WTF? Weird Bee in the yard

I spotted this weird bee in the yard just now. I watched him guarding and fanning...something. He was intent on whatever he was guarding, chasing any insect who got close and then returning to fan. WTF? That is one of the weirdest bees I have ever seen. Looks like a Bumble Bee, but, bigger and has a blue metallic butt. What? I know, I was like WTF too.

He was fanning and guarding another bigger bee on the ground. I got it in the first two pics. It seemed to be having trouble, it looked tired. I know that sounds weird, but, it did. I gave them some water which he did buzz over and dip his feet in. He seemed to like it. You can only see the blur of his wings, but, they were long, large and transparent. His 'face' is adorable. They were not aggressive towards me. I don't have zoom..I was that close. Finally, he got his fat buddy off the ground and they went to the backyard. I left them alone. I'm gonna go see if I can find out what the hell these are.

 

Oh! Carpenter Bees! They live in dens they make by drilling perfect holes in wood. Wow. They do pollinate. They're good bees.

What is feminisim? What is a feminist?

I guess a lot of these little dip shit starlets and some actual dip shit stars talk some real smack when asked about their 'feminisim' or if they're a feminist. It's embarrassing how stupid they sound. HERE is one article that pretty much sums it up.

I wondered what I'd say if someone asked me what a feminist is? I'd say, it's the belief, that women are equal to men and must be treated and recognized as equal, legally, hopefully, someday, everywhere in the world. It's a demand to be treated as an equal. Equality.. something we fight for and will continue to fight for. Men and women are equal, period.

So, then I go look it up and HERE is one definition of feminism. HERE is another. Bla bla, they go on and on. With movements covered and feminist heroines. Basically, when you cut through all the shit, I think I was right. We are equal, treat us as so, we will fight until you do. What else is there to say? It's not a difficult concept.

What if someone asked me, 'are you a feminist'? Ohhhhhh, here's where I have a problem. If feminism is the belief that men and woman are equal, I'd have to say no. I think women are superior. All men have over us, is that, in general, they are stronger physically. In the endurance department, in the pain tolerance department and the general procreation of our species..men lose. Big time. All we need from them to keep our species going is a little sperm. We can freeze that. A planet of women with some frozen sperm could go on until the sun burns out. A planet of all men with frozen eggs? LMAO! Good luck with that. I hope science advances quicker than the species dies out. They need us, we don't need them. This is not a man hating post. Personally, I like them. I think we should keep some of them. But, women are far superior. So, I aint a feminist. What would I be? I'll have to look that up. I'd sure look it up before I went on a national talk show and sounded like a retard. A retard who eats clay. How would you answer, honestly?

Met Gala fashions

Stella McCartney designed almost everything this year. I don't give two shits, but, this mess is everywhere today. HERE is just one link with huge pics. Stella looks like her kids draped an old fabric sample over her jeans. The rest of them look quite stupid, even Rihanna. That thing has weird shoulder pads and the top looks too small. I don't know who decided Paul McCartney's daughter was a real designer, but, I think she sucks balls. I have never seen one single thing of her's that wasn't bla or eww. By the way, has anyone heard of a thing called a hem? Fashion 101. Why trip on your dress and bust your ass? A hem. That is all.

So, you can tell me if you think anyone there looked good. I thought they all looked goofy and really, really cheap. It looked like K-Mart on parade. When Kanye and Kim are the best dressed at an event, it's time to stop. Coco Chanel would turn over in her grave.

Go to Celebitchy for pics of all of it. Maybe you're like me and you're just over it, but, it's in your face. Johnny Depp and Amber looked boring. They played it too safe. Personally, I thought Anna Wintour looked alright.

I know people love to make fun of her, but, they also grovel at her feet. She has great hair. Yeah, the dress is weird, but, at least the material is expensive. I can see that from here. You can click it, I put it on big. If you're going to wear a fucking curtain, at least get a handmade, one of a kind curtain. Someone tell that dumb Stella. Okay, that's all. I know jack shit about fashion, but, I know no one there is really 'well dressed' this time. It was weird.

A Coco Chanel quote. It seemed right.

Surprise, your email box is fucked!

Okay, it was my own fault. I know better, but, I had a moment of late night spontaneous bad judgement. Here's the deal. I am a freak for those make up and scent samples you can get in the mail. I know people who have generously shared with me from their 'surprise' boxes and even full sized products. You have no idea how much it thrills me. I lead a boring life, I am not even much of a make-up wearer, except for my Dior Fireworks red lipstick, which I got unused at a yard sale.

I bought it just for the name and case. It's very cool in real life and it has a nice feel. But, I put it on. OMG, it looks bright red, like nothing I'd really wear, but, it's a lip stain thingy and it's awesome and not gaudy at all. I wear it nearly everyday. I'll be sad when it's gone, because I looked it up and there is no way I am ever paying $40 bucks for a lipstick. It made me laugh actually. I paid a dollar for it. I seriously love it though.

So back to the email..I get distracted. Sorry. Anyhow, I LOVE my bargain and sample cosmetics. I love them like people love Christmas. My heart actually skips a beat when I open samples or see them on a sale table. They're kind of a rare find here though. I really do live in the sticks. Soooo, one night when I was link skipping out of boredom, I came across this company that will, for a set price, send you a box of random crap quarterly. It wasn't Birch Box, it was something else..I can't remember now. I thought, I am getting that. I can't really afford it, but, I'll do without something else. I'll just get it. I never buy things for myself and I think you should sometimes. You know? No one likes martyrs. They aren't happy people. Fuck that shit, I'm getting it! You've all had that happen. I know you have.

So, I signed up for the box and gave them my info..and they fucked me. Two days later my email box was flooded with offers on discount cosmetics, designer scents, random boxes and contests and a HUGE assortment of dating sites, college loans, mortgage companies, erection medication..you name it. I'm getting it. I didn't even get the original box. I never got that far in the 'click this link' game. I only got far enough to get fucked on Yahoo mail. I have literally ruined my email. I can't keep sorting through the spam. At this point, I get hundreds and hundreds a day. I can't even keep sending the addys to spam because the same shitty companies have a million people with different addys working for them. It takes me forever to delete the spam box, even when I click the whole page at once. I can't even deal with my inbox anymore. I got over a thousand spams today..in my IN-box. I am not shitting you. Over a thousand. I didn't even know it would hold that much. I can't even find you guys in it.  I did find you Jane, I responded. Mary Mary, I found yours, loved it. I'll get back to you soon. Casey J, I found yours, couldn't get the pics..again. I hate Yahoo. I hope the spammers burn in hell. Who would actually do that for a living. Anyway, there's my bitching for the day. My email is ruined and I made an MSN account, I may have to change the addy on here and just leave Yahoo to rot. It's my own fault. I know better than to give my info without some research, but, I had a weak moment. Oh, and I did get a perfume sample in the mail..one. One fucking sample and it wasn't even one of those cute teeny bottles. It was a scratch and sniff. Jesus keerist on a crutch. What's am I supposed to do with that? It wasn't even a nice smell you could, like, stick in your underwear drawer. It was pewey. It smelled like a cat peed on the card. I'm laughing now, because it's sort of stupid funny. Here's some random stuff people have shared with me, that I LOVE.

Beth send me this little tub of Midnight Monarch. Holy moly, we loved it. It smelled like Nirvana (not the band) and the cream was unreal. We used it sparingly, but, it's gone now. I saved the cute container and I went to the website. I will be getting some more. If you haven't tried it, ohhhhh, do, if you get the chance. Lissa and I sit around the computer at night and watch videos or movies and we 'scent' ourselves. We love to get all dolled up while we watch..whatever we find. And it's all about scents. This one was our favorite, so far. Thanks, Beth...oh, also I LOVED the vegan mascara. It smells like berries and it never clumps. I love that stuff.

Mary Mary sent me Jafra Royal Jelly fancy face cream. She sent me a good size too. Holy wow, thank you, Mary. I can't tell you how thrilled I was with this. It's a GOOD product and I use it sparingly. I use it mostly around my eyes. Royal Jelly? Is it made by bees with tiny little honey bee hands? That's what I imagine. Like the wee bees made it just for me and their Queen approved it. It's freekin' awesome, is what it is.

So, those things made me very happy, thank you. And if you're just reading here for whatever reason..do not send me anything! I am not asking for things, do not want things. I just love when people do share and I try to share back, but, my sendings are random weirdness. So, I don't know if I'm a good sender. Sometimes I can't even think of anything worth sending and a thank you has to do. Then it never leaves my mind and I get neuritic about it. So, do not send me thangs..okay? But, do if you want to and I will try to also. Does that make sense? I hate posting about who's sending what. I always like to thank people on here, but, I've (until now) stopped doing it, because some people get the wrong idea. You know? Really..I want to know if you know what I mean. It's hard to explain.

Also, if you've had experience with surprise beauty boxes, I'd like to hear about it. Are there good ones who won't sell your info and spam you to death? What do they cost, who are they?

Big Bang Theory quiz

The big 'thing' this week for the cool kids, of which I am not one, is the Big Bang Theory quiz which tells you which character of the Big Bang you're most like. Lissa had me take it. I came up as Sheldon, of course. She's always Penny. All her friends are Penny too. I thought the results were probably because some of the questions on the test were more for adults. But, I keep looking up the stupid quizzes, (there are tons of them on just The Big Bang) and I'm always freekin' Sheldon. No one likes him. He's just annoying. Everyone likes Penny, she's adorable.

I don't even know why this bothers me, it's totally stupid. I love Star Trek and I grew up on Marvel comics. I know some science shit, so what? Questions about relationships and obsessive love puzzle me. All that shit doesn't make me an annoying nerd. Or maybe it does. You guys take it.

HERE is one quiz. HERE is a second one, so you can confirm to yourself which imaginary person you're most like. See if the results kind of piss you off. I'm Interested to know what you get. I tried to take some of them again and rig it to be Penny, but, I simply can not make myself lie and say that speaking Klingon doesn't count as a second language skill. Of course, it does! That's just stupid. I need a cup of Ractigino before I get mad again. tlhIngan maH!

Reality celebrity pregnancy

Kendra Wilkinson's second pregnancy. HOW IS THIS WOMAN STILL PREGNANT? How? I usually pay no attention to celeb pregnancies, but, fer the love of all energy, what in hell is going on here? How long has she been pregnant? How big can someone get? Is it twins? Triplets? You can almost see the kid lounging in there now. It's like I'm waiting for an explosion now. WTF? I guess it will all be explained on tv, as usual. Not that I'm complaining, I enjoy Kendra. But, good grief! How is she even walking at this point?

The Byron Smith murder/self defense case

I've been following this case for awhile and Byron Smith was convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to life without parole. His lawyer will appeal. You have to read about the case to get why it's so interesting. HERE is one article.


He set up the burglars who had invaded his home before. Now, I get that. I've done it myself. It's the only way to find out for sure who's doing it. You'd be smart to arm yourself too. When I was alone in an isolated area, you wouldn't believe the shit people pulled on me. So, yeah, I get what he tried to do. But, then this guy flat out murdered them. Two unarmed teenage kids. They broke into his house and he shot them, but, he meant to kill them. The killing of the girl was so gruesome. I mean, this dude looked into her eyes and told her she was dying. He claims he gave her a 'finishing shot' to end her suffering. OMG, like she was a deer or something. The audio has been released. HERE. Yeah, this lunatic actually recorded himself killing two kids and him and his slick lawyer call this self defense. I was so disturbed by the recording, I can't even tell you. I think he planned to murder them the whole time. He's insane. But, did they drive him to insanity? It makes me wonder how many more are out there just like him. All teens who think home invasion is cool should be forced to listen to this recording. I am left also wondering how you come to decide when you've taken enough shit and someone will die? I don't know. I just don't know. It's heavy shit, isn't it? Geez.

How to tame a wild or feral animal

This bad ass tom cat showed up exactly at the same time bad ass neighbor moved in. Suspicious, no? Whatever, he's just an animal that needs help. But, something about this dude pisses everyone off. My mom even hates him. I have never ever seen her be mean to an animal in my life...yeah, she's mean as hell to me, but, not animals. But, she despises this cat. She says he sprays and picks fights and can't be tamed. Sounded like a challenge to me.

You know how to tame a wild animal? You ignore them. Oh, I used to work so hard at it when I was young, and I always got it done, but, it took so much time and effort. If only I had known the secrets you figure out with age. I just ignore the fuck out of them. But, you let them hear your voice. Like, you just go out in the yard and do what you need to do, go about your business, but, talk in their general direction. Like, 'Hey, looks like rain? You like rain? Me too.' You might get some strange looks and feel stupid, but, the animal is listening to see if you're a threat. You do that for a few days and start letting it see you leave a little food out. Don't push. Don't call it. Don't try and get close. The animal will figure it out. He did, see? He's quite tame now. He is almost tame enough to get into a carry case to go for his first vet visit. No need to traumatize him more than he already is.

He answers to the name 'Key' now, short for kitty and it stuck. He is the nicest boy and my mother is deluded in thinking he picks the fights with her fat, fugly, spoiled cats. He is so mellow. He puts up with more shit from them than I ever would. I'm out there all the time, so I see what they do. She doesn't and she thinks they're perfect. Puuuurrr-fect. Okay, that was lame. Anyway, I laid down the law with her. She will not send religious items to my house again and she will stop being mean and yelling at this poor old cat. He needs medical treatment. He has open wounds, a skin..thing, ear mites and he needs neutering. Then I can find him a real home, or he can hang here. What the fuck is one more cat around here anyway? I don't know what her problem is.

Lissa plays him "Stray Cat Strut" on her phone and he climbs in her lap to listen. What can I say? I always root for the underdog.



If you don't like this, you are not living right. I get my dinner from a garbage can, yeah!

Stuff at our house this week

The Crabapple trees are in full bloom this week. OMG, click that pic. There are two of them, they cover the whole front of the old ladies fug house and make the entire neighborhood smell delicious.

Up close the blossoms are gorgeous and you can shake branches and make it rain petals. Fun. And then your hands smell really nice.

There's Lis under the trees on her bike. Her new bike her dad just got her for no reason, other than to spoil her. She loves it because it's a boy's bike, but, has pink on it. Boy's stuff is cool, I guess. I don't know shit because I'm old.

Portraits. She didn't want these on here, because "I'm not wearing black and I don't have any make up on!" I told her she is 9 and shouldn't even wear make up. So, she said I could put them on if I told you she had a hard weekend 'partying'. So, there you go. She had a hard weekend 'partying'. Slumber partying that is. She needs her glasses back. Now that I have her 'officially' for awhile, I can get that done. Before, I had no authority. Long story..not gonna bitch here. She looks so much like Eric at that age.

She reminded me that I've always said when she gets two numbers in her age, she can play in the street with the other hooligans. Well, that happens next month. Time flies. But, as you can see, we have none of them fancy sidewalk things in Guntown, so all the kids play ball and ride in the street. It's well known and most people are aware of it. It still worries me, but, I promised. It's a right of passage in Guntown.


 If you click that pic, you can see that house on the corner. This might be long, but, I'm tellin' it anyways. That awful house. It's called Hell's Corner here in Guntown. For good reason. It's cursed. I used to own it. My son actually owned it, never lived in it, but, when the relatives stole my house, he gave me that thing. I appreciated it at the time, it was emergency housing. I lived there for awhile and it was so bad, I gave it back to him. We didn't think it was fixable. He sold it for like, $1,500 cash and he was lucky to get that. It should have been torn down. All kinds of idiots of ill repute have worsened it since then. Now, this bad ass dude has moved in and is working on it. He has this huge sign erected in the front (must get a pic of that) and it says "The Godfather Of Guntown" on it with crossed guns. It's funny as shit. He also has Pit Bulls and one of them is a known biter. My mom is livid. So, I went up to check them out. I had an excuse because his kid needed permission to go with my grandkid to the pool. That kid is another story..but, anyway, I checked out him and his bad ass dogs. The dogs are clearly territorial, which means leave them alone in their yard. If they get loose, they'd pose no threat. I get dogs like that, I get what's in their heads. So, the dogs are cool. The poor guy that got bit, got half his face taken off because he accidentally walked into their chain space to read a meter. You don't do that with a Pit, (or any other chained dog), they're funny that way. The owner has a warning sign up. The victim knew he was at fault, he's a dog lover, and didn't press charges. Very cool guy. But, the incident didn't endear the neighbors to the new dogs. And for now, Lis is not allowed to go over there without me.


 Anyhow, so bad ass dude, the Godfather, rolls with chainsaws and burning giant piles of crap all day long while blasting heavy metal. The cops have been called several times. Which cracks me up. All the neighbors are obnoxious anyway, this guy just has a head banger's taste and they hate it. My solution is to go out and yell over the din.."Hey, got any Danzig?" He's, like, throwing me that universal devil sign and "Hell yeah!!" Cool. How about Nirvana? Hell, yeah! You can't go wrong with Cobain. Or some Beck. Nice. We get along fine. I like to work in the yard at night and he's at the local tavern then. As Guntown neighbors go, he's not a bad one at all. The cop visits alone are entertaining. I love his kid, his rotten bad ass kid. That kid is always at our house. I'll get some pics. He's Lissa's BFF and he's a ginger too. Cute as hell. But, bad ass. So, bad ass. Chuckles.

Boo Boo Lives!!!

source
I've been following this story about a bear cub who bit 18 university students, but, I wouldn't post it because I was so mad about it..and depressed. The bear was brought in to help students relax before exams, but, being a fucking bear, it bit and scratched people. I mean, who knew bears bit people? Doh. And what the fuck is relaxing about petting bears? Every time I pet bears I get adrenaline rushes, but, that's just weird old me. WTF? Anyway 'officials' (bird brains) announced the bear had to die because it could be rabid. Someone with an actual brain cell examined the bear, named Boo Boo and he has been spared. He will not be invited to the university again, however. (Giant eye roll at Yahoo humor.)

You can't imagine how this made my day! Yay! Boo Boo is not going to die. Can I have him? Seriously. Why can't I ever have a bear? Whhhhhyyyyy? I would be such a good bear mommy. I would become the bear. I deserve a ....okay. I'll stop.

Party Like A Rockstar..JTX

Lissa says this is her favorite tune this week. I likes it too, it's catchy. She wants to know what Indo is? I do not know. What the fuck is Indo and do we smoke it, wear it, go to the doctor if we catch it? We want Indo..maybe? Maybe not.

Cheerful post

Mary Mary's cat loves the hat I made. I'm glad someone likes that fugly hat. In all fairness, I warned you, MaryX2. The cat on the hat. I made a joke, see? Not every post is dark.

The dog, on the other hand, has some taste and laid down and was not having that hat. In fact, the dog said, that hat is the garment equivalent of that tiki statue. What? I did not say that. That statue is cool. Except, I think it's trying to kill you. With it's pointy boobies. Said the person who made the stupid hat. The look on the dog's face just says it all.

Weird death post..I'm not sure why

There's a helpful photo of a graveyard, in case you don't know what death looks like. Eye roll at my own self for having no better idea of what pic to post with this weirdo post. Death. I am close to death. By that I mean, I talk to dead people and because of that, maybe I think of death differently than other people. Or maybe not. Some people have that thing called faith. I do not. I believe only in things I have personal proof of and I do not, in any way, think I have a calling to change anyone's mind or make them some sort of believer in something. Don't care. Not my business. I know what I know.

Death is the end of life as we know it. To dispute that is idiotic. Death steals life. The thought or belief that some form of life goes on after death does absolutely nothing for the true grieving of those left behind. Oh, it might be some comfort later, but, in the now, it sucks. It sucks so bad, you can not describe it to those who have not grieved yet. Their time is coming. Morbid, isn't it? So, why this post? Because yahoo news had this video posted about some humorous mommy blogger who got some major attention and I watched it because I do that. I'm a You Tube freak, because it's easy to get, easy to skip ahead, etc. I follow about a dozen people on You Tube who are self made wanna-be stars because I get bored and these people appeal to me for whatever reason. Some of them I've mentioned on here. Some I have not. What ever. I get a kick out of everyone from old Mormon ladies with ADHD to zitty teens with grave fetishes to that crazy 'tard' family. Hey, it's five minutes of my time, so what?

So, when I saw the amusing mommy blog vid, I went to her channel on YT to see if she was someone I'd follow. I found her too slick for my taste. She's photogenic and clever and her babies are cute, but, she's a film wizard and just..too slick. Too cleaned up for me, too..professional. HERE is the vid I originally found. She's actually awesome at making videos and will probably become rich from it. I wish her well, she deserves it, but, it's just not for me. That said, she led me to Connie. Who the hell is Connie? Another young mommy blogger (there are 72 million mommy bloggers, right?) who is in the same group as Elle, the film maker. So, I'm watching a few of Connie's vids and she's real cute too and gives mommy advice and pregnancy advice without being too slick or annoying. HERE she is talking about her C-section and child birth trouble. She just seems joyous at being a mom. But, then I notice all these RIP comments and I'm like WTF?

So, Connie died giving birth to her second child, a girl. She died. She flat out fucking died. In this day and age of medical miracles, this young woman died having a baby. She left behind a grieving husband, a little boy who doesn't know why his mommy is not ever coming back and a newborn baby girl. And it left me wondering if all these young mommy bloggers have any idea that birth is not just cute gender announcements, funny song parodies and skits about poop? I wonder if any of them realize they could die because birth is still a huge and dangerous undertaking? I wonder what you say when something like that happens? You say, THIS, I guess. Someone makes a nice video of you and then, you're...gone.

My son has a memorial vid too. Sometimes I like it, sometimes, I hate it. Mostly I ignore it and just keep it marked so I know where it is. I don't even know why I posted this. I just don't think death is attractive in young people. It pisses me off. Last night I was up late watching TV that I usually can't watch because I have a kid here. But, last night she was at her maternal grandpa's house (thanks, gramps) so I got to watch Louie CK. And of course, one of the episodes was about senseless death. WTF? Why don't I just stick to the sci-fi channel? He ran into a friend on the bus and bam, she dies. He goes with her to the hospital and her last words are, 'Am  I dying?? I'm not ready for this. Louie? Bye?' And that was it. Bye. Bye? Are you kidding me? Louie CK was stunned. No words. He was just like, WTF? Then he walked out and life went on.

There is no point to death when it happens to young people. It's unfair and it sucks, that's all. I want so badly to say that to these kids who are obsessed with death. The kids on You Tube I run into a lot while searching for someone I get. But, I try to never comment on You Tube. I am strictly a lurker. When one of the hoards of mommy bloggers die, who is to notice? I do and it made me sick. That's what I wanted to say. That's all. I am tired of death. I can't wait for the kid to come home. She's very alive and makes this house alive. I want to encourage her Goth phase, but, make her understand that death is not attractive. There's a line. We'll figure it out somehow. Even with her family history. I need to go watch something more cheerful. Who do you follow on You Tube, anyone?

Goth Friday

There is a new child living in my house. Where there was once a little girl who's favorite color was pink and who loooooooooooved Justin Beaver, there is now a Goth. Who wears nothing, but, black and who thinks everything is stupid. She came home last week and announced it to me in that tone she uses when I am obviously stupid and she needs to explain everything to me.  I looked up and said, cyber goth, techno goth, Lolita goth, Victoriana goth, fetish goth, Edwardian goth, punk goth, anime goth or steampunk goth? Her mouth dropped open and she said, will you help me? I said, if you want to be goth, you will be the best damn goth you can be. Of course I will help you. And I did.

Over the course of my goth fashion research, I found out goth is not fashion so much as a state of mind and it turns out, I'm goth too. I just don't wear much black. But, youth needs fashion, the blacker the better. Though, army green, dark purple and blood red accents are acceptable. Goth fashion is awesome from a money perspective..you can make almost all of it from used store finds. We've made birdskull neck pieces from poly clay and found studded black dog collars at dollar general. A pair of thigh high black fishnets became fingerless goth gloves and sleeve pieces. The Halloween boxes in storage have been raided. Nice purple spiderweb materials and tiny skulls for buttons. I must say, I am loving this goth phase. Oh, and we made black and purple lipstick from crayons and oil. Instructions on You Tube.

But, now the inner workings of the dark child must be addressed. For it is THAT time again. Time for her mother to fuck up and as you know, her mother's fuck ups are epic. Last night it involved a fight with her faux boy friend, some illegal and legal drugs, life threats, an ambulance, a fight with a paramedic and an attempt to bite off his finger, an escape, a minor car accident and another ambulance ride to a hospital where she will be treated and evaluated. I got a call from DHS social workers who told me that she is not allowed to take 'the child' anywhere now. 'The child' will stay here pending more treatment and court decisions. What's new?

I had to explain it to Lissa and I tried to be gentle, but, truthful. I left out the part where her mother threatened to end her own life. Because, firstly, Lis doesn't need to hear that and secondly, I don't believe it anymore. I told her there was a fight, drugs were involved and a minor car accident and her mom is in the hospital, but, she is not badly hurt and she will be fine. Lissa stomped her goth ass upstairs, screaming and crying about how her life sucks and her mom sucks. I let her carry on for awhile, because I agree with her. But, finally, I said, let's go get McDonalds. She screamed, we can't because we're POOR! I said, yeah, but, I have enough for the dollar menu and milk shakes. She dried her eyes and came down. On the way to eat, I told her she has the suckiest life of any kid I know and now she has a good reason to rebel. She wanted to know what 'rebel' meant. I explained it. So, she goes, 'Oh, yeah, Imna rebel for real. I AM GOTH!' I said, 'Honey, you sure are.' She said she was going to write a punk goth song called 'My Mom SUX!' Okay then. Maybe a play. Or a movie starring Kristen Stewart.


By the time we ate, she was feeling better and even had a sense of humor back. I mean, this isn't her first time at this rodeo. She lamented the fact that the meetings and therapy would start all over again when her mother promised her she was done with that. But, I said, sure, but, just think how much you can freak them all out now with your black eye shadow and nail polish and all black clothes. She cackled. Then she said, 'Grandma, will you try to heal the emptiness inside me by buying me things?' Oh, you know I will. The used store is having a sale on formal ball gowns. Five bucks each! "Can I have one??? A black one???" Sweetie, you can have two! And heels and worn high tops that match.

'I'll be alright, won't I Grandma?' Oh, yeah, you'll be just fine. Just fine, my little Goth. One must find the gentle soul that lives deep in the dark heart...and stomp the shit out of it. That way it can't fuck with you anymore. And you're going to look righteous in that black ball gown. I have skull and bat buttons I can sew all down the back.

The yard, the yard...sigh

I've been busy, getting ready to plant here. Last Fall, when I should have been working on it, I was in the hospital and missed the entire season. So, there are lots of regrets and lots of work. At least I managed to save all my glass 'sculptures' and all the birdbaths that would have frozen and broken. For now, I cut down that Magnolia sapling and I'm saving it. I want to get out the post hole digger and make it into a bottle tree. As you know, I HATE cutting down healthy trees, but, it was growing right next to the driveway where I unload groceries and cat food. It's heavy, drooping branches were hitting the car, causing me not to be able to open the back passenger side and Hawks were shitting on my car. It's bigger than it looks here. Magnolia is very soft wood, but, it still took me two days to get it down with my hand saw. I can't drag it alone either, so it's a project. I apologized to the Elementals for it's destruction in a small ceremony and I will make restitution to them. This is part of Pagan belief as well as my own personal belief. One cannot take from nature and give nothing back. Not if you expect to live in peace and harmony with the Elementals of Nature.

The Crabapple trees are ready to bloom, so I'll wait for that to trim them. I cut all the suckers though. Three wheelbarrow loads. I do not apologize for cutting suckers, no matter the size. That would be like a doctor saying, sorry, I fixed your broken leg. I found that angel in the rubble. It was laying down and buried. I don't care for religious ornaments, but, she's pretty. She can stay. I'll pretend she's a fairy.

The old Magnolia tree is blooming. That huge old tree! Is it normal that I like it when the blooms die better than the blooms show? I love it when they carpet the ground. It just thrills me. I'm strange that way. Well, they don't last long either way.

I'm finally ready to just watch the show come on! And to add to it here and there. I know it doesn't look like much to you, but, to me, it looks sooooo good. I finally got it all cleaned up. It took a long time and much hard work and I have to work slow, with patience. This year, I decided not to clean up the leaves, opting to uncover new plants instead. Let's see how that works. I think it could be good. Leaves make good compost, why not compost right in the beds? I did pile the most of it around shrubs and trees, like mulch. It should cut down on the few weeds I have, plus help get rid of unwanted flowers like Daisies, Morning Glories and Black Eyed Susans. I am tired of those bullies. They can live out back. As you can see, I still have the fence lines to do, but, they should go quick with some pruners. That's all old Sunflowers and my beloved Poke weed. Which is now spreading really well. Heh heh.

I had a whole bag of Sweet Potatoes this Winter. I couldn't eat them all, so I started shoving them in jars of water to sprout. Now I have about 50 of them I can use in hanging pots. I love them in pots, they're so beautiful and they cost so much in the nurseries. Most people don't recognize them in hanging arrangements, but, they're real common. I figured it out one year while dumping dirt from hanging pots and I found a small potato. A duh moment. You can easily get 6-12 good plants off one potato, so why buy them?

Baby Pumpkins ready to plant. Pumpkins are so easy and quick to spout, but, these are white ones. I wanted to make sure I got some white ones. There are random cherry Tomatoes in there too. (Of no importance.) My Rosemary seedlings haven't sprouted and it depresses me. I couldn't find Rosemary plants here at all last year. This damn tiny town! I am completely out of Rosemary and I use it constantly. Plus, the scent just makes my Summer days better. It's like herbal Prozac to me. They'd better sprout or I'll be so disappointed. Oh, and no, I don't thin seedlings. I just cut them apart and plant them all. It works fine as long as you do it early in their growth.

So, that's it for now. Today it's 57 degrees and cloudy, like a rain is coming. Perfect. A perfect Dirty Disher day for yard work. I've been out there off and on all day. I may mow the lawn. At least the front where people can see. Oh, I forgot..the vegetable garden, which I covered in garden fabric last year as an experiment, looks great! No weeds still! No need for tilling or much digging. I am loving that! It's always an AWFUL chore, but, not this year. That fabric is great and I bought more, in bulk, on sale, during the Winter clearance. I still have a ton of it. Did you know the dollar store sells it now? Yeah. Fricken' A.

What are you doing in your yard or garden?

I almost forgot..the variegated Dog Wood, one of my favorite plants. Yesterday, there was not one single leaf on it, only red twigs. Look at it today! I can't believe how it opened in one day. Those variegated or Red Twig Dogwoods are the single investment anyone should make for a garden. I am not kidding. You cannot believe the amount of compliments and questions I get about this one plant. It's because the white tipped leaves contrast with everything else and it demands your attention. If you don't have one, you need to get one. Seriously. You can let them be a shrub or grow as a small tree.