Eva LongWhoria with no makeup

What would YOU suggest she do with that wad of cash in her big knuckled hand?

Janet Jackson is on her Rock Witchu tour

First of all, I have a problem with any middle aged woman who thinks "witchu" is a word. Second, she looks like a sausage that's been boiled in it's casing.

Jessica Simpson on Letterman

It's all about Tony. She talks about nothing, but Tony..I'm not even kidding. Dave just needs to get Tony on the show, because he clearly has nothing to say to this dumb bell. She's still stupid, but, her dress was cute and the earrings were hot.

Gwen Stefani designs uniforms for female bartenders

source
Gwen Stefani designed the new uniforms for female beertenders at the W hotel. Gwen is one of the few celeb designers who actually designs herself and her L.A.M. B. line is respectable. I like her sketches, it looks like you could wear a good support bra under that and dress it up with different accessories and shoes. I've had to wear uniforms to bartend in..it was so boring you couldn't stand it or it was something that wasn't flattering for every body type, so some girls looked like poo..every friggin' night. Uggg. In one place I even made up a story about how my religion prohibited a certain color (fire engine red) so I could get out of it. They believed me..no one even asked what religion I was. Good thing, but, there's a hint for you if you're stuck in some uncomfortable yuk every night. Anyhow, my question for YOU is..have you ever had to wear a uniform to work and what was the worst one you had to wear??

Mariah and Nick at the Tennessee screening, NYC

That's a very telling photograph of Mariah Carey. Paps caught her coming out of a theatre, she spotted them and ever mindful of her public appearance, flashed the pearly whites, but, she just couldn't quite wipe the disdain off her face. Ukkk, commoners! Nick is oblivious, he's just along for the ride.

Joe Simpson's new son

I'm glad Pappa Joe finally got that boy he always wanted. Pete is fresh as a daisy in spring runway fashion. Look at the piping on that tailored jacket! Pairing the yellow hip huggers with the right boots was the key to the whole look. Well done, Pete, now go dress Jessica. She could use your help.

Paris Hilton's Lost Screen Test

WTF????????

Two overpaid tards out to dinner

Timbertard's going for the worst dressed award or he borrows dress up clothes from Casey Aldridge. It sucks when your boy friend wears more lipstick than you do.

Pam to Sarah Palin: "Suck It!"

Proof that short people can't dress like tall people

It doesn't matter how much money your husband has, you can't buy legs. Only people built like Nicole Kidman can pull this shit off, midgets like Jada Pinkett become a joke. She looks like a box of generic tissues.

Kim heads for rehearsal

Kim Kardashian heads upstairs to practice her Dancing With The Stars routine. Sigh..there is only one BIG reason for her to be on that show and it isn't because she's a dancer.

This is art?

Pam Anderson getting a spray tan by photographer David LaChapelle is expected to sell for over $25,000 at Sotheby's Contemporary Art sale.

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My thoughts when I saw it..hmm, I used to have that same problem, Pam. May I recommend a hysterectomy? It'll save you a bundle on throw rugs alone. Oh, and..yuk.

DD Rant

Grazia magazine writer say Joshua Jackson visited Katie Holmes in NYC and he's like some knight in shining armor because he wants her to turn to her friends for support.
Grazia: Katie has been looking skinny and depressed and, like any concerned friend, rather than do nothing Joshua wanted to check everything was OK,’ the source told the magazine. ‘They haven’t spoken in a while and, naturally, he was worried.
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You Grazia fuckers must be bored out of your F-listed skulls. How retarded do you think we are? This dude hasn't had his picture in a blog since Dawson's Creek went off the air, he needed some publicity. Either that or he wanted to borrow her pants. You stupid fucks. Feel free to EAT ME.

Vagina Monologue?

Sam Ronson DJ-ing at The Marmont: "By the end of this year, my love will be Mrs. Ronson.” She added: “Tonight shows the power of a woman – to underestimate that is to underestimate the world."

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Jesus Christ on a crutch, you aren't running for president, you just talked some former whore into marrying you. Aaaaaaaand they cease to be cute. It was bound to happen.

Jessica Simpson's bare butt

Why won't celebrities wear underwear? Why? Are you really so stupid that you think climbing onstage ABOVE the audience with your bare ass hanging out is okay? Really?

Kanye gets arrested and I don't care

You can go HERE to see film of the incident which caused Kanye West to be arrested for vandalism. I did hear on TV that the camera he destroyed was valued at 10 grand. Kanye's a fucking hot dog and of no consequence to me. TMZ provokes shit all the time, so who knows who's fault it really was? It's all boring.

Puke me

Yet another photo of Katie Holmes going to rehearsal in NYC. How many ugly jeans and ugly purses does she own and how much rehearsal does she need? Really. Suri will be in Scientology college before this play is ever shown. Yawn, yawn, yawn. If I was Tommy Girl, I'd be getting suspicious.

Changeling Trailer

I can't wait to see this, Angelina playin' crazy again. No one plays crazy like Jolie. Comes out in October.

Connection problems

I'm having problems staying connected, it's storming here. If I disappear again, it's just the cable. Oh, and good morning!

Honor Warren isn't smiling either

Honor seems to have the same attitude about the paps as her mother. Alba is cast in a new movie where she plays a math whiz obsessed with numbers. Jessica is taking acting lessons to help. Okay, umm..trying not to be mean here, but, I hope the film doesn't start for 10 years. It'd take that long to teach Alba how to pull the stick out of her ass. Let's hope math teachers wear bikini's.

The Blow's tricky dicky

Hey, Lindsay..I don't think that's a blouse. If it is a blouse, the built in bra isn't working.

Someone explain the need for this

There is just no reason I can think of for Pam Anderson to wear a bikini on the Ellen show, she just prances around with her busted old face half naked. Ellen has Portia de Rossi at home, why would she want to look at this? Ellen did ask her if she was dating Michael Jackson and Pam answered.... "He just wants me to be in a video." Ellen: "So seriously, have you been hanging out with him?" Pam: "It happens … skin cancer and Vicodin. I don’t know … I have a lot of interesting friends."
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Actually, Pam, you don't have anything interesting anymore.

Sam and Lindsay want a baby

An "insider" at the Lohan camp says Lindsay wants a baby and so does Samantha, but, they don't want to adopt. Lindsay wants an ex boyfriend to donate and she will carry the child and have a natural birth. Okay..I don't know what adoption agency would give The Blow a kid, so she'd have to have it herself. You'd think she could talk Sam into having one for her, but, whatever. They have as much right to have a child as any of the other celeb douchebags. I hope it's last name is Ronson, because Lohan seems like a curse. If this rumor is true we can call Dina Grandma. Oh, yeah.

Ellen and Portia's Wedding video

It's worth watching, it's very sweet.

Jessica Simpson "With You" on Good Morning America

Jessica messes up on the Today Show. I didn't see a big catastrophe, she just couldn't hear. But, I still wonder why she thinks this song is country? Just because you sing a pop song with a southern accent doesn't make it country. Ohhh, 'cause it has the word Levi's in it?

Dannielynn turned two

Dannielynn Birkhead is two years old now, it's too bad her mom couldn't be here to see this. She's adorable. Happy birthday, Dannielynn!

Hot mess's at the VMA's

Lohan had the hottest dress on at the VMA's, yeah, don't ask me wtf her ass was doing there, but, that dress is killer. The zippers are just the touch to make it rock n roll without being tacky and those shoes! Man, I'm not even a purple person, but, her outfit was hot.

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And how does Britney do that??? It's like the old Britney again. She turned back time.

Angelina may kill him

There was no confrontation at the Toronto film fest between Aniston and Pitt. They stayed away from each other in public, but, sources at the Hyatt claim the two had a drink together and chatted nicely. Jen was with two girlfriends and Brad "rushed" home to France and you know who.

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I'll bet he rushed! Angelina was at home with 6 kids and post partum and she had forbidden Brad to have any contact with Jennifer. Jesus Christ, Brad, are you suicidal? Let me spell it out for you, dude..6 kids, 2 newborns with colic, crazy mother, post partum...you are so dead. Nice knowin' ya.

Neighbors want SandHumper to stop boozing on the beach

source
"Matthew McConaughey is feuding with his Malibu neighbors over his boozing on the beach, a source tells Star.
"Matt is rarely seen without a bottle or can of beer in his hand — he likes to unwind with friends. They surf and down beer after beer."
But his neighbors want him to give it up, the sources says. "The kids who play on the beach think Matt's cool because he's in movies," the insider says.
But the parents think he's a bad influence. "They don't want their sons and daughters watching Matt get tipsy. Matt thinks they are overreacting. He says he's a dad, too, and they should mind their own business.""
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Stop pissing in the surf, stop brushing your teeth in the ocean, stop running around naked shouting "my dong! my dingly dong!", stop playing your bongos at midnight, stop smoking the seaweed, stop fucking the fish..jeez, they're a buzz kill.

Twins

Michelle Obama and Omarosa. I just figured out why Michelle grosses me out. OMG.

Kate Hudson rude and nasty

The NY Post reports the Kate Hudson was a nasty little brat at Rachael Zoe's crack party, errr I mean Bravo premiere party Thursday night. Kate was in a foul mood and upset that there were so many people at a party.

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Source

"She was almost indignant waiting for a friend to arrive." When the friend came, Hudson and pal got in an elevator headed to the roof top party, but the actress became incensed when there were too many people around her. "In the elevator she kept screeching, 'I'm freaking out! It's too much!' while waving her arms around." When she arrived at the roof, Hudson shunned the press line, claiming, "I don't do that," before going into a corner and demanding a bodyguard.

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Hudson's reps claim the story is not true and that Kate went to the crack house, errr, I mean party and had a good time. I believe them, Kate would have been far to busy walking up to every homely man at the party and asking if he would be her next boy friend. Photo ops and the Uncle title included.

Solange fuck ugly

Seriously, what do you do to get attention when your sister is a star and you have no talent and everyone knows you're an ignorant mean bitch? I'll bet she designed it herself. You know you've seen too much nick at nite when you start wearing Lucy Ricardo's maternity jacket as a dress and Ethel Mertz's curtain tiebacks as shoes.

Where's Kendra??

Holly and Bridget at the The Great American Fantasy party at the Playboy mansion. Where's Kendra? Doesn't she live there anymore? These two without Kendra are an unbearable duuur fest as insubstantial as Holly's spun cotton hair extensions.

New pic of Harlow

Harlow is growing, awww. She's definitely Joel Maddens daughter. Love the little 60's print dress. If she looks like dad then she gets her fashion from mom.

Big shot Diddy busted in a lie

Remember that video a couple of weeks ago where Diddy talked about flying commercial and not taking his private jet because of gas prices? Turns out he doesn't have a private jet.
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source
"An extensive look through federal aviation records by the Palm Beach Post turned up no Seans, Diddys, Combs, or Puffys as the registered owner. One source said, 'I have a list of every plane with the name of the owner, and he's not on it.'
For the record, says his rep, he's got a 'fractional' ownership in a plane on NetJets, where you buy flight hours."
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Yeah, Diddy, that's the same as owning a private jet. Not only do you relate to us, we are so impressed. Douche.

Strange kid cops a feel

Jen Garner taking Violet Affleck to a Brentwood eatery called Giggles N Hugs last weekend. Ummmm, Violet? Is that you? Seriously, did the kid have plastic surgery, or did they trade her for a new one? Who is that?

Posh does a pixie

Victoria Beckham unveiled her new pixie cut at the Marc Jacobs Spring fashion show, the world swooned. CNN stopped covering the war and everyone forgot Sarah Palin's name for several minutes while the collective universe whispered "cuuuuute." J-Lo got so excited she tried to touch Pish-Posh's boobie, but, settled for holding her hand. It suits her, but, it's so three months ago for me. She obviously saw my photo on here. Good, now I can get a bob.

It's a boy for Minnie Driver

Henry Story Driver was born Friday in L.A. Congrats, Minnie. Henry weighed 9 pounds and 12 ounces! Owch.

Hef and Holly break up rumor

source
""Amid rumors that Hugh Hefner’s main squeeze Holly Madison has been hooking up with another major playboy (magician Criss Angel), a Playboy Mansion insider not only confirmed that the rumors are indeed true, but also exclusively told Scandalist that Holly is leaving him. “[Holly] told Hef that she is moving out of the mansion and breaking off their relationship.""
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Yeah, right. What is she going to do without Hef? Work for NASA and design rocket ships? Become a scientist and cure cancer? Go to pancake college and work for IHOP?

Selma Blair bites it

Selma Blair eats pavement while riding a scooter on the set of Kath and Kim. I only took notice because I have that scooter. It goes really fast. No one knows I ride it because I only take it out about 3 am when I can't sleep. There's a good hill a block from here, I can get enough momentum to coast around the block and all the way home. In my long white cotton bathrobe. I wonder if insomniac drunks think I'm a ghost?

GILF episode 1

GILF is an original series created for You Tube by Wendi McLendon-Covey. There are 4 episodes so far and I want more!

Kendra not at the VMA's

Wilkinson in a brown wig because it's the only thing I've found so far that isn't VMA bullshit. I wonder if Hef likes to play "I'm dry humping Eva LongWhoria?"

X-Tina's spiderweb mermaid

Christina Aguilera had a cool dress and too much goop as usual. She was channeling old Britney, same dance moves and hair shake and even the same outfit Brit wore in 2004. Yawn.

Russell Brand "shocks' America

Russell Brand is the headliner today because last night at the VMA's he called Bush a retarded cowboy and said that he wouldn't be allowed to run with scissors in England. Reports all over say the audience was shocked and Britney refused to clap. Get the fuck outta here. We all think Bush is a retarded cowboy, Brand didn't shock anyone and Britney didn't clap because she didn't get the joke. Either that, or she had a drink in both hands.
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Brand also made fun of the pimple crowds purity ring craze and was chastised by Jordin Sparks who said purity rings are fine because not everyone wants to be a slut. What the fuck was Jordin Sparks even doing onstage? Stupid greasy Idol loser needs to shut up and read the Q cards and thank her lucky stars anyone even knows her douchebag name. What the fuck were half those losers doing there?

Twins for Pete and Ashlee?

A pal of Pete Wentz has let it slip that the couple is having twins. I am so glad. I hope one is her clone and one is his, so future generations are guaranteed the full benifit of Simpson and Wentz's entertainment value.

Three for Britney

Britney Spears, looking every inch a star, opened the VMA's without incident and took home three of the awards herself. Best Female Video, Best Pop Video, and Video of the Year for "Piece of Me." She combed her extensions, put on underwear and read the Q cards. What did I tell you? Congrats Brit. You can see her opening HERE, if you missed it.

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BTW, she called the VMA anniversary, the "aniversity", but, I won't pick on her. I really don't think this girl knows that she IS the elephant in the room.