They can all shove that bus

London buses directing passers-by to a website that told those who did not accept Christianity that they would suffer for eternity in Hell were countered with this Atheist bus message. It says "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."
*
Cop out. A real Atheist wouldn't have included the word "probably." But, I understand their anger. Who tells someone where to go on the side of a bus? Now the God lovers and God haters are fighting to see who can raise the most money to advertise their afterlife choices on public transit. May the best whore win.

Tom's calculated image

I found this tidbit interesting..according to Star, Tom Cruise's reps are Hell bent on changing his image back to that of a celebrity women can love. The changes include appearing on shows aimed at women, like The View, and no more talk about Scientology. The best part of his new image is that his reps have told him.. hands off Katie in public. They feel that women are tired of seeing him manhandle his wife, grabbing her arm and leading her about, etc. I've never really thought he was manhandling her. It always looks more like she's out of it, sedated, and he guides her like a tug boat. It keeps her from walking into traffic. I figure she follows orders well. He can't change my mind about him, but, watching him practice restraint should be fun. Watching controllers out of control is always fun...as long as you frisk them first.

Which Shia LaBeouf do you like better

I like Shia being sad with his garden gnomes but maybe you prefer the bag look. Has he been hanging out with John Mayer?

Sharing the Joan

I just thought I'd share this recent pic of Joan Rivers. It looks like something has snapped in the right side of her face. Her eyebrows are hangin' on for dear life though.

Obama's official statement on Roe v. Wade anniversary

President Obama: "On the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we are reminded that this decision not only protects women’s health and reproductive freedom, but stands for a broader principle: that government should not intrude on our most private family matters. I remain committed to protecting a woman’s right to choose.
While this is a sensitive and often divisive issue, no matter what our views, we are united in our determination to prevent unintended pregnancies, reduce the need for abortion, and support women and families in the choices they make. To accomplish these goals, we must work to find common ground to expand access to affordable contraception, accurate health information, and preventative services.
On this anniversary, we must also recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights and opportunities as our sons: the chance to attain a world-class education; to have fulfilling careers in any industry; to be treated fairly and paid equally for their work; and to have no limits on their dreams. That is what I want for women everywhere."
*
You should check out the Official White House Agenda for Women, (if you haven't already)..HERE.

Mariah Carey was upset at the inauguration

From Page 6..A spy said, "Mariah was in the VIP area, where every celebrity was seated. But somehow she thought she'd be up with the Obama family. When she realized she wasn't, she bailed."
*
What's wrong with this country??? Don't they know how important Mariah is? There's a butterfly on our flag, right?

I know that look

Tryin' to have a nice dinner without the new baby and dad's all, like, why won't you sit down? I'm tired, everything's not a game, geeez. And mom's like, yeah she does that crap 24/7 but I'm the only one home to deal with it. How do you like them apples?

*

Tell me if I'm wrong..but, I think I'm liking these two more today. I like normal parents who just need a nap.

Beanie Babies..Beanie Psycho

"Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia."Ty Inc. has released the 12-inch plush dolls as part of the company's TyGirlz Collection. Little "girlz" don't want Beanie Babies, the true collector of Beanie Babies is a past middle aged woman who has helmet hair and a bedazzled sexy senior sweat shirt. She buys crocs in every color, her closet is full of Quacker Factory, and she's convinced her Beanie collection will someday be worth a million. I know..I've seen enough Beanie collectors. They all have special Beanie rooms to display their "valuables." You can look the old bats right in the eye and say "That shit will never be worth anything in a hundred years. You can set that embarrassing garbage out on the curb and no one will take it" and they think I'm insane. You watch, there will be some Beanie collector on here telling me how valuable they are. Let me save you a post..YOU are RETARDED. Oh, man, I don't know why they had to get the Presidents daughters mixed up in this mess.

If I was Michelle..

I'd be worried. Oprah managed to get herself invited to the White House for the last of the after parties. She waited until around 2 am for Obama to show up. I heard Michelle finally got tuckered out and hit the sack..alone. Y'all can say Oprah's a supporter all you want. I say she's a stalker and she's going to eventually get Obama's head between her thighs and squeeze him into Democrat juice. She just needs to get rid of Michelle first. I'm betting even the secret service doesn't have a handle on this one. Area 54 is just a panty liner compared to Oprah.

ParAss is a greedy ho and BFF is out

ParAss helped herself to 30 free bags of swag at Sundance Film Festival's gifting suite. 30 BAGS! The publicity people were "shocked" and "aghast." ParAss wasn't the least bit embarassed. I don't know why anyone would be shocked at her greed. She's probably going to donate all the expensive free stuff to poor kids..............HAHAHAHA.
*
Also interesting (to me) is that a casting call for a second season of My New BFF just went out. Brittany Flickinger has no idea, she's still posting that "spending time wiff my girl" crap on her My Space. Once again, I say what we all know, ParAss isn't a nice girl.

When will celebs ever learn?

Jessica Alba is on a mission. She's hit every event in Washington and is "active." Alba is no longer a body, she is an ACTOR, ACTIVIST, LATINA, MOTHER. Do you understand, people? She will change the world. She turned the tables on Washington journalist by asking HIM a question.....for her blog. Yeah, blog, I know. Gawd. “What do you think is Barack’s greatest characteristic going into office?” she asked. He said he wasn't sure he should answer that and she went off on him.."Be neutral! Be Sweden about it!"
*
Oh, mercy. Then her husband came and took her camera phone away and ended her journalistic career.

Posed and un-posed Katie

Tom and Katie in Berlin..peculiar, isn't it? The first Katie seems to say, yes, we are THE happy Hollywood power couple. The second Katie seems to be saying, I'm not allowed to have sharp objects.

Brad and Angies new digs

Brad and Angie and their "broooood" will be living in this $60 million dollar mansion in Long Island's North Shore area. She has to come back here to film that Salt thing, so they'll be here all summer. Have I told you how much I hate Tudor? It creeps me out. Good thing they're only renting.

Sing it like Bouncie

The lyrics to "At Last"
Aaaaaaaaaaaat layeeeeeeeesttttttttttttttttttt, my lou-uh-uh oveeeeeeee has come alooooooooo, ya ya ya ya-ong,
yeaow,
My looooooonley dayssss are ovaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ya ya ya-ya aavah,
yeaw, my li-yi-yi-YIIII -ife is like a so-ya-ya-ya-yaoyaoya-yowng.
Yeow, YEEEEEWA, yeahhh. Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh, yeow.
*
I'm suing her for emotional damage.

This week in hats

Sorry, Lily Allen, I've seen that somewhere before and didn't like it then. Aretha Franklin, that hat rocks!

Your boots are made for walkin'

Hey, Jenna and Barbara Bush, time to take your drunken shot doing crotch showing rich girl butts out of the White House and step. I said STEP. Daddy aint the boss no more.

Brittany gets dumped, ParAsshole style

Page Six reports:
Nicky forbade Paris from staying at Jeffrey Katzenberg's house with her, forcing the heir-head to rent a condo and befriend Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day. "Paris kept ditching Brittany for Aubrey," said our source. Friday night, the two left Flickinger at the Eldridge and went across the street to Tao, where the former Best Friend Forever found them at 2 a.m. "She was crying and screaming, 'Paris, stop leaving me!' " said our snitch.
*
Well, duhh, Aubery is more famous than Brittany Flickinger. And if Nicky Hilton hates you, what can you do? Poor BFF is as over as the colorful plastic combs she wears in her hair. What's her parting gift? Herpes and a unicorn?

Winslet's confused

Kate in her acceptance speech (Golden Globes) : "Leo, I'm so happy I can stand here and tell you how much I love you and how much I've loved you for thirteen years."
*
Now Kate says that DiCaprio "feels more like my husband than my real husband, I have to say. I'm talking about him so much!"
*
As for Leo, he says kissing Kate is like kissing a relative. Can't she just give it up? It's been 13 years! This is so pathetic.

Please let them be dating

Denise Richards and Ron Jeremy at a Sundance party. Ron's seen all kinds of cootchie, but, he hasn't seen all kinds of crazy..'till now.

The dress and the dance

Oh. My. When he danced with her last night..Oh. My. That's all I could say. OH. MY. Oh, and shut up Beyonce you're harshing everyone's buzz. But, OH MY.
*
See for yourself. HERE.

You think that's a geyser?

No. That's Oprah gushing on inauguration day. Ma man! Ma boy! 'Bama baby! Tomorrow Oprah will be soaked up with a giant sponge, delirious, mumbling "ba ba bama, history, black peeps, ba, ba, Baaaaaaaaaaaaama."

Tranny rip off

Brooke Hogan has already ripped off Kelly Clarkson's new tune, My Life Would Suck Without You. Juvinile lyrics, but, a decent tune..why does Brooke think it's okay to do that? Oh, yeah, she's a Hogan. Someone forgot to tell Brooke she has no talent. We can only hope she goes for a nice long car ride with her brother.

High heels in the sand

I can't think of anything more boring than the travel channel. Bridget Marquardt is on Australia's Gold Coast filming her new show Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches. I don't care how sexy the beaches are or how good she looks in a bikini (she looks good, okay?)..I never watched GND for the bodys. I watched for the catty gossip and there won't be any on sexy beaches. No dirty looks, snide comments, fake laughs. Bridget is a "journalist" and Kendra is going to be a housewife. Holly is going to marry that loser magician and have babies. You wait and see. Betcha. WTF? It's the end of an era. It makes me sad when kids grow up.

Heil, Tom!

Tom Cruise has a list of requirements for German journalists to follow before they can talk to his highness.
Must have seen Valkyrie.
Must have liked Valkryie.
Must read a letter about how Scientology has never been banned in Germany.
*
Basically the same stuff he tells Katie everyday. Must sleep with Tom Cruise. Must love sleeping with Tom Cruise. Must agree Tom Cruise is a tall heterosexual.

Julia Robets is really pissed

Fuck off outta my face!

True love by text

Apparently Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston can't get enough of each other..even in church. While attending services the two kept sending text messages to each other. They thought they could keep it sly, but, Miley kept giggling. The pastor finally had enough and pulled them aside and chewed them out. I don't know why anyone's surprised, these two can't behave themselves anywhere. He's 20, you'd think he'd be a little more mature, but, he IS with Miley. Maybe that Fly On The Wall song is about Jesus.

Michelle Obama's Inauguration Dress

My curiosity is satisfied. The jacket thing under the coat kind of confuses the eye, but, other than that..it's okay.

Gris looks even worse with her clothes on

Now I know what she did with that bush after she finally shaved it. She recycles.

Great pap picture

I just liked the angles in this pap photo of Valentina laughing at mom, Salma Hayek while being held by a body guard. Salma was having a smoke break. Those vehicles are very large, aren't they?

It's Brad's turn to talk

Brad's in Berlin and he's talking about death again. “I’m not so afraid of getting old, I’m more afraid of how I’ll go,” he told a news conference on Monday. “Fire and tight spaces don’t appeal. A shark would be interesting.”
*
This Benjamin Buttons crap has farked with his head. This is the 4th interview I've read this month where he's obsessed with death and afraid of death. Who wants to make the "tight spaces" joke? I'll pass. Get over it, Brad, we're all on borrowed time. But, I will say, death by shark..I'll pass on that too.
*
Brad also commented on the election..“I’ve been filming here the last few months and the Americans who were here during the night of the election were congratulated by all Europeans on the set,” he said. “I thought that was really interesting. It’s a big day for us.”
*
Of course they did. They've run out of stupid American jokes and they finally figured out we didn't elect Bush. I wonder if Brad will do lunch with Tommy Girl? He's in Berlin too, dreaming of killing Hitler.

Hot Gris in the fog

It looks like W mag shot these through fog, smoke, tulle, cellophane, Vaseline and anything else you can put between a camera lens and harsh reality. Still the harsh leaked through. This is much scarier and vomitous than the hairy bush photo.

Rockers in wax

Madame Tussaud’s is at it again. It's very Janis, isn't it? Right down to the choice of furniture. Sharon and Ozzy are spot on. Click the pics to see 'em bigger.

I'm sooooooo sick of this shit

Joaquin Phoenix's new "rap" career is being shown and talked about more than Lily Allen's third nipple. Casey Affleck is making a documentary on this shit. You can watch Joaquin's "rapping" HERE. This mofo can't rap. He doesn't know the meaning of rap. I'm sure there are good drugs involved here. This poor bastard can't even spank his own old dirty ass. Stars need to at least read a book about the new career they choose. I'm going to be a brain surgeon! I don't need no damn training. I be, I is! I feel it deep inside me. I got me a fork and a drill..who's first?

Patricks home

Patrick Swayze has been released from the hospital after battling pneumonia. His reps and his mom say he's doing okay. I'm really glad to hear that. He's one of those people I really do think about sometimes and hope for the best for him.

Got bullshit?

Christie Brinkley on milk: "This is a great way to ensure that if … you are cutting back and you are not able to buy an expensive piece of fish or something else, milk actually, per glass, is a very affordable way to get your nutrients."
*
She's trying the opposite tactic as Paltrow, a pathetic way to relate to us. I can't afford a piece of fish! Thank goodness I can have a glass of milk! WTF? Last I looked, milk was more expensive than most fish...it's hard to get fish in a baby bottle though. Thank goodness I have ex super models to explain things to me. Can I just file this under retarded and never hear her again?

Most self delusional quote of the week

ParAss Hilton was asked by Fabulous mag who her "dream" best friend would be. ParAss: "I love Angelina Jolie! She’s strong but gorgeous and uses her fame for good to make a big difference in the world. That’s a great quality. I’d have a lot in common with her!"
*
Shocked me! I would have sworn she'd say Princess Di or Brittany Clitinger. Go ahead, tell ParAsshole what she does or does not have in common with Angie. I can't wait to hear what you say.

No reason..

I was just highly amused by Angie's face there. What do you suppose she's thinking, Dalink?

The "grip" of winter

The headlines this week screamed that parts of our country were caught in the "grip" of cold. I guess that's a good way to describe it. It feels like winter has lost it's marbles and is going postal. It's been a week of dangerous cold. My antique furnace finally gave up it's feeble attempts at heating me and died. Ha, I said, I laugh at you furnace, I can take it! Another one was ordered. Uhhh, I watched the temperature drop below zero and stay there. -5...-10...uhh -20.....what the fricking frick? Ehhh, I'd blog some and when my feet lost feeling I'd go stick 'em on mom's furnace grate and come back, make tea and blog some more. When the night temp got to 29 below zero, there was no sleeping. You readers in warm places like Australia might want to convert that to Celcius and then you'll go OMFG! Oh, I looked it up, it's minus 33 C. Gowd, what I wouldn't give to have had Gwyneth Paltrow here. Can you even imagine? Hee hee. Are you cold, Gwynie? Awww, make a smoothie, bitch. I'm stubborn, I believe you can take about anything for a day or two. Don't be a weenie.

*
The new heater came in the next day and was installed (thank you Sam and Adrion!) but, it was too late for the pipes. Frozen solid. Oh, lovely. I showered at mom's and thought, hey, I'm warm. Ha, Winter! Eat my butt, Winter. After three days they gave a huge CRACK and the water was back with no damage. How lucky am I?? The drains stayed frozen though. That's a city sewer freeze and they had to deal with it. I had to wait two more days to use my water. It's okay now though. Watching a toilet flush, well, it has it's own kind of beauty.

*

The car is still dead. Machines are such quitters. We put out 20 pounds of bird feed today. I have a new appreciation of a birds survival skills. When the car gets jumped I'm going to go buy them an electric water bowl. Birds never whine, have you noticed that?

Chow time!

Alex and Gwen review their favorite eatery...mom Gail's kitchen. Awwww, they're so cute! Let me guess..the next stop was the car wash?