Saturday, January 31, 2009

Lady GaGa's party wear


After looking at this for four days, I finally decided...I need a rubber skirt. There's a tactile creepiness to it that I enjoy. Also, it is "flesh colored" crayon color, another creepy thing I've always liked. The flesh color crayon is one of those unexplained things that's always tickles the brain. She can keep the bra though. That's just silly.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Kendra is getting her own show

Former Girls Next Door Star Kendra Wilkinson is getting her own show on E! The new reality series will follow her career change as she leaves Hefs mansion and moves on. I don't know what kind of a career she has, because I never did figure out what she does. It doesn't matter. I'll be watching, tickled to hear the horse laugh, boob showing, football playing, blondie as she walks into doors, trips over her own feet, mistakes a bowl of tapioca pudding for her former boy friend, refuses "weird" food and wears her underpants on her head. HU HU HU HU HUHUHUHUHHU HU!!! Hey, just because I won't let Kendra do open heart surgery on me, doesn't mean I'm not amused by her.

The height of stupidity

That mom of octuplets in the news lately is getting parenting advice from Kate Gosselin. That's kind of like inviting Hitler to your Bar Mitzvah or asking Michael Jackson to babysit you're little boy..but I digress. New info about the octuplet mother (that's 8 babies at once in case you live in a cave) include the fact that she's single, lives with her parents and she already has 6 kids. So now she has 14 and yes, it was in vitro with the new 8. Some doctor implanted that woman with 8 babies despite the fact that the single mom had 6 kids already. Now you have Kate Gosselin, the biggest child pimper in the world, sitting on her ass in the mansion her kids paid for telling the octuplet mom to "Leave it up to God." In the meantime, I took this message right off a Kate Gosselin fan site...
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Florence mose 6-11-2007 @ 3:51PMAs soon i watched Jon and kate i relaised there where my heros i have always wanted many twins and seeing them now i feel they are my role models and now am pregnant with my first child but after seeing them me and my husband want to find out how we can be able to have quadraples any advice from jon and kate will be highly appreciated. Jon and kates family looks wonderful and beautiful i love it and adore it. any advice i will appreciate.
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I have some advice for you, Flo..grow a fucking brain! Maybe these bitches can have a brain implanted. Ya think?
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You HAVE to watch this video to see how really disfunctional it all is. 8 year old Mady has clearly had enough..yet Kate forces her to do one more interview. It's disturbing. Thanks for finding that Musings from the Moon.

News flash! Brad and Angie..still in love!


Angie: "Brad can’t be described using words but to wake up and see him with our kids, taking care of us or to wake up in his arms and look in his eyes makes me the proudest woman in the world. He is the man that made all my dreams come true."
Brad says Angelina completes him and..
Gowd! I can't even type this stuff anymore. We get it already!

ex Top Chef says he was used as a sex symbol

People mag asked chef Jeff McGinnes about how he will be remembered on the show.."I think the show used me as some kind of sex object. Every single show that I’ve ever seen, they have me with my shirt off in the beginning — which is kind of strange. I don’t run around the house naked half the time like they portrayed me. It seems like a camera was always following me around trying to find me whenever I’m taking my clothes off to change in the morning or at night."
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Seems like Jeff isn't getting much sympathy over his claim. Could it be because he's so pretty? This seasons Top Chef (which I am so addicted to) featured some serious hunks. Besides Jeff, who has perfect features and those adorable blond bangs, you've also got smart assed ego maniac, Stefan and the hunky Italian bully, Fabio, and adorable horn dog, Hosea. Seriously, is anyone watching this show for the recipes??? Pffft, I didn't think so.
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Sigh..but, as much as I liked looking at Jeff McGinnes, he had to pack his knives and go because pretty as he is, the judges couldn't stand one more freeking sorbet. Now if only they'd tell Radhika to pack it up. OMG, will they wet their pants over monkeys ass if it's curried??? I'll have to write to Fabio and ask....monkeys ass seems to be his speciality.

Rebecca Romijn out and about...

..one month after having twins. Are you kidding me???

The difference

Yeah, if I felt like it, I'd call Jessica Simpson a fat pig. But, I'd never say that about Anjelica Houston. You know why? Because Anjelica Houston is friggin' awesome and Jessica Simpson is worthless bimbo. Anjelica won't give a crap what we say anyway..she knows she's awesome. You won't be reading about it on her blog.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Oh, suck it up, Ashton..



Just go buy another ridiculous house. Seriously, Kutcher you need to live over the Grease Brothers for a year. Then you can bitch. Like you and Demi don't own any other houses. Pffft.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The secret to Jim Boobs hair


The Dugger's revealed the long kept secret of Jim Boobs perfect hair last night. He uses massive quantities of Aquanet in the purple can. I haven't seen that kind of an Aquanet overdose since I was a kid and my Mom went through her French-twist beehive period. Crunchy hair! Aquanet is instant cement. After Jim Boob doses his hair with half a can of the ozone killing spray helmut he carefully smooths any stray hairs, doses his head again and claims the do will last for three days. Michelle says he's too busy to comb his hair, what with 19 kids and all.
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The Dugger parents accidentally visited a head shop in San Fran last night too. Looking through a case of glass bongs, Jim Boob said "That's funny looking glassware, huu?" Michelle agreed. I'm not making fun of them here. I thought they were dildos. It's nice to know these two might have something in common with Hef's Weenersucker twins. Jim Boob says pot smoking hippies are just people inside. Yep. I agree. So are Aquanet addicts and grouchy bloggers.

Hef twins medical mystery tour



The Hef twins, Kristina Weenersucker and Karissa Weenersucker were caught shopping at medical cannabis store in L.A. Maybe reefer is a cure for dumb while leaving your weener sucking abilities intact. That's a miracle right there. Or........maybe the twins can't tell themselves apart and toking helps them kill the emotional pain. Or.....maybe Hef asked them to pick up the paper and they thought he meant Zig Zag. Or...........this could go on for a page. YOU have a go at it.

Ashlee Simpson speaks out about Jessica's weight

From Ashlee's My Space: "Since when did a woman’s weight become newsworthy… I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News ("Jessica Simpson Shocks Fans With Noticeably Fuller Figure".)"
"All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard. Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it. Since when did a woman’s weight become newsworthy… I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News. "

"All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard. Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it."

"How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure? Now can we focus on the things that really matter."-Ash
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I agree with her initial message, but, Jessica is NOT a size two. Maybe that's the real problem, that she thinks she IS a size two. Stop blowing smoke up my ass by throwing out the "2" every time someone calls yells fatty. You're not Jennifer Love Hewitt, but, apparently, y'all wear the same size. Pffft.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

And speaking of Kate..


Ahhh the Gosselin "moving" show. I wondered how in the world Kate Gosselin would justify buying that huge new big bucks property to her fans. How would Kate and Jon cry poor now and get handouts and love offerings? The Queen of Freebies had a plan. Last night she took us on a tour (impressive digs) and started harping on how dirty everything is. OMG, the fridge, she spent 4 hours cleaning the mold. I squinted where she was pointing and failed to see any mold, but, I'm not super mom like Kate. The stables (yes, I said stables) have horse poop and a dead mouse. OMFG, Kate has to clean it all. Obviously the fans are supposed to realize Kate moved into a used house and feel bad for her. Crummy used dirty million dollar plus home! You call that a mansion?? Morons! Poor Kate. It's nothing to envy. You may still send her your hard earned money, because she now has a job. Her job is cleaning the refrigerator! How's that pay, Kate? Pretty good?
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The house is so big Kate keeps losing her 8 kids. She was screaming "Who's pooping? Who needs wiped? If you pooped, call out so I can find you!" So many bathrooms to clean, so many floors. I think losing the kids was the whole point here. It's okay though, Kate made a rule that the kids must poop near them now, so that she can order Jon to go wipe them. That's Jon's job. Don't tell me they don't work. How's that pay, Jon? Pretty good? Forget the fact that the sextuplets are going on 5..they still can't wipe their own ass's and sometimes poop on the floor. Send Jon and Kate some "Love Offerings" please..they need your money more than you do! Don't be one of those bad people who don't know how to help Kate. It's called cash money..send some now.
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And if she can't find which bathroom they're pooping in, how's she going to find them when they fall in the pool? I know..send her money for a full time life guard! Problem solved. Whew! That was a close one.

LA mom has octuplets..

Two physicians who helped in the deliveries said they had planned in advance for the c-section deliveries but were only expecting seven babies. They got six boys and two girls.
“My eyes got to be the size of saucers,” Dr. Karen Maples said when it became obvious there was an eighth child. “We just went on and delivered the babies.”
“The orchestrated delivery went off without a hitch,” added Dr. Harold Henry. “The babies are all doing well and the mom is also doing well. There were no complications from the surgery to the best of my knowledge."
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Great. Another reality show in the making. So when does the medical field get some regulations about the number of fertilized eggs they can place in a uterus??? Women are not meant to carry litters. Notice the doctor said no complications from the surgery..not with the babies. On the other hand...Kate Gosselin..not so special now, are ya bitch?

What???

Snippet from The Daily News..“Brad took off after the awards with a bottle of beer in hand,” says a second eyewitness. “But before he could drive off with it, the beer was taken from him. He was really gracious when his ‘road soda’ was taken, though.”
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There have been some pics floating around lately of Brad hiding beer in his pockets, but, a guy with 6 kids wouldn't try to actually drive with a beer....would they??? I would think at the awards, Brad and Angie would have a driver and a limo. Geez, I'd hope so. He can't be THAT stupid. Can he?

A-Rod thinks Madonna is no fun

Alex Rodriguez spent the weekend with his lovah, Madge at the home of Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld (they live in East Hampton, where else?) and the Sein-snots must have some blabber mouthed help who gossiped to Page Six. The source claims A-Rod had a lousy weekend and was disgusted because Gristle spent the whole time bitching about unflattering photos that were leaked to the internet. The pics were her new album cover shoot..and I'm pretty sure they were the ones I had on here that we were all laughing at. Gristle spent two day bitching and moaning and calling her publicist to scream. I thought Gristle was too busy and important to read anything on the Internet...except GOOP, of course. Gag. Hey, Madge..did you read on the blogs about A-Rod and Kate Hudson? Um hmm. Gristle and Gwyennie might want to add that to their must read list. Hey, I'm just trying to make sure they're well rounded.

The Jolie/Pitt twins

Knox and Vivienne getting on a plane. Look at Knox's matching hat. That's just too cute. I wonder if the twins love packing too? What am I saying? Of course they do..they all love packing.

Hollywood Hills home for Richie and Madden

Nicole and Joel just bought this modest home in the Hollywood Hills, 4 bedrooms, 4 baths. It's not too "in yer face." I'm sure they could have talked her daddy into a huge mansion, but, this is a nice starter home. I almost think Nicole and Joel might be......normal.

Angie talks about her SAG card

Source
Angelina Jolie loves her Screen Actors Guild card and has fond memories of getting it and her mother, Marcheline Bertrand. “My mother was an actress and didn’t get to have a big career, but she was so proud to be a member of SAG and so proud of her card and her union.”
As a young actress starting out, AJ recalls, “I was so happy when I finally got my card!”
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When I was in my twenties I shared a big old house with a bunch of actors and I remember what a huge deal getting your SAG card was. When anyone got one, we always had a party and they screamed and hugged...and cried. A lot. Actors cry a lot. A lot. I don't know who cried more, the boys or the girls. Of course, they also cried and needed hugs when they lost a dance shoe or got a zit before an audition. They'd cry if the wind blew, it messes up your hair, but, if you dared to tell them that's stupid, they'd wave the SAG card in your face.
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Angie also said her kids like to travel and they travel constantly. “Our kids are always packing,” Angelina told ET “They like to pack; it’s a game in our house.”
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She makes it all sound wonderful, but, as former nomadic kid, I can tell you it's not. Maybe it's just awesome if your parents are rich. What do you think?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Snatcher want to babysit the Obama kids

Teri Snatcher has offered her babysitting services to the Obama family. Snatcher: "I end up being the great babysitter at every event I ever go to. They’d come my way and I’d be the babysitter, which would be just fine….If we’re ever so lucky to be invited."
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Let's see..if my choices were, drop my kids off in the middle of the Arctic with a Bowie knife and a pack of matches, OR, leave them with Teri Snatcher? Hmm. Bundle up kids, it's cold up North.

That Dugger wedding

The Duggers oldest kid, Josh got married on TV last night. 20 year old Josh and his bride, Anna had waited until their wedding day to kiss. Anna's dad transfered "authority over her" to Josh and they wrote it into their vows that God would decided how many children they had. Jim Bob had a little birds and bees talk with the kid, but, Josh just wanted to get hitched, get the heck out of there, and make like "leggos." He sang to his bride during the ceremony and I had to flip the channel then..oh, man. Can you say TOOL? I flipped back in time to see the happy married couple checking into the local motel for the big weddin' night. I'm sure Anna had a great time. Cough. And I'm sure she is now pregnant (that's the pay as you play plan.) As for Jim Boob and Michelle, they now have 19 children, if you count Anna...and two of them are not virgins anymore. Big day in Dugger-ville.

Has anyone watched this trash?

Orange County house hos..Gretchen is invited to Tamra's "etiquette" party only to be set up by her friends. While Gretchen's man is dying in the hospital she enjoyed a night of 1000 tequila shots. The girls were out to get her "naked wasted" and make a fool and a liar out of her. She fell for it, but, didn't sleep with Tamra's ugly nasty little son, Ryan. Not for a lack of his trying and begging though. Here Ryan shoots The Shocker..if you don't know what that disgusting gesture means, you can look it up on POTO. Gretchen ended up making a fool of herself, but, not looking so bad compared to her..cough..friends. I'd rather hang out with rabid wolverines than those women.

Jessica..What the hail?


My mom wouldn't even wear those mom jeans. I've been waiting for Jessica Simpson to figure out her real size for years. Here's a clue, Airhead...it has an L in it. If your thighs start to miss their blood supply, you probably need to go up a few.

Lohan girls out shopping


Change your Depends, Blow, looks like you have a load in there.

Mystery of sleepless toddler solved

Remember the heartbreaking story about the boy who couldn't sleep? Doctors have finally diagnosed him with chiari malformation. "His body would give out but his mind wouldn't; he'd still be awake," said Rhett's mom, Shannon Lamb. "He'd still be alert. It was extremely scary."
One of the side effects of Rhett's lack of sleep was bad behavior.
"He was in a bad mood all the time," Lamb said. "He couldn't play, he didn't interact with other children. His frustration level was so high, and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. He couldn't communicate with anyone. It was heartbreaking. He would hit you, he would bite you, he would head butt you and anything else around him, and you didn't know from one minute to the next what was going to happen," she said. Little Rhett has undergone the risky surgery and is doing better now.
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This is the same thing my little Lissa suffers from. She's had the brain surgery three times. If your toddler is difficult to the point of exasperation, it might not be the terrible twos. These poor kids can't sleep, can't communicate it and throw hissy fits of unimaginable violence. It aint bad behavior, people..they need medical help.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

E! needs to fire Giuliana Rancic





E! gave up sending Ryan Seacrest to interview Jolie on the red carpet..it's clear she won't have anything to do with that little wanker. So, they sent Giuliana Rancic to the SAG's and the skank face was trying to get deep with Brad and Angie, asking moronic questions like, what have you learned from Brad Pitt? Then when Brad came up Giuliana was pretending she and Angie were buds, she's all "oh, Angie and I were chatting.."
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For fucks sake E! fire these stupid people. Giuliana Rancid is an anorexic faced skank who's ALWAYS dressed in some goofy bargin bin rag and she looks like she's dirty. I swear, does that chick ever take a bath? Now she's trying to be "deep." You have wanker Ryan, skanker Giuliana and the equally brain dead and fugly, Debbie Matenopoulos. The three of them together aren't as "deep" as Ryans ass. In fact, I think Ryans ass could think of better questions for celebs.

Hey, Joan?

Someone named Joan sent me an email and I accidentally deleted it. So sorry, please send it again. And to everyone else, my stupid MSN mail is so slow today it should just ride the short bus. I can't reply to anyone. Don't they know today's Sunday mail day?? I feel like Mariah Carey at the Inaugural. They just don't have a clue how important Sunday mail is at the Dirty Disher!

Parker and Jesse



Karla's dog Parker and her husband Jesse. I just think these are such amazing photos. Thanks, Karla.

Great photos from Karla


Karla's handsome son, Jacob is just learning how to play and has joined a chess club at school. Those are really nice photos, Karla. Her website is Day Dreams Studios and she has some really nice original art on there. I always like seeing what Karla's up to.

Ever heard of a Scottish Fold?


A new cat showed up here last week, I just noticed him because he's friendly. Casey J. was visiting from KC because she didn't want me to be alone on Eric's birthday (the 23rd)..awww, she's such a thoughtful girl and her visit was a good surprise. Anyhow, she says this cat looks just like a Scottish Fold. So I looked 'em up and he does. Folded over ears, huge round eyes and short nose. She's gonna take her new Scottish Fold home, he's her cat now, and I hope he fits in with the rest of her zoo. Casey named him Camden.
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Shame on people who dump animals..'specially in January. It's still below zero here and it's snowing. You are not nice, you stinking animal dumpers.