Gosselin puppies!!! Don't get attached

Don't even think about getting attached to the two German Shepard puppies the Gosselin's are bringing home in the next episode. They're already gone. Queen Greed made sure of that. Now, why would a mom bring home two darling puppies for her 8 kids to get attached to and then snatch them away? It's called ratings. Even though the kids were promised a dog ages ago, and even though they love animals and even though the Gosselin's now have nearly 30 FREE fenced acres for the dogs to run on.

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Oh, it's so unfortunate but one of her kids is allergic to the puppies. Yep, she's just doing the right thing for her kidletts by finding the dogs a new home. Seems to me I saw many episodes where Kate's former friend, Beth (you know Beth, the Beth who wrote the book Multiple Blessings, the book Kate claims SHE wrote)..and Beth had dogs. Quite fuzzy dogs, if I remember right. And the G kids happily stayed with Beth for days at a time. Gee, you'd think that Kate would have spotted the dog allergy then. But, Kate's a busy gal. She's too busy to know which of Collins eyelids droop, which kids are left handed and which toothbrush is theirs. So don't you dare criticize her! She certainly doesn't need pissing and pooping puppies in her new mansion! When she comes home once a month she needs a little rest. And don't worry about the disgusting puppies...they went to live on a farm. Yes, I realize the irony there. If those annoying G kids are heartbroken, it's their own fault. They should know about the Neilson ratings by now.

Little skank in good party company

Hayden PantyLiner is on the party circuit after her breakup with Milo Ventifucklia. She looks so attractive there, it's the just climbed out of the shower look. She had good bar company, Kim Stewart and the KardashiWore sisters. I'm sure ParAss showed up later, PantyLiner and ParAsshole are old pole dancing buddies. And stupid Sienna Miller says there's no sisterhood in HollyWeird! What a croc. I hope the bartender didn't ID her..she'd have to call the cops on herself.

Octo-Grandad on Oprah

Octo Gramps: “Now I’m no psychiatrist, but I question her mental situation.” Gramps thinks his daughter and her doctor are irresponsible. I think the word he meant to use was totally responsible.
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Then Gramps asked for help. “You know what? She needs help. I say to everybody now ..people.. we do need help,” Ed Doud said. “Do not punish my daughter for what she had done and do not punish the babies, because they were given by God.”
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There you have it. Those children were a gift from God. How about that? It's God that thinks up all this shit. Who are you to question him? I'd say Jesus Fucking Christ! But, somewhere up there the old dude might be aiming a turkey baster at me. God has a weird sense of humor if you ask me.

Nadya shopping at Target

Thifty Nadya Suleman out shopping at Target with, uhh, a fifth of her kids? Yeah, 'bout right. She still can't believe she's a celebrity as they spot the paps. I see a couple of small shoe boxes there, kids need shoes and a brand new Bissell! Good. Now gossips can stop saying she lives in filth and squaller. She has a brand new vacuum cleaner! And in fairness, the pictures I saw of her house were not filth..just clutter. I don't see how she ever gets out of that house with 14 kids. I can barely get to the grocery store with one. Seriously. Anyway, my Nadya Supermom photo collection grows and I think I should write a book. I could save all the pics and write bible scriptures over the photos and call it "Fourteen Little Faces." Bet no one ever thought of that best selling idea! Whatever she's yelling in that last photo ...I'll bet it's not "HELLLLLLLLLLLLO!!!"

Oscar Live Blog

The Dirty Disher will be hosting an Oscar night live blog, by which I mean, I will be hosting an Oscar night live blog here on The Dirty Disher. So don't forget to drop by and say hello...or not. I really don't give a flying fuck.

Angie Should Feel Right At Home...

Danny Boyle says the little filthy Hindu kids who starred in his exploitative Oscar nominated Slumdog Millionaire will be flying to L.A. to attend the ceremony. Great. I hope Danny hooks them up with plenty of hookers and blow. Give them the whole L.A. experience. Then let Angelina go through and pick out a couple to keep. I'm kind of guessing none of them will want to back. Why the hell would you? India is the shithole of shitholes. Except for Bangladesh. And West Virginia.

Good Job TMZ

TMZ has pulled off a major coup by getting their grubby, jizz-moistened hands on that picture of Rihanna with her face all busted up. Congratulations Harvey Levin and all the cool cats over there. You've made a stand on behalf of the people's right to experience the full scope and magnitude of others' suffering. Now if only you could score some pics of that broad after Travis chowed down on her face.

Two Scientology fame whores do a publicity lunch

Leah Remini: "With the help of Scientology my daughter is getting out of diapers and she's only 5! We expect her to be in pull ups by age 8!

J-Lo: "Oh, girlfriend, I know what you're saying! Scientology classes make children genius's!

Lea: "No doubt. My daughter has promised to give up her bottle when she graduates from Scientology high school! And how are your two darlings doing?

J-Lo: "Terrific! The nannies let me see them once a month. They look like their father, but, with some cult reprogramming, we're sure they'll grow out of it."

The President Is Not A Chimp

The New York Post has apologized for running a cartoon that in some people's eyes suggested President Obama is a chimp. I'm sorta doubting there was any racist intent behind the cartoon...but if you work for the Post, don't you have to at least stop and think before running it? Yes I know we have free speech and shouldn't allow ourselves to be intimidated by people like Al Sharpton who want to turn every vaguely questionable statement or representation into a huge shitstorm - but there's such a thing as reality too, and in that reality, you can't really say what you want to say, or show what you want to show. Besides which, is that cartoon even really that clever? Seems silly to risk so much backlash for, at best, a few snickers.

Halle Berry at the Essense of Black Women lunch

That's a lovely dress, Halle. It's too bad the tablecloth got caught in it when you walked away. I hate when that happens. It's worse than toilet paper on your shoe.

Which FREE pool do you like better?

Do you like the FREE pool that came with Kate Gosselin's new mansion, bought with her magic uterus (top) ORRRRRRRR do you prefer the FREE pool OctoPuss is getting with her new mansion bought with her magic uterus?? I think they're both filled with amniotic fluid and I sincerely hope they both gave their kids more than one FREE swim lesson.

OctoMom looks at houses

Nadya is looking a houses to buy and she seems partial to this one. It seems poor old Grandma Suleman failed to pay the mortgage in the house OctoMom was living in for 10 months and they're getting the boot. So Nadya has to find new digs for her and her 14 kids. Nadya has plenty of money to buy that house..no problem. You think NBC didn't pay her for that interview? Oh, they claim they didn't and that they NEVER pay for interviews. True enough, but, they DO pay for video rights. Uhh huu. They pay millions for those. It's right HERE if you care to read up on it.

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Now, if I were OctoMom I'd pay back my mother first, but, I'm sure she knows what she's doing. Oh, and that reminds me..I owe my mom $20 bucks from yesterday. I was window shopping and there was this awesome Topaz ring and it was my size and I was a little short..and anyhow, remind me to pay her back on Saturday. That's another post and as I've said before, if I was half as smart as Nadya, I could have bought the whole jewelry store. Sigh. I sure hope Nadya is still getting welfare too. I'm pretty sure she is. It's only right. I'd rather my tax dollars buy some diapers and vid games for Nadya's 14 kiddies than a solid gold toilet seat for some fat assed lying politician to sit on..and that's the truth.

WTF ing F is that???

Watever the F it is, it's for sale in the Michael Jackson auction and it says Neverland on the top. I've never had a drop of Jesus Juice, Krazy Koolaid or espresso in my life and I have no clue if it involves any of those thing. So YOU tell me, and I expect some clever answers and maybe one truthful one in there some place because I really don't know.

Tidbit

That's an interesting little photo of Lindsay Lohan right there. I think we might be looking at her real hair, which is something I haven't seen in years. She always has that cartoon bombshell mess on her head. I'm a big fan of real hair be it long, short, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty, oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen...well, you know the rest. I wish someone would outlaw extensions.

I Know You're Reading This Lily...

Lily Allen has revealed in an interview that she Googles herself at least 10 times a day. She says the gossip about her only bothers her when it's not true. Oh yeah? Lying bugs you Lily? Well, then maybe you shouldn't have lied about being pregnant and then covered up that lie by saying you had a miscarriage and then lied more by saying you went into rehab after the miscarriage. There were pictures of you walking around laughing your little head off about two days after the alleged miscarriage...pretty short rehab stint. Everything about you is phony. I wish you would die of an overdose. I really hope you hit this post when you Google yourself later you worthless bitch.

Zahara's Gonna Be Jealous

Brad took Pax and Maddox for a boys' day out in Vegas. TMZ says the trip included In-N-Out burger and Wii at the hotel. No one can accuse Brad and Angie of having weird tastes when it comes to the kids. It's Chuck E. Cheese and video games and Fritos all the way. None of that high-falutin' healthy shit.

Pam Anderson models for fashion week

Now, THAT'S how you walk a fashion runway, bitches. With style, class and decorum. Is it just me, or is she gaining a little weight in the vaginal area? That's okay, she can write a vagina diet book.

There's a real Peach

I had to check out Peaches Geldof's tattoos a little closer. Oh, lovely. Her daddy's rich and that's the best she could do? When was she in prison? And was her cellmate a retarded epileptic who had art seizures? Obviously, I'm jealous. I don't have a strangled cartoon unicorn, I have no class at all.

Jon Gosselin minus the shrew from hell

Jon Gosselin has friends! I'll bet there's a new drinking game called "Find Jon's Balls!" Good luck with that. He's rad, don't ya know, he can hang! Bitchy wife? What bitchy wife? Oh, that cunt that tricked you into having 6 extra kids and ruined your life. That bitchy wife. I'll drink to that Jon. HA HA HA...stole that pic from Moon, my fav Gosselin blogger.

Nadya Suleman with two nannies

Nadya was photo'd with two nannies and everyone is upset. Pipe down! Nadya's not spending her welfare money on nanny service, she gets free nannies. I checked it out, it's right HERE.

Nadya spends her welfare money on things she really needs like video games, manicures and $15 dollar lip gloss. I admire her so much! I have to buy my crummy lip gloss at the Dollah Store and yesterday I ran out and had to borrow Lissa's. It came in a tiny plastic guitar and was called Pink Dolly Bubble. It worked, thanks, Lis! I wish I was as smart as OctoPuss, then I'd have real lip gloss.

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See that kid in the bottom photo? That's Nadya's older daughter. The kid was interviewed and ask if 8 new babies would be fun. She said "NO. Mom will be stressed out all the time!" Poor little girl, she's so cute and looks normal, but, she must be special ed if she thinks only 14 kids will stress out my hero Nadya Suleman! She's super mom!

Throw down at the Oscars!!!!

Finally! After four years of waiting my dreams come true. Angie and Jen will meet on the red carpet, Jen will call Angie a husband stealing whore and Angie will give her a cold laugh..then Jen will jump on her designer clad back and ride Angie like a rodeo! They will punch, bite, kick and throw down like Chris Brown and Rihanna on crack! Finally, exhausted and bleeding from every orifice the two women will lock eyes and realize they have an attraction that's paranormal and explosive, they will lock lips, shove their tongues in each others throat and scissor leg and dry hump. Brad will get so jealous he drops his pants to moon John Mayer and John will jump on him and hump for dear life. Soon Angie and Jen disappear together and come out of hiding a year later with 13 adopted kids of their own and 72 tattoos professing their undying love. Brad and John start a gay comedy blog where they tuck their weeners and wear paper bags over their heads. Yep, you KNOW that's what's gonna happen.

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John Mayer: "I’ll give you the scoop. I’m going to the Oscars. It’s my first Oscars. And it’s my first being an Oscar boyfriend."

PFFFFFFT...that's what you think John. Angie has other plans.

What happened to David's eye?

What happened to David Arquette's eye there? My guess is that he had the audacity to take down the life size naked GQ Jennifer Aniston poster over their bed and Cox came home and punched him.

Longwhoria's......purse????

This is Eva LongWhoria at an airport. My eyes went immediately to her bag, because that's where my mind always goes. Shoes and bags, shoes and bags. Even if some one's naked I'm looking at the shoes and bags first. So, I'm thinking, that HAS to be luggage. She's in an airport, right? But, then I tracked down more of these photos and I see her getting her lackeys to pick up her luggage. So, I was hoping that thing was a carry on, but, she didn't stow it and has no other hand bag.
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I know this is turning into a rant...it can't be helped. Stay with me here. There has been an influx of shit ugly hand bags lately. They have old lady handles and can't be shouldered. Most of them say LV or LV Paris. Madonna and ParAss Hilton have the exact same fug bag lately. It's fucking with my head. Now the fug things are getting bigger...and bigger. Pretty soon celebs will have to hire someone just to carry their purse. I refuse to participate in this fuckery..despite the fact that I'm a sucker for patent and hot hardware. That thing of Eva's looks like the OctoMoms diaper bag! I'll bet she has at least one Olsen twin in there. The only thing fuglier is gladiator sandals. Or gladiator sandals on an Olsen twin.

The Tiger Woods family

That's Tiger's new son, Charlie Axel and his wife, Elin, and daughter, Sam. I don't follow golf. I'd rather be set on fire than know anything about golf, but, his kids sure are cute.

Where's Travis The Chimp When You Need Him?

Snakes and lizards...that's kid's stuff. Where are the chimps? Come on Bindi - show some guts you little...whatever.

Katy Perry is beautious

Katy Perry is a style icon! What? You don't think so? That is two strips of bacon holding up two fried eggs slathered in catsup! And that is called breakfast! And breakfast is the most important meal of the day and a beautiful thing! Jealous haters!

Angie buying the kids art supplies

Look! It's Nadya Suleman out with her kids! No, wait, that's Angelina. You know how I can tell? Nadya doesn't have a cute adorable little blond tot who looks like Brad Pitt. She probably will by next year though. Anyhow, you don't get good pics of Shiloh every day, and I'm a big Shiloh fan. Awww, she's a doll.

GQ most stylish men include JT

Justin TimberTard is one of the worlds male style icons. Really? Most of the time he looks like an old man who lives on the golf course in plaid bermuda shorts and a stocking hat. Here he looks like PeeWee Herman on a bad day. In fact, PeeWee is looking much better. PeeWee's bringing sexy back.
I love you PeeWee..you're on DD's hot list. JT, don't call me, I'll call you.

The MJ Auction

Michael Jacksons Neverland collections are being auctioned off in April, and how I wish I could be there! Who doesn't want a painting of MJ as a royal black man! I'm a fan of fantasy art. The glove is covered with genuine Swarovski crystals. And I'd like to point out that I have that same PacMan machine. It's out in my shed covered with a garbage bag. I also have Asteroids and Frogger, original models with built in seating. I'd gladly trade all three for that fortune telling machine! It would make my job so much easier. Any takers?

Mickey Rourke's constant companion passes away

There have been 1,000's of photos of Mickey Rourke and his little dog, Loki. Mickey took Loki everywhere he went and Loki has met more celebrities then TMZ. Now, 18 year old Loki has passed away and I feel really bad for Mickey. There's a special place in my heart for a man who can love a little yapper dog. The enormity of a dogs heart and unconditional love cannot be measured by their size. Rest in peace, Loki. Mickey once said "Sometimes when a man's alone, that's all you got ... is your dog." Awwwww, I hope his grief eases and he finds another sweet dog to keep him company.

Travis The Chimp 911 Tape (Highly Disturbing)

This is what it sounds like when a crazy old lady calls 911 because her pet celebrity chimp just tore her friend's face off. Nothing I ever wanted to hear but, too late now.

Hayden Panettiere...Angry Lesbian?

Hayden Panettiere has broken up with Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia, and I think I know why: He doesn't have a vagina. I guess Hayden figured if she was going to go lesbo she might as well go all the way with it. Announce it to the world. Leave no doubt in our minds. This girl is dyke catnip I'm tellin' ya. They'll be all over that. Congrats on your new life Pantyliner...hope it works out for you.

Jen A jon still lovey dovey

Aniston and Mayer share some tongue before heading off to a romantic get away in the Bahamas. There's been rumors of him cheating and her seeing another guy. I don't believe it, he's learned his lesson. I so called this. She's going to have his baby. Well, not right this minute, but, you just wait! And he IS hot, even though he has a big mouth.

Bristol Wants To Fuck, And Can't Nobody Stop Her

Bristol Palin is not going along with the program when it comes to her mother advocating abstinence for teens. It's "not realistic at all" to expect kiddies not to be hosing each other like rabbits, Bristol told that hag Greta Van Susteren on FoxNews. Bristol then said it was her own decision to not have an abortion after she found out she was pregnant from Levi's (or somebody's) love ick getting all up inside her. Hear that Sarah? Bristol's her own woman. She's gonna fuck all she wants and not have abortions all she wants. Up your cunt wolf murderer.

Chimpanzees Are Not Good Pets

55-year-old Charla Nash is in critical condition after her friend's pet chimpanzee Travis, who used to star in TV commercials before he became old and ornery, went quite literally apeshit on her. Police say the chimp's owner, 70-year-old Sandra Herold, called Nash to help her after Travis used a key to let himself out of Herold's Stamford, Connecticut house. Clearly not enthused with the idea of being recaptured, Travis savagely attacked Nash, biting her face and hands all to shit. Herold attempted to stop Travis by stabbing him and whacking him with a shovel, but all this did was piss him off more. When the cops at last arrived, Travis turned his wrath upon them, attacking two officers and attempting to enter a police cruiser to make his getaway. This was when the cops opened fire on Travis, ending his melee in a hail of bullets. It has since come out that Travis was suffering from lyme disease. Sure...make excuses for the chimp. Why can't we just face the fact that chimps are vile little creatures who should be left out in the jungle where they belong? They're not pets. They're not cute or funny in any way, especially when they're trained to act like little humans. Anyone who voluntarily lives with one of those fuckers is just stupid and crazy.

Bridget's Valentine shoes

Bridget got a lolipop, a teddy bear and a little somethin' from her very cute boy friend for Valentines day..but, look at her shoes! Do men design these things? Yeah, men design these things. Do they think we're so crippled up from wearing their shitty shoes that our feet actually are shaped like two points? If you buy the shoes to fit the width of your toes then there's a pointy flap sticking out. Stupid men shoe designers! I aint buying your crap! You stupid! Asswipes!

The truth about the Gosselins marriage

Apparently Queen Kate lost it on some reporter who was trying to do a story on her and Jon..you know, one of those phony baloney "how do you keep the love alive" shit things we all hear about them. Kate went ballistic on the guy, treated Jon like crap (what's new, right?) and her publicist had to step in and try to make her sound sane. The publicist redirected the conversation to the vow renewal in Hawaii. Remember that phony ceremony where they got a free trip and talked a bunch of shit while hating each other? Kate went off "I'm so sick of talking about Hawaii! It was really nice, but it's over and we just keep re-hashing it."
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Then....silence. They interviewer tried again, in an attempt to get anything but bitchiness. Finally, Kate snapped, "This is stupid!! I don't know why you're doing this story. We're not romantic or lovey. We're not that couple."
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Excuse me while I piss myself laughing. HERE is the source. When will the world realize Moron Jon and White Trash Kate despise each other and dream of ways to off the other one? Hell, these two bitches don't even live together anymore. Seperate mansions bought by naked children. It's the American dream.