Matilda Ledger is getting big

Michelle Williams, getting coffee, carrying Matilda because the paps were crushing them. Matilda is getting too big for her mom to carry, soon she won't be able to. She ended up having to pack the kid all the way home because of the paps, which is ridiculous. Part of me thinks those idiots are out of hand, but, part of me wonders why Michelle just can't buy a coffee pot to avoid this once in awhile. Matilda was quoted here "What's the problem? Do you want them (points) to take your picture?" It's a crazy world, eh, Matilda?

Jennifer Aniston's boy friend looking hot

There's no reason for this picture of John Mayer, I just liked it. He looks good there. Jen Aniston says she's over Brad Pitt. Got it? Okay, what's she going to talk about now, her diet?

Peter Tork fighting rare cancer

The cutest of the Monkee's was Peter Tork, not Davy Jones, I don't care what Marcia Brady said, and Peter is now fighting a rare form of cancer. He had surgery on Wednesday and is having radiation.

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source

Tork, 67, said he has a slow-growing form of head and neck cancer, Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma. Although it is most frequently found in the salivary glands, Tork's cancer was discovered on the lower region of the tongue."It's a bad news, good news situation," Tork says. "It's so rare a combination (on the tongue) that there isn't a lot of experience among the medical community about this particular combination. On the other hand, the type of cancer it is, never mind the location, is somewhat well known, and the prognosis, I'm told, is good."

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I hope it's very good. Peter says he's very grateful for the support of his fans. Count me in. I still love you, Peter Tork! Get well soon.

Congrats? Err...

Shanna Moakler told US Weekly that she plans to marry Travis Barker..again. Whut??? I couldn't type that fast enough. Are you kidding me? Uhhh, does Travis know? Maybe he got brain damaged in that airplane crash. Shanna says "We would like to renew our vows and have another wedding. It's not so much about the wedding but about having a celebration of each other and getting through all the crazy things we've been through. When you almost lose a loved one, it makes you appreciate things you took for granted."

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Yeah, that IS her divorce cake. They're both nuts. Is ParAsshole Hilton going to be her maid of honor? Heh.

Say no to the plastic belt, Michelle

I'm glad she wears her clothes more than once, but, ick on that tacky plastic belt. It's time to give that thing a rest..she should send it to Shauna Sands. It would match those gawd awful lucite heels she's always seen in.

Pam does the Viv Westwood runway

Gee, I just don't know which one I want most..Pam's dented nipple and plastic surgery scars or that "Look, I'm having my period and my vagina sprouted wings" dress, worn with black and lime green knee socks. Oh, if only I was rich so I could get both! I'd be so classy. Sigh.

Zac Efron, every womans fantasy...right

source
His 17 Again costar Leslie Mann, 36, tells the mag of Zac, 21, “It was hard not to be a lady cougar around him. One day during rehearsals, I was leaving, and Zac said, ‘What’s your phone number so I can call your daughter on her birthday.’ I gave it to him, and he turned to the director and said, ‘See, I told you I would get it.’ (laughs) He’s such a woman’s fantasy, especially for someone with an Oedipus complex.”
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Ewww. That doesn't make him sound clever or sexy, it makes him sound cocky and assholey. I threw up in my mouth a little. I hope the number she slipped him was to the local dog pound.

Nadya Suleman giving birth...

..according to Jimmy Kimmel, the perpetual adolescent. This guy has gotten more play out of the Octuplets than OctoMom. Moderately amusing.

Dad Brad with the girls in Washington

Brad's going to fix the world, but, first he takes his daughters to a toy store. Thos are really cute pics, 'specially the one of Shiloh. Aww, in their little shades! And yep, I see Zahara got her sweater back.

Brad's having a meeting with President Obama to talk about aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. And Brad and Angie's project there, the Make it Right foundation with green housing.

It just keeps gettin' better for ol' Jon Boy

Excuse me while I .......LMFAOOOOOOO!

Whut?

I think that's the first time O's shared the cover, except with her dogs. How come Oprah and Michelle have the same size waists there? Hmm..I smell photo fuckery. It's smells like pancakes with maple syrup and money.

Juliette and The Licks are done..

It's Juliette Lewis and The New Romantiques now, in case you were standing in line waiting for The Licks. Licking is now overrated. Juliette says of her new band: "The guitars are more wild and atmospheric. The groove is dark and deep and allow for a lot of sonic contrasts."
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Yep. She really likes those guitars, huu?

RIP, doggie..wait it's back..nope..

Michael Jackson's bestest friend, Elizabeth Taylor's little Maltese dog, Sugar passed away. Liz got another little dog that looked identical to Sugar and named her Daisy. But, Daisy pissed Liz off because she wouldn't sit in her lap all day like Sugar. So, Liz gave Daisy away and got ANOTHER identical dog she named...uhh......Daisy. Are you confused? Well, don't be 'cause when Elizabeth finally kicks off, Daisy is going to replace her with another rich old lady, dripping diamonds, who pushes her around in a wheel chair all day..and she's going to name her Liz. Or maybe Debbie.

Bouncie, still full of herself

The Sun...The R&B star, 27, said the US President’s wife — mum to Malia, ten, and Sasha, seven — approached her the day before she sang at one of the inauguration balls.
Stunned Beyonce revealed: “She told me that she was very happy that her children had an artist like myself and — I don’t even feel right saying this - she said she was happy they had me to look up to.”
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Yeah, right, Bouncie. Are you sure she didn't say.........nothing. Like the rest of us...because we ignore your ignorant ass as much as we can. Surely "an artist, such as yourself" can appreciate that. When Malia and Sasha show up for elementary school dressed like an overstuffed fish tailed Oscar, I'll believe you.

Just how stupid is Jon Gosselin?

Jon Gosselin gossip continues as his reps and his mother try to undo the damage to his "perfect Dad" image after pictures of him partying with coeds popped up all over the net. You can read more HERE. Ohhhh, Jon Boy, are you gonna get bitch slapped..lmfaooo. This explains a recent kid question on the moving episodes..."Mommy, you frow Daddy's cwothes out? Huu, Mommy?" Reply..GO PLAY! NOW!

The real Katie vs the movie Katie

What's scarier, Katie beaded up for work or real life Katie? You know what? It doesn't matter because if you worship Mrs. Tom Cruise, you're about to do something really fucked up to your hair.

Who changes their outfit AT the party?

ParAsshole going into Whitney Port's birthday party, staring at Doug Reinhardt's ass. In her Super Girl costume. And ParAsshole leaving the same party in a different outfit, right down to the shoes, sucking tongue with Doug Reinhardt..and making sure the paps get close up of the upchucking ordeal. Who does that??? Oh. I forgot we were talking about ParAsshole, the same chick who just ordered $200,000 worth of diamonds to stud the dashboard of her pepto pink Bentley. The same girl who gives homeless kids her old spooge covered My Little Pony's for Christmas. ParASSHOLE.

Zac Efron are you being sexual??

Zac (to Elle), “It was Hallows Eve like, two years ago. It was just a costume store in the back they have an adult section for adult costumes. And this nice older woman asked for a photo. My mom is like, ‘Zac, what did you buy in a sex shop?’ I was like ‘Mom, calm down, it’s not a sex shop.’ She wouldn’t have any of it. She’s like, ‘I knew you were being sexual!’ But she (Starla) understood. My stocking was full of condoms this Christmas. She buys me the economy box.”

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Hallow's Eve? And, Zac "being sexual?" What friggin' planet does this kid come from? Haven't him and his little bush shower been shacking up for ages? I don't think he needs condoms. I think he needs an anal probe. Hey, that's what plastic aliens do, everybody knows that.

Victoria at LAX

Posh has become a cartoon. She went from robot to expensive cartoon. And now I'll get someone on here saying, I don't know, DD, I think her hat is kind of cute and I'd wear it with..SHUT THE FUCK UP. You're never wearing any of this crazy ass kabillion dollar cartoon crap. And neither am I.

Congrats, you two lovebirds!

Yep, what crabbie said below. Just thought I'd add this. Do you think her wedding dress was black and blue?

Chris Brown Faces Two Felony Charges

Chris Brown is scheduled to be arraigned today in an L.A. courtroom at 3:30 Pacific. The DA has decided to charge him with two counts: assault and making criminal threats, both felonies. Detective notes obtained by TMZ lay out the full extent of Brown's attack on Rihanna:

According to the notes, Rihanna read a three-page text message on Brown's phone from a woman. An argument ensued and Brown allegedly tried forcing Rihanna out of the car but couldn't because she was wearing her seat belt.

Brown then allegedly shoved Rihanna's head against the passenger window. When Rihanna turned to face him, Brown punched her, then continued punching her while driving, according to the detective's notes.

Blood spattered all over Rihanna's clothing and in the interior of the car. Her mouth was filled with blood.

Brown allegedly told Rihanna, "I'm going to beat the **** out of you when we get home. You wait and see."

Rihanna called her assistant and left a message saying, "I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there."

Brown then replied, "You just did the stupidest thing ever. I'm going to kill you."

According to the report, Brown continued to punch Rihanna, bit her on her ear, her fingers and put her in a headlock -- she almost lost consciousness.

Rihanna will not testify against Brown, possibly because he is now her husband. Thank goodness Diddy was able to broker peace between the two - wouldn't want to see a nice young couple like that lose their chance at happiness.

Lohan starting a fued with Mrs. Tom Cruise?

According to gossips, Lindsay is seriously pissed because she dressed up as Madonna for a Glamour shoot and they put Katie on the cover. The Blow thought SHE was going to be the cover and then ended up inside with other nobodies, dressed up stupid, like PantyLiner and some other little "stars." Lindsay thinks he's relevant because she also dressed as Marilyn Monroe once and some asshole made that a big deal. I think they're all too stupid to pour piss out of a boot and if I wanted a picture of Gristle, I'd go Google one. We'll hear what Katie says about all this as soon as Tom tells her what to say.

Reese on young motherhood

Reese Witherspoon (to Elle magazine) on being a young mother: “When I first had Ava, I couldn’t afford help. And it was so hard. I was out in Los Angeles, living away from my family. I really didn’t have any friends. And I had a baby. No one else who was 22 had a baby. I couldn’t go out.”
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Okay, I can't hate on Reese, but, that's not exactly true. Come on! I remember when she was pregnant and she was making the talk show circuit, shilling a movie, in designer duds. I guess you have to tell these magazine fuckers something, all I'm saying is, that's just not quite right. It's not like she came from poverty either, if you read up on her, you'll know what I'm sayin'. It's just more celebrity bullshit. She makes it sound like the food stamps were lost in the mail and the trailer house leaked. I think she got herself confused with Loretta for a second there.

Michael Lohan has a message for Lily

Michael Lohan left a message for Lily Allen. ML: "You have an alcohol problem that needs to be addressed." Lily basically told him to fuck off then went and got drunk ate ate some ribs in bed or something. Who the fuck does Michael Lohan think he is anyhow? He can't even fix his own fucked up daughter who'd rather live with a lesbian DJ and a pile of cut crank than talk to his stupid ass. As for Lily..anyone who eats ribs in bed has never done their own laundry. That, I'm damn sure of.

Hey, Jon Gosselin, did you have a coupon for that piece of ass?

So, crabbie and I were yaking yesterday and he says "Jon Gosselin is the number 1 Google search today, wtf did he do, jump off a cliff? And I said no, he cheated on Kate and we called that here a looooooong time ago, didn't we Jon boy? According to The Star Jon's been slipping away from the old ball and chain and the kiddies to "party the night away with a bevy of college cuties!" The Illustrious Star promises more gossip today.

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But, we had an anon poster on here who claimed to know Jons little goings-ons and his girl (s?) on the side. I ignored it, but.......I read it. Heh. Witness at the bar, “He was acting like a drunk, girl-chasing frat boy,” one team member tells Star. “It really disturbed me. On the show he is so nice, but here, he was acting like an idiot.”

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“He was dirty dancing with several girls from the volleyball team, making out, kissing them on their necks and mouths,” says a witness in the bar.
“He was all over one girl, a long-haired blonde who’s nearly 6 feet tall. He left with several of the girls, including her.”

Gosselin reps say it aint so. They released some bla bla about the Gosslein's perfect marriage and true love. Yeah, they don't watch the show, I guess. Because if THAT'S true love, then I'm carrying a litter. Other tidbits of random Gosselin gossip have him drunkenly saying "I'm divorcin' her ass." He spent Valentines day with someone..but it wasn't Kate. Little fucker better watch out or she'll toss his organic pudding. And not in the good way, like some 6 foot blonde college girl...without 8 annoying children and a porcupines ass on her head.

Comments out of hand

I'm not your goddamn referee in your little wanking Internet fights. I had to delete a perfectly good post because the comments were out of hand. It's okay by me if you want to insult each other, but, I've told you before I won't put up with that impersonating another poster bullshit and it gets way out of hand when you start threatening someone or recommending suicide. Be somewhat of an adult, will ya? Honestly! If I did nothing but post my first lame thought about some of these celebs, all this place would be is pictures with the word "cunt" under them. I try and put some minimal brain power into it, Jeez Louise. Give me a fucking break. I have a headache now, thanks. This is a place where I express myself and I look forward to the comments. No one could like their comments section more than me. Hell, I don't even get paid per click. Keep it halfway decent..that's all I'm saying. Jebus..where are my pills? What's the going rate for babysitters these days?

Little BMW out with his parents

Pete wrote a lullaby for Bronx, it's a hidden track on his new album. They're an odd, but, cute little family, eh?

Mz. Lopez weell keep de jewelz

Jennifer Lopez borrowed $50,000 worth of jewelry to wear to some fashion line launch. You can read it HERE. Anyhow, everyone borrowed jewelry including Gwen Stefani, but, they all gave it back. Jen had her people call up Robert Mouawad's people (the owner of the diamonds) and tell them Ms. Lopez would be keeping hers. Robert Mouawad's people say he would not fret over a mere 50 grand and Ms. Lopez's endorsement is "priceless."
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Oh, come on! Why am I picturing the Latino Mafia? Meeeez Lopez, weell, how you say? Be keeping da joolz. Sank you vedy mooch. Haba nize day. (Tips hat, puts away machine gun, and exits.) Can she really do that? I guess she can. Hmfff.

The Queen Of Boring Has A New King...

Rachel McAdams has found a new man to suck all the life out of: Josh Lucas, who used to suck on Salma Hayek's titties but is now reduced to shopping in the Hollywood hottie bargain bin. What, Blake Lively was taken?

Am I the only one who thinks Josh looks alarmingly like Al Bundy?

Britney's circus

They're just one big happy travelin' family, y'all. There's no way this could go wrong.

P Diddy..P pooped

I'd just like to point out that Diddy didn't make it through the 36 non stop hours of tantric sex he promised his fans he'd blog through. He got tired after 10 hours and quit, twittering that his dick hurt and he was exhausted. Exhausted? Who's he think he is, Kate Gosselin? Really, Diddy, what a disappointment, you've ruined all our fantasies.

Yawn

Lauren Conrad wrote a book. It's about a really boring chick who moves to Hollywood and gets a reality show. But, it's not about her because that would be, like, weird. Ho hum.

Emma Roberts is deep

Young Emma wants to do smaller, edgier films that show her skills as a real actress. She no longer wants to be thought of as just Julia Roberts niece.
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Well, you are, so shut up. I'll hold my breath wating for your Oscar.

Great publicity for a Juicy Fruit

Rihanna's blood spattered next to Chris Brown's ashtray filled with Juicy Fruit gum wrappers. Brown sings in the Juicy Fruit commercials, which the company pulled. What? Juicy Fruit don't want them no Chris Brown? That's okay...RiRi does. He has two fists, right, RiRi? Double your pleasure, double your fun..

Empower yourself wih Reese Witherspoon and Avon

Reese unveiled the Avon Women’s Empowerment Necklace. Are you kidding me with this fucking junk? Let me go twist a paper clip into something cool. I find it empowering.