I know crazy when I see it

I know crazy..I tell you I do. I've lived a long time and had some pretty strange encounters. I won't tell you all of them, this post will be long enough as it is. But, I will tell you I had a friend who was so strung out crazy she thought she was Satan and I used to get collect calls from Satan. I personally put her in 6 different mental facilities and she talked nice and was released the next day every time. She has since recovered. I also have a brother who once bought 27 extension cords so he could saw down the neighbors door with an electric saw (and he did). He was going for the guys head. The neighbor was just as crazy and ended up on the roof screaming that you can't kill Santa Claus and that he had a bomb. They were both taken to the nut hut for eval and released the next day. The neighbor has since died of old age and goofy-ness (though that's a personal diagnosis) and my brother is on meds now and OCD, but, mellow.

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So, see? I know crazy. There's different kinds of crazy. Most of my encounters with true crazy are the decent kind. The irritating, amusing, "you aint really gonna do shit" kind. The kind that annoy you, but, make good humorous stories later. Now we get to what happened Friday morning.

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Sigh. Six weeks ago a bunch moved into the empty apartment downstairs from me and I dubbed them "The Grease Brothers." I call them that because they are greasy and all they do is cook meat. They cook meat constantly..they cook game meat, store bought meat and any kind of meat they can find or shoot. The problem is the way they cook it. Filthy people cook in filthy ways. My apartment fills up with grease smells and they nearly asphyxiate the whole building. I've lived with my windows open even through the ice storm. They actually make MY smoke alarms bleet. Once they tried lighting a charcoal grill in the hallway and nearly killed us all before they drug it, flaming, out into the snow. I don't even know how many of them there are..a lot. At least six. They dress like they're always going hunting and look like they've been wearing the same clothes for years. AND, they look scary..it's like living above Ed Gein. I picture the place decorated in human skin lampshades.

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They are usually quiet. Too quiet. They do not own a TV, radio, stereo and I'm sure they don't read. They do not talk to each other or anyone else. They cook meat. That's what they do. I can live with that even though it's gross and the management has promised me they will check our vent system as soon as the weather clears. Okay. But, Friday morning I found out they are not mutes.

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I was blogging away when all Hell erupted down there directly below me. One of the Grease Bros was screaming in a deep scary voice "WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOO!" "YOU FUCKING SLOOOOB!" over and over. No biggie, right? Personally I find a good morning cuss a great way to relieve stress and start the day. But then this female voice starts crying and I can't hear what she says but she sounds like she's begging not to die. This goes on for 10 minutes. I ignore them. Then the beating starts..I don't know if he was throwing her or furniture, but, the walls started shaking, my picture frames fell over and my cable connection blinked out. I could still hear her begging and crying so I knew she was alive..then it started again...worse. The lamp fell over on my desk. I hear another huge crash and he says he's going to burn the building down. I phoned the police which around here is known as..callin' the law, and it has to be real bad before you "call the law."

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So the cops show up 10 minutes later and it's still going on, by now it's spilled out into the hallway and I hear the door being smashed to bits. I'm shaking and scared shitless..I don't even mind telling you that. I was flat out scared. This is not good crazy..this is BAD crazy. I'd told the cops on the phone how scared I am and please don't let them know who called. So what do they do? They ignore the fight and hightail their ass's right up here in front of The Grease's. Goddamn I was pissed. They finally take Crazy Grease and the old man Grease outside and talk to them. Seems they all know each other.

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So Crazy Grease gets hauled off..but, guess what? A half hour later, he's back. I was talking to crabbie and I said, how the fuck does someone who shoots rodents in the yard for food make bail in 30 minutes??? There was no bail..he was not arrested, just talked to as they drove him around like it was a cruise down the main drag.

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The Old Man Grease threatened to move out and they fought in the hall about who got custody of the empty beer and soda cans. Crazy Grease spent the rest of the morning crying "WHY MEEEEEEE?" while he banged his fist or maybe his head against the wall, but, no one died. This time. Oh, I forgot, during the ordeal Crazy Grease threw their filthy sofa out in the snow. That's not the real pic, but, it's close. I was afraid to go out and get a pic. His was a hide a bed, an old one, and if you've ever had one you know it takes several guys to move them, they're so heavy. Crazy Grease did it by himself and carried it like a sack of beans. I wish they had a sack of beans, maybe they'd lay off the meat for a day.

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My whole point here, besides recording this for future FBI evidence after the future murder, is..I know crazy. This is BAD crazy, someone's going to be hurt or killed and it's not going to be me or mine. I've seen it before. The title of this post says it all.