Life lessons with shopping

You asked what I got when I went shopping with my Aunt. I got just what I bargained for. Oh, I bought tons of stuff, according to the rules it all had to be spent on fun shopping. I bought a new optical mouse, a nice one, two phones, a stainless mod teakettle, a handbag, earrings and necklaces, 6 bras (good ones), a pedi set, printer ink, bathrobe, a blouse, a golf set for the kid, a lamp, a rug, movies, a bunch of junk too. It was awesome. Here's the deal..
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This old lady had ulterior motives. I knew what they were from the getgo. She even started not preaching Jesus in the car to distract me. You know, like, "I'm not going to preach to you, honey, because Jesus was real and you're bright enough to know that." Bla dee bla..I smirked because we both knew this trip wasn't about her concern over my immortal soul. Besides, I'd just spelled the day before for a little spending cash, and here's this old lady dropping hundred dollar bills like they're used tissues. So if she wanted confirmation of a higher power from me, she was shit out of luck. Her distraction technique is flawless to the less dubious, but, a waste of time on me.

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Finally, she got around to the real deal..she loves gambling, she needs a gambling partner who drives. Auntie is around 90 and she wants to have fun before she croaks and she has cash. She started asking me if I thought Jesus would be against gambling. I told her I thought young Jesus played games in the temples with those old dudes. Like I give a fuck what Jesus thinks anyhow, but, I think I read that in her "good" book that time I tried to read it and got pissed over all the begatting and begotting and begetting. Moses and Noah were busy frickers, weren't they? Anyway, if Jesus approves of gambling then my Aunt is one happy old woman. And if he doesn't, she'll make it right with him later. It's called tipping.

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So, after buying my company because I am obviously a big ho (a big Pagan ho)..she lays it out. I can take her to "The Boat" and I will be well paid. We can also fly to Vegas and I will be well paid. She knows I hate gambling and casinos, they bore the crap out of me. She pays people to like her. My problem is, I DO like her (sort of, sometimes), she's devious and cunning and manipulative and smart..and fun to figure out. But, if I go gambling, it will be for the money. I don't think I can put up with the boredom. But, never say never, right? Go ahead, tell me you wouldn't do it, because YOU have morals and scruples. I'll bet if I explained to her how I need a new laptop to blog from Vegas..okay, enough. My brain hurts.