"I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You." Aaarrrrrgggh.
Fri Oct 10, 2:00 AM ET
DEAR MARGO: I am a 23-year-old woman who is dating a 47-year-old man. Age never has been an issue with us. We get along wonderfully and share so many things. About three months into our relationship (we've been together for one and a half years) I told him I was in love with him. He said he "loved me, but would never be in love with me." He has been hurt in the past and still feels bitter about his last girlfriend, a woman he describes as a "manipulative user." I feel at this point he is "in love" with me but doesn't want to admit it to himself. Is it too much for me to expect to hear the words from his mouth? Or should I just leave it alone?
--- OUT OF MY MIND
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DEAR OUT: Honey, you are wasting your time. I am so tired of the dodge "I love you, but I am not in love with you" I could scream. That is such a crock. What it means, in plain English, is that you are not his heart's desire, but he's happy to kill time with you ... in the sack. I would tell him to take a hike and send him off with the hope that at some point he can distinguish the "manipulative users" from the women of worth. You are too young to cling to a bitter, middle-aged man whose fears have immobilized him.
--- MARGO, DISMISSIVELY
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Yep, but, she needed to add that people who say "I love you, but, I'm not in love with you" have a hard time distinguishing manipulative users because that's exactly what THEY are. I just thought this was...interesting. I'll bet there's one of you out there, somewhere, who needs to hear this.
9 comments:
EVERY woman should own a copy of " He's just not that into you"
Best. Book. Ever.
Think of how many times women have made an excuse for why a man didnt't do or say something.
UGH!
Wish it would have come out in my teens/early 20s, i wouldn't have dated so many assholes!
Omg i hear ya ginger & "he's just not that into you" - great book a must read for any woman.
That is so weird. I read this, too, earlier in the day and had the same thought.
I have never read "He's Just Not That Into You" but I wish someone would have slapped me while shouting it aloud when I was in my 20's!
LMAO @ kissannie's comment!
ME TOO!
I keep a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" at work for my clients. Girls and women desperatly need to read that book. Women should think better of themselves than they do, that's for damn sure.
I read Margo's advice whenever I see it on my MSN Homepage. It's pretty good. But I always wonder how long before the reader actually gets the advice? Like how old was the 23 year old by the time her letter was read & advice dispensed? She was probably married with kids by then!
I need to read "HJNTIY" so I can beat it into my daughter!!! She just doesn't get it. DD you are sooo right, women keep themselves down sometimes, esp when it comes to a man!
If a woman lets anyone treat her like she's not good enough, then she won't be. Ever.
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