Sunday, January 4, 2009

Conversation with my computer (Hal)

Me: La la la..

Computer: Your virtual memory is too low.

Me: Bullshit. I only have three windows open. Ha!

Computer: Your virtual memory is too low.

Me: Are you sneaking onto the net behind my back again? You bastard, I can hear you popping corn.

Computer: Java updates are available.

Me: Fuck you, if I wanted Java I'd go to the Sun site, you get off the damn Internet! You Java junkie.

Computer: Your virtual memory is too low.

Me: Yeah, because YOU'RE fucking it up! I know you are, you piece of crap!

Computer: Java updates are ready to load.

Me: I knew it! CLICK. No, see? N-O! You can shove 'em and now I can do whatever I want. I'm the boss, got that, you pile of junk?! Ha!

Computer: Local area cable connection 2 is unplugged.

Me: AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Fucker.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I get these messages all the time too! Very annoying....

Dirty Disher said...

It's the sneaking that bothers me. This thing thinks it's in charge.

Anonymous said...

that is what you get for using windows :P

Anonymous said...

but I like my windows XP, just a creature of habit I guess...I try to blame it on my son and his World of Warcraft LOL But I know my computer is almost 4 yrs old and has alot of junk in the trunk. I'm grateful with what I have at the moment!