Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Gosselin wankers


There were two episodes last night. I can't even sort through all the shit that was wrong with them, so I'm counting on you guys to add your observations. Kate was obnoxious as usual. She let the kids paint a picture for the first time in their almost 5 year old lives and tried not to freak out. Jesus. Then she said she liked to "culturize" her children. It sounded like she was growing bacteria. She picked out their paint color to match her walls. I couldn't even laugh at her lack of art knowledge and "culturizing." It was so ignorant I don't even have a joke here. She's just insulting her viewers, her children and everyone who's ever heard of her. It almost killed her to say thank you and the damage control was at it's peak.
*
Jon spoke about the gossip going on..he stuttered that he goes out and people take pictures and "do what they have to do." In other words, he's blaming us for talking about him in bars playing titty pong with young girls. He has no privacy and it's our fault. Yeah, I forced him to be on TV 24/7 and act like a drunken horny fool. They threatened not to come back next season. Oh, yeah right. They are now producers of the show. These two white trash whores will pimp their kids until they get old enough to say no. The product placements have grown to a new obnoxious level, with Jon Googling an insurance company and calling it "work." Oh, fucker, please! When Kunting Kate picked out the children's paint color to make "art" because she's soooooo "culturized"..it was kind of the end for me. There's nothing funny or cute here anymore. I'd rather go clean the yard. And not call it a "projek." Kate can go shove all those kids back in her clown car. They're doomed. If Jon is pissing his pannies over no privacy, how come there were two episodes in one night? Couldn't fit all the sponsor whores in one show? Loser. He needs a Juicy Juice enema.

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gawd...where to begin? Ok, Kate, we get that you are now trying hard to repair your image, but that ship has done sailed. "Letting" your kids have fun? Puhleeeeze! Did you hear the kids scream in fear and trepidation when they got paint on them? That's what Kate's constant bitching at them has brought. Kate's admission that they have a "helper"...not a NANNY...wow! That must have hurt! The pained expression on her orange face looked almost human! Then Jon's whining and mumbling about privacy...what a crock! When you sign up for season after season or this stuff, you get what you deserve! Also, if the reason he's upset is because he got caught playing beer pong with a bunch of coeds then he needs to learn DISCRETION!! No one is going to cut you any slack if you are sucking at the corporate teat, pal. Just endure the horrors of your million dollar home, free trips, free hair plugs, royalties, and ever growing bank account like a man, will you? As usual, the children were adorable! Aaden's plaintive cries for a paper towel were priceless!

Dirty Disher said...

Yeah, they won't admit they have nannies. They call them helpers. So bullshit. Kate would die if she had to take care of her own cash cows for a day.

Dirty Disher said...

Oh, I want to mention this. How come all the girls had to cut their hair short except Hannah? Once again singling Hannie out as the special favorite. That shit's old.

Anonymous said...

it is really interesting to hear them speak in person. Kate does ALL the talking and of course Jon says nada...I am sick of the oies and deception...Maybe I'll watch Dancing With The Stars>>>

Anonymous said...

When Kate took the kids to this really "cool" museum I was expecting something other then the well known Please Touch Museum in Philadelphia. I realize that I am from the area, but what hayseed town did Kate grow up in. She acted as if she found this great little secret. Having a child, I also get that you have to impose rules, but making them drive home wet if they got wet. Very nice mother she is. She gets on my nerves more and more with each episode.

Anonymous said...

Nannies take care of the kids.
A "helper" will do whatever the bitch desires. The sick fans that are begging for the show to continue need to get a life. Jon is falling apart and I wouldn't be surprised if we see a sex tape next . . . not with kate. I just hope its with a woman. THAT would really piss off the Sheeple who think this family is "wonderful."

Anonymous said...

I didn't watch the finale, but always suspected they've had nannies from way back. On all their trips etc they just edited them out of the footage. They have always been there.

Anonymous said...

I remember one episode where Kate said something about Hannah refusing to have her hair cut. That doesn't bother me as much as letting her 6 year olds (at the time) grow their nails out! Did anyone see that? It may have just been one of the twins, but I know I saw an episode where they had to cut them for some reason. It was totally creepy to see this little girl with these long nails.

Dirty Disher said...

Cara. She's had those long grown woman nails since age 6, yet the tups can't wipe their own ass's at age 5. Go figure that out.

Anonymous said...

... sucking at the corporate teat - good lord I almost died laughing!!! That, my friends, was PRICELESS! Thanks for the giggle.

Dirty Disher said...

Yes, I agree. But, the corporate teat must be disinfected with a P&G product and squirt money. Then Hate can SUCK IT. HARD.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was just great how Cara got to run around with the Globetrotters & Mady got what she usually gets...nothing.

My so-called better half (that's what he calls himself, anyway) pointed out how similar Mady can be to Kate. So TRUE!

Anonymous said...

Mady is a difficult kid (sometimes unlikable), but, Kate doesn't help her any by calling her mean and ugly. The way they treat Mady is horrible. I'm no mom of the year, but, anyone knows you don't treat a child like that. Mady is much smarter than her parents and I'm betting she tells it all when she's old enough. If I'm still around, I will be buying Miss Mady's book.

Anonymous said...

Mady is the most miserable kid. She always was. I'd be pissed if I had a kid like that. She never wants to do anything and always gets pissed when she's forced to participate. I agree with you on the book, though.

Dirty Disher said...

You have to look at it all from Mady's point. She never signed on for this. She has no privacy. The tups are the hard sell, she's an after thought. Her parents don't like her. Every one who cared about Mady has been cut out of her life for monetary reasons. It's not a good life in the mansion for little Mady working 24/7 and I doubt she even scores a college fund out of this bullshit circus.

Anonymous said...

kate is very tanned for living in PA and she gotton thinner
check out her diamond ring
at the end of the show she said how much she Loved being on the reality show while ignoring and talking over how Jon said he did not like it all.
the last couple of shows he has not been present at all when they did family activities. I dont know what the TLC contract calls for but he just doing the less he can for the show.
Cut Mady some slack there are major issues with that child it cant be that great for the kid to be told by her bitch mother what a witch child she is. and having all those younger siblings cannot be fun at all. If Jon leaves he should take this child with him, Kate would probably be happy to give him Mady.

Anonymous said...

What a crock! I'm going to culture up my kids -- let's see, first I'll have to dip em in paint, then add a splash of water and then onto a petrie dish they go. What a hick! We'se gonna culturize our chillen'.

Never ever will I be sucked into watching any of the orange woman and the ball-less man show again. TLC is a done deal. Until they stop their freak shows, I'm going to find something else to do.

Aaden crying for a paper towel, Collin jerking away from the art lady, Katie Irene wearing super high heels to take her kids to the museum in PENNSYLVANIA, WHERE THERE IS ICE ON THE SIDEWALK, doesn't make sense.

Old stripe-head doesn't care if she loses her "man". She LOOOVVVES what she's doing. I'll bet she does. Jon, no doubt, will pull himself together and remember that he might actually have to work for a living if he left and crawl back under the bar where I'm sure he lives with the icky boys.

Hannah's hair: I believe Mady said and Hannah agreed that she, Hannah, wanted a "real haircut and not just a trim" this time. I believe Hannah told that to the hairdresser and was overruled by Katie Irene, liar that she is, who then did some song and dance abotu Hannah changing HER mind later.

No, it is ALL about you, isn't it? The kid supposedly has migraines from the cameras, the stress and probably all that mop of hair hanging in her eyes, but it is all about you, Kate.

See ya.

Dirty Disher said...

That Hannie migraine story is such a crock of shit. Then get rid of the heavy hair, the studio lights and give the older kids their own room. What a bunch of lying bullshit crock of crap that Kate is.

Dirty Disher said...

Can I just tell you how much I hate Kate labeling Hannah? Little mommy, big lady, mother Hannie, laundry folder! Kate is programing that kid to be the next clown car.

Eric in San Diego said...

My sweetie gets on my case when I point and laugh at Kate's ghetto hair and orange tint, but I can't help it! She looks like shit on a stick! Mady will probably be the only girl to come out of this mess intact. She's been asserting herself, something the others don't do. That's one reason she clashes so hard with Queen Kate...she has her own mind! I'd love it if the producers could see fit to show more of the loving family stuff, if it exists. Cuddling on the couch watching a movie, helping Mady or Cara with homework, ANYTHING!! Just do it quickly before the kids all fade away! I'll be waiting anxiously for Mady's book, by the way...should be a hella good read!

Anonymous said...

I am sick to death of all these irresponsible breeders on TV! Their poor decision making skills are ruining the kid's lives and/or increasing the risk of preterm labor, and its associated risks, with these multiple pregnancy.

I don't watch Kate, FULL OF HATE.

Are you telling me these kids, with potential congitive delays (because of their prematurity) have never finger painted???

Match their paint to the walls, really?!
Obviously that low rent Taintful Kate was oriented to"culturizing" on a Rooms-to-Go advertisement...or she's been trolling the starving artist's shows at the local Marriot. I am going to take a wild guess that Crayola isn't a sponsor?

It's hard as hell to want to nurture a child you can't have, and you hear about this piss poor"parenting". What a cold shrew.

Any moron knows that a kid hasn't had a good day if they aren't dirty at the end of it! I think Tide should drop her since the kid's aren't allowed to get grass stains.

Slightly Spriteful

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you're probably right about Mady. I do feel bad for both of them. Cara just seems much more well adjusted to it all. I guess its not Mady's fault that she's not. I do remember when they took her to get her ears pierced, she was like a totally different child without all the crazyness surrounding her.

Dirty Disher said...

No, Sprite. The G kids are not allowed to paint. This "event" was the first time I've seen them paint pictures and it was a class. The teacher was rude and manipulated their work and Kate picked their colors. They were smocked until it looked like hazmet suits and Kate was freaking. They aren't allowed to do anything which might ruin their expensive matching outfits. Kate's fake phobia is so bad, that they call crayons a special project. Play dough is given, like once a year and they have to do it outside, with Jon. After one use, it is thrown away. You should see the bitch wth ice cream. "She's ruined! Absolutley ruined!!!" (kids dress at Disney.)It was just plain vanilla ice cream. The woman is nuts.

my9cats said...

If Kate LOVES LOVES LOVES her life and what she is doing (being away from her kids)then WHY WHY WHY is she so hostile to her (stupidly) admiring public?

Anonymous said...

I think we should send Gloria the MediaWhoria for a home visit with Kate and her 8. I'd like to see her call in a report to CPS, for the health and emotional/cognitive development of those repressed kids.

Those kids aren't going to be able to make one decision if they can't even chose what color to paint with...are these kids constipated??? Poor stressed out things. Better get Colace or Senokot to sponsor them. In a few yrs they can start taking mood altering drugs...I think Tom Cruise should help them find Xenu. Kate would be kicked out of their lives for being an oppressive or negative blocker, whatever they call the bad ones. Scientology might be the kids' only hope.

Anonymous said...

Sorry forgot to sign my 8pm rant.
Sprite

Anonymous said...

I am a mother of Three great kids. I am so pissed that so many people want to unload on Maddie. She is 8 yrs. old for Christ's sake. She is also a twin. I watched the episode where Cara got to go on the floor with the Globetrotters. Up until then, Maddie looked fine, even smiling. Then it all turned around. If you have it on tape, go back and watch, Maddie was so damn ignored. I was never a perfect mom, but damn it, what they do to this chid is unspeakable.

Anonymous said...

Why is Kate smiling like that in the picture at the top? Is the photographer waving a bag of money at her? Or maybe a spa treatment?

Anonymous said...

8:00:00, it's interesting you should say "constipated." In one of the worst episodes Kate took the kids to get free furniture and Collin was crying in pain from an impaction. Kate ignored him. Jon finally dealt with it on camera, using a plastic bag to remove the childs blockage. After all that horror (and that's what it would be to a small boy) he looked up at his dad and said thank you in a tiny voice. Jon made fun of him.

Anonymous said...

I am amazed to hear these kids aren'stimulated. I have only seen one episode,ice cream for dinner after a picnic. She yelled at them for playing in the grass. The kids were playing alone, pretending the purple bench was a bridge and if you fell off, the gators would get you. I thought it was great they were amusing themselves.

Did I waste my niece's time doing arts and crafts, baking, building forts with her out of my sofa cushions and sheets? Teaching her to be respectful to animals? Reading to her? I bought Crayola markers that only draw on special paper (for when she went home). We used sand, beads, glitter and glue in my house. We worked at the kitchen table. We"sewed", made stain glass in the oven and I ironed the plastic shapes she assembled to melt them into hideous potholders or ornaments.
I vowed to never put her in front of a TV when she was with me--a couple times a year. I was happy to send her home because I was exhausted in the end. My car smelled like spoiled milk because she didn't tell me she dropped her sippy cup in my Jeep during a humid DC summer. Or she would leave a used pull-up and leave it somewhere...and it stank but I was happy the dog hadn't eaten it. Isn't that what moms do? But as an aunt, I get to cram it all into a few days and not have to deal with reality.

Before she was born I bought her The Little Princess, a vintage illustrated book. I planned to read it to her and share the story I loved. Unfortunately, she had seen the Disney movie, which took a lot of the fun out of it-getting her in clean PJs, freshly bathed and cuddling up to read in bed.
I had more rules than anyone else, but I was still cool. She's 15. She doesn't return my phone calls or email me! Hopefully she is happily independent now because she was loved and challenged. Her social life is waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy beter than mine.

It sounds like the adults that were willing to put in the time with the G kids were pushed away by Kate. So sad.

Anonymous said...

8:31:00 ..I was watching Mady close during that Globetrotter thing. I thought she handled it well, but, it sure wasn't a happy day for her.

Anonymous said...

9:09:00, what a great aunt you are. Kate read to her kids ONCE..they were paying her to advertise Despereaux. They don't seem to have any books. The G's say they destroy them, but, I've never seen them with books.

Eric in San Diego said...

Part of what makes me sad for these kids is something that has bothered me for a while...where is their play room? In all that space, I don't recall seeing any little desks, tables, chalk boards, doll houses, pretend forts, NOTHING!! When my son was young, stuff like that was just automatic! Reading to him was one of the highlights of MY day, too! I just don't see that in this family. Where is the plain ol' joy of parenthood? The sweetness of time spent with the most precious gifts of all seems somehow jaded when every shot is a product placement or add for some sponsor. I wish the best for the Gosselin kids, but I'd like to see a lot more of their parents hugging them, reading to them, just flat out PLAYING with them!

Anonymous said...

DD,
I am a nurse so I am cheating a bit...the kiddos sound totally stressed. Hell, I get pissed off hearing about her. Feel your stomach all clenched? I would expect those kids to have relux and constipation. I am not surprised they have impactions. They need hydration, veggies and Collin needs a stool softener. I always gave my infant patients a belly massage (gently), stretched their legs for gas or made sure my affect was calm and soothing with colic--that takes work! Infant massages are a wonderful way to give supervised tummy time and relaxation. Local hospitals probably have classes. And above all, try to keep a schedule. People, pay attn to the poop, look for dehydration and watch the appetite! Watch their color. They will have physical symptoms of stress. Including headaches and upset tummies. Kids get impacted, if Jon started digitally removing poop, they must have been through this many times off camera---that's the end of the road! Give Collin a box of prune juice and some oatmeal/raisin cookies!

I don't want to offend anyone, but if you've ever watched Dog Whisperer, you know Cesar encourages calm, assertive body language. Animals and kids pick up on our moods. I have used some of the tricks for colic. Stress feeds it. It's hard not to be stressed, but they know it and can't relax. Turn off the TV, radio, shut the door and lower the lights. Boundaries (a hand gently rested on top of the head--so they feel like they are in the confines of the womb), positioning and swaddling, all developmental care techniques for infants. It so works. I chill if someone rubs my hand, foot or shoulder. Don't gators sleep when you rub their bellies?

I am so done with Kate and Octomom. the universe is very unfair. I could use a tarot card reading.

I am not a mom, I just know how to take care of kids in the ER, NICU & PICU. I don't even work as a clinician anymore. Take it with a grain of salt.

Sprite

Anonymous said...

I AM a great aunt and I was always the nurse that could start an IV on sick, dehydrated kids. I am going to take a bow, because I used to get called to the ER to place IVs. It's REALLY UN-FUN to do with the parents in the room.

If they can't get blood, put heat packs on the extremity and get them to make a tourniquette out of two regular office rubber bands--the larger tourniquettes put too much squeeze on little ones veins. If a person can't get an IV going in two sticks, ask for someone else to try.

Too bad I don't get to do any of that stuff anymore. I loved it. Hated weekends and holidays, year after year.
Sprite

Anonymous said...

Eric, I know. Isn't it weird that they don't like parenting at all yet she insisted on the fertility stuff? More more more. You're right, there is no joy.

Anonymous said...

I do not watch the show anymore thank God. Got sick and tired of that Cunt Kate and her balless husband.

Everyone knows that they have had nannies since the twins were born.Now Kate is saying helpers. Tell another lie lady fuck shit.

These G fans would love for this show to go on forever. They need it because their lives are filled with ignornat babble from their trailer park existance.

The Gosselins are shitty parents that should have their kids taken away. They use them because both J&K are too stupid to actually get hired at any real job. They treat Mady like trash. Man that girl is going to have one fucked-up adult life. Jon & Kate can suck my ass.

Wren said...

did you hear when she said she picked out the colors for the pictures? poor kids, they can't even pick out their own paint color.

Anonymous said...

I DESPISE THIS WOMANS HAIR... DOES SHE THINK THAT LOPSIDED STUPIDASS 'DO LOOKS CUTE ?

KATEHATE

Anonymous said...

Kate's hair looks atrocious. Seriously, if they are raking in $65K/episode that bitch needs to find another hair lady.

My hair lady expertly "applies" my highlights so I don't have that "stripper" look.

Why doesn't Kate go all the way blond on the front.

Anonymous said...

I don't watch this show, but my main concern is what in hee-haw-hell is going on w/ that hag's hair in the picture? HIDEOUS! I haven't seen anyone sporting a color job that bad in years, and I live in freaking Oklahoma!

Dirty Disher said...

You should see the back. You'd shit.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's just me, but when I see the back of her hair I think it looks "teased". Does anyone still do that?

Anonymous said...

Her hair looks like when Rosie O'Donnell came out of the closet and got that neo nazi bull dyke hair cut.

My 8 year old , after Jon crying about his privacy , said it should be called "whine and Kate plus eight." I love that kid i do.

Dirty Disher said...

I like your kid.

Anonymous said...

My daughter and I have a running bet at the length of this union. We've had Jon with one foot out the door since the tummy tuck. Or maybe that's when the money started coming....
I feel sorry for all the kids, the "beautiful twin girls" who by necessity are an after thought, none of the kids are allowed to get dirty.

For all of the "organic" they eat, and "never ever have fast food" I once saw a McDonald's cup in the kids room.

I can't stand to listen to her, and I'm hoping that Jon, who seems like a nice guy with no backbone, finds one and leaves. And takes the kids with him. He seems to handle it better, and he'd admit that the help was really a nanny. Who bought the "we want to respect her privacy" crap anyway, we just didn't want her to get any royalties.