Jon: Thank you Kate for letting us take a break from the constant filming...
*
Kate: There's no break, Douche Boy, didn't you read Emeril's tweet?
*
Jon: Emeril? You don't really allow me to Twitter..
Jon: Emeril? You don't really allow me to Twitter..
*
Kate: Never mind. Emeril Lugosi. I'm teaching him how to cook and you're getting a spin off show. Don't even look at me wrong, I will slap the beejebus out of you. Get those friggin' kids dressed and feed them some grapes on a paper plate. Make sure you say they're organic. My fans like that.
*
Jon: Kate, I'm not sure I can handle a spin off. I mean, my free hair plugs hurt and..
*
Kate: Don't start it, Bub. You will regret it. Look out the window. See that car? It's yours. And you get to drive it every other Wednesday between 4 and 5 pm after you've done chores.
*
Jon: Holy Smackeroos! For reals?
Jon: Holy Smackeroos! For reals?
*
Kate: Yes, Dickless. I bought it with our kid's college fund. That one kid, the one I don't like much, the little gay one..what's his face? Well, whatever. Now, do you raise our kids AND do a spin off, or do I take the wheels back? What's it gonna be, Massengill?
*
Jon: No, Kate! I'll do it! It's so cool!*
Kate: Good. We're done here, I'll see you next month. I'm off to church.
*
Jon: Church??? But I thought...
*
Kate: You don't get paid to think, Bitch Boy. But, I get paid for church. $25 grand a pop. Mom of the year and all that shit. Speaking of shit, get rid of those hounds.They don't photograph well at this stage and I hate them almost as much as I do kids.
*
Jon: Kate, I don't know how to, to, to ask this..but, but, what about coed beer pong? PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!
*
Kate: Do what you want, Meatless Wonder. I'm fucking my body guard. At $1,600 a day he'd better have quite the, cough, resume. And he does. Remember..time is money and your time is my time. Except every other Wednesday between 4 and 5 pm.
*
Jon: Thank you Kate! Thank you!
*
Kate: Yeah, yeah, Pocket Pussy, now go fetch my fuck me pumps. Make it the heels. Bye Hannie Wannie poo! Oh, and the rest of you...whichever ones you are. Don't get dirty while I'm gone. I'm outta here.
19 comments:
that is sooo mean....and i loved it
sb
If this is the balless wonder's new car, how are the sheeple going to explain this one? Jon needs a 40,000+ sporty 2 door........ car he has 8 kids you know.
Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic!!!
Pure comedy gold.
You rock.
what kind of car is that?
ha ha ha!!! grapes on a plate, that;s funny.
Well done!
That car is a total chick magnet...
I have a feeling that their marriage is done...Goodbye Kate. Ha!
How did you sneak a mike into their house, dd ? (scary real)
This is by far the BEST FUCKING thing I've read in 2 weeks!!!
Is that his new car, for real? What's with the sports car and Hummer all of a sudden? Mid-life (HA!) crisis, new money, or finally leavin' the wifey? Maybe he got tired of shlepping around in the 15 passenger family van. Cramps his style. Not cool on college campuses. Chick repellant.
What a DOUCHEBAG this guy is!!!
How long before the sheeple get ahold of this site? Won't be long and they will be in here threatening everyone to leave their precious Gosselins alone.
Vomit.
Thanks. I lurk at all he G sites, because I love to hate Kate. GWoP posted the car photo and people went mad. I guess I don't blame them since these two asswipes are still crying poor. Jon IS getting a spin off. There are rumors of Kate and her body guard. I've had his pic for a year and I wondered way back then. But, since Jon fucked up with his college buddies, well, it seems even more likey. I'd like to thank Jon and Kate for giving me such a good time here over the past year. I still won't be sending them money.
I think their sheeple are more fucked up than them. I love to hate all the asswipes. Kudos to you DD!!
Just the conversations I imagine, DD. You have a gift.
LOL! She needs a bodyguard? That face would make anyone run...
Applause!
that is sooooooo fruckin funny i laughed so much i cant talk
DD
You are sooooo talented at doing this you should do a daily J&K conversation!!! Or at the very least a quote of the day with your own gifted slant!! I love this site. I even love crabbie!
You love crabbie? You need help! LOL!
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