Lissa in a garage sale hat, I told her she was a cute little Yankee Doodle Dandy and she went over to mom's and told them she was a Yankee Doodle Bambi. Okay. Cute story over..bad story starting.*
I bought a box of Barbie's at a sale, I didn't really want another box of Barbie's, but, it was too hot to sort through it and the lady offered the whole box to me for $5 dollars. What the heck? Before I tell what happened, you have to know there's a bad Barbie story from my childhood. It was really traumatic for me and I've never gotten over it. It's about a child that wasn't valued and betrayal. And it centers around Barbie and my Mother.
*
I have a lot of Barbies. I have most of the old ones with ponytails and bubble cuts and Skipper before she got boobs and cousin Francie and best friend Midge. They're all kept with the original designer fashions in their original cases in the loft. Sometimes I take them out for Lissa. But, we have two suitcases and an old diaper bag filled with other Barbies from all time periods. Tons of them. Some are my daughters old Barbies (I made sure to buy her plenty of them) and some are yard sale Barbies. They're all different, some are a little bit collectible, some are just ordinary. But, if I get a duplicate I usually get rid of it. I don't think you could collect every Barbie made unless you had a seperate house to keep them all in.
*
So when I got home from the sale and work, I brought in the box and Lissa and I put in Stewart Little and we started watching the movie and sorting Barbies. We were having a good time going "Oh, look at this one!" You know, because I actually found some unusual ones in with the junk Barbies. There was swimming Barbie who winds up and had manufatured short dark hair, which is really odd in a Barbie. And there was Spansh speaking Barbie, hola! Anyway, just a handful of cool ones to keep. There was also a few celebrity dolls by Mattel and we like those. Those always go in the suitcases.
*
*
So when I got home from the sale and work, I brought in the box and Lissa and I put in Stewart Little and we started watching the movie and sorting Barbies. We were having a good time going "Oh, look at this one!" You know, because I actually found some unusual ones in with the junk Barbies. There was swimming Barbie who winds up and had manufatured short dark hair, which is really odd in a Barbie. And there was Spansh speaking Barbie, hola! Anyway, just a handful of cool ones to keep. There was also a few celebrity dolls by Mattel and we like those. Those always go in the suitcases.
*
Just then, Mom walks in because she had to see what we were doing I guess. She starts picking through the box of dolls and found two just alike and decided to take one and I said "Mom, that's the Olsen twins, there's SUPPOSED to be two of them." She picked up another one and says "Is this one Britney Spears? It looks just like her!" And I looked and said, yeah, that's Britney. So then she says "I'm going to take this one and give it to Sissy!" Sissy is her friend's grand kid, I don't know Sissy. And I said no, take some of the ones we already have. And Mom got all heated up and said "Sissy LOVES Britney Spears! And you already have her anyway. I'm taking Britney!" It crossed my mind later that she knows way more about this Sissy person than she does about me or Lissa, but, that fact didn't register right then, because the room went red and a white light exploded behind my eyes and I wanted to grab her by the hair and slam her ignorant head into that retarded column that runs down the center of my living room. I really wanted to kill her at that moment! Maybe I AM psychotic. I don't know. Lissa saved her though, by going over there and taking Britney away and saying "Tuwella, you can't take my dolls, they're MY new toys and not no one elses. You need to go home or watch the movie and be quiet."
*
Lissa didn't get corrected because she was absolutely right. No one has the right to just take things from you. Mom had her mouth hanging open, but, she sat down, watched Stewart Little and shut the fuck up for once. I am still mad though. She took an armload of movies when she left, saying they were old and I wouldn't like them. I DO like old movies but, these were the Ma And Pa Kettle series and I had bought them with her and Aunt Ruth in mind, but, she didn't know that. She just always has to get her way somehow and get over on me. Today I was putting away toys and I noticed one of the Olsen twins is missing. Gowd, I hate her. She's a bitch and a half. Mom, I mean, not the Olsen's. But, both the Britney's are in the toy box. For now.
Lissa didn't get corrected because she was absolutely right. No one has the right to just take things from you. Mom had her mouth hanging open, but, she sat down, watched Stewart Little and shut the fuck up for once. I am still mad though. She took an armload of movies when she left, saying they were old and I wouldn't like them. I DO like old movies but, these were the Ma And Pa Kettle series and I had bought them with her and Aunt Ruth in mind, but, she didn't know that. She just always has to get her way somehow and get over on me. Today I was putting away toys and I noticed one of the Olsen twins is missing. Gowd, I hate her. She's a bitch and a half. Mom, I mean, not the Olsen's. But, both the Britney's are in the toy box. For now.
56 comments:
Tell her she's not welcome in your house anymore. You have to be firm with crazy people. Give them an inch and they'll take your Britney Barbie.
Let me tell you my Barbie story. I had a little girl so her entire life she was bought Barbies. After the Cher concert I even bought a Cher Barbie ($100, still in the box). I started buying Barbies on Ebay. Lucy, That Girl, Legally Blond, Wizard of Oz. I guess you can see my pattern.
Anyhow, after buying the Rosie O'Donnell Barbie I finally woke up and realized that my little girl doesn't give a shit about Barbies. At. All.
I did take Rosie out of the package (have 2 of them, one still in the pacakage) and we played "talk show."
She loved it because I was playing. That's the only reason she played.
So, a few months ago I had her put all the Barbie crap in a bin and we are donating it to a daycare my friend's daughter works at. She says they have no toys.
Meanwhile, silly me paid $5 for "a box of Barbie shit" that my friend got at one of those storage auctions. In that box was a naked Tarzan. Did you know Tarzan also doesn't have a penis??
The Olson Twins were also there. I thought "should I keep these?" and then remembered that I have cartons of "collectible" Barbies that nobody gives a shit about.
I started selling the collectibles. Seriously, if you want some I'd send them to you. I'm trying to purge our tiny apartment of all the unnecessary crap.
I have Spongebob and Patrick Barbie, Baywatch, Wizard of Oz, too many to think of.
I will never part with Cher.
LOL! YOu can't just kick your mom out when she lives next door. That never works for more than two days.
I have Cher too! I wish I had Sonny. Did they make Sonny?
Well Pat at least lock your door so you can put stuff up where she can't get it, before she comes in! Seriously, if I had 99.00, I would sign you up for a security system, so you can set it, and then when she comes in, and the security copmany calls to see if everything is ok, you can tell them NO, please send help.
Ok so I was only half way serious, but it seems the only way to get her to leave your stuff alone.
i had francie!!! and i have a flat chested skipper too!!
i think there was a sonny doll....i remember the cher doll....
good for Lissa! children have a sense of right and wrong, she knows your mom is wrong....
start leaving notes all over "find nursing home for mom" or "dr. appointment to discuss mom" "meet with attorney to discuss mom"....
And just for the record, there are several Britney's. There's adolescent Britney, teenage Britney, Rock and Roll Britney, etc. I didn't have that particular Britney doll. Fuck her. She aint gettin' it. I wouldn't even give her Lindsay Lohan now. I wouldn't even give her the Bionic Woman who's missing a hand.
LMAO @ Tia. Uhh hu.
I like miss tia's idea LOL That might keep her out for at least a week. Good for Lissa putting her in check, kids have good bullshit meters.
I don't think they had a Sonny. Maybe he wouldn't agree with the whole "no penis" thing.
I also have the Green cardboard dream house (circa 1962). I went through a "memory" phase and bought it for my sister but realized she wouldn't appreciate it or even care.
It brought back so many memories. I still have it.
DD, I honestly don't know how you do it. I couldn't handle that shit. I didn't realize just how crazy she really is until recently by reading the stories. I guess I am lucky with the Mom I got,because I couldn't handle it at all...my temper would have me in jail.
My sister had the ORIGINAL Barbie and I had flat chested Skipper. We also had Midge with the freckles.
Does anybody remember the powder-blue corduroy jumper?
Your mom is a sneaky old woman.
DD;
They make these firecracker-like thingies that have a string on each end. You tie the ends off and when someone opens the door it sounds like a small caliber hand gun going off. My old Dad always loved them. I would never do this to HIM; it might give the old guy a heart attack. . .I'm just sayin'. . .
Cut, where can I get those? Seriously.
Snark, I remember the powder-blue corduroy jumper. Sharp. I don;t have that one. I have some others that are really nice and famous. Barbie clothes were really amazing back then with attention to detail and awesome sewing and fabrics. Do you remember the nurses uniform with the cape? OMG, I need that one. Barbie couldn't be a doctor though, Ken could. Sigh.
Your mother SO reminds me of the mother of my mother-in-law. She's dead now, but boy was she a B**** to her daughter (my mother-in-law). I think it all boils down to jealousy. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know, but every time I read one of your stories about your mother (like the clothesline one) I think of her.
DD,
It's time to get serious.
I'm saying this as an observer. Rent that house out and find another place to go. You said it yourself-you felt like pushing her head into the column.
Don't think of it as defeat, think of it as winning back your sanity.I know you've finally got your house and yard like you want it. but I would be willing to start all over for a little peace and quiet. This has to be driving you nuts and family or not, no one should have to put up with it. The best family is at least 1/2 mile away.
It's not worth going to jail for something that has a good possibility of happening---I'm just saying!
One of you need to go and I don't think it will be your mom.
I worry for you!!!
The Rosie O'Donnell can't be a real Barbie--like
37-23-36!
Bayou, now that my brother is living in a half way house, there's no one to take the old ladies around...but, me. They don't drive anymore and there's no public transportation here.
The Rosie doll was fatter, wasn't it? Not as fat as Rosie, they couldn't bring themselves to make that. I have to look that up.
Pat, they could call you when they need a ride somewhere..this is not healthy for you, sounds like..a little peace and quiet is a good thing. Although, I too would like to find out where to get the shot alarms.
The Rosie doll is Barbie's "fat friend."
ha ha ha.
My favorite was a full length "mink" coat. I don't remember if it was true Barbie issued or just a doll coat but boy I loved it!
Good for Lis standing up for herself!! She's a smart cookie :)
Ah Corina, I take them to the doctor, mow their lawns, take out the trash..someone has to be here. And I have no money to move.
Looking these things up that you guys remember is really fun.
Then get some kind of contraption rigged up (like the Our Gang kids used to do)so you will at least know when she's coming and frisk her on the way out. If you have to, jam a chair under the door knob so she will have to knock like most people.
Next time you're in the big city, go to a party store. They might have those poppers there.
Good luck!
I forgot there was a Britney doll. I was going to say if I have a little girl next I can't wait to buy her Barbie dolls but then I remembered I don't want any more kids. One baby daddy is enough.
I hope Lissa is enjoying playing with new dolls. You are such a sweet gramdma. :)
I loved Barbies when I was little in the 1980s. I had all the garish '80s dresses with the big ruffles.
Your mother sounds like a nightmare. My grandmother is a bit the same way, although not as bad. I know you've said before locks on your door won't stop her. I don't know if you mean she picks them or what. Have you ever tried a deadbolt? There's really no way to get in if the door has a deadbolt on the inside.
Pat I totally understand about not having money to move..but I think 3 deadbolts on each door would work; then only lock 1 or 2 at the most to make it harder for her to barge in.
I've discovered your blog and been reading some of your posts over the last few days. Our lives seem to have run on a parallel course. I too used to wait in the car til all hours for my father to come out drunk and then hide in the floor board behind the front passenger seat and pray my little heart out to God to get us home safe as my father mowed down stop signs and ran off the road. And to my mother I was the throw-a-way child - always treated like trash. I left home when I was 16.
For some reason she still wants to interfere in my life even tho it's obvious she hates me, which is why I moved to the opposite end of the coast to get away from her, so she can't reach me. Everytime she calls or e-mails me (which is few and far between) to keep up the pretense on her part (or maybe she's still trying to exert some control over me), she always finds something to say to try and diminish me. I sometimes fantasize about shoving her face in pigshit, and then I apologize to God for all the anger. But I've recently decided to drop her completely. No more even reading her e-mails or answering the phone when I see her number pop up. And it feels liberating.
But I can completely empathize with you. I think there are a lot of us out there.
Anon;
You don't have to apologize to anyone for your anger at your parents. Ever.
DD~
Go back over there and take your shit back, don't take no for an answer. You even said yourself they'd be fucked without you and your transportation; let them know. Tell them off. Fuck em.
What are they gonna do anyway? They need you, not the other way around.
I am sooooooooo proud of Lissa for just staying calm and facing your mom and taking her dolls back... good for that little girl!!!!!
Your mom is a nutcase and she won't change until the day she says bye-bye to this lifetime... you know that too and you have decided to live with it and take it day by day.
As to Barbies, well I'm not too keen on them so I can just leave them... instead of buying collector clothes items for Barbie I rather buy them for myself hahaha (Pat, I bet you KNEW I'd say that huh) :)
I LOVE that picture of Lissa! She has so much personality it just jumps right off the photo at you! I also love that this tiny, bundle of fun has the common sense to lecture and silence great grandma.
Pat, I still maintain that your mom would have me in a numbered jumpsuit in less than a week. I hope your ability to walk away from the need to bash her head in a post holds steady and strong for both of your sakes.
I understand and commend your need and desire to help her but I also worry about her instabilities triggering something volitile in you as well. At the end of the day, I'm sure, you know what's best for both of you.
I loved Barbie. We never had much money when I was growing up(the 70s) so I was so excited one Christmas when I not only got the Cher doll but also her stage set!! OMG! I probably shit myself when I saw it.
My Dad loved Cher back then so I think that is why I received the whole kit and caboodle.
My oldest did not like Barbie either. I kept buying them but I found out later on that they were not her cup of tea.
She wanted books instead.
Sometimes I feel so pissed at your posts, I keep scrolling and won't check the comments.
What can be said about such ridiculous behaviour? But I admit I had a good laugh at Lissa's reprimand! Way to go, Lissa.
And there's no fucking way you're psychotic for wanting to lash back after 55 years of that shit. I feel the same way about my family and I'm all too sane.
OMG! Whats an Olsen twin w/o the other? Get it back dammit! That pisses ME off now! My mom once gave our "not poor" neighbor a darling half table, of cherry, that my grandmother had given us. I saw the neighbor carrying it into her house from where I was playing and almost cried. I knew she was at it again. Trying to make someone like her by giving them all our stuff. My mom had to actually take a lamp off that table to give it away! We had no money, that table was a valuable heirloom from grandma and we used it! She gave away my doll cradle & high chair when I was 8, to some rich Mormons that used to visit our house. I watched as they drove away with my beautiful wooden doll furniture in the back of their brand new station wagon. I didnt even cry, I hated my mom for doing that. She gave away our Wold Book encyclopedia's too, to another neighbor that she wanted to make like her. Those were from my grandma too. Dayum, my mom was exactly like your mom. Whats wrong with people? My mom would rather a strangers child play babies with my doll furniture than her own daughter. Whats wrong with that!? Total mental case. Poor Lissa, I'm glad she saved Britney tho, but she is gonna miss the Olsen twin. Go get it, for Lissa. Its the point of the thing, not the actual thing. Grrrr!
That was me DD. About the doll furniture. I wanted to relate my Barbie story.
Like you back in the 60's, a Barbie was very coveted. But my mom never bought me one. I got a Skipper from grandma she had long dark hair like me. Wish I still had her. I had some generac fake Barbie with a bubble of blonde plastic hair. I played with her tho. I knew she was fake. My friends all had Midge with the bubble hair and real Barbies. When they got the ones with a tan & legs that bent I was so jealous. My aint told me I was gonna get a Barbie for my birthday when I was 7. Me & my friend chased the mailman everyday for 2 weeks looking for my magical Barbie in a box. It never came. A couple of weeks after my birthday my aunt came to visit with her family and brought me my gift. A box game, Chutes & Ladders. It was really fun, but it wasn't a Barbie> :(
Kids are always disappointed. I too, made sure my daughter had all the Barbies. And the Olsens and the Kelly dolls and the little boy ones too. And Beauty & The Beast ones. Little Mermaid, you name it! And clothes to fill her trunk up! I never wanted her to feel like I did. I am 52 & still feel bad. Gawd...still a disappointed little girl somewhere inside huh? jeez
Rox
9:43:00 AM, your comment really touched me. We are NOT throw away children anymore!
Rox, you always hit the nail on the head. My Barbie trauma stemmed from my mother trying to impress someone who wasn't important and giving my doll away. Your mom was the same way. They are awful!
Nadine, if I looked like Heidi Klum I would buy Barbie clothes for myself too! I adore you..even though you look like that. LOL!
They did make a Sonny. I had him and Cher too! LOL.
Daphne
I think they are all up in my attic....maybe I need to do some diggin!
Rox, I think I have that Skipper with the dark hair. I'm pretty sure it's in the loft. Would you like to have her?
Dapne, I'd love to see a photo of the Sonny doll. I'll bet he wore a fur vest. LOL!
awwww...Pat. OMG! Skipper from circa 1966???? Long straight as a stick dark hair? You kiddin' me? I would die! I will trade you something. Just let me know. I have lots of good stuff. Like you, I am old enough to have stuff somebody might want! LOL...xo
Rox
*I will see what I have to trade & give you w/e you want! You are the best!
I live next door to crazies who are also immediate family. When i have got my Playstation out, or anything else i don't want them to see and grab, i throw the deadbolt. If questioned i say "sometimes i feel more comfortable with the door locked. There are a lot of crazies out there!!"
That's what deadbolts are for, after all--to keep the crazies out!
anon 9:43 there is nothing wrong with cutting off your mother! i did it and it was one of the best decisions of my life! and it IS liberating!!!
My mom sued me 3x for owning some family pics that she threw in the trash after my gramma died. Trash=I can have it! And we asked, so it was ours. I went to court, she didnt even recognize me! It was great. She told the judge we did not appear, we noted that we had appeared! Not so fast bitch! Anyway, the judge finally got fed up after so many annoyances. Told her to stop chasing lawsuits or he would arrest her. She died last November. I had not had any relationship with her since I was 15 and she ran off with that fucker child moletser truck driver ex-convict she picked up on the highway one night after work. Don't think I dont have some shit to tell!!! Wow...
MissTia...you know what I am talking about. I could not have survived had I kept any relationship with that woman. Thankfully she lived pretty far away. Did not attend the service when she died, did not lose any sleep over it. I figure she must have really hated me anyways. w/e...
rox
Awwww Rox....
(hugs)
daphne
My blood sugar got low and i had to eat lunch, but i thought about your post the entire time(and wished i had your vegetable garden!!)
I have a problematic mom too, who is the focus of anger from her adult children, although we try to keep it on the down low because she is 85 and in failing health. Her hoarder house got destoyed in Hurricane Ike. Offers of an alternative home did not exactly come pouring in from many of her children. There is an awareness that she could drive one into a stroke inducing rage. She has found a home with my youngest sister, who pays a heavy price.
My mom usually operates on the level of a four year old, in spite of her age and IQ. That doll stealing and some of her other behavior sounds like your mom may do the same thing. My mom has Borderline Personality Disorder. Knowing that now does not help with the lifetime of pain her children have suffered, but at least there is a label on it.
Your mom definitely sounds like she has boundary issues and seems to have little respect or understanding for the property, feelings, rights, or health of others. She seems to have a mental disorder, to say the least. But if she drives you to harm her, no one will understand except your Faithful Readers.
Protect yourself! Put yourself and your needs and wishes first.You can bet she puts herself first and always has. Not because she doesn't love you, but because she is so damaged in some way that she can't really love anyone.
Lock the door. Everyone deserves privacy. Tell her so. Locking emotional doors is harder, but keeping her at arms length as much as possible can only be good for you.
Sorry about the bossy sounding language above. Your mom's behavior pisses me off bigtime and i got upset. Those were actually just suggestions...
yep rox, i know exactly what you are talking about....when my mother dies i won't loose any sleep either....not worth my energy, time, etc...
it's good to know there's others out there....10 years ago when i would tell people i had nothing to do with my biological family (cuz they AIN'T family if you know what i mean) people would be like "how could you"....no could YOU want someone to be subjected to torture?
i think, unfortunately, with the advent of the internets and the anything goes television that more people are realizing that many people did not have mothers and fathers, they had monsters...so at least people have some awareness now....but children should not be subjected to anything like what some of us here have gone thru.......
I salute all of us strong women who made it through crappy childhoods. And, I totally understand that sometimes your family is who YOU have picked, NOT who Nature chose. So many years, we felt that we didn't matter..and now I want to say it loud: WE ALL MATTER, even if we are the only ones who think so.
thanks MissTia...sometimes it just makes it ok if someone is having the same experiences. It's like we dont suffer alone, ya' know? Thank you so much. I know we are not alone in our experiences. Thats why I go overboard and am really an involved mom that cares & understands(tries to) everything my kids go thru. I never wanted them to feel left out or neglected or deprived. We have no money but we did the best we could. They are 23 & 25 now. We are very close. At least there is that. I dont think I became my mother. Thank gawd!!
roxanne
My lovely grandmother handmade Barbie clothes for me as a child and they were incredibly detailed with tiny buttons and zippers. Some were hand knit and the rest were made on an old Singer that had no reverse. Every stitch was perfect. I still dream about the fashion shows I put on for my friends until the day my step-mother gave them away, dolls, clothes and all the accessories, when I went to live with my mother again at the age of twelve. My brother and I only had room in our suitcases for clothing and to this very day she claims she thought I left them behind because I didn't want them!
My grandmother, being the lovely person she is, made a whole new wardrobe when I mentioned the loss to her one day -- I was in my twenties by then, but the loss was still with me. She made lingerie, business suits and jogging shorts, a really modern and "grown up" trousseau, and even bought a Barbie to go with it. I was in tears when she gave it to me and I keep it in the cedar chest my adorable grandfather made for me. But as wonderful as it is, it will never replace the original tiered wedding dress, knitted ice skating outfit with real lace-up skates, flapper dress, air line stewardess outfit or any of the other beloved possessions that were so thoughtlessly (or perhaps not so thoughtlessly) disposed of.
My step-mother and I fought ferociously for many years (especially my teens), but I finally came to understand and accept her (she is barren and this made her resent my father's children). I even forgave and made peace with her (for my father's sake at first) and we are best friends now, but the scar is still there. She gave away all of that grandmotherly love and I'll never get over it.
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