We did some errands, what can I tell you that I haven't already? It's always the same. Mom had to go to the bank so I parked up on the square directly in front of it. She sat there fooling around looking for a cough drop for 10 minutes. I said I have a jawbreaker or a strawberry Star Burst, your choice. She chose the Star Burst and bitched that it was awful and spit it out in my cup holder. Then she fidgeted and complained about the heat for 5 more minutes until I finally said, Mom, are you going in the bank, or what? She was totally flustered and had forgotten it was her who needed to do bank stuff. She'd been waiting for me to go in, even though she'd ask me to take her there. I could see she was embarrassed and I tried to make a joke of it. She's been doing these things a lot lately. The other day she yelled at me for sleeping late and said "Just because you play in that rock band all night doesn't mean you should lay around all day!" It's at times like this that I have a real pity for her and I gently reminded her that I'm not Eric and I don't have a rock band. I could tell she was humiliated and she made a lame attempt at a save by saying, well, you both have guitars all over and sleep all day. Which is far from the truth, but, I let it go.*
While she was in the store I got myself some lunch and started eating it in the car, I figured I'd be waiting for hours, but, I was wrong. They're having a big sale tomorrow so she just bought one cart load of stuff and wants to go back for the sale. When she saw what I was eating she totally flipped out. I am not a big Sushi fan, I can take it or leave it, but, I saw the truck guy delivering it, so I knew it was fresh. I bought it in honor of my nice sea dreams and it was the best Sushi I've ever had. She went on a mini rampage declaring it gross and disgusting and tried to throw it out the window. I said, hey, that cost 8 bucks, are you nuts? I finally put it under my purse and she made puking noises all the way home. With the window down so all the neighbors could hear her. She said she didn't know what was wrong with me "You weren't raised that way." Meaning eating Sushi. No, I was raised eating pork and beans out of a can and thinking it was a whole meal. I was raised in filth and squalor and flea bitten hell.
*
And so, tomorrow I can look forward to another trip with her and I think I'll buy the sesame crab roll. They keep for a day, don't they?
42 comments:
DD, your mom needs to see a doctor as she has so many of the symtoms of dementia or even early alzheimer's. Her erratic behavior, forgetfulness, crabbiness and so forth are cause for some alarm at her age.
It is all give and little return for you, but she is lucky to have you nearby at this time in her life.
Pat,
My heart goes out to both of you. She is clearly slipping into some disorder of the aged and you are taking the brunt of it. I agree with anon above that maybe getting her to the doc might help both of you. I also agree that she is blessed to have you. For as much as she gets to you, you're her salvation at this point. I really do admire your strength.
She has a GP she loves. She sees him regularly. He is convinced she's a sweet old darling. I went to see him once, but, he felt me up. They belong together..lol.
I want to agree with both of the above comments...but yet at the same time the ornery person that I am is saying to mess with it a bit, have some fun. Go over to her place in the middle of the night and say ok Im here like you wanted lets go. Phone her make her believe she phoned you....I have no excuses and Karma is a bitch I have a Shay Shay who I am sure will be messing with me in my deteriating years.
Connie
Nina, I asked you on that other post, but, if you didn't see it..would you like me to mail you the Benchley book?
LMAO Connie. They don't all you Swamp Witch for nothing.
Agreeing with Nina and anony...
I don't know if I would have the patience that you have with someone like that. It sounds like she needs some meds.
Awww Pat, your're so sweet but I just ordered it online and should be getting it sometime tomorrow. Thank you for the offer though!
Connie,
That was sooooo bad but sooooo funny. I'll be chuckling for an hour now!
OK, Nina. But, if anyone ever wants a book I have on here, it's no problem because the shop owner can't sell these kind so I get them free.
And I hate books piling up here, I don't have room for them.
DD... I have great sympathy for you in your dealings with your mom. But on the other hand I have to laugh at how you describe your interactions with her. I have a grandma who tells me the same stuff over and over and over till I want to snap. I think she just has a poor memory but it's annoying. I guess I have a short fuse when it comes to stuff like that. But anyway... I agree with what everyone else is saying and think she's really lucky to have you in her life.
Pat, my mom was like that starting in her 80's. Turns out she was having little mini-strokes. Not enough to cause damage but enough to screw with her memory and personality. It may be time for her to see a specialist. Not that they call help much based on my experience but at least you might know better what you're dealing with.
There are no specialist here and she wouldn't see one anyway. I just deal with it. I try and be patient....unless she starts in on me. She gets real crazy sometimes. Like that deal she had about inviting company here. Gawd, I was sick of that. And you know what's really weird? She hates Japanese food, but, she loves Japanese men. She married two of them.
I agree with everyone else. She seems to be losing grip with reality, you should have her checked.
But OMG how can anyone not like sushi!!!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm spicy shrimp rolls.....
*raises hand*
I'll confess, I hate sushi. I've never had any (except the vegetarian kind) and I have no intention of starting. I don't eat fish of any kind. I'm not vegetarian, just weird.
i don't mind sushi....i like the spicy kind...
I LOVE Sushi and Sashimi. yummmy. The more wasabi the better.
I would keep an eye on her like you have been doing. If she gets really off the wall, you can tell her dr over the telephone. Then he can talk to her on her next visit.
LOL Connie. I was thinking along the same lines as you.
Pat, I've always wondered..was Eric close with your mom? Why would he buy a house RIGHT next to her, out of anywhere else?
I feel for you everytime it's old lady check day, my mom has a cranial aneurism so her memory is shot, on top of that she's a little loopy. I can only imagine what it will be like when she's older. I, however, will DEFINITELY no be living right next to her... Come on lottery!
Sorry about your day but your comments made me laugh though. Does your aunt notice that your mom's mind is slipping at times?
Mt aunts are crazier than a pet coon. They're real nut jobs.
Eric didn't buy this house. It was mom's house and she gave it to him. It's a very long story that I should tell, but, my brain still explodes when I think of it. It came about when her and her crazy sisters stole my farmhouse. This house given to Eric was a way of making up for that..so that I didn't kill anyone. Trust me, I wanted to kill them.
And did you know that ANYONE can file a quit claim deed against your legally owned property and tie it up in court? Oh, yes they can.
Geez pat, now I really want to know more!
HATE SUSHI!!
I really wasn't raised that way.
They're nuts and greedy, Biz. I got sick and when I came home from the hospital, they'd filed an illegal quit claim on my farm and had moved all my stuff out. "For my own good" they claimed. I "shouldn't have been living out in the country all alone while I was so sick." That was their reasoning for taking my paid for home. I never got my house back and I never got paid. I hate them to this day for what they did to me. Hate is too mild a word.
LOL Snark. I'll bet you weren't send home from grade school because you had fleas either.
Alanna and fish don't mix!
The first time I went to NYC we went to this big sushi place. there were about 10 or so people and I didn't want to "stand out" so I ate it.
After about the 4th bite I said, "Who the fuck am I trying to impress? I'll never see these people again and I live 4000 miles away."
I went and got some steamed rice and vegetable. That was all I ate.
Does your mom take any responsibility for your childhood?
The boy that I sort of adopted has fleas.
If I let him sit at my computer the next day my legs are bitten up and down. I'll clean and vacuum and it's gone . . . till the next time he sits at my computer.
He has about 5 cats in the tiny apartment.
Awwww, Snark, that kid is going to get so badly made fun of in school. Who's taking care of him???
The only 'sushi' that I've ever liked is the stuff that is fully cooked and isn't even technically sushi...california rolls etc..
Pat that's awful. I don't even know what to say.
thanks for sharing more of your story Pat. I love the way you write about your interactions with your mom. I also love sushi but I hate that crap they sell in the grocers. I only like it if its really fresh (restaurant I guess).
Although I have to admit since the post last week that mentioned wonder bread (in the comments I think) I've been craving bologna, american cheese, and wonder bread :) Unfortunately, the big dog got to the fresh loaf of bread (that I very carefully got home from the grocers without it getting crushed). He's not been feeling terribly well since then...
Pat,
He's been locked in the apartment playing video games all summer long.
What's bothering me is that he's always wearing a sweatshirt with long sleeves. i don't know if he's hiding because he's so skinny (85 lbs) or if he's hiding something else.
They are playing today. New kids moved in so that's always nice.
I'm so sorry about the house. I had sort of the same thing happen only with a car. My family drives me nuts. That sort of thing happens all the time. If I don't physically have my hands on it, the assume I don't need it or want it and do with it as they see fit. Ugh!
Wow, Pat - that is really a shitty thing to do, to put it mildly. I would be pissed as all hell and not sure I could talk to them ever again or even see their faces. You are bigger than me... As for TV Snark, I would be suspicious of the long sleeves. Would hope that it's nothing more than being skinny and cold but would definitely keep an eye out. You may end up being more help than you originally thought. My two-cents and hope I'm wrong.
How in Sam's Hell could they do this with a QCD or any effen deed when the owner of the property has to sign said deed? WHICH WAS YOU? Need more info here. HUGS
Did those old biddies forge your signature? Did you have to go through a Quiet Title Action?
Yes, they forged my signiture.And yes, that can happen to anyone. To file a quit claim all you do is go pick up a free form at the courthouse and then get it notarized and file it. Costs about $20 buck and they don't ask questions. You can fuck with someone's home for years before you go to jail.
Bella, your poor dog, but, LOL!
Snark, man, I'd keep an eye on that kid. I know you are.
Pat, we need to talk. They really forged your signature and got away with it? We need to talk. How do you live next door to them? We need to talk. I have a story too. But I had to sign one of those confidentialy agreements so we have to talk elsewhere. I worked for 20 years in title insurance and am a notary.
You can email me anytime.
Pat, write a book and we will all make sure you get on the bestseller's list and then you can buy yourself a bigger peice of land with an old farm house! i just believe what someone told me not too long ago, bad shit happens to good people, all the time but we become stronger for it. Now i don't know what "stronger" will do for me, except maybe make me tolerate the next batch of bad shit that happens to me but oh, well, at least i have that!
ali
p.s. did you notice that i finally got a google account? did it just for you, well, almost, needed a damn calendar for my current project and that my client team could use and the best one was the google calendar...so i created an account begrudgingly but i knew that the good part of it was not having to sign anon on all my comments on your blog...
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