Beebee bandaids..and the bad babysitter

Crappy photo. It's mammogram band aids. I looked on the net for a better picture and I was shocked at several sites discussing the use of these band aids for mammograms. Grown women seemed to think they were a nod at modesty and used that as a base for some female type comedy. They thought. The bee bee band aids mark the placement of the nipple in the x-ray. Grow up. And learn to Google. I am always surprised at sheer stupidity.
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I had a mammogram appointment yesterday and my DIL showed up with Lissa and asked if she could stay here because she got out of school early and was bored at home. I told her I had an appointment and she just stared at me (DIL, not Lis). So I said, sure, of course. I really don't want her to think she can't ask me to babysit anytime, but, it was one of those days I desperately wanted to be alone. But, she promised it was only for a couple of hours. I asked Mom to watch her while I went to the hospital and I got there, got it done and got back in a record 20 minutes. They were playing cards. Lis threw herself at me like I'd been gone a month and ask how bad did it hurt? Great, Mom had been telling her hypochondriac medical tales again. I said, it didn't hurt, it's just pictures. It's..a boobie squasher. I squashed my boob and she laughed. She gave Tuwella dirty look and said, it didn't hurt. She needs to lay off that medical stuff in front of Lis, the kid has enough medical stuff of her own. I wish I never had to leave her there.
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I got paid back later when Mom's friend, Pin came over and brought her grandson. Lissa and I had spent an hour playing dress up with some old Halloween costumes, my head hurt and everything seemed really loud. Mom walked in holding this little boy's hand and she deposited him in my kitchen and said, I told Alex he could play with Lissa. Then she left. He's too young to play with Lissa, he's only two. I've seen him around the yard when Pin visits, he's a cute little guy, but, I don't really know him. I knew what happened. They can't stand him. Pin is raising him because her daughter is a druggie fuck up and she loves him, but, he drives her nuts. My Mom can not stand this kid, she says he's a holy terror. So, I had no idea what to expect. And I really wasn't in the mood for any of them, but, he didn't ask to be dropped here, so I tried to shake it off. What's one day out of a crappy life, right?
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We tried to engage him in play and he wasn't having it. I tried reading to him, but, he wasn't interested, he just wanted the book that was shaped like a truck and had velcro on it. What he seemed to enjoy was getting into everything. It's been awhile since I've had a two year old, but, isn't that pretty normal? So I told Lis, let's just let him go for it, it makes him happy. He tore apart the toy box, the tub of Matchbox stuff, all the movies, books, my canned goods, pots and pans and anything else he could reach. I don't have anything he could get hurt on at toddler level, so he really had a good time. I just sat here at my desk chair where I could see them. Bad babysitter. Free babysitter. He could say three things..twuck, mine and ah zis? Every time he'd find something interesting he'd bring it to me and ask, ah zis? I'd say, that's Gigli, the worst movie ever made or that's pork and beans, never eat the pork. All afternoon. Sigh. Lissa started having a good time when I'd give kid humor answers to his querrys. That's a package of hiney wipe for stinky butts. Bwaa ha ha. Yeah.
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Lissa got into this babysitting experience more when she started trying to figure out what two year olds can eat. Can he eat candy? I have no idea, he didn't come with instructions. Try it. He spit the chocolate out in my hand. Gross. Yeah, that's funny. Try string cheese. Graham crackers. Oreos. He wasn't hungry, this was just a way for me to let her kill time. I found a sippy and gave him some milk, but, he pointed at her Coke and cried like his heart was broken. When strange toddlers cry, there's a universal move, we both patted his back and said, no, it's okay, it's okay. I dumped out the milk and gave him a tiny bit of soda. He had one sip, big grin, off he went. Lissa looked at me and said, I'm telling on you. Nice. Schooled by a five year old. It's not like I offered him a smoke. I reminded her that she shouldn't have it either and she's lucky I'm a crappy babysitter.
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That went on for a few hours until his Grandma finally came and got him. She told him it was time to go home and he yelled, NO! (Hey, another word) and he ran from her and tried to hide. She asked me "He no bother you?" Pin doesn't speak bad English or good English, but, the inflection of her tone was "Why aren't you insane by now?" I told her, honestly, no, he doesn't bother me. He's a good little kid, he's just busy. I don't know what my Mom's problem is with him. He's not loud, he knows what no means and he occupies himself. Anyway, she left with him kicking and screaming and we gave him the Elmo on a motorcycle toy. It's a toddler toy and Lis has outgrown it.
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The weird part is that once Pin realized I meant it when I said I liked him, she kept asking if I wanted him back today. I thought she was joking and I laughed. She wasn't joking. I told her Lissa wouldn't be here today. After a pause she said, so, you no want him come back tomorrow? Gawd. I finally just said, no, I'm busy. I told her he can come back when Lissa is here though. I may regret that. My DIL didn't show up until bedtime and then she had something to tell me. She said they have a birthday party in the city this weekend so Lis won't be here. She didn't know how to "break it to me." I told her I needed a break anyway and she looked shocked. What is with these people anyhow? They all seem weird to me, only the kids make sense, and I think a weekend without kids sounds pretty good. And no, I won't be lonely. Wankers.