Demons. Yawn. I'd call one up to do my bidding, but, that would probably take more energy than I have anymore. (You do know I'm being sarcastic?) Other people do believe though, a fact I'm enjoying. I caught part of an old slasher film a few days ago, there was nothing in it that was frightening, but, the mad killer stood outside the house watching his intended in the typical mad killer pose and I was amused. I shut off the movie and dug out my long black Winter coat and went outside. I positioned myself at the fence facing the neighbors and adopted the mad slasher stance. Legs slightly spread, arms hanging at my sides, neck foreward, head lowered. Hmm. I made it 15 minutes. It was cold and mad slasher stalking is such boring work. I've continued this goofy behavior every night since. I can now go an hour without moving. If I didn't have to pee all the time, I think I could last half the night. I wasn't sure if my mad slasher act had even been noticed, crap, all for nothing? But, last night someone called the cops. I don't know who, since I do this to the mother thing's house too. It's a lot of work. Apparently there is no law against standing in your own yard. You don't have to tell me I've lost my marbles, dear readers, I am well aware. But, I have become convinced that evil always wins, and nice stands no chance in this world. And everyone needs a hobby. Halloween is coming, they really should send me a thank you note. Live theatre of the macabe. I got a flyer today from the farm store. Axe's are on sale.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Every day Demons..yawn
Demons. Yawn. I'd call one up to do my bidding, but, that would probably take more energy than I have anymore. (You do know I'm being sarcastic?) Other people do believe though, a fact I'm enjoying. I caught part of an old slasher film a few days ago, there was nothing in it that was frightening, but, the mad killer stood outside the house watching his intended in the typical mad killer pose and I was amused. I shut off the movie and dug out my long black Winter coat and went outside. I positioned myself at the fence facing the neighbors and adopted the mad slasher stance. Legs slightly spread, arms hanging at my sides, neck foreward, head lowered. Hmm. I made it 15 minutes. It was cold and mad slasher stalking is such boring work. I've continued this goofy behavior every night since. I can now go an hour without moving. If I didn't have to pee all the time, I think I could last half the night. I wasn't sure if my mad slasher act had even been noticed, crap, all for nothing? But, last night someone called the cops. I don't know who, since I do this to the mother thing's house too. It's a lot of work. Apparently there is no law against standing in your own yard. You don't have to tell me I've lost my marbles, dear readers, I am well aware. But, I have become convinced that evil always wins, and nice stands no chance in this world. And everyone needs a hobby. Halloween is coming, they really should send me a thank you note. Live theatre of the macabe. I got a flyer today from the farm store. Axe's are on sale.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
27 comments:
Until you pee in the yard you haven't really lost all of your marbles. I salute you!
rofl!!!!
Are you keeping this up? What if you scare some nut in that neighborhood and your accidentally shot. Know that i have warned you about your safety. I am lmao. maybe your parental unit will get freaked out and move. Keep us informed.
Should post a pic. I got a black top hat too. I be scary.
8:17:00..warned me? Warned me? Seriously? You sound nuttier than me. Everything that can be done to me HAS been done. I have a hit list a mile long.
Somebody sounds a little edgy to call the cops....lol
...this is too good. ROFLMAO.
This is awesome and hilarious. I am a huge fan of horror movies and since Jason Voorhees is my favorite horror movie bad guy, I suggest you add a hockey mask to your outfit. ;)
If I looked out the window and saw someone standing there staring at me while wearing a hockey mask I would lose it totally and completely. I live in Canada so you'd think I'd be used to hockey masks by now but no, to me they are all about Jason, not hockey players!
get a ski mask so you stay warm....
tough biker people calling the cops?? that'll teach 'em not to fuck with you!
if the mother thing comes out and tries to talk to you while you do this start talking nonsense to her..."why yes tomatoes are high priced" "no, i didn't see that but i do see the pineapple chasing the spoon down the street".....
hahahahahaha!
I hope that your crazy neighbors don't call the cops and say that you're a peeping tom . Here's what happened to my husband . We have horrible neighbors that were killing our outdoor cats . They live about 3houses down the street from us . There is a church right next to them with a big parking lot in back that runs right along their property . THey have a fence the whole length but it has gaps between the slats . My husband was walking to the gas station one block over and was cutting through the church parking lot and happened to glance into the horrible peoples yard and saw that they had a live trap chained to a tree . He immediatly went to their door and asked about it . In the past we have been cordial to these people and thought that we were " friends " . The woman went off on him while the husband stood there mute . My husband expressed his displeasure and left . That afternoon the cops showed up at our door and warned hubby that he could be arrested for peeping if he ever looks in the horrible peoples' yard again . In fact you are not to look in anyones yard . When you go down the street you are to look at the road and not peoples yards . Hubby is getting pretty hot at this point and I was afraid that the cop was going to arrest him . Son keeps saying ,dad , calm down . Cop finally leaves. We are all shocked . What can you say other than people are crazy . So do be careful ,Pat . Don't want anything else to happen to you .
Ahhhhh Tia, here is de secret curse. You must say it low and slow while waving your fingernails..
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena
So fucking funny I nearly peed my pants!
Just hope they don't own any rifles...
Your neighbors are going to get loaded and set your house on fire. They're that stupid and crazy. Keep an extinguisher handy, if only for the possibility that you "accidently" unload the whole thing in someone's face who you "thought was on fire."
dd ure cwaaazzzzzyyyyy
OMG DD you crack me up! The macarena bit is hilarious :)))
There is a spelling error on your moon phase insert.
There is no such word as "olds."
Just thought you would like to know.
ps. OLDSmobile doesn't count.
hee hee.
Keep on haunting. Hopefully it will lightning out, won't hurt you, but they will be looking and it will cause them to piss themselves!!!!
Pat,
Just what did the police tell you?
Why didn't you tell them you were looking at your garden or at least where it used to be before someone came into YOUR yard (without your permission--trespassed) and ripped it to pieces.
Please tell us what they said!!
This may seem too late, but why not go ahead and file a report against the people who wrecked your property without *your permission*? If you, and only you, own that house, and if another person hired people (Ma and trashy neighbors) to rip the place up and no person sought your express desire to do so, then fucking press charges. Honestly, it's got to be easier than feeding their stupid paranoia and cruel-lust. You pay for cops. You aren't the stupid asshole here. Make the system work for you for once.
Pat,
For your safety, I agree with
Anon 5:27! But it certainly won't be as much fun!
As for standing in the yard, go for the dramatic effect and stand behind a glowing fire. Then if the cops come back, tell them you're roasting marshmellows.
But, no joke, be careful! We don't need more tragedy.
LOL dd you crack me up.. So when do they have power tools on sale? Hit me up when they do...
The cops didn't say anything, they just kept driving around the block real slow. They never come down here unless someone calls them. And yes, they have guns, I have guns, we all have guns. Aint it fun?
ROFLMAO! This is PRICELESS! Another superb chapter for that book! I wish I could be a fly on the walls of all the neighbors pacing and worrying about what you're up to.
How nice of you to give your neighbors free entertainment on a Friday night.
What do you do for an hour? Book on tape?
just when i think i understand you... LMAO :)
Hey! I pee in the yard when that's the best option! Most of my marbles are still rattling around up there, so I resent that!
Press charges. Stop being passive and take control. You're a grown-up with property rights and human rights. Your neighbors are dangerous idiots and your Mom is a sociopath.
Post a Comment