I hate this nasty house in my neighborhood. In case you haven't figured it out, Guntown is not a lovely suburb, but, every time I take the old ladies to the store, I have to pass this piece of crap. And every single time, they make me slow down so they can ohh and ahhh over it. "Oh, that's a nice house, just needs some fixin' up." And "That house used to be beautiful, oh, I love that beautiful house." I have ignored them for months, but, it makes my blood boil and my head pound. Last Tuesday they started it again and my senile old Aunt said, that there is a nice fixer upper, boy howdy! And I couldn't take it anymore and I turned around and said "It doesn't even have a fucking roof!" And she said, oh, poo, it has a roof, I'd just nail me some plywood up there and cover it with tar! And I lost it. I didn't say anything else, I just pounded my head on the steering wheel and then drove home. *
This piece of utter shit is so bad that on the other side the foundation has caved in and you can see through a four foot hole right into the basement which is filled with stinking fetid water. That back porch there where it slopes, those white walls don't meet the roof, that's all open and rotted. You can see in the windows and the inside is even worse. It's not inhabitable. It should be given to the fire department to practice on. You can smell the place from the street, it smells like sewer and garbage and unwashed bodies and dead bodies and poverty. And now they want to buy it. They want to buy it! These crazy old ladies think they can fix it up and "give it to someone in the family."
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I know what their idea of a fix up project is..it involves tar, plastic, plywood, jerry rigged everything that wouldn't pass a code in hell and they're nuts. Between my mother and her sisters they own or have owned just about every shit hole rat infested dump in this end of town and their insane "real estate" deals involve back stabbing, dirty deals, lies, quit claim deeds signed by 700 people, more lies, paying "on contract" with drunks who want enough of a down payment to go to the tavern, property trades with other losers, cash deals on properties like the one pictured...what a friggin' bargain...I could just go on and on. I want to know what I ever did to the universe to deserve being born into this retarded bunch of lunatics. And this is what I will inherit, in abundance, if I outlive them, which, at this point, is probably not going to happen because every time they open their stupid traps I think the rage is going to cause my heart to explode. And if I do live long enough to inherit their crap, I will not be able to afford bulldozers and I can look foreword to a life time of irate letters from the city and fines. I hate them.
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Fuck them and this piece of shit house. And all the other shitty property they own. Fucking gawd! They think they're moguls, they're just fucking retarded. Am I the only one who has relatives like this???
39 comments:
And I really hope no one says that it's fixable. If you have to have a new roof, new floors, new walls, new siding, new foundation, new electric and new plumbing..what in the fuck is the point? GD, I hate them. ~Kicks the desk!~ Retards!
Thank you for letting me have an internet hisssy.
that house doesn't even look like it would have looked good back in the day!!!
why doesn't the city tear it down?
We have one in town like that. My friend says, "oh look, people live there and they have cats, how cute!"
Awww no, that's not cats, it's the family of RACCOONS that live in the house, they were looking OUT the window........LOL
I'll chip in $10 to torch the place.
I have a bad feeling your crazy mother might trade your house for that one.
I'm sorry you have to go through this all the time.
You're right. If it needs all those things, then it has passed on from the ranks of "fixer-upper". The best plan for this property would be to raze it and start over. Actually that's the only plan. There are very few homes in that shape here. Our neck of the woods has been and continues to be so fast-growing, that the place would have been leveled years ago and townhomes would have gone up lickety-split.
Glad we bought when we did, as I don't think we could afford to buy a home here anymore. Most places are priced up out of our range, not that this is a fancy area--just growing quickly.
Is there anyone in your city government that could expedite the removal of this place, maybe on the grounds that it is a health hazard? That would be a sweet little dig for you with the old girls. That you brought about the demise of that great "fixer-upper". Guess it's mean-spirited of me to say that, but I just can't stand how you are treated by those two.
Christina
I am ever watchful. I have no doubt they'd fuck me over again. People have no idea the shit they've done to me and I don't have the space to post it. I'm sure they have me in mind with this shitty property. I can't even call it a house.
We have a few houses here in town that are nearly as bad as that one. The absolute worst houses were right next door to our property. After 12 years we were able to buy both properties for a song, dug a couple of big ass holes, and buried the houses. It helps that we own our own backhoe. And of course there is no city ordinance against burying houses. Now that I think of it there's no city ordinances against anything in this god forsaken town.
That place is a freaking palace!
"accidentally" throw a lit pack of incents (preferably sage to purge the place of evil) and watch it burn. Have fun and make sure you post pics. ;-)
I remain silent on that one. :)
The house looks like something a real estate agent in Brooklyn, NY tried to sell to us for get this..Half a million dollars. It was just about much a dump as the place in the pictures.
No, you are not the only one with crazy relatives. I wouldn't be in the mess I am in now if it weren't for them thinking they know better than God.
A half million dollars??????????? Jeemeiny christmas crackers. I'm guesing this gem will go for around $1,500. And probably no cash will change hands, just dump deeds. Their whole life is like shit hole monopoly.
Any property...Even if it is junk is worth a lot in NYC. That's why we moved to PA. It's a bit more affordable.
Money pit!
It should be condemned it's uninhabitable
and looks unsafe too. I'm glad I can't smell it.
I'd probably puke from the rancid sewer water rot.
Kiki
Looks like it would cost as much as a big can of gasoline and some cheap-ass matches, LOL! I'm sorry that you have to put up with such crap!
I like old houses because I think they have character, but that thing is an obvious firetrap and a pit. It should be torched.
There's this old-ass house in my town which is a "heritage" building but is a piece of shit. Every once in a while the gov. announces they are gonna tear it down and a bunch of people from my town throw a hissyfit and scream IT'S OUR HISTORY!!! and the house stays up. Such a waste of time, you can't even go in that house, it's so old, and one day it will fall in on someone.
All you need is a blue tarp roof and a FEMA sign in front and you would swear it was in a huricane.
Again I have to say, Open that pill bottle and take a chill pill. lol
Ohhh...Pat.....If only you looked out my bedroom window. The houses on either side of me are abandoned. Stripped of the fixtures, holes in the floors, home to squirrels, rats, spiders and I don't want to know what else. My house is a nice brick that my parents built, but this neighborhood is so depressing it brings me to tears if I let myself think about it. I want out.
Pat, it's been suggested here a few times already and I seriously hope you do *it*. If I were there, I'd do it FOR YOU.
With "the law" being what it is (or should I say-- isn't?) it would be no more than a blip on the Guntown radar.
(meant to say "with the law THERE being what it isn't")
Considering the demise of Jon & Kate Plus 8, it might be a great new home for the "Gosslings", if the mini-macmansion is too expensive.
White plastic chairs in the yard would jazz up the place.
You mother-thing can go over there and give them her love blessings all day long.
my husband "hires" the drunk handyman from his childhood neighborhood every time we need something done. I fucking hate it because every time he does something to our house, I have to go behind him and fix it. He gets so drunk he starts speaking in tongues.He once taped a fucking paint brush to a broom stick to paint around the top edge of the wall. I was flipping out. I am normally nice to people but this guy gets on my nerves so fucking bad I can't help but go off on his ass.His two favorite tools are a roll of fucking duct tape and a broom stick.
I am so familiar with fucked up idiot handy men, OMFG! I could make 50 posts on that.
...AND speaking in tounges.
Fadingnebula, how'd you like to wake up one day and find out you owned that shit? That's my fate.
I like the huge bay type window...I love windows, not that I would ever go scamping naked in front of one....I could see some potential once the house was torn down and another rebuilt and I would put a huge bay window in it.
Connie
It's me again once I rebuild and have my huge bay window I will look out it for Pat to drive by hand signal for her to throw the ladies outta the car up the street and stop back by for coffee!!
Connie
Pat ~
What is in the window of pic #2? The section of the house where the electric meter is. Nothing is showing in the first or third pic. Something is in the second pic, is it a curtain blowing in the wind or... something else?
thats an eyesore to say the least. It does need torn down. It looks 100% rotted out. Dangerous looking. But honestly, I've seen worse!
rox
Little Edie! LMAO!
rox
so...whats wrong with the paint brush on the end of a bromstick handle? Seriously, I have had to utilize my ingenuity & use that method before to reach some spots outside. Spots I couldn't even reach with a ladder. I would not do that if I was being paid , however. Just for me and I did it 1 time. It did work. Don't hate.
rox
PS: That will never, ever pass inspection for utilities. Don't worry. It won't happen. I hope you can stay put and hopefully be bothered less & less by crazy relatives.
LMAO at anyone who thinks anything passes inspection in Guntown.
Gotta go look closer at that window now.
Okay, blew up that window from the orig. It looks like a reflection. Figures, no self respecting ghost would live in that crap hole.
DD ~
Thanks, I could see something, but didn't know what it was. (don't know how to enlarge pictures ;)
Maybe it's sewer gases trying to escape.
LMAO!
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