Guntown soap opera

While the families of dysfunction rule on TV, I haven't blogged about my own blood nest of crazy lately. My car is still in the shop and it poses no real inconvenience to me. I don't go anywhere and I don't need anything. When I need to go to work, I can call a friend. But, I wondered how long it would take my mother to notice. Not long. She banged on the door Monday and frantically told me Tuesday was the next day. As you know, that's the one day now that I will put up with her and drive her all over buttfuck. She really was panicked, wringing her hands, what will we do?? I said, oh, it's no problem, I'll just use Bob's car. This was pure evil on my part because about a week ago, I noticed his car is gone. It always sits over in her far driveway and now it isn't there. Let me tell you about this car. It's an older car, I don't know what make, I'm not into cars..I think it's a Chrysler. It's chocolate brown and kind of sporty looking and it's well serviced and runs good. It is the only thing my brother owns. He loves cars and he loves that car. And I knew as soon as I saw it gone, there was trouble.
*

Turns out my suspicions were correct. She was going to give it to my cousin because he likes it. He had it. Her excuse was that Bob is out of intensive care now, but, he's in a wheel chair and probably won't ever get out of it. He's really sick, physically and mentally. The only tiny scrap of imaginable independence or importance he has is tied up in that car. I have no doubt she'd "give" it away to suit her. But, the thing is, control freaks NEVER give things away. Not really. My cousin may gain a car, but, he'd be indebted to her until she feels the debt is paid..and she'd get her money one way or the other. Maybe the house needs rewired or a new roof, who knows? She's definitely going to need a gardener, because I am never doing it again. But, my point is, when you fall into her trap, you are never free.

*
So I looked at her and tried to put an innocent look on my face and said "Oh, really, you're giving Bob's car away? Isn't that illegal?" Man, she was pissed off then. She's like a little raging dwarf when she's caught in a scheme or a lie. She yelled "I paid for that car!" So, I said, you know, when you buy something for someone else and they put it in their name, that's called a gift and it no longer belongs to you. It belongs to him. She really went off then, telling me I was crazy and always causing trouble and he was in a wheel chair and can't ever drive anyway and bla bla. I just kept nodding my head until she ran out of steam and then I said, " I see your point, you know what's best. But, personally, I think when he finds out the only thing he owns is gone, he will kill himself. But, you can tell everybody, you did what's best for him." And then I shut the door in her face and locked it.

*

I have wheels. That night the car mysteriously appeared in my driveway with the key in it. I took the old ladies on their check day run to everywhere imaginable. My aunt Ruth was loonier than ever, but, my mother was mysteriously quiet. I can guarantee you, it's not guilt. She's thinking up her next destroying move. I still have the key, and I am not giving it back to her. I have no idea why I'm protecting my brother. He's such a pussy asshole and his mental illness is no excuse, but, he's a survivor of HER. So I guess that's the connection.