I just got off work and I had to tell you this while it's still fresh in my mind. It seemed like a long day and I needed to stop at the store and get some crackers because I was planning on meat loaf. I got my stuff and some holiday lights on sale and had one small bag to carry and I headed out to the car. On the way out the door I had to wait in line to get out because some old lady with a walker and a cart full of crap was blocking the exit. I mean, I'm tired and my blood sugar is a bit off and I needed to get home too, but, here were all these people standing there pissy while this old lady struggled. Contrary to what you may think, I am not always a cunt. I sighed and moved up to the front and said "Let me help you."*
The old broad smiled a not so innocent smile and said, bless your heart. Yeah right. She gave me the chills when I got close. I don't know why, she was perfectly nice looking. 70-ish, steel gray hair, short and severe, recently styled, expensive clothes in a frickin' nautical theme. You know the type..right down to her anchor earrings in red, white and blue. As soon as we got outside, she starts. First she tells me to put her walker in the cart. WTF? But, I did. So now I'm pushing a cart that feels like it contains 4 tons of cement and a grody walker is whamming me in the face. The old lady is trotting along side, like she's in a marathon. We get to her van which is parked in back water hell and she says you can't be too careful, you know. And I say, yeah, but, I'm thinking if you were careful you wouldn't have parked out here in the fucking boon docks. I'm getting a real bad feeling, but, it's almost over, right?
*
Wrong. She has a whole bunch of sacks and cartons in the back seat and she wants me to move them all to the cargo area so she'll have room for the new bags. And I'm thinking, she's crazier than fuck, and I tried to explain that I have to go and she started getting all upset..so I did it. I put my own bag on the ground and I moved her crap and I loaded her bags and her friggin' walker. I kept looking around, like, wtf is going on? I finally got it all done and she got right in my face and said "You can't be too careful." She smelled like a combination of Jean Natae, powder and piss. I thought I had fallen into a Stephen King novel. I grabbed my lone bag and took off.
*
Right before I got to my car, a van pulls up beside it and the old lady jumps out and starts screaming that I stole her stuff. She was pointing at MY bag. Yeah, you can't be too careful, bitch. I am so sure. That was my evil plan, to follow her crazy ass to the parking lot and steal her goddamned Depends. It took me years to come up with that heist. And from now on, if someone keels over in front of me I will steal their wallet and step on their head. People suck.
31 comments:
I work with the elderly, which I love, but some days.....
I must say I just love your blog. I just started on my own, no readers yet. Its nice to have a therapy outlet.
Day-um! That was VERY Stephen Kingish. Did she call you a cockadoodie bad baby?
That reminded me of a Dean Koontz book I read once. A woman and her kid meet this old lady in a parking lot and she acts very sweet and then gets weirder and weirder and finally, she's screaming at them that the little boy is the anti-christ as they drive away frantically.
I hate when you try to help people and they aren't nice about it. I work at a cat shelter and once this other woman let a really mean cat loose by accident. Totally her fault, but I offered to help corner the cat. She was like, "Yeah, see if you can catch him, okay?" and then walked away, leaving me to trap the vicious cat by myself. WTF? I got scratched up all over and she didn't even thank me, she just said, "What a bad kitty" and walked off. Um yeah, you're welcome, lady.
no good deed goes unpunished!!!
the fucking nerve of people! i mean, help someone open a door, but to expect you to move her bags, load her walker, etc? and then to claim you stole her stuff?!?!?!?!?
Pat;
What is it with you and vile old ladies? Somedays, you must feel like a shit magnet.
Seriously Dish, you should just take that sign Glynda is holding and put around your neck and wear it 24/7.
escrow
What did you say to the old hag after she accused you of stealing?
I hope you told her to go piss off in her Depends!
That did seem kinda Stephen King-ish to me too.
Like her face was going to change the more you helped and before you knew it, her dentures would be fangs!
Oh i gave myself the chills.
No matter what happened DD, you are a good person for helping this woman. And just maybe, what if she was helped before and someone did steal her things?
Many years from now, the people who were bitching in line will be envious of you for helping this person when no one cared enough too.
Old people should be ground up into dog food.
I would never feed my dogs old people LOL
escrow
DD-- I felt like it was the end of the world on my end and then I read about your encounter with the old woman. LMAO. Back to reality..it's not just me, other people think people suck too.
To Cut on the Diagonal--"shit magnet" is my new favorite phrase. I usually call myself "the one percenter", but shit magnet has a great ring to it.
Escrow--you're damned right, none of us would feed our animals crappy old people. I bet all of our animals eat the best we can give them.
This is therapy.
Escrow, that made me chuckle.
My dogs eat better than I do. Holistic kibble and real meat and veggies. I'd eat the old people dog food first!
escrow
Years ago I was turning onto one of our main busy streets by the shopping center when I saw this old lady in the street trying to crawl to the curb. Cars were just whizzing by her. Of course I stop. I was also 8 months PG at the time. She fell off the curb and broke her wrist. I picked her up and took her to her dr's office by her house. She asked for my ph# so her granddaughter could call me and thank me.
I get a call from Gertrude (all I knew about her) and she askes if I could please take her to the dr. the following week. She had nobody to take her. She was 85 and I felt bad so I did it. I'll be damned if the following week her granddaughter calls, not to say "Thank you." but says "you will be taking gram to her next dr. visit in a week right? I'm busy." It really took a LOT of restraint not to say FUUUUUck you! This was a total stranger. I told her if she had taken better care of gram, she wouldn't have fallen waiting for the bus. Take her your G*d damn self and I hung up. I just can't believe the gall of some people. No good deed goes unpunished.
To: Tonya said
That would be Soilent Green and it's not dog food!
DD
I know you live in a small town and I understand people in small towns are different from people in big cities. But there must be more mean old women per square foot in Guntown than any where else on Earth! What is it about the old women? Are the old men like that too?
Damn girl, you are a magnet! And I thought my life sucked!!! I bow to the Queen. You are more than welcomed to have the title!
For this, I send you lots of hugs and even a bunch of messy face kisses from my dog. He sends his love to you.
"Shit magnet" has me laughing out loud and I LOVE this thread.
Yes, people suck. I've been dealing with some "elsewhere" and I wonder why?
Then I wonder why Pat is so nice to these old biddies and I remember that we will all be old hags too!!
I wouldn't feed my doggie ground up babies either.
So sorry. Just had to say that.
You know when you ALMOST bump into someone but you both dodge at the same time? Then, usually you make eye contact and smile and maybe say "excuse me". Or is that just me? It seemed very rude at a restaurant the other night. It was as if since we DIDN"T collide, I didn't exist.
Does anybody know what I mean??
Sounds just like my mom. she is batshit crazy......regularly accuses others of stealing her hoarded stuff...but will take something of yours, claim it as hers and say you stole it from her... or gave it to her and forgot, or she left it at your house by accident-whatever!!at least you got home with your bag of groceries intact!! crazy ass old biddies!!
TV Snark,
Yes, I know what you mean. Not only does it make you feel as if you've been treated rudely, it also makes you feel snubbed. As if it's beneath them to say 'excuse me.'
Oh and Peg, that was some seriously weird stuff! How did you get out of it?
I'm just thinking you were light headed from not eating and didnt know WTH you were doing! LOL!! Oh, what the old lady did doesnt surprise me one bit. No wonder old ppl's relatives dont wanna help them. You can't be around that craziness very often and then eventually you just stop going at all. Old ppl usually keep the hangers on coming back by giving them $10 here & there or buying them a McD's meal on occasion. I used to rotate with some others to take an old lady that was in her 90's to the store each week. She would use her Foodstamps and would pick out a pkg of those old lady Archway lemon cookies as a gift for taking her. I never wanted them, never accepted them. Blech! She never accused me of stealing but her grandkids DID indeed steal from her. Strangers are often nicer than family. But it's because the stranger doesn know you you!! LOL. DD, you had a great time with old nautical,anchor lady! If you see her again, 10 to 1 she wouldnt even acknowledge you! & run like hell. Sounds like something I would have done tho. Makes me think I wont!!
rox
One lesson you have now learned. Never Ever ever trust anyone dressed in all nautical. Gosh darling i thought you knew that., ....:)
Just what I needed to start my day off. Thanks! Funny story. It could only happen to you.
Oh, I said something to her alright, but, I'm not printing it here.
LMAO at Noelle. So true.
And Snarkie;
I hate rude people like that. And when you're driving and you let someone merge in ahead of you, and they can't take a millisecond out of their lives to give you a courtesy wave. Pisses me right off!
Do any of you feel like the invisible person? I get stepped on, bumped into, hit with shopping carts and no one has any courtesy anymore.
I HATE it when I let someone into traffic and they can't wave thanks.
I was 22 when I became a RN. That year I had a patient scream at me and tell me his bandage wouldn't have fallen off if I wasn't such an asshole. This guy had a diabetic foot ulcer and SCABIES. I had to ignore him and rub scabies medicine on his hairy back. The nerve of that fat hairy man.
I grew a pair. I let it all go in one ear and out the other. I have no trouble setting boundaries with my patients now.
I am such a shit magnet.
One thing I have found is they are usually alone and really desperate for human interaction. So they will keep you as long as they can to have someone to talk to. And, she had probably been wanting her back seat cleaned out with no one to do it until she snagged you. I am disabled and pretty well confined to chair/bed since falling last week, and I wait and plan who I will ask to do what for me so I don't impose too much on any one person.
Let me tell you aging and deteriorating isn't easy or fun. God bless you DD for helping her.
Elizabeth..
I hate that shit too.
Thats something that would surely happen to me. I've give up on trying to help people either. It always comes back to bite you later. Sorry that crap happened to you. What the hell is wrong with people. I will never understand even with a forensic psych degree.
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