Let's continue our food chat..we all had a lot to say. I've had weight issues my whole life. As a child I was so thin from near starvation and excessive energy, I looked like a concentration camp victim. As a young woman, I was still so thin I earned the nic name "Canary Legs" which was not cool. I tried everything to gain weight, but, nothing worked. Eventually skinny came back in and I didn't think it was so bad. But, I never had much sympathy for fat people back then. I didn't understand them.*
Then in my mid thirties, my metabolism changed. The first time I tried to lose weight, I realized it wasn't all that easy. That's also about the time I realized how many diets are out there and how much money is spent on weight loss products. It seemed no one was addressing the real problem..food is addictive. I love food. That's when I discovered there were drugs that could control your weight. That's a whole nuther post right there. Addictive personality here, ya know? But, back to fat..I eventually gave up those drugs and also gave up the body image issues and said to hell with it and moved into serious fat territory. I had a radical hysterectomy and became even fatter. I think I knew it was affecting my health at that point, but, I didn't care. I liked food more than life then, I really did. I also liked the drugs and missed them, but, food filled that void.
*
I'll cut to the chase here..one day I found myself in the doctors office and he was telling me I was Diabetic and the numbers were so high I am ashamed to type them. I should have been in a coma. It was change my lifestyle or die time. And he wasn't talking about the future. I have a lot of health problems and now I was compounding them with extreme fat. I thought about my grand daughter and who was going to help her grow up if I wasn't there. I didn't like the idea. So, I changed.
*
But, the way I changed wasn't so radical. I am not the dieting type, that doesn't work for me. I couldn't set unrealistic goals and then be devastated when I didn't see results and I knew that. I aimed for half a pound a month. I didn't know if I'd live long enough to lose a pound and neither did my doctor. He thought I was a lost cause and didn't even bother giving me a food plan. This is a hard post to type, it's so shameful to me that I got to that point. I just didn't give a fuck anymore.
*
Everyone is different, what worked for me may not work for someone else. And so, this is a post where we can all talk about weight loss, food and give ideas to help someone else. Someone on here ask for help, and I want to help. I want us all to help, and I know there will be comments with ideas all of us can benefit from. But, I hope mean people stay off this post and anyone who says fat people should just stop being pigs will be deleted. Sometimes it's not even about food, as some of you pointed out. Food and emotions are intricately linked and sometimes you have to fix your farked up head to fix your fat ass. I know you guys have things to say here..I can't wait to read your comments.
41 comments:
I've had 4 kids in 6 years . . .I know an excuse but I've just let myself go . .. I'm now at a weight that I am embarassed to be at . . .I don't have the money for Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or the others so I've eliminated soda (for the most part) and started drinking more water . . .I'm trying to walk more and do things like that but I don't seem to be getting anywhere . . .I can't accept who I am now and won't leave my name . . .but I just want to like the person I see in the mirror again and be able to run with my kids and to just smile more instead of avoiding eye contact with anyone ever.
2:54:00 PM, I lost pounds in the first three months by switching from Coke to water. And I learned to like water. It's amazing how that one small thing will change you. Don't give up. It took awhile for me to see any results and it was discouraging, but, time passes so quickly. One day you'll see it's working. Don't give up!
Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig...AGGGGG! So frustrating, I don't know if they work or not. Kirstie Alley is still huge. But, I know very few people who can afford their food plans. It's ridiculous.
i have never tried to diet and don't understand them....after my hysterectomy i gained like 30# and honestly didn't care....when i first got Molly and we walked 3 times a day i lost 20#....then when i cut out bread for the most part, i lost another 20#.....i don't do exercise (Besides walking and that's only because i like to walk) and i try to eat healthy foods because i feel so much better when i do....
if people want to loose weight i'd suggest cut out pop....and processed foods.....
Miss Tia!!! I can agree with you today and commend you on your lifestyle. Trigger points that cause people to eat are each person's individual characteristic. So an activity that focuses the brain on something else would be ideal.
Caloric value of exercise is overrated. One must exercise vigorously for 40 minutes to burn about 200 calories.
Learn to feed your body instead of eating an entire meal 3 times a day. By that I mean, eat veg, then protein, and lastly some carbs.
Substitute honey and/or maple syrup for sweeteners because they unrefined, whole foods that your gut knows how to digest quickly.
Walk or follow Miss Tia's advice.
Ladies that want to exercise;
RKC kettlebell 2 hand swings will burn loads of fat and exercise the pelvic floor muscles as well. (dragondoor.com)
Precision nutrition is also a good website
"Ultimate Meal" shakes as a morning meal, and lastly google "Scott Sonnon clubbells"--great tools and prasara yoga to get you healthy everywhere.
If you only want to do 1 thing;
Z-Health exercises should be your minimum.
I use all these tools and then some. Would not recommend if I did not. Thanks Pat for this post!.
Jarhead (still w/beer in hand and tears of pride!!)
I am a large woman and because of my size and giving birth, thyroid and other things I have Major medical issues which include Congestive Heart failure, Asthma, Anemia...the only time I have been found to be a diabetic is after steroid treatments and medications needed to get rid of the blood stream virus going through my veins during my last hospitalization in April. Because of the CHF I watch my water intake since I am a retainer a human sponge so to speak of the water, I am on 2 different types of water pills (Woooo Hoooo)and still retain so much water in my legs that I leave finger impressions. Giving up the soda was one of the hardest things to do I drink them occassionally sometimes I need bubbles so I will have a sprite zero which isnt horrible, I mean its not a pepsi or mt dew but it's bubbles. I really try to watch my caloric intake trying to stick with 1500 a day those are small snack items also, sugar free jello, carrots and fruit. I honestly can't tell by looking in the mirror considering Im the human sponge for retaining fluids but can tell by the meals I have and am not able to finish what is on my plate because Im very full. I also do not let go of my cravings...If im wanting something sweet then I will have that sweet, sometimes a fruit will take care of the sweet tooth but if I want a particular flavor let it be carmel, chocolate, or a particular item, cake, icecream, pie I will allow myself to have it...most of the time just a bite will give me what I am needing.
Connie
something else that should be mentioned re: walking, i have oesteopenia [sic?] the precursor to oestroperosis due to the lack of calcium i got as a child (yet another thing my mother did to me)...walking is good for bone density health! and i like to walk....even without a dog....
so ladies, please eat calcium rich foods and do NOT deny your kids calcium!!!!
and happy birthday to the Marines today! enjoy your celebration Jarhead!
First off I hate mean people! I really really hate them!!!
I am a child of alcoholics who became a ward of the state at the age of 9. After reading so many posts on the previous thread, I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was for me to read your stories. I always felt alone in my life not knowing many people who have had similar experiences as I have until now......... I thank you all for helping me!
Food. hmmm lets see. As a child I have such a vidid memory of being hungry. Alot! One day, I came across a box of My-T-Fine chocolate pudding up in the closet. Yum. but back in those days it was the kind you had to cook and then let cool before you could eat it. Talk about hungry! Now, my kitchen is stocked with food. I may not eat it or even need it but its there JUST INCASE. I know, its screwy but to me nothing says love better then food. I don't have alot of clothes but I have FOOD.
Now, that I am in my menopause years the pounds seem to be packing themselves on quite fast. I have found yoga to be not only good for the body but for the mind and I take several classes each week. I love it!
Its a beginners class and I highly recommend it. Low impact for those who need to start out slowly (like me)
I come from a very very f*cked up family where it was survival of the fittess. meaning you didn't interfere
when my father was going after someone (I have 4 other brothers and sisters - we are NOT close)However, we did intervene when he went after my mother who beccame an alcoholic herself (If you can't beat them - then join them I suppose).
I just want to wish you all well and thank you again for such honesty in revealing yourselves. I know how hard it is.
Connie, good point about water. You're beautiful, btw!
I lost weight by eating more meals. I used to never eat breakfast, hardly ever lunch, the wrong thing and too much at dinner..ahhggg. Now I eat 6 tiny meals a day and I never feel deprived, my blood sugar is finally balanced. It seems like I eat a lot, but, I eat things that are better for me and it has changed my weight. Significantly..but, it wasn't done overnight. It took a long time.
Dianew, you had it rough. Becoming a ward of the state at age 9 is just inconcievable to most of us. Were you placed into foster care? What was it like? How did you survive it? My heart goes out to you.
so ironic to see this post today, as I have just recently decided to get up off my bed and stop crying. But not before I ate an uncrustable, a bowl of apple jacks and an egg sandwich. was I hungry for all that? Hell no, I am trying to fill myself up with something because I feel so empty. My husband is a gambling addict , it's all he seems to care about . I am so lonely even though I have wonderful kids to keep me company. I keep mostly to myself . I hardly talk to anyone outside of my house. My weight has yo-yo'd for years.usually up in the winter when I can hide, down in the spring when it's time to come outside again. I've been looking online for a job for a few weeks,but it seems like being a stay at home mom for years paired with no college doesn't impress the job world.It sucks because I know my capabilities, but on paper i look like a dunce! I'll just keep looking and hopefully not eat myself into obesity .Thank you DD for the chance to get this out , as I don't really have someone I can talk to.
I'm lucky that I have been pretty athletic most of my life, but that hasn't spared me from packing on 50 pounds in adulthood. I remember being thin and I also remember not eating, on purpose. so, here I am 40 pounds overweight. I decided it was not going to be easy to lose, and I have stopped beating myself up over not losing 40 pounds in 6 weeks like the bitches on tv. So, I go to Curves 3 to 4 times a week and STOPPED drinking Soda, I eat bread in the morning only and don't go in for seconds! I read food blogs religiously, such pretty pictures, I could like the Computer screen! Hey no calories there! Lost 25 pounds in 3 years, still, hard as hell, but heck 30 minutes 4 times a week of exercise is really all you need. 30 minutes of stupid tv! GOOD LUCK LADIES AND GENTS!
I know it's common sense we all know the difference
between an apple and a donut but it's not easy to
always pick the apple. I don't agree with any of
the Jenny craigs nutrisystem the entire weight loss
industry is billion dollar business that is set
to have you fail in the end or else let's face it
they wouldn't make money if not. The dangers
of getting off the plans food / meals are that
when u go off them u end up gaining the weight
back plus a bit more it's hard on the heart.
Kirstie is fat again oprah too it doesn't stay off
unless u lose it slowly I mean no more than
1 pound a week max! Yeah if u have to lose
100 pounds then it will take u two years to do it.
That way your skin can bounce back and u
won't need to have any nip & tuck ops.
Do what u can whatever you can get yourself
to do is the right way for u to lose it. Walk
swim drink lots of water stop all sugar
whatever u need use it to your advantage
count calories read labels keep a food journal
theris so many things to follow u decide what's
going to work bestcfpr u. Everyone is different
and we all know ourselves best. Don't follow
a rigid plan and save your money for fresh
food eat for enjoyment and health it is a pleasure
and a necessity just rember there is no right or
wrong way whatever works for u is the way to
success. Take your time and DD is right stick
with it and one day u will see results. Kiki :)
Valle, your comment touched me. This is my contact with the outside world too. I do get out to work, but, that's all. I am very familiar with trying to fill a void with comfort food. If you really want a job, I know you'll find one and you have to keep us posted on that. How old are your kids?
4:26:00 PM 25 pounds is a significant weight loss. Three years sounds like a long time, but, you're going to be hanging around for three years anyway and it passes quickly, you know what I mean? It's so hard for all of us who have a real problem to see ahead or find a place to start. Your comment enforced what I was trying to say, which is do something small that doesn't hurt too much and don't give up.
TY, Kiki, you are so right. It just seems so hopeless for some of us, but, one day you see it's working. That's an amazing day.
Please be careful of nutisystem ads they are really full
of shit and lies all bs Marie osmond recently
became the poster girl for N S she is a liar
she has has extensive cosmetic work including
lipoSuction and a few facelifts as well as other nip &
tucks here and there. Don't believe all the hype.
She is just as phoney as khate gosselin :-/
IMO. Plus who the he'll wants all that dehydrated
crap in a box for a meal it's justcas bad if not
worse than my mother and her frozen foods !
Eat fresh if u can don't buy too much food at
once u can go back to the grocery store again
we aren't being rationed. Njoy your food and
don't rush it. Savour every bite. Sit down when
u eat try not to eat alone. Try to keep off sugar.
Carbs are ok potatoes are best then rice lastly
it's breadc& pasta cookies & cakes don't sent
yourself but realize how they can make us fat.
Startches in carbohydrates are converted into sugars
and stored by the body for energy reserves.
That's why added sugars are such a no no.I just read this quote from Reese Witherspoon. I am not a huge fan but she says it succinctly :
Life isn't just about you. It's about family and friends and giving back.
- Reese Witherspoon
Adult onset diabetes is an epidemic in north
Ooopsu iPhone went krazy for a second and
quoted ms witherspoon by mistake.
A huge reason so many people in na are over weight
is cuz of sugar mainly high fructose cornsyrups
in food manufacturing. Try not to add sugar cuz there
is a lot of hidden sugar in our foods already. That's
what I wanted to add before my lil oops. Sugar
busters is a great way to lose. You wean off
sugar and in about 3 months you will have lost about
25-30 pounds. Sugar it's the new cocaine! LOL
Pat, This is my first time to post on your blog,but I visit often.I also love your post over at Moons.
Moons is the only site I have ever posted on and just love it over there.
I don't know you at all, but I will admit that I find you to be a very funny, talented and now, after reading this blog, I also find you very inspirational.
I am sure that I would be honored to claim you as a friend if I knew you.
Keep up the good work and please continue what you are doing.
I am on the food is love train. I have a hard time not having a full pantry and fridge. I do cook too much. I do not know if I can conquer that issue. My own issue at the moment is that there are a lot of foods I have had to give up. They are migraine trigger foods. There are a lot of them. I still make things I can't eat and then feel left out when my family is eating them. Being deprived as a child leaves a lot of issues.
Love reading all the stories everyone is sharing.
Pat, I do the same as you, although my health problem is reverse. I'm hypoglycemic. So, I eat several small meals a day, and it helps. I try to have a fat-soluble sugar at least once a day (usually milk).
Having passed the menopause life stage, the pounds don't come off like they used to. I'm not fond of my body style, but I'm okay with it. I'm determined to be a happy crone.
The only advice I can give to anyone would be (and someone else mentioned it earlier) to keep attuned to cravings. I firmly believe that if you crave something, you need it. That doesn't mean a box a chocolates at a time, of course. If you're just dying for a plate of spaghetti, have some. If you ignore it, that craving can build up, and you can start overdoing everything. Just take a little of what you're dying for, eat it very slowly, and be done with it. That may or may not be sound advice, but it works for me.
Another thing, think differently about vegetables. It doesn't have to be a mound of boring green beans on the plate; make them interesting. I love squash casserole, for instance. Potato pancakes, and you can have a touch of sour cream on them if you're careful. Things like that. I now eat far more vegetables than I do meat.
Also, I've noticed the slower I eat, the more quickly I feel full. I usually read while eating, or surf the net. Since it's just me and the husband now, we don't do the formalities of sitting at the table. We're in the den with computers and tv, eating slowly!
My biggest problem is my husband. He is naturally very thin, has a high metabolism. He's a landscaper, so in summertime he's very active, and it is really hard to keep weight on him. I'll cook high-calorie good food for him, but I eat it, too. lol
"Startches in carbohydrates are converted into sugars"..yeah, they sure are and that was a fact I wasn't aware of before Diabetes. So I need to be careful about what I consume in combinations now. I still eat about anything I want though, I just eat differently. I don't think sugar is evil though. You just have to moderate and as time goes by, it gets to be less painful and you're satisfied with less. I snack all day long, I really do, but, because I need less now to fill me up and I now like better choices, I'm still losing.
Sharna, I think like you, if you crave something then you need it. I don't know if that's medically correct, but, it seems right to me. I think when you deny yourself things, you can go nuts and lose control. And when that happens it's easy to say, this is too hard, I failed, I give up.
I have been gaining and losing the same 40 pounds for the last 30 years. I think that is why I am fat. I think my body is used to living within those 40 pounds.Some people flucuate 2 or 3, mines 40. I find that protein is what keeps me from craving but I am not a meat eater. I love love love carbs, pastas and breads. When I do a high protein, low carb diet I am not hungry as much and I have tons of energy. But protein is expensive. Two eggs for breakfast and I used to eat 2 or 3 McDonald hamburgers, no bun, with some green vegs, for lunch and dinner and found that I was not hungry for many hours. But who can afford that or steak every day. I am not a fan of chicken or fish either so it is hard for me. I also found when I cut the crap out of my diet, my mood swings stabilized and I was less grouchy. That shows what all those chemicals do to our brains. So for me a high protein/low carb is the best but of course it is easier to just order a pizza or eat a box of cookies! I am a lost cause.
No, you're not, Lois. You don't even sound that overweight. Maybe you aren't. If you're healthy maybe you ARE at your ideal weight. That model skinny thing is beaten into out heads and it's so wrong. So are the weight/height charts if you ask me.
I don't eat a lot of meat now. And I don't miss paying for it, that's for sure. I should do a post on the cost of groceries. OMG, I think we all relate to that.
Since I changed my evil ways (heh) I now gag at the suggestion of McDonalds. I still take Lis there sometimes, but, I just have the coffee. McDonalds is just vile to me.
oh i agree about craving food you need (Except of course chocolate! :D)....when i first had pneumonia i was soooooooooo sick i lost a lot of weight...when i started to get my appetite back i craved BACON....lots of bacon...how fatty is bacon?
and i don't eat that much red meat but every once in awhile i will crave it....if i don't want it at that time, i have found if i just eat a lot of protein, it will satisfy the craving....
Pat, that was my wake up call too.
I don't know what happened but when I turned 40 my body turned against me.
I am ashamed to say that 6 years ago I weighed 360 lbs. I had diabetes, bad bad knees I could hardly walk.
In 2003 I had gastric bypass surgery. I have lost almost 200 lbs, my diabetes is gone.
My knees are still bad but the doc said you can't undo the damage that is already done. I am 50 now and have had my knee replaced twice already.
Even with the bypass surgery I still have to watch what I eat because over time your stomach stretches and you can eat more food.
The bad knees make it hard to exercise but I walk and swim. Swimming is very good exercise and easy on the joints.
Some people say bypass surgery is the easy way out but believe me it is not. I was so sick the first year I could barely eat. They didn't do the little hole surgery when I had it. I have about a 10" scar down the middle and had to have a hernia repaired there also.
If I hadn't had that surgery, I am sure that I would be dead now.
To the discouraged dieters - you can't believe how nice it is to change your taste buds, at your own pace of course.
I had to go through a process that took years, because I never really forced myself to do anything for long, just enough to try it for myself.
This is what worked wonders for me, and it was painless and easy most of the time, because I chose to pass on food when I wanted to and ate it when I wanted to:
1. Drink way more water than you think you need. The more you drink, up to 3-4 liters a day, depending on your size, the more you'll pee (annoying) and the more you rehydrate your cells.
2. Eat as many raw vegs as possible everyday. Wash some lettuce, peel some sweet carrots, etc and eat them while you watch TV or are online. Don't think you can overdo it, you can't. (I've tried). When you're sick of raw, eat them cooked with oil or butter, garlic, herbs, cheese, etc, but NOT factory-processed sauces, make your own.
3. Eat whatever else you want.
Result: as long as you start putting the really healthy, juicy stuff into your body (DAILY!) the other stuff doesn't hurt you nearly as much. You grow used to the water and raw vegs and are able to eat more and more of it. Of course there's not as much room for the processed food and since you can have as much as you want of it, you never have to feel 'deprived'.
I used to eat as much Haagen daaz as I wanted every day, sometimes more than two cartons, till I was sick. ( I wish I had bought stocks in that company. Maybe I could have bought a house with the amount I spent on ice cream) I still lost weight over time because the above protocol worked for me. Now, I haven't craved ice cream in so long, it's been several years, so I never eat it. I make my own cakes and cookies etc from really healthy ingredients and eat as much as I want.
Good luck to all the dieters!
One more thing.
There's a book entitled 'You're Not Sick, You're Thirsty". I heard about it long after I experienced months of pain worse than childbirth - a herniated disc.
I cured it where doctors failed, by drinking lots of water for several weeks. I didn't know drinking all that water would cure it, I was just trying to follow my friend's suggestion of natural ways to restore health to my aging body.
I know most people won't believe this, we have to experience things personally to understand them. So try it for yourself. Not a few glassfuls here and there, but really go for it while you're near a bathroom.
I live with a chef, and I work in a fine dinning restaurant. So I have lots of temptations and I just try not eat big portions. I am packing around some extra pounds. My excuse, "looks bad for a chef to be married to a skinny girl." yeah kinda lame.
Ok, so I'm going to share the secret to success with all of you. First off, let me give you a little background. I am 31 with 2 kids aged 14 and 6. I am 5'9 and have battled with weight my whole life. I was an average sized kid. A chunky pre-teen/early teen and then got really skinny right before I started high school. I got pregnant at 16 had my baby at 17 and by time he was 2 I weighed 196 pounds. By time he was 4, I gained eating disorders, starving myself, binging, purging ( you know the drill) I was skinny!!! So skinny, people asked my parents if I was anorexic. I didn't care, I thought I was hot to trot! Oh, did I mention I was also a chain smoker??? Fast forward.... I divorce my sons dad, later get remarried and have another child at 25. My weight hovered between 150 and 155 after I had lost the baby weight. I finally quit smoking ( October 3rd was 2 years smoke free... thank you!!! If you want my tips on that I will be happy to give them) and I gained 13 lbs. I was now pushing 170 and decided I wasn't trading one bad addiction for another. I started walking, I started picking up fitness magazines instead of hollywood gossip mags, I kept a food journal for awhile until I figured out portions . I turned my walking into jogging, I joined a gym. I now work out 4-6 days a week. I started eating better. fruits, veggies, lean meats, water. Cutting out all the fast foods and processed foods I was eating every day. I still eat them but in moderation ( sometimes I still binge and I pay for it for several days after!) I don't crave all the fast food crap and junk food like I used to. Alot of the things I used to eat, gross me out now. I have figured out, it isn't about dieting, it isn't about being skinny, it is about being healthy. It is a TOTAL lifestyle change. I feel so strong, I have muscles now!!!!! My husband tells me I look like I jumped off a wheaties box ! Ha! You really ARE WHAT YOU EAT!!!!! ( and sometimes I am junk) and that s ok, as long as the next day, I pick myself up, take my butt to the gym and eat better. Hope this helps. It's really about staying active and eating healthy non or low processed foods. No magic tricks ( no pun intended!) So today, I around 135, strong, healthy and feeling better than I ever have and hopefully setting a good example for my kids!
Oh yes, I forgot, knowledge is power. If you read and watch the process of how food is made (The dd's post is a perfect example)and really learn what all the chemicals are and figure out that that it's made out of stuff that really wasn't supposed to be eaten, it makes it a little less desirable and alot easier to pass up.
Yeah, I am a fatty fatty 2 by 4, cant get thru the kitchen door. Okay, not that bad but some days it feels like it.
One day I decided enough was enough. Started going to the gym. Walking, elipticals, etc. I was doing good. Then my back decided to speak up. No..No no fatty..NO!
So now I have the surgery coming. After that, I will be back at the gym.
I know all about nutrition, diabetes pyramids, glycemic index, etc.
You can know it all but you have to do it for it to work. Sounds easy right?
No, it can be damn hard if you have other reasons that drive you to eat.
I had a shitty childhood. I know that is why I eat. Plus boredom, being lonely (yes, you can feel lonely on a house full of people).
I will conquer this.
Surgery..
Recovery..
My first tattoo for posterity..
and back to the gym!
These stories are so touching and inspirational. I know that my biggest hurdle in losing weight and quitting the cigs is getting my head in the right place. Barring any medical problems that can keep a person from losing weight - the biggest obstacle for most people is having the right frame of mind. You may think you sincerely want to lose the weight but you make excuses for your failures and think it's a lost cause. Depression plays a big role in creating a "I don't give a fuck" attitude. The next step is figuring out what you are depressed about. But once you can get in the right frame of mind than all these helpful tips can actually come into play.
I know why my head is so farked up. It goes way back to my childhhod. But, at one time several years ago I had finally got my head on straight and after reading every book by Dr. OZ I began to make healthy lifestyle changes. I stopped smoking, kept a log of everything I ate and followed strict guidelines on the amount of carbs, protein and fats I was injesting, cut out the sodium and sugar, and started taking the supplements that OZ suggested. I also bought a treadmill and even though I could only walk at 1.5 MPH for 5 minutes on that first day I kept at it and after several months I was up to 3 MPH for 30 minutes at a time. I eventually was walking 5 miles a day! I never felt better and lost 40 pounds in 4 months. But then the unthinkable happened... I had a heart attack! After that I couldn't get my head on straight. Even though my cardioligist told me that if I contunue with my lifestyle changes it was possible to live another 20 years (I didn't believe a word he said) I found myself dwelling on death all the time. I thought my days were numbered and every night when I went to bed I figured I wouldn't wake up in the morning. Both my parents died in their sleep - my mom was 50 and my dad was 39. And both of their deaths were heart related. Instead of the heart attack making me even more driven to keep up with the healthy lifestyle changes I had been on it worked just the opposite. I gave up and started smoking again. I stopped getting on the treadmill and started eating anything and everything I could get my hands on. I figured if I was going to die any day then there wasn't any sense in depriving myself. I know that sounds dumb but I have to tell you that I literally thought I was going to die at any time. Two years have passed since the heart attack and my poor abused body is still hanging in there. I feel like I've let my body down and I'm ashamed and disgusted with myself. Last week I finally started to come around to thinking about getting healthy again. I am determined to do it and have decided that even though I could still die at any time from any number of causes I am determined to become as healthy as I possible can.
Thank you, Pat, for providing a place for all of us to come and share out stories - the joys and the sorrows.
I was always average leaning towards thin. In my forties, pre-menopause, I lost a lot of weight. I really thought I had cancer or some kind of disease. I ate, no kidding, only sweets, 2 ice cream cones per day , about 3-4lbs. of fudge per week and plenty of cake, pie,chocolate, etc. I could not gain weight for 9 years!
Well, now I've hit menopause full throttle and bam! overnight I gained mega-pounds.
I am very depressed now and know that I need to exercise and change my bad eating habits, but it is very,very hard.
This post may be just what I needed to get up off the couch(and computer) and out the door!
Thanks DD!
DD, I agree with the weight/height charts thing. I think they are bogus. ever since I hit puberty, I weighed 145/160 and I'm 5'4", and looking back at my photos I looked amazing, and could wear all kinds of pretty clothes, and very low rise jeans. I used to eat what I liked (usually stuff that was good for me, since my mom cooked for both of us), walked everywhere cause I didn't own a car (didn't need it), lived in a three story building with no elevator. I still wanted to lose the "extra" pounds.
But here's the deal: After a year and a half of being in the US as an exchange student I weighed almost 200 pounds, and it was horrible for a 16 year old, my self esteem went to the floor. After that I used to travel to the US a lot, sometimes my family on my mom's side would buy me a ticket to go visit them. When I stayed more than a month, I would gain 20-30 pounds that I would drop when I went back home. Long story short the weight dropped within weeks of being back home. Now that I live here, there's no way I can drop what I've gained.
With getting married and all, I cook fresh, drink lots of water, no sodas, no fritters, but I don't deprive myself of things I like either. I have activities, those of you who know a little about me know that I am a dancer, I drill a total of 9 hours a week working all parts of my body, and I have more flexibility than some of my skinny friends. But what I've put on hasn't come off ever since I moved here. I am still at the 200 mark, I hate it, but I have learned to accept it. Apparently I can't do anything more about it, and now I'm not even trying, it's so frustrating, so I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, I KNOW it isn't MY fault. It makes me wonder what corporations put in their food products, their vegetables, what they feed their animals, what kind of junk goes into processed foods. I know I'm doing my part.
I did use weight loss pills several years ago, twice, and I vouch for them, but the treatments are expensive. The weight stayed down and didn't mess up with my body on the long run: Herbalife (herbal supplement) and Xenical (Orlistat, like Alli but the dose of each pill is double).
As non-judgmental as this blog is, it is still difficult for me to talk about weight here.
I was a large baby, way past my due date and still nine pounds, with my skin lying flat on the crib next to me (babies can start to lose weight after their due date). By the time I was six months old, I was 35 pounds. I've always had the tendency to be bigger--not taller--than other girls my age. I remember the embarrassment of being weighed in the classroom in elementary school, with other kids watching, and jeering.
At the end of sixth grade, I started eating diet candy, and lost about thirty pounds before entering seventh grade. It felt great, and I did lose a little more, but as high school ended, I started dieting again, and have yo-yo dieted ever since.
I have never tried Jenny Craig, but I have done Nutrisystem, Diet Center, Slim Fast, etc.
The only thing that worked, did not make me feel deprived, and didn't cost much was The South Beach Diet. It was started by a cardiologist, not to necessarily make people lose weight so much as to help them become healthier. I lost weight well on this, and did feel good, but had to quit when I lost to a certain level because I was just too anxious about losing more. Apparently I have some unresolved issues that I need to deal with before I can truly be successful at this.
I do want to weigh less, and want to feel better, but health issues this year (pneumonia, followed by two other viruses, shoulder injuries resulting in extended pain, after months of PT, Probable H1N1 and positional vertigo continuing after three treatments, etc.), have kept me from pursuing many things I intended to accomplish.
Growing up we were very poor, but lived on a little farm, and my parents were always planting/harvesting, freezing, canning, butchering, etc. There was always cake, cookies, pie, etc. and food was how my parents expressed love or their own weirdness. (I remember when I was old enough to realize that I didn't really hate cheddar cheese or spaghetti, etc. My mom had always told me I hated these things, and when I asked her why she had always told me that, she laughed and laughed. I guess she thought it was funny that she could lie to a little kid, and prevent that child from trying different foods. Go figure.)
I think I'm about ready to start South Beach again. Wish me luck!
Christina
Christina... It does help to come here and express your feelings as well as read what others have gone through. I feel like we're all friends and can say what's in our hearts without having to worry about being judged. Good luck with your diet!
I was bending over, wrapping my wet hair in a towel and I happened to look at my thighs and they looked like they were melting. I flipped back up and looked at them again and they looked normal. But, I had seen the future and it was not pretty.
In my early 40s I decided to stop relying on decent genes - they'll only get you so far - and start to exercise. I hadn't had a regular routine since I was a teenage gymnast, so that was like 25 years. Instead of joining a gym, I took some saved money and started seeing a certified personal trainer once a week because I had no idea how to exercise and thought I'd probably hurt myself if left to my own devices. It was a great investment.
I see her now every other week and have amassed some free weights, a big bouncy ball, a balance disc and that's all I need to work out at home. No gimmicks. Once I learned how to exercise, I dropped weight and inches and my whole body reformed. I haven't been in this shape since I was 15.
As for food, it's always been kind of utilitarian to me (I grew up on a very bland, vegetarian diet and am still vegetarian but now things are more spiced up) so I look at it as fuel and not comfort.
I had booze for comfort, and cigarettes, but I cut my consumption of those by about 90% in the last year, which was surprisingly easy considering how much I loved them for so long. I guess it was time. When you start taking care of yourself in one aspect of your life, maybe it makes it easier to conceive of doing the same in other parts?
Lu
We humans sabotage ourselves a lot!
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120318757&sc=fb&cc=fp
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