My family is well known for thier horrible holiday gifts, they love to get the cheapest unusable shit imaginable and every year they top themselves. A yodeling pickle wouldn't even make me bat an eye. One year my Aunt Ruth gave me her dead husbands used electric razor. It still had hair in it. Last year my mom gave me glow in the dark lime green sneakers for two left feet. 50 cent tag still on them. What's the worst gift you ever got? This should be good.
41 comments:
And yeah, that is that nerdy kid from Star Treck.
I got a stoopid friendship ring after having talked about marrrige for months. I am no longer with the asshole. This year I really want an Obama Chia!
My first husband always gave me the best gifts. This hubby, not so great. I would never tell him but sometimes I wonder what the hell he is thinking. He loves to buy me jewelry and I HATE jewelry. I am probably the only female that hates it. I have an allergy to all metals and just can't wear it. Aside from those gifts, I have a fundie aunt that always gives me a christian book with her wonderful words of wisdom in it (huge eye roll). My worst gift was as a kid. This is going to sound petty that I can even remember this, but in 2nd grade, when we still exchanged gifts in school before things went to shit.... I gave a gift of a really nice art set/puzzle/jump rope/jacks... I got a 3 page free comic book they gave away at the Montgomery Ward shoe departments wrapped up in tin foil. That sucked....
Monica, the only thing worse than that gift at a school gift exchange would be being the poor kid that gave it. I always hated grade school gift exchange because of the humiliation of being the only kid that had to come up with something that cost nothing.
burnt orange pleather pants from my aunt in 6th grade!
This really doesn't sound so bad but the accompaning picture that was taken when I opened it was priceless.
My uncle's first wife gave the WORST gifts and everyone in my family knew it. When I was around 10 she gave me this shitty tie-dyed canvas picture of what appeared to be Holly Hobbie. Like I said, my face in the photo explains EXACTLY how I felt about that gift.
I don't know what happened to the canvas picture because I don't recall ever seeing it again after that day. There was no way in hell it was going on the wall.
My ex husband and I had our first date in October 95, we began staying at each others places the first part of December for Christmas he bought me a frying pan...why???? Because he wanted me to get up early and make him hashbrowns when he spent the night.
Connie
OMG! The elementary school gift exchange horror!!! & you had to give the techer something. In 6th grade. Hai-Karate was just out, it was THE cologne for me that year. Ok, this is no lie...every kid took their gift up there to his desk 1 at a time. he opened each one, every damn gift was the same thing, a bottle of Hai-Karate! I was humiliated tho to give him my gift. A box of cherry cordials my mom thought he would like. Looking back, I bet he liked my gift the best! But the humilation for a 6th grader to be different, is like dying a thousand deaths.
The worst gift I ever got was radio toilet paper holder. You could tune in while you shit! But just thinking about all the nice things on peoples hands as the use the toilet was enough to make me pitch that thing and it was from my grandmother! EW!!! I loved her but , bad gift. And she of course, got everybody one! LOL
rox
"...the cologne for MEN that year"...not me! Blech! LOL
sorry guys.
When my family gives me something with a bible verse or something to do with religion..its like they are trying to save my soul on x-mas...it drives me up the fucking wall!
LMFAOOOOOO! Some of these are hilarous! Thanks. More, more!
OMG, Connie, the fucking kitchen gifts to a woman from a man suck so bad. Gawd, I hate that. The worst gift from a man I ever got was a GD Bunn coffee pot so I could make him his coffee faster when he stayed at my house. The son of a bitch was worth millions and he gave me a fucking coffee pot. THEN he took it back because his broke. What an asshole.
radio toilet paper? ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!
My ex got me a sweater that was bright red with multicolored sneakers drawn all over it. I never wore it..not even around the house. I don't know what in the world he was thinking buying me that.
My ex never knew what to get me. I took him by the hand and showed him the leather jacket that I wanted.
Imagine my surprise Xmas morining when I opened a box of brand new Kitchenaid pots and pans.
No longer have the ex but they were nice pots and pans. I still have them.
I also went out and bought myself a nice leather jacket.
A good friend bought me a huge cross that hangs on your wall. I'm one of the only "Out" atheists in S.E. Louisiana and I'm not quiet about it. She had a hidden agenda I guess. I regifted it to my divorced aunt who is now redating her exhusband after he tried to move on and date someone else. Crazy B.
I despise religious stuff too and I have an aunt that always makes sure I get some. This year I'm going to shove it up her ass. I hate that old twat.
...a lot of things are going to be different this year.
Every year my in laws gather massive amounts of free crap from Fairs, like pens and tiny tape measures. They divide it up amongst the three kids and each one receives a bag brimming with the shit. Wowee! 25 Free pens, of which only 3 work! Oooooh! A post it note pad with the name of a geriatric doctor on it! Awesome....15 plastic rulers!
Thanks for the huge laugh! I needed it. Those sneakers cracked me up!!!
Worst gift? Probably the 12 month subscription to the Charismatic Christian Bible study.
Worst gift - a huge, red, plastic "train whistle" (as an adult). No clue where that came from. It was like poor Ralphie from A Christmas Story with the pink bunny suit. It is the "gift that keeps on giving" now, though, as the family passes it around to whoever they feel acted like an asshat the previous year ; )
Christmas 1959, all I wanted was a real Barbie doll. Mother said I couldn't have one, they cost too much. She bought me a knock off from G C Murphy's. Just checked, the original retailed for $3. Cheapo doll was such thin plastic it was just a shell that you could squeeze flat. Piece of crap. Several years ago I was cleaning out my Hoarder Mother's house. Found my grandfather's will. His estate amounted to under $10,000, divided 3 ways. My Dad, my uncle and the final third was to be split between myself & four siblings. The two older boys (both out of school) got their money. The younger three of us never saw a cent. Each of us was to get around $650. I think she could have bought me a damn doll for $3. BTW, Grandpa died in 1959.
My ex boyfriend gave me a sterling silver men's braclet that was in the shape of bones one year. Turns out, it belonged to him first.
AHhahahahahhahahahha!!!! Your sneakers beat anything I can come up with.
My sister once gave me a gift card to a department store which *she* loves and which she knows *I* think is utter crap.
She also gave our mom a mop one year.
Alison, can you get your sis to send me a Swiffer mop with about five years of refills?
escrow
here's the worst that I get every holiday: My husband gets up on my birthday, says happy birthday and leaves. Might or might not come back with a card. No present. Ever. Doesn't let me know that he plans on acknowledging my freakin birthday other than his half assed "happy birthday" through morning breath.I spend most of the day upset that he doesn't care enough .He usually ends up giving me money to go get myself something after he realizes for the 14th year in a row that I'm pissed and hurt.
I had a boyfriend who thought buying me a white tube top dress was a good idea. I was about a 42DD at the time and never wore strapless anything.
Why was he buying me clothing in the first place??
My worst gift ever, still haunts me. Christmas when I was 11. My mother gave me the maternity underwear she bought for my pregnant sister (they were too small for my sister), they were HUGE on me. & she gave me a cat wind chime she stole from the neighbor.
Meanwhile, my baby sister got all brand new gifts!
THEN, a family friend felt sorry for me and gave me a $20.00 bill...my mom stole that too.
1. When I was little someone got me these cloth tammy fay baker clowns and easter bunnys. They looked psycho and sat on the shelf ( like most of my toys) my mother wouldnt dare let me play with toys that were used as decoration.
2. Zebra strech pants in the 80's with a zebra top.
3. A crock pot and I was in college. Plus the smore maker..
4. My hubs old stuff anmials and tshirt. His mommy thought it would be cute.
5. Top one his mil giving me stuff that was five fingered discounted with the eletronic tag still hooked to it. Better yet things I gave her a year ago I get it back. Or what I gave her daughter suprise its back again.
Nothing in my life will ever top your lime green sneakers for two left feet. I remember reading about that a few months ago and laughed my ass off. Now I'm laughing all over again.
Just trying to picture your reaction is enough to make me hiccup and have tears running down my face with peal of laughter.
God bless your pain!!
My ex-SIL gave me antibacterial hand soap for Christmas. You know how Bath & Body works gives out the free bottle with purchase of two? Yeah, that was my gift.
I high five my own mom every holiday because I don't have to dread spending holidays with my crappy in-laws anymore.
Oh, after I miscarried my ex-MIL gave me a plush stuffed animal of a lion from the florist shop she worked in...not flowers, but a baby gift! Sensitive, right?
These are cracking me up. Jesssssssssssssuas.
Elizabeth, your ex MIL is a bitch. How mean.
That same dude that gave me the coffee pot once gave me a $1,000 dollar gift card to a store that made custom cow girl outfits. Yeah. I really wanted him killed.
My insane Grandma gave me a gift that my Aunt had previously given to her, still in the same wrapping, just re-taped...right in front of my Aunt. She was always re-gifting and not giving a damn what was from who, etc, so this was not a terribly unusual occurrence. Oh, and of course my hypocritical freaky fundie cousin gave me an "updated" bible. Just what the bible needs: Another translation to twist the original words and stories. If I wanted a bible I'd just steal one like everyone else.
Lu
My husband's millionaire grandmother used to give me things like bottles of used perfume and her old clothes. One xmas she gave me a hideous sweater that stunk so bad of B.O. I had to wash it when we got back to the room. I would have thrown it out but it was so spectacularily ugly I needed to save it to show my friends and family.
I got one of those crappy Campbell's Soup set of four mugs (that comes out at Christmas for $9.99) for my WEDDING - come on! For a wedding??? It's not like I wasn't registered anywhere.
I had given her a crystal mantle clock for her wedding several months before mine. WTF???
I don't think I have ever been that insulted in my entire life!
I haven't talked to her since, and needless to say, she did NOT get a thank you note for that craptastic "gift". What a joke. Nothing says "congratulations on your wedding and many happy years together" like a cheap afterthought from Walgreens on the way to the church!
A Spoon-Pin. That's right, a motherfucking Spoon-Pin. Take a spoon, bend it in half, melt down the handle part of it so it looks like a metal rod, glue pin-thing to it, voila! a fucking Spoon-pin.
It basically looks like you're walking around with the top half of a spoon, or possibly a fork, attached to your shirt/jacket.
But the worst gift I ever got was from my grandma last year.
She gave me a box of candy that was left over from a Christmas party she went to THE YEAR BEFORE. They were so nasty my dog wouldn't touch them.
And my dog eats his own feces.
My sister and brother-in-law got my dear, old, would do anything for anybody, give the shirt off his back Dad a necktie from the clearance rack for Father's Day. They got my brother-in-law's Dad a big-screen TV! And my Dad put my sorry sister's ass through college AND med school. Way to show her gratitude, eh? With a clearance tie. Pfft.
My sister (the M.D.) and her husband remain the cheapest skin-flints (who happen to have the most money) in the family, when it comes to doing anything for my family.
Relatives suck.
Lu: "If I wanted a bible I'd just steal one like everyone else."
LMAO!
You guys crack me up. You really do.
My ex boyfriends parents gave me a rock for Christmas one year.....a rock. I should have beaten him with it. My ex-husband's mother however topped it all when she gave me a bottle of perfume that had been in her attic for eons. The box was faded and scratched and the perfume smelled like cat pee. (This from a woman who liked to shop more than breathe.)
Daphne
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