Christmas is for kids, every year I BEG my family to not get me anything. In my family Christmas presents are always insulting and hurtful. I mean, really. I don't mind cheap..I love cheap, but, the things they get me just hurt my feelings. I mean, how can my mother think I want a pair of fify cent shoes, brown men's tennis shoes? It's like she goes out of her way to find something awful. Like she's saying, you don't mean shit to me. Look, here's proof. And the rest of the clan..no matter how I beg that I don't want Christmas, I am a Pagan, the greatest gift they could give me is to respect that and it costs nothing..but, no. I have to be included. And they hate me. So, the gifts will be there. The used razors, the stinking dollar perfume that smells like gasoline, the cheap stale candy you can't crack with a sledge hammer and it still has the 10 cent sticker on it. The worst is the inevitable box of cheap off brand chocolates. Now it's diabetic chocolate. If I hate chocolate then why would taking the sugar out of it make me hate it less? It's so fucking gross. I would love a pair of socks from the dollar store. I would so love a fruit basket..I have never gotten a fruit basket in my life..that's not lame. I'd love it. I love that sausage that comes in a package around this time of year, with the little cutting boards, you know, the gifts that are supposed to be lame and cheap, but useable. Oh, how about those packs of tea and a pretty cup? I love that shit. But, no. I will get something horrible like always.*
And if I didn't know what they like and go out of my way to find it, I wouldn't care, but, I do. I know all thier favorite colors, what they like and what they eat. Anyway, fuck 'em. It will be the same shit. It's like they use the birth of their savior as a day when they can really fuck me and I have to smile. I wonder what they'd do if I just took their unopened gifts and threw them right in the trash this year? I might.
*
So, what do you want Santa to bring you this year?? What do you hope you get that isn't lame as fuck?
68 comments:
And if you are the kind of person who puts marshmallows in a baggie and calls them snowman farts..I hope you die.
Snowman farts! LMAO!
No shit. They think shit like that is funny to give to me. I think they suck.
i usually get a gift card from a friend....that's my gift receiving usually....last year the kids in the hood got me a bath set with their money which i thought was very sweet....
if you email me your addy DD i can send you the 2010 save ohio stray calendar that has pan & poli' pix in the month of march!!!
BUT, they damn well expect me to spend my money on their fav potted plant, throws in their fav color, nice jammies and matching slippers in their size, etc.
I will Tia, that's an awesome gift!
HAHAHAHA! Snowman farts? That's a new one!
My husband is always thinking on what to get me for christmas. I stopped expecting gifts when I realized that christmas IS for kids. If I had children they would be so spoiled rotten. And living in the woods we don't really get to socialize much with the neighbors. Don't even know their names!
The two best material things I have received for christmas (I didn't even have to ask) were my Panasonic Lumix SLR my husband got for me two years ago, and the awesome KitchenAid mixer my in-laws gave me last christmas. They must REALLY like me!
DD if I had your address I could send you a fruit basket, with yummy washington apples, oranges and other things. For real. I would make sure I don't include ANY chocolate in it.
I sent you an e-mail with photos, hopefully there's still time to post them today!
Yahoo mail is being a cunt. Don't worry, as soon as I get your pics open I will post them, no matter what day it is. I am so sick of yahoo mail. And so sick of blogger publishing my posts before I'm through typing. AHHHHHHGGGGGG!
My daughter DOES get me good presents. She actually knows me.
DD, when they hand you that crap..just take it in, and when they leave, change the tags and re gift all that crap to them, and make sure to tell them how much trouble you went to get them presents!.
I know what that crap perfume smells like. I used to work at a dollar store and spilled it on my shoe one day. Needless to say, I had to throw them out!
The money my parents gave me as a gift I already spent on the boys. I don't expect anything from the old man. He's too broke...hahahahahahah Guess I am too! But he's already planning a big spending spree with the money he is going to make while he skips out on Christmas with me to go work with his brother. I'm thinking a garage full of all his shit packed would be a great gift. I mean that way he doesn't have to do it...right?
K
LOL...love it.
Christmas is for kids. I am so excited to have one this time of the year. He really doesn't understand it though. I tell him Santa is like grandma, he brings presents when he visits! Last year my mother bought him a onesie that said "Who needs Santa, I've got grandparents." He gets mostly educational toys but loves Thomas the Tank Engine so he will be getting DVDs and little figures.
DD, I agree, I would love to send you fruit or something useful. If you answer my email and want to include your address, I would love to send you something. I never had much growing up but we didn't do badly on Christmas so I don't really know bad gifts. I get weird things from my MIL but I don't say anything. At least she knows my favorite color.
As far as what I want, I would love one of those fancy bracelets that you pick out the charms one by one. They are too expensive so I told my husband to forget it. This year I am just happy to have a healthy family and that we are doing okay financially. Anything more is just icing on the cake.
All I want for Christmas is a happy day for all little kids. That's all.
All I want is a robe, short, not heavy. Maybe it would cost $20.00.
I have wanted a KitchenAid mixer for years and years. Haven't gotten it yet. Oh well.
Can't wait to hear what you get DD. I hate to laugh at this, but your relatives are outrageous! I hope we're laughing WITH you.
What I would like is for both of my kids to come home for Christmas. One will, she always does. The other one will again have some lame ass excuse why they can't get back. But as usual they will be able to go to his inlaws. I'm use to it by now, been going on for 5-6 years now, but I'll never get over it.
Pat if I had your address I'd send you my Jello cookbook.
i love to send and receive christmas cards....anyone else???
send me your addy if you want DD readers and i'll send ya xmas card! i have a huge stack going out this week....
misstiaemail@yahoo.com
You're all sweet, but, I need nothing. A good present would be you guys laughing when I post pics of the shit they give me.
Best awful gift yet..one year my mother gave me a green plastic teddy bear bottle full of really foul smelling liquid/gel that had glitter in it. Jesus. It topped the used razor my aunt gave me that had belonged to her dead hubby.
i think if they give you gifts you should act all shocked 'well i thought you were religious? why would you give ME gifts when it's baby jesus' birthday?'.....
tell 'em that consumerism makes baby jesus cries...and i agree with corina, regift their gifts back to them!!!
Pat, I'm in FL until Wed. I'd love to send you oranges, they are delicious this year.
I think everyone would like to send you something,as a thank you, you dedicate a lot of your time allowing us to bitch, keep us smiling and sometimes allowing us a good cry.
I guess it's not a good idea to post your address on the blog, too many crazies?
Awwww, you guys are great, but, really, I don't need a thing, but comments from readers.
Tia, you funny girl. Someone is impersonating you on Heckmess. It's bad.
well as long as y'all know that i am trying to study for a political thought final tomororw (and it's not going very well) and not on a douche bag's website....
why would someone impersonate ME? fucktards.....
I guess Corina and I think a lot alike. Fill out a sticky present tag for each --mom and aunt. As they give you a present, put it in a shopping bag, rattle around in it as you put the new tag on it, pull it out (with new tag on it) and say, "Boy! We must think alike!" Act all suprised (got to have drama) and give her the present back. Wish her a Merry Christmas!-----and run for the hills. Or take pictures of their faces. We would love to see their faces!
We all (and that includes the gals at RWA) know it's not you, Tia. It's a thing the trolls do to hopefully cause fights. They are so ignorant. Matt Heckmess allows it. I will not allow it on here.
LOL Bayou. Evil genius.
I haven't gotten around to reading everything, so I'm sure someone has asked already--How are you feeling? I'm assuming you didn't have to go to the ER. Please go see someone this week!
Since Michael(husband) has been in the nursing home, I've made a promise to myself to take care of everything I've been putting off. First was the hip, then and still working on the back and next week, I'm going to see what can be done about my knee. This is stuff I've been putting off for years because I didn't want to get caught in that never ending cycle of drs. But the time has come! AND FOR YOU TOO!!!!
It's amazing how gift giving can be used to "get back" at someone. My sister in law and her family are really good at this. They re-gift shit all the time but they don't even check to make sure it doesn't look like a re-gift.
My family and I spend a lot of money on them and in return they re-gift our asses. It's not about money either - they are very well off. It's just gross. I'm thinking about boycotting Christmas dinner which is at their house this year.
Tia, I've got 2 finals tomorrow myself; Healthcare Finance and Research Methods.. senior year bullshit, I'm so sick of it. I called my shit job this afternoon to get my schedule for next week and I'm not on it. Nice, a week and a half before Christmas and I'm not working. I wanna call the fire marshal on them for the snow pile blocking the back door. Fuck that minimum wage bullshit..
Anyhow, I haven't gotten a gift since my mother died 5 years ago. I told Sydney all I wanted for my birthday was a homemade card. I didn't get it and she knew how hurt I was. So for Christmas I'm getting a Slap Chop, a hand painted portrait of Mouse, a portrait of Monarch butterflies, and some other surprise 11 year old's artwork. (all in watercolor) I can't wait, I love homemade stuff from her. She finally realized how much it hurts my feelings and now I'm cashing in this year. I started shopping for her in September, thankfully, as I may or may not have a shitty minimum wage part time job. I spoil her because she gets straight A's and doesn't cause me problems. I her a new MP3 player, Lady Gaga CD, 3 art books, skinny jeans from the Avril Lavine collection at Kohls, A guitar, lessons for 6 months, a coat, nightmare before Christmas soundtrack, liquid watercolor paints, brushes, a flat iron, a music stand, Beatles Rockband..
I've been collecting for a few months now.
I'm pretty excited for my Slap Chop too.
Pat, the last gift I got was from my step mother years ago. It was an ugly tin filled with plastic forks. I'm like, why? Meanwhile, my sisters get to rifle through her beautiful jewelry and keep a piece or two, and just because I don't wear jewelry, I get plastic and tin crap.
Shelly, fuck that tin of plastic forks. Who the fuck gives shit like that? Let me know how the kid does with the guitar, I really want to know.
BTW, a battery operated tuner is a great gift for a begginer and they don't cost alot. Really helps.
Miss Tia and Shelly I am right there with you on the studying for finals. I fucking dread my final tomorrow in Organic Chem. The thought makes me want to drink and my 4.0 is in jeopardy. I am asking for a new camera lens for Christmas. I usually ask for a new one every year. They are expensive but I do family portraits on friends and family referrals and some weddings so it pays for itself. I got Jim a new recliner LOL His big ass broke his other one down and it looks horrible, so really that is kind of for me too so I can get his ugly ass old one out of the living room. The kids are making out like bandits as usual. Riss turns 16(ai yai yai) on December 22nd so we get a double whammy. However I always make sure to get her separate Birthday and Christmas because so many asshole relatives hand her a present every year and say "This is for your Birthday and Christmas". That drives me fucking batty. I don't do that for your kids Birthday in July so don't do it for my kid in December!
PS How you feeling today Pat?
made douche bag heckman is own post on my lj....hope he likes it!
douche bag
organic chemistry?!?!?! omg! and the 2 that shelly is taking!! omg! maybe political thought isn't that bad?
having a hard time studying cuz the whore across the street has her music blasting---to bait me....fucking whore....
plus i have a cold and i am tired...
She's got the tuner, and loves it. She's been taking lessons for a few months now. Beside the regular standard music, the first song she's learning is Wonderwall. I also got her a little amp, a handful of picks, a strap with skulls, a case and it really doesn't sound too awful when she practices. It's an expensive project, I'm glad she's sticking to it. We go every Tuesday night to lessons in town taught by a washed up rock star guy. They don't have a music program at her school, and she's young enough to absorb lessons. Me, I forget shit 5 seconds after I learn it.
Tia, I'm going in to the Heckman.. whatever it takes to procrastinate the studying, you know.
Nissa, I lost the Deans list last year to a string of bullshit algebra classes. I couldn't take the pressure, and I have 5 more classes till I'm done. I'll graduate in the summer. 4 fucking years, full time, no break. I went to 2 different schools and the breaks overlapped, so I haven't had more than a few days off in years. I have one of my internships starting in January, I'm really excited to go work in a hospital. My degree's are in Health Care Admin. What are you guys going for?
DD, are you okay? Did your stones flare up?
Nissa, my daughter's birthday is December 29 and the same goes for her. It drives me nuts too. My parents are pretty good about making a big deal about it but my in-laws not so much. I know it's tough to double spend for Xmas and birthday but, for fuck's sake, plan ahead and get something in July or August to gift in Dec. Fucking tightwads.
I got my Kitchen Aide mixer 10 years ago and it is still the best gift ever. I use it mostly for bread making and that first year I made sourdough starter that just keeps getting better year after year. DD, if you were accepting gifts I would send you some. The only thing I want for xmas is a job. Funny little story. Saw this newer model Tbird in town today and this lady had a magnatic sign on the doors that said "HUSBAND NEEDS A JOB and a phone number" LMAO I might have to try that. This year I am giving my daughter my grandmas wedding and engagement ring. They are beautiful. I would have passed them on to her long ago but she's been in Virginia for the last 7 xmas' and would never think of putting them in the mail. And the snowman farts I might pull on the grandkids! Never heard of that before :)
escrow
i'll be getting my BA in history next saturday....
went back last january after 16 years....GPA prior not that good...since returning 4.0....
applying to grad school next month---kent state, history...will be sitting in on a class next semester, invited by prof, to stay in 'school mode' and work on my writing....since i am not paying for it, not grade, and i don't have to take the exams unless i want too! :)
My granddaughter is a Christmas Baby. She will be 5 this year.
We always make sure a couple of weeks before Christmas we have a birthday party for her.
My son wants to start having her party in the summer. Has anyone else done this?
Miss Tia, I thought the Christmas card exchange was a great idea. Check your mail I just sent my address. Thanks for the offer.
I am going for my BSN now. Shelley I also have a business degree with an emphasis on health care admin. I think I am mostly a professional student so I don't have to pay my loans back;) I also hear you about the *(&^*&%&^*(& Math classes. I almost jumped off a fucking cliff getting my BA in business. I am actually only 2 credits away from my MBA but I had to drop out of that program to be able to start the BSN program in August. I couldn't afford to pay for the classes out of pocket so I had to put them off until I am done next year.
Oh and BTW CONGRATS to Shelly and Miss Tia!
I remember when you first posted about the two green left sneakers or something. I couldn't believe it. They know what they're doing, and that's the sickening part.
All I'd really like for the Yule season is to DO some fun things and get enough sleep. And to stop worrying about the state of the world and all the stupid people in it. Yeah, when I'm tired, I'm grouchy.
I'd really be very happy with a 2010 Bentley GT convertible. Anyone have an extra 250 grand they don't need?
Happy holidays, everyone. I hope Santa brings you everything you want.
Cheers.
I want Peace and Quiet, No Mother In Law in my home, maybe a pair of riding pants, a few riding lessons and to laugh a bit more! thanks to DD I do, everyday! Man, I wanna send some fruit to you too, but I know you won't accept.So, I am sending a load full of positive energy your way! bimaxxoo
I don't have any real horror stories about Christmas presents, probably the worst was the year I got a pair of pinking shears from my parents. I think I was sixteen. My dad had had open heart surgery and it cleaned my parents out completely. They owned the house and property outright, but it took every penny of savings, and my dad couldn't work for a long time afterward. I'm not sure what my sister and brother got that year, but I hated those shears, though I knew it was the best my parents could manage. I still feel ungrateful and embarrassed, but everyone I knew got TV's, stereos, etc. and I was too honest to lie about what I had gotten. I actually qualified for the school lunch program, but my friends were such snobs that most days I just wouldn't eat at school rather than endure the snide comments and stares. It's small potatoes compared to what many people go through, but when you're sixteen it seems huge.
My husband says not to get him anything for Christmas this year (we have been strapped with him on disability, and the approval for a continuance of that only coming through last Thursday). I just nod when he says that, and then I do what I damn well please. I just am not financially able to shop yet. I told him that he should just have the beautiful watch he got me for Valentine's Day sized so that I can wear it. It won't cost much. Our son has a list of things he would like.
I just would like for my father-in-law not to die on Christmas eve or Christmas day. It's not a very nice thing to ask for, but I have been thinking about it so much lately, and I really am worried about it, mostly for my son and husband.
As for your relatives, I can't even imagine receiving some of the gifts you have gotten. I am puzzled that you do attempt to get these people things that they actually do like, though. You didn't ask me, but I think you should do what you're comfortable with. You seem like the type of person who maintains a little kernel of hope that this year might be different, that at least one of them will make a little more effort. I'd like to say I feel like Corina 1.0---that you should re-gift them their own pickings or something similar, but I don't think I could actually do that myself. It would feel too mean-spirited, when that is not supposed to be what the season is about. It would bring you down to their level, and what is worse, it might make you feel badly about it later. I think the best thing you can do, if you can afford it, is to go out and buy a beautiful fruit basket, for yourself. People buy themselves presents all the time, and I think that sometimes people just need some sort-of permission. Give yourself a nice gift that you will enjoy, in honor of the season.
Happy holidays!
Christina
Oh, and congratulations to Miss Tia on your coming graduation!
Christina
Honestly, when elderly relatives give used razors, years-old candy, and tins full of plastic forks as Christmas gifts, my first thought would be that they have dementia. They may have always been mean and crazy, but this sounds like something else. Also the thing with your brother's car and the thing with your yard, DD.
DD, when I first started reading your blog (not sure when that was, but more than a year ago), you seemed to have a better relationship with your mother and aunt. When you wrote about them you did call them crazy and say they did things like buy you inappropriate clothing and such, but you sounded more tolerant and they sounded less evil. What changed? It may be hard to see when the change is gradual and you're in the middle of it, but I would take my mother to the doctor and see if there's something medical going on.
--Jane
All I want for Christmas is a job
lol snowman farts good one...
I don't celebrate xmass for awhile. Ya once in awhile we give out gifts. But I think if you want something than go out and buy it. If you have the $$$ to do this. You dont need one day to go into debt when it takes you 3 years or better to pay back. Life is not about materialistic things. Plus its the most depressing time of the year for alot of people. Im happy when the 31st comes around and the year is over with. Out with the the old and in with the new
Tia, Saturday?
Wow, whats it going to be like to not have shit text looming..
Congratulations, it's quite a task and if I'd known what it was really going to be, I might not have began.
I'm not going to Grad school. I've had enough, and I don't think it's going to make a difference in my earning potential. If I do go back I'll finish a fine art degree I started 20 years ago. Basically, aside from the down and dirty medical coding and billing classes, the rest of the university classes are crap, and $1,700.00 a pop.
well i am gonna sit in on a class next semester at the invite of a professor....won't take the test though!! But i'll do the reading and the writing as it'll be a good practice for grad school!!!
with a history degree you really need more than a BA....and besides, w/o the tests i DO enjoy going to school!
have a final today and i am really woefully unprepared....ARGH....my insane neighbor is starting her insanity again and causing me to have a really bad anxiety attack.....
I'm with you - want nothing for Christmas. I have two little ones and they are the only thing that matters. I remember getting all excited about Christmas and then opening things like a package of underwear. I vowed never to do that to my kids. Christmas is a time for me to completely overindulge them and not feel one bit bad about it. This year the wish list includes a set of drums and a new puppy. They will be getting both. I might have to get loaded to deal with the noise and dog shit on Christmas Day ; )
LOL @ Double LY! That sounds like a great Christmas! Your kids will be so happy, and what's a little puppy poo and noise between family?
Christina
Jane, what changed it all was my trees. I always made excuses for her before that, you know, like, well, she's stupid as fuck, she meant well. But, that tree incident was so deliberate. I had just told her how much I loved those trees. She knew. She was just being hateful and mean and controlling and there is no longer an excuse for her behavior.
It just woke me up. It was like a blinding flash of truth and it hurt.
I'm sorry.
--Jane
I't okay. I have some things I can write about now that I never would have before. These things work out.
Tia, is that a Fellowship you're speaking of? Thats a great honor to be invited. I wish I had more professors that didn't have Elitist attitudes and were happy to share without being Cunty. The program I'm in is competitive and consultants can make $700 a day. I'll never go that far. I'm just looking for a job that is less labor intensive than my past work choices. I hate filling out the end of class survey too, it's a week before the final grade is given out and I'm scared the instructor will see it before my grade is recorded. I gave this latest instructor a doosie too!
Fuck it, if she flunks me, I'll fight it. I hope Pats okay.. I just went outside in my jammies to take a bag of trash out and fell on my ass on the ice in my driveway. (third time in as many years) My knee popped, I haven't moved too much yet, I'm working on my bullshit finance final, and can't be injured.
Tia, I'm trying to create an ID on live J, so I don't have to bore these nice DD people with my middle age, gone back to school griping. I'll take it to you so we can comfort each other in our time of need.
I don't celebrate Christmas but I still send out cards to my friends who do and buy presents only for my best friend. She sends one back. Its enough for me. It doesn't have to be shiny or expensive. It's her love and thought that matters most.
I too want a job for Christmas and the rest of the year. I hate this jobless state.
DD, sorry for your crazy family but you're not the only one that has that horror as I've a friend who I swear I'd run away and change my name if I were her.
Congrads to all the students. I envy you all too. I'm too old to want to try anymore schooling. I did go back in my 30s but bills caught up to me and I never finished.
All the best holidays to all of you wonderful people.
@shelly, just create LJ...you never have to use it...just log in and add me as a friend...if you have problems, just send me an email misstiaemail@yahoo.com
not a fellowship...i'm just sitting in on the class, but it WILL help me majorly for grad school! and no test pressure! :)
I hope to get an engagement ring from my boyfriend.
My STBX-MIL was a champ at gifts as weapons too. She'd ask you if you liked something like she was going to get it for you and then get something else all together. She'd get stuff with defective stickers on it or obviously too small and say you could wear it in the summer when you lost weight.
As for this year, I'd like my divorce to be final before Christmas and my "friend who acts like my boyfriend because he's afraid to commit" to either commit or leave me alone to get over him. I don't want any material stuff, just peace of mind.
I'm hoping the divorce goes through, I'm not too hopeful about the boyfriend part.
Casey J......he'd better get you a nice one too!
Coffee, that weight remark is insulting. So mean.
Pat, that's probably the least mean thing I can think of that she's said, if you can believe it! Glad my petition is being presented to the judge on Monday. I will be officially divorced and I am so glad I never have to see her again.
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