Ahhh, the pipes just thawed out. They were frozen solid and I had no water. I was totally puzzled because I know the pipes get North wind, so I have insulation and heat tape. It's a low rent Iowa trick for dumps that have been plumbed by idiots. I checked it two days ago when it turned cold and it was plugged in and secure. So, damn, the heat tape must be faulty, right? I called a plumber to have it reinstalled and he came in and said "Uhh, your heat tape was unplugged." What the fuck? I went and ask my mother who's been messing around here and first she lied and then she finally told me. She'd called my cousin to do some work for her and while he was at it, she told him to "do something" about my heat tape. I already took care of it, so he must have thought she meant UNplug it. He probably thought she was retarded (I think so too) but, he was just doing what he was told.*
When my mother realized what she had done, she got scared. I could tell she thought I was gonna go off on her. I didn't. I actually laughed. This "taking care of me" senile attitude she has cost her a service call, because I told them to send her the bill. Maybe that's mean, but, too bad. I'm mean, I guess. I reminded her that I put the plumbing in my farmhouse by myself and I think I can plug in heat tape. She can barely take care of herself, why does she think all women are helpless? I guess she was raised in an era where women couldn't possibly deal with plumbing. Anyway, I'm not mad at her, I just wish she'd stop. She'll never stop and I have to pick my battles. And I have to watch her..all the time. There was no real harm done, this time. And no intent to harm, that's the important part. I think she actually did mean well. I just have to be aware..all the fucking time. When I leave I make sure she can't get in here, but, the heat tape plug is outside under a lift up. This constant shit gets tiresome, but, what's a person to do? Have her shipped to Siberia? I'd just piss off Sibera.
*
Talk about laughing, I asked Lissa the other day, what she was going to be when she grows up. She put her finger on her chin and thought. I suggested things. Doctor, nope, teacher, nope, dancer, nope, singer, nope, police woman, nope...on an on, everything met with a quick NOPE. Finally I said, well what?? She said "I'm going to be a frog poker!" I asked what that is and she said it's a person who sits in an office with a long stick and pokes frogs to see if they're dead. I said, I don't think anyone will pay you for that and she said oh, yes, they will. And I asked, who? Who is going to pay you to poke frogs? And she said "The last guy that had that job because he's sick and tired of poking frogs!" LMAO! She kills me. There's her pink Christmas tree, she loves that tree.
31 comments:
I think a frog poker is a fine job to aspire to - I can't believe there are a lot of trained frog pokers in the world, so she shouldn't have too much competition for jobs!
She has quite the imagination. What a hoot!
And sorry to hear about your frozen pipes. That sucks.
She's just the funniest kid. She has this low voice and she's dramatic. She just cracks me up, I've never met anyone like her.
A frog poker! That's awesome. I hope she never stops being a child in her heart. She is truly amazing.
We just started to have below freezing temps here in Oly. We came back from California on wednesday night and it sure is nice to be back to our PNW weather. I had to laugh at the californians shivering and wearing heavy jackets in the 60 degree weather, it sure was nice.
Lissa's hair is getting long. She's so cute--I know you hear it all the time. I'm glad to see you fridge looks like mine. Mine is not big enough so everything ends up on top of everything else.
Can you show a bigger picture of the pink tree? What I saw is really cute!
Stupid question---since I never lived in the north and don't have a clue as to how you would live in really cold weather---how do you keep sewer pipes from freezing? They're in the ground, so how can you keep them warm?
Pat, That's the most beautiful tree ever. No doubt she'll remember it always.
Pam-
That's a beautiful tree, I can see why she likes it.
She is really clever to be able to come up with an idea like that.
I'm sorry to hear about the pipes, too. That had to be tough to live with.
Meissa, you're in Olympia? I thought about moving there a long time ago for a nursing job. It's a nice town.
Christina
Christina, yes I live in Olympia. I love this city, last year it was named the safest mid-sized city in the country. I love the people, the weather and the landscape. Its beautiful.
BayouJane, we usually leave the water trickling when its gonna freeze, but we don't pay for water. We have a well. I know my husband has put a pipe heater outside somewhere. I suppose the city pipes are insulated with the ground, that's the only logical explanation I have for that...
Pat, that gave me a good laugh. Out of the mouths of innocent babes. She is wise beyond her years already. What a doll.
OMG! That kid is so funny!
Meissa, that's a good tip. I always leave my sink doors open and a trickle of water running when it's really cold. Sometimes, it still freezes in extreme weather. Usually I just wait it out. When the sun warms things up in the aftenoon, they unfreeze. You can put a space heater on pipes or use a torch. There's all kinds of tricks. If the weather stays cold and it's still frozen, you have to call a plumber or the pipes will actually split and break, then when it thaws, omg, what a mees. It's a pain in the ass, but, something those of us in cold climates are used to.
The sewer pipes DO freeze once in awhile and the city has to dig up the freeze and thaw it out. We get to 30 below and even lower here in a regular winter, so, everything freezes. Sewer pipes are big though and made of iron, so they don't freeze often. They are deep. anything buried below four feet is not going freeze unless it's extremely frigid. It's insulated by the earth. It depends on the temp and the wind direction.
Bayou, life is too short to organize my fridge. If I open the door and nothing smells bad, I'm happy. LOL. Lots of soda there..no wait, it's uhh, brown organic juice. LOL.
re: staying watchful all the time.
Constantly patrolling that barrier you've put up can drain the reserves after a while. Stay on guard for your sanity but also your strength to carry on your war as well.
I laughed out loud at the part where you laughed at your Mom's realization that she made a huge mistake.
I laughed at Lissa's frog poker career choice as well. The pink tree suits a little girl very well. Romance novelists would also love that tree. But I'd have a frog poker over for dinner before I invited any of those crazy writers into my home.
Dang it...all the pink tree lovers where posting at the same time as me and I didn't see how many there were until after I said what I said about romance novelists....so just ignore that part. It's a lovely tree. The End. =}
OMG Noelle, the House writers have ruined my Christmas. I hate them and I hate Cuddy.
LOL Frimmy. I love that pink tree and I have several others. And I have a sparkly fruit tree too. It makes the dump look all shiny.
Frog poker, hehehe! Awesome, love some of the stuff kids say. I like the pink tree, I did a purple and silver tree this year. Frozen pipes bite the big one. I had valves installed so that I could shut off the water to my hoses inside the house. They froze and I had to have a plumber come out and use some electrical thing to thaw them, yikes!
Pretty in pink both Lissa and the tree!
I have the best frozen pipe story in the history of the modern world. Could and should write a book but can't due to a nondisclousure agreement. All I can say is the incident involved a brand spanking new house, I was away and 2 water pipes burst. 337,000 gallons of water flowed thru the house. The water bill was $1500. The house had to rebuilt from the foundation up.
escrow
DON'T USE A TORCH!! I have a friend whose husband accidentally BURNED THEIR HOUSE DOWN using a torch to unfreeze their pipes!
Too cute.
Frog poker! I bet she could get a government grant for that...
Lissa is sooo cute...tell her I said her tree is the most beautiful tree I have ever seen....
Definitely...if Lissa moves to Canada when she grows up, someone will be throwing money at her and her frog-poking endeavours.
I smile every time I see that gal's picture, I just love her hair!
I had absolutely no idea that Idaho got as cold as -30F. That's friggin' cold...we get our share of days like that up here, I wouldn't with that on anyone. Well, maybe your mother...
LOL>>> hahaha Lissa frog poker.. omg you have to write that one down. So some day lissa can see that one.
Kylie'smom..it's Iowa. Corn, not potatos. LMAO.
OMG escrow. I had it happen in a rental once. Crap furnace, landlord wouldn't fix it. Worked a double shift and came home to a fucking frozen igloo. Ice everywhere. Busted toilet, the works. It's terrible.
I LOVE your tree! Pink is the bomb. I think a frog poker is a great profession. Congrats to Lissa!
Oh, I apologise lol...I knew it started with an 'I', and Idaho was the first to come to mind.
Easy mistake. Iowa is nothing but corn and hogs. It has pretty tree lines and lots of wildlife though.
DD- Lissa is adorable & very funny! I'm a little upset that Lissa got to the frog poking as a job idea,before I could call it. Foiled again!LOL
DD- Tell Lissa that her tree is so beautiful & I wish my tree looked like that.
LOL 10 doll. I'll tell her.
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