Jake picked Vienna. I watched even though there were spoilers all over the net. I'm not a quitter and I wanted to see Tenley break down when Jake told her to take her ballet slippers and Minnie Mouse voice and hit the road. Tenley disappointed me by repeating over and over "Thank you for showing me I can love again" or some such nonsense. I'd have kicked him in the gonads and yelled "You want some cross eyed farting bitch princess with fake boobs and a bad weave? Fuck you, dork." But, that's just me.*
Jake told Tenley there was no spark, no passion. She pretended not to understand and came back on after the last rose to "face Jake" and make him answer questions...for closure..you understand. Tee hee. That's where I finally had a laugh out of all this. In a sickeningly understanding way, Tenley told Jake that if he had such passion for her, she wouldn't want to be the other girl he chose. Uhhhh, bitch, that's not what he said. He clearly told her to her face that the spark (aka good dirty nasty humping) wasn't there. I guess English is Tenley's second language?
*
And so..we learned that when dealing with dorks, who are good looking, but, not used to more than a one night stand because they're too damn boring when the women sober up..it's best to use the not so secret weapon of dork destruction to win the rose. Ass play and blow jobs. Vienna may be cross eyed and most of her conversations are with her daddy's checkbook or her poodle..but, she fucked Jake's lights out. Jakey like.
*
We also learned that fan fave Ali will be the next Bachelorette. Good news, because the timing will be perfect for Jake. Once Vienna cleans out his savings account and goes home to Daddy, Jake can tell Ali he made a mistake and try and win her back. Ali should like that, except Jake will never be the same. Bad things happen to dorks when they get dumped by women who suck golf balls through garden hoses. Good TV, yep.
7 comments:
Jakey liked. OMG that cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh this morning. I needed it with all the freakin' snow coming down.
That dress Tenley showed up in cracked me up. It looked like a wedding dress and then he said, pack it up, tootsie, I need some fucking. Basically. Bwaaaaaa ha.
DD did you see the latest on the dork
Jake he's gonna be on dwts next
alongside that fake Take Gosselin
He will feel at home with the fake weave
wonky eyed orange tanned silicone tahtahs
and ever so greedy $ luvin freebie grabbing B.
Vienna better keep her crossed eyes pealed
just in case u never know take may give her
fiancé a hot Richard and jakey go by by ;(
Kiki
Ha ha ha. DD the dress afterward which
looked like it was viennas olde frock
cut the long skirt off and fashioned into 1
poufy arm was LOL ! Kiki :-))
OK...since when do edeucated women think this shiz is for realz? I am being serious. I am reading it all over the place about how much ppl care about this BS. Really? It's a f'g TV show!!! It's not real. You don't pick your lifelong mate from a group of skanks chosen by a TV producer and talent agency! If you do you are in need of serious mental health therapy. Wow...so this IZ real? I woulda never thot it!!! Thats why I never ever watched it either!
rox
After looking at that photo it occurs to me that there IS such a thing as having teeth that are too white. You're supposed to have a little color in there, people. Sheesh.
My brother-in-law and his partner(male), swear Jake is gay, no doubt about it. I agree. Guess that will be the next shocker, when he comes to grips with his sexuality.
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