I'm sitting here in my kitchen with every trash can full and I can't empty them because I have no garbage can. My mother took all the cans for her "remodeling" project. So I went and bought an extra one and she took that one too. I asked her where my garbage can was and she looked at me blankly and said "I used to have three." Well, yeah, but, a wind storm took one. By her reasoning, if someone steals my car, I can just take the neighbors car because I used to have one. Right? I tried to explain that to her, but, she just looked at me like I was speaking Japanese and said "But, I used to have three." I gave up and bought another one. I hid it at the side of my house. She took that one too.
*
Only this time it's filled with silly shit..books, records, old rolls of wallpaper. It's like she had to search through her hoarded junk to find something to fill it up with. So, I can't put my trash out and I'm stuck living with garbage until Tuesday when the truck comes. If I put the bags out now, her 37 cats will tear it up. So, this month I've spent over $40 bucks on trash cans and I still don't have one. People think this shit is amusing, but, this shit is not amusing. Crazy is not amusing.
Only this time it's filled with silly shit..books, records, old rolls of wallpaper. It's like she had to search through her hoarded junk to find something to fill it up with. So, I can't put my trash out and I'm stuck living with garbage until Tuesday when the truck comes. If I put the bags out now, her 37 cats will tear it up. So, this month I've spent over $40 bucks on trash cans and I still don't have one. People think this shit is amusing, but, this shit is not amusing. Crazy is not amusing.
*
She had her handy man clean up most of the "remodeling" trash, finally, but, he left a big pile of broken cement chunks in front of my house. When I asked her why they weren't removed she got a big smile on her face and said "Those are for you! You can make a rock garden." Really? Because they aren't rocks. They are cement chunks. I want to chuck them at her fucking head, but, I can't lift them.
29 comments:
Your mother sounds sweet, loving and demented all in one. Maybe you are lucky ;)
You're new here. I hate her.
The butterfly got one outta three right....
snowbunnie
good thing i wasn't drinking something when i read butterfly's post saying "sweet, loving" in conjunction with your motherthing DD! it'd have been all over the screen!!
i'd fucking pay a cousin to move those rocks ide her door....or make a trail of rocks thru her yard and tell her it's 'art'....paint each rock a color....
or fucking get a sledgehammer and smash the fuck out of them...
LOL at Butterfly.
How about emptying the trash can with the silly shit in it on her front porch and take your empty can back home? I'm nice, but there is no way I would put up with anymore of her crap.
~Palmetto Girl
If I empty her shit, I'll be the one cleaning it up because she loves junk in the yard.
I'm not strong enough to sledge hammer them, Tia. She exhausts me with her crap. She also stole a plant stand. Her reasoning? I wasn't using it, so she figured I didn't want it. It's fucking March. In Iowa. Jebus cripes on a fucking crutch.
You know what cement blocks are good for? Weighing down bodies.
LOL & PAL @ iambriezy!!! You just made my day!
Seriously, I don't know how you can stand it, Pat. Seriously. It's like any move you make, crazy is there staring you in the face. Either she doesn't comprehend, or it's an act, and she is pure evil. Who on earth treats their kid like that? Pardon me for saying so, but she is one sick bitch.
You should not have to deal with this, especially having the health issues you have had recently.
You should take her cats to the pound, since she isn't "using them".
As far as getting rid of some of the garbage, you could (if you wanted to) use my mom's method. Bag up small amounts, and deposit them in different locations in town when you are out and about, running errands. If they are small amounts, and you are going in stores, anyway. . . it's very difficult for anyone to complain. I am not suggesting this as any sort-of long-term solution. This is just a way of making things more habitable now. I hope that things get better for you. I really do care about you, Pat.
I care too, Pat, and the butterfly almost made me spit my water all over the monitor. I have an idea; why don't you and I pick a town somewhere between yours and mine (Monroe LA) and I'll meet you there and we'll get a duplex or something--then we'd each have a good neighbor! I hate my town too. What say you? :)
You guys are the best lol. Would you believe I was practicing saying two positive words before telling someone I barely know their mother is demented :D I really love your blog DD!
Pat - I feel so bad for you.
And guilty about it, cause I'm laughing at the same time.
Listen - if your sainted mother has stolen your garbage cans and filled 'em up with all of her precious shit, I'd make a point of getting up a bit early on garbage day and wheeling all of those cans to the curb (still filled with "treasure") for trash pick-up.
And if she screams at you, just stare at her with a blank face and say "But you had THREE of them."
And that explanation would make about as much sense as her reason for stealing yours to begin with.
Tit for tat.
DD ..tell your mother that she should take all the "rocks" to help hold down all the new trash cans she "acquired."
ROFL iambriezy!! I almost spit my coffee out!
I would drag that garbage can with all her crap in it out to the street and fill it with my bags and anything gross I can think of. She treats it like garbage..then garbage it shall be. She needs a one way ticket to an elderly residence..far far the fuck away from YOU!
((((Big Hugs))))
Hey Butterfly, hang around a while! She's not sweet, she's not loving and she is extremely demented! The bad part is, she is convinced that she is right. It's hard to fight that! Maybe you can take her to visit your brother and you can leave her there. Or take her for a ride far, far away. When she needs to go to the bathroom, let her out and take off.
There's got to be an answer to this!
Oh! And Butterfly, wait around for Xmas---it really gets fun then!
Oh DD I'm so sorry ! That hoarder of junk
has now become a thief & still keeps up the blatent
lies. Get a giant roll of duct tape an tape her in
her house from the outside seal the edges around the door frames and windows too. Do not answer your tel
just disconnent it if u have too. Idk crazy deserves
to get crazy back. Idk how u don't ring her neck ?
You are too good to her and her sis. Don't take
them to the dollar general anymore tell them to
get lost and don't come back. How is lil
Lissa doing these days. Having fun at school
I guess. I hope this mess doesn't stop you seeing
her and having her come over. Sheesh ! Kiki :/
DD seriously try the duct tape thing !
"She exhausts me with her crap"
your mom sounds like a wretched old vampire, dd. i wish there was a way you could get the hell away from her. i had a mom just like her. she nearly sucked the life out of me.
blessings to you for putting up with her. you're a lot more tolerant to her and to her psychotic sisters than she or they deserve.
reading the other thread about raw food/vegans got me to thinking about a certain episode of trading spouses with some lovely cajuns who traded with a particularly nasty vegan, and then the episode with the god worrior came to mind.
they should sell those old laughing bags that you could buy in atlantic city back when i was a little kid. gawd worriah's voice replacing the laughing sound box. we could hook it up to go off every time your mom came near your trash cans, or darkened your door step, even. margaret perrin's voice would screech from the depths of the trash can:
DARK SIDED!!! GOORGYLE!!! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! YOU'RE NOT A CHRISTIAN-UHH!!! TAINTED!!! SLYKICK!!! I REBUKE YOU IN JESUS" NAME!!!!
xo
~diz
I have been laughing out loud since i caught up on the last open post of a couple days ago.
This one is getting just as funny. maybe it's just my twisted sense of humor. But i digress.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT you know who!
How about just trying not to make any trash until she gets over her trash can obsession. Just kidding.
Let's hire someone to wack her. No that's just wrong.
I like the idea of sending her some place. not to torment your poor brother though.???hmmm
She sure does get a lot of mess made for an old confused ignorant woman. Damn.
Holy shit Butterfly!!
You do miniatures! Do you have dollhouses? If so, which ones?
It is very cool when I find another mini person.
i bookmarked your blog and will be sharing it with some of my mini friends.
too cool. made my day.
diz... you were spot on with the God Warrior. That woman was scarey! And the rest of the family seemed normal! But all didn't end well for her. I feel sorry for the rest of the family because of the death of the daughter---but I just couldn't find any pity for her. She was so out of control.
And the vegan and cajun switch, I thought I was going to choke when the brought out the alligator heads to give to the vegan friends!
Hey DD, I hope you are bravely planning another beautiful garden this year...I loved the pics last summer.
It's not often we get to see a new person who doesn't know about DDs mother. It's really rather sweet when they try to think up nice things to say. I, too, was taking a drink when I read your post butterfly. I also almost choked. If you ever find yourself with a couple of hours to kill you should skim through this blog looking for posts about DD's mother-thing (as she calls her). The absolute only way to describe them are hilariously horrifying. You'll be laughing and shaking your head and then you'll read about the time she had DD's garden dug up and you'll almost cry.
I agree with Cynthia. Can't you just take the trashcans out (or at least one of them) and have her stuff dumped? If she knew that was bound to happen, it would be doubtful she would fill them up again, no?
Visionary - love the miniatures! And yes, if this is the only "mother thing" post you have read, it could be assumed she is just demented. Keep reading...
Sorry DD, I think I would have been so pissed, I would have taken MY trash can, turned it over and dumped the shit right in front of her door. Then I probably would have heaved the fucking can right through her window. After I retrieved it, I would have put a chain and padlock on it. If she touched it again, I'd call the cops. But that's me. Menopause made me this way.
DD, leave. I'm sure you can find a way. It's the best thing you could do for yourself or for Lissa.
Thankyou Mich & Heidi!!
@ iambriezy, lmao! Thanks for the giggle.
board up her house from the outside like it's night of the living dead & she's the Zombie. How you haven't run off with the circus already I don't know.
Sorry DD. I wish I had a solution for you, these people really are like some kind of vampire, constantly draining you & keeping you worn out. If I had the cash I'd give it to you so you could flee the country or just move to somewhere more to your liking. No one deserves this craziness.
hi bayoujane! actually, it was your screen name and the justin wilson comment (anything associated with justin wilson can get me to feeling a bit nostalgic. loved his show, just to hear his funny stories and lovely accent. miss him to bits) that made me think of that adorable bayou family.
i am sorry for the late response...after reading your response, i just had to look up about margaret perrin's daughter! i had no idea that ashley had died. her poor little daughter.
yes, that was scary. i felt so sorry for that family she switched with. man, i was a little bit jealous! to spend a whole week and get free astro readings and not just for me...my whole family. (i've been dying to find someone to interpret my daughter's birth chart yods who won't charge an arm and leg...but, of course, that's DARK SIDED!!!! and i must be rebuked. ;) ) lol but damn how hard would it have been to look past the goorgyles and the tainted dryer and just chill with super nice people?
you're so right about that bayoujane- her husband and two daughters were just so normal...and sweet. i honestly hope it was a mixture of editing and attention whoring on the gawd warrior's part. because if she is really that heinous, heaven help that poor little girl.
ill try not to be too unkind regarding that barbara gates vegan activist, but if anyone man-handled my kid the way that she did that cute little zz loupe, (not to mention that sweet little dog) i'd stick my foot so far up her ass she'd be choking on it for a month. zz's dad diego deserved a medal for extreme chivalry for not snapping on that beastly harpy- or freeze drying her and feeding her to the gators. i'd better stop now, before i get too mean about her.
i loved everything about the bayou mom. she was so sweet. and yes! especially loved the gator head moment. but those ladies seemed at least a little more gracious about it than the "i kill black widow spiders because they might kill my kids, but you should be cast into the cornfield for killing rattle snakes before they bite and kill your son" smug turd face.
i am a pesce-vegetarian, but boy would i have loved a dish of her yummy gumbo over some rice...WITH SAUSAGE. and would have eaten the whole thing just to spite those jerks. nothing more annoying than self satisfied militants. unless it's a self satisfied, hypocritical, militant, vegan animal rights activist who beats little dogs! ugh.
oops! sorry this one was so long!
i love this blog and read it so much that i forget to comment, and when i do i tend to go on and on.
nice chatting with you!
xo
~ diz
Post a Comment