The total unhinging of Kelly Bensimon

First of all, I would like to thank the Real Housewives Of NYC for last night. After a shitty week, this was a gem, a gift from the Goddess. I haven't laughed like this in ages. It was the total unhinging of Kelly Bensimon, something I've waited three seasons for. I always knew she was an idiot with the IQ of a bean, but, this..this was something special even by my demented standards.

*
The episode started off on a beautiful yacht called the Olga. I have been many places with many different kinds of people, even the filthy rich, but, I have never stayed on an Olga. Truly beautiful and impressive. Ramona's treat, it's her bachelorette party for celebrating her renewal vows to that goof ball hubby of hers, Mario. Most uncomfortable relationship to date..I don't think Mario even lives with Ramona, but, who cares? The thing about being on a yacht is..you are trapped. In the Virgin Islands, true, but, you still can't hail a cab when things go bad.

*
It all started out nice. Jill Zaaaaaaarin refused to go because everyone hates her and the CountLess of Cunt stayed home to lick Jill's ass. No one cared, including me, because contrary to what that whore thinks, this is not the Jill Zaaaarin show. The girls sat down to a gormet lunch on the Olga and started to discuss Jill's antics. Kelly BenSuckAss became upset because apparently Jill is her new BFF, even though Jill hates her too. Kelly, who can't seem to keep her horse teeth in her mouth jumped up and said STAP. STAAAAAP. She told them all they were demented and she was going to live in Kelly land where everyone does cartwheels, eats grapes and is NICE. Bethenny yelled, fine, don't come back for dessert! Kelly then stomped off and ran smack into a glass door. Bethenny had her mouth open. Kelly's big man hands are all over the glass as she tried in vain to find the door handle. LMAO! Later Alex asks, what was that?? And good old Bethenny says "That was a gift from Jesus, my friend, a gift from baby Jesus to me." I laughed so hard I peed a little, that GD Bethenny is a gem.

*

Later Kelly was either smarting from her glass door concussion or her dick was strapped too tight to her thigh cutting off crucial blood flow because she went koo koo again. Bethenny says she suffers from tiny shorts in her brain that are constant. Sonja told her she needed to get laid, according to Sonya everything can be be cured by some good fuck times, but, Kelly said she wasn't a ho bag like Bethenny. Cut to Kellys horse face saying "I called her a ho bag, heh heh." Enjoy your one second, daft bitch, 'cause here comes Bethenny. Kelly then came off the wall and told Bethenny she was a cook not a chef, so there. She wants to see Bethenny's resume and degree from culinary school. Bethenny, who does not speak socialite, she speaks white trash pissed bitch like I do, says "Shut the fuck up, you MORON, you are the most ignorant person I have ever spent time with. Your vocabulary is terrible, you're an idiot!" Kelly countered with something that made no sense. ''You make like, lemons out of lemonade! You want to like, stab me with your hair!" Bethenny says she has to go next door to the Hooters yacht. Quote: " I have to go to the Hooter's boat to find sane people! Good bye LUNATIC!"

*

OMFG! This was my gift this week. At this point, I was laughing so hard I slid off the couch and my dog started barking at me. He thought I was having a seizure. How will I ever wait for next weeks episode and the conclusion to this hellish trip??? Oh, I forgot, the ending had horny Sonja drunk and yelling "I smell cat pee!!" then diving head first into Kelly's rotten crotch. Sonja always knows where to find dick. Priceless.