We have this problem at work that has to be dealt with. Two doors down from our shop the social services set up this 'hope' center for the mentally disabled. They teach them how to interact with others socially, which includes how to shop and use your manners. Good for them. But, they come right out of there and into our shop. Lots of them, groups of them, with no supervision. No one wants to be mean to a retarded person who's trying to learn and get along. But, they take up so much time. They think everyone wants to spend all day with them. My friend, who owns the shop, has two jobs. She runs the book keeping for both her and her husbands business's and she's freekin' busy. I'm not that busy, but, my time is still mine. She's really nice..I'm not all that nice. Sometimes I just walk away, or go home. My friend can't do that and she's stuck with them. All....day...long.Shouldn't part of their education include the fact that other people have lives and jobs and we are not their entertainment committee? We talked to their "director" and she insists that our interaction with her clients benefits the community..she also says they boost commerce since they do shop. I'm sorry, but, buying a $3 dollar paperback does not entitle you to stay in the shop talking and asking questions for six hours. 'Specially when you return the book the next day because you learned a new word, comprehend, and you can not comprehend Harry Potter so you would like to trade it for Goosebumps. And you would like us to go find Goosebumps for you and read you the first ten pages to make sure it's good. We also don't care if you wrote us a book report a whole page long and are willing to read it out loud in the register aisle while blocking regular customers who actually purchase things. We don't care what you read. Isn't that shocking? Every day I get more pissed off.
52 comments:
we have a gal like that on her bike all day long, all over town. Hanging around the stores and the library. Definitely overstaying her welcome by a lot! Asking questions constantly, telling total strangers personal stuff that they don't need nor care to hear. She evn goes behind the counters like she works at some of the places. I'd blow my head off after about an hour of that sh**. I am sorry, I have worked with the metally handicapped before, it is very trying on your nerves and emotions and temper. But like your friend, everybody is too nice to tell her to go home and she hangs & hangs for-eh-ver!!! It def gets on my nerves too. I can't deal with ppl who have asbergers either and thats several ppl in my immediate family. It makes me flip out!! Can't do it. Nope!
rox
Sorry, Pat. But I needed a good laugh today. And that did the trick!
omg!!! and you get PAID to help them?? i mean are you expected to be unpaid employees for this organization??? how about someone GOES WITH THEM INTO A STORE to ensure that they understand how to shop properly????
places like that piss me off so much because they probably get gub'ment money and they don't want to do any work and then if people complain they will say you aren't being 'empathic' to people with disabilities!
and OBVIOUSLY they are NOT teaching them how to interact with others!!! i'd be bitching up a storm!
If they are being taught how to shop... is it possible they could be shown how to enter a store, look over the merchandise, make their selection, take it to the register, pay for it, THEN LEAVE. And how to do this with in five minutes. Instruct them the stores have other customers and the employees have other jobs to complete, it's not all about them.
And the worst part is when they start hanging their Sarah Palin for President signs everywhere.
We employ someone who is developmentally challenged. Her duties consist of tripping the bakers, getting the way of counter staff with her broom by way of imitating a mountain, and staring at customers until they decide to leave feeling completely creeped out.
Don't get me wrong, she's not a bad person. Just a lot of work.
Last week she needed to talk only to a MANAGER. I'm sorry, but a MANAGER is not required to deal with ANY issue that someone with the intellect of a six year old happens to have. Especially while said manager is running late getting her inventory done for that day. So I sent a supervisor. Not good enough. She lead her helper through the back of the house to my office where she proceeded to tell me in her incoherent manner, that she would be vacationing out of province. And why she is going out of province. And who she will be with and what they will be doing.
I interrupted her and said to her helper that it was no problem as she is welcome to take all the time she needs to finger paint and dance with broomsticks in another province for as long as she wants because we find it much easier when our special friend isn't actually at the store. Her helper looked at me in shock. Shock!! Seriously what do they think these people actually contribute? To her credit the helper looked relieved. Perhaps she was thinking we actually needed her help and was wondering if we were 'special' too?
Good one Crabbie :)
Did anyone watch the View yesterday when the RHoDC were on. Famewhore Michaele Salahi is accusing Whoopi of hitting her. Today Whoopi had a short explanation about it.
http://theview.abc.go.com/blog/thursday-whoopi-responds-salahis-accusation
Seems the DC HOs also made an appearance on the Today Show today. They have more on the back stage incident where Whoopi dropped several F-bombs & made Michaele cry. All I can say is Go Whoopi. Those people are pure trash.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38576262/ns/today-entertainment/
Ok, I'm going to watch Bethenny's last show tonight, RHoDC - not so sure.
Have the owner of the shop get together with the other owners downtown. You can bet your bottom dollar if the owners 'enmass' would confront the director she would THEN instruct the individuals on shopping manners. I can't see the owner of the "lovely clothes store across the square" giving into the directors excuse.
OR, write the director, tell her;
While I really enjoyed our conversation the other day about your clients needing to learn how to interact within our community, and I understand and support your viewpoint. I am terribly sorry that you feel you cannot support my views and instruct your clients on the concept of time limits, and how it can be disruptive to other patrons who also have business in the community to monopolize the time of the sales clerks. I am sure you will understand why I must now take this matter up with the other business owners and possibly the board members who oversee your business.
Thanks ever so. hugs and kisses. the place where dd works.
I concur with all your other advisers here, that the Hope center have not done their job. Part of shopping is knowing how to leave the store again, and for them not to teach this basic part of manners is completely unfair to the businesses that they frequent, as well as to other shoppers and the "special" folks, as well. The idea that you are being asked to read pages out of the book for them is an idea more suited to those who work with them personally. No-one wants their business if they then command so much of the proprietors time---no-one wants them to come back. Epic Fail as far as their training attempt. It is simply not worth it, and the center needs to be further confronted, or you need to go above their heads.
It's been a long time ago that I worked as an inspector in long-term care, as well as in facilities for the mentally challenged. At that time, the accepted method of training for release to group homes, etc. was called "active treatment" which meant teaching basic skills in very specific steps in very specific order. Such as when you brush your teeth:
1) Go into bathroom
2) Stand facing sink
3) Open medicine cabinet
4) Pick up toothpaste
etc.
This community center have dropped the ball by not instilling the need (in these people) to leave in a timely fashion. They have not completed training, and someone needs to be very, very blunt about this. You should not have to deal with this repeatedly.
Nice post Frimmy but did you REALLY say that or is it a bit of a frabication. Not sure why my post keeps getting deleted - it's a legimate question.
It's like they force you to be mean. I don't like it. Sometimes I've even resorted to telling them they need to leave my area because I am communicating with a spirit.
The spirit of 'get the fuck out."
Do they leave when you tell them you are communicating with a spirit? Or, do they still hang out?
I actually said it. I lack the time or imagination to invent conversations. I said it nicely though. Also, our employee actually does trip the bakers, stand like a mountain in drive thru and stare at customers until they're creeped out. She doesn't mean to do it. She just loses focus and meanders mentally to wherever it is she goes. She also has no concept of personal boundaries. It's just what she deals with. Which means the people who are trying to help her need to be aware. Like the center next to DD's shop. It's doing nobody any favours to allow them to monopolize the shop or the people in it. I can totally relate to DD's post.
We lucked out though and the brand new helper actually does care about the person she's assisting and what she does and how it affects people. Unlike the last helper who sat on her ass and talked on the phone the whole 2 hours she was there and didn't give a damn what her charge did to to the people around her or what they did to her in response. My staff and I consider it all our responsibility to help her out while she's with us but are only able to babysit so much. We actually have real jobs to do.
LOL @ DD "spirit of get the fuck out"
I agree 100%. Its ridiculous that they assume the general public wants/should have to deal with that. The group home should be teaching them that they shouldn't talk to everyone anyways, for safety's sake.
I used to have a guy like that come into the last place I worked. He lectured a girl buying a pregnancy test that she shouldn't have sex before she's married and that abortion is wrong and she'd go to hell. He would quote scripture all the time. I know it wasn't his fault; it was whomever was teaching him that stuff, but it made me hate him just the same!
Ok Frimmy - that makes more sense if you said it somewhat nicely and I am sure much more tactfully....I couldn't imagine a manager talking so deragatory about someone (while in their presence) about something they can NOT control...
Thanks for the clarfication.
I mean seriously I hate the retards as much as you guys obvioulsy do...Or should I say RA- Tards (The Hangover)
There is a reason for public education in our society (by that, I mean the United States). There should be FREE public education for children AND adults. All of these adults in this facility should have a federally funded place to go to further their education.The public library (and local book stores) can only provide assistance, not direction and instruction. Every civilised society should provide the means for all of it's citizens to have publicly funded assistance to literacy. Peace and out... (from your resident Socialist... haha) :)))
Anonymous said..
August 5, 2010 11:43:00 PM GMT-02:00
I don't think anyone here said they hate Retards....I don't even remember them using that word.....
DD my advise to you other than what has been said is to tell them you have work to do and walk away. they will eventually get the hint. also i would have business owners in the area send letters to the 'hope' center..... I believe someone should be in there helping them buy what they need/want. but in life they have to learn to do some things for themselves. but case managers and caregivers should know there limitations and be with them when they need help. I am very careful of when and where I let my son go by himself so he doesn't run into those problems. but he is learning to work in the 'real world' but even at 15 (mentally about 11) he knows that he can't "bug" people at there place of employment.
Jenna
Yeah - lets spend more money to educate people - please Bedbugs And Ballyhoo ....Seriously you are a socialist - Families need to stop "ditching" their kids that are "inconvenient" to themselves unto us...You decided to have a child take care of it. I don't care if they are "special" needs or not...If you can't take care of kid don't have one
jenna, you and i have had this conversation many times....many caseworkers or even agencies (such as CSS in akron or the portage MRDD) do not CARE.....they don't care about their clients, they don't care about others....they just care about getting their money! it's really sad that these opportunities are created for individuals who need them and then they get run by shitty people who don't care!!! it doesn't do the people who need the services any good and can sometimes, as in DD's place of work, cause other businesses and peoples problems....
that director at that 'hope' center just wants to pass the supervision buck to other places than her own!! PeggyAnn had a great idea about sending a letter and i would add to that---include a phrase or two that says:
We cannot be legally liable for your client's well being when they are loitering in our business. If they trip an employee, a customer, or do damage while loitering, we are resolving ourselves of legal liability. Please ensure your clients are aware that once they purchase an item they cannot loiter. We also cannot provide a reading service to customers. The interference of business is costing us income and if, need be, we might have to look to recover loss of income from doing your services job for you.
something like that.....i'm tired and wore out....but you get the idea....you ARE being liable for them and that ain't right!!! CC: to the state dept. that oversees such organizations....usually the dept. of mental health or the dept. of mental and developmental disabilities.....
going to bed! and hey, nice to see jenna posting!!! :) jenna is one of my best friends in real life peoples!!! and we actually became friends because of the insane neighbor i have who fakes all the illnesses!
and yeah, they are LOITERING and i am sure that's against the law!!!
anon 11:43....i just have to say to you that you are a FUCKTARD....no one here hates people with disabilities and for you to say that really pisses me off!
one of my best friend's has a son with disabilities and to hear you say shit like that really irks my ire!
he's a great kid and he wants to do so much like everyone else and he is learning and he will succeed....whereas YOU will not succeed.....
Miss Tia - Just like I have a best friend that is black....lol
Miss Tia - Then why are you on here complaining about Ra- Tards?
i gotta go to bed, but uh, i wanted to say that so the ladies here WHO ARE MY FRIENDS, knew who jenna was! sort of an introduction.....
and i have no clue what you mean by asking if i need to go to a "special needs" school...picking on people with disabilities and saying that you hate such people is really really low and shows what level YOU are at....
Oh and Miss Tia - You didn't bitch about DD complaining about the Ra- tard awhile back - the one that always tries to talk to her - you laughed along with everyone else. I didn't see you nor do I see you know taking a stand against what she said.......Only those that point that out to you get attacked...Yes I know it's retard - I don't like that word so I am putting the Hangover spin on it by saying Ra- Tard...You probably can't afford movies though so you probably dont know what I am talking about.
and i have no clue what you mean by asking if i need to go to a "special needs" school...picking on people with disabilities and saying that you hate such people is really really low and shows what level YOU are at....
BUT IT'S OK IF DD AND THE FOLLOWERS DO??????????
So you became friends b/c of someone else who fakes illnesses - NICE - did you ever STOP and think that maybe she does have a "mental problem" whatever it may be and that is why she says all the things she does? Maybe she is a bit slow? demented? schizophrenic? But know you just call her "CRAZY!!!!" Think about it for just one second.
I saw someone on here saying they got PTSD from planning a wedding??? Serioulsy? and she is one of the regulars that you all support but your neighbor MAY have serious issues and you just disregard her as being "CRAZY" Nice for someone who is so "liberal" and loves all folks
Rox- I have Asperger's and I'd like to say, we're not all like that! You must have met some Asperger's people who were especially weird. I would never stand around all day in a public place badgering people. Actually quite the opposite, I am bad in social situations and usually go out of my way to avoid them.
Sometimes at the animal shelter we get people with mental retardation coming to visit the cats and I admit it gets somewhat annoying. They yell a lot-not really words, just nonsense. And they have to be told over and over to be gentle with the cats. I don't have much patience for them although I would not actually so out out loud.
Anonymous of the many, many infantile posts. None of the people we have discussed here are half as hampered, mentally, as you are.
Sarcasm and pot-stirring seem to be the only things you feel you can handle. Go ahead. Blather on, and when DD gets tired of your pitiful attempts at posting, she will just banish your sorry self back to the little hole you crawled out of. No-one here needs to read your drivel. No-one is interested. Go home, and find something constructive to do, rather than hanging around here, waiting for someone to post something so you can pathetically (it really is sad) attempt to make some sort of "comment". You are not respected, and your viewpoints are tiring at best. Get lost.
Anonymous,
As a REAL LIFE friend of Miss Tia's (Gosh they just keep coming, don't they?), let me assure you that at no time since I've known her as she ever once asserted that she 'loves people.' On the contrary, I think she prefers animals.... anonymous fucktards like yourself might just be the reason.
Furthermore, why would she care if someone falsely claimed to have PTSD? How would that change her life or her mental health?
Thirdly, why are you so obsessed with her? There are people that post here who bug me and so I ignore them. If I find that they are posting too much then I don't read the comments for a while. It's just that simple. I have to wonder what you're trying to accomplish through your trolling. It's not very effective and it's not even funny. Good trolling should always be funny......
Anyway, welcome Jenna! It's nice to see you here.
Oh, and as far as your situation is concerned, Pat: I totally feel for you. I worked at a facility for adults who are highly functioning MRDD for a few years and it was extremely frustrating. Everyone is so politically correct that they are afraid to tell them 'no' and most of the individuals I worked with were very spoiled. The only way to work there without losing my mind was to mentally disconnect from all of them. My advice to you is to tell them that hanging around your store without buying anything is 'inappropriate'. That's a word they know well and might be remembered.
Alison,
No, I was not picking on anyone with Aspergers. My sister, brother & mother all have/had it. I was the only one in my house that didn't. My dad was long divorced from my mom. I cannot explain the behaviors w/o sounding mean, so I won't discuss it. It's close family members and Its painful to discuss. I KNOW how Asperger patients behave. They are not mentally challenged either. Actually , my sister did way better in school than I did. But I had friends and got into what ever it is that kids did at the time, she had no friends at all. Typical Aspergers patient. Focus on one thing and cannot socially interact w/o some intervention & couseling. Which, back in the 1970's nobody even talked about. They just were "different". Got no help. My sister also has Addisons disease. She really got the bad end of the gene pool but her 3 kids are all college grads with their masters or PHD's, like their dad, who was also "weird". But they are not. It skips around the family, hits here, misses there. I was like my dad and he was very social. Aperger patients are not social. I woudl never put anybody down for that. I just cannot deal with it emotionally. As my family has put me thru hell all my life. & Not because they have that disorder, altho, I suspect it added to the way they acted & treated me. I cannot be around them. End of story. I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend anyone. Its just my nerves are shot and I can't take that behavior any more.
And to whoever is giving Tia sh**. WTH? Why do you keep coming back here just to start sh**? Tia doesn't care what you think of her so your snide remarks are not a bother to her. But it's mean and you need to go away. Go remark on another site. There are millions of them. Find another victim to shoot down. Tia is our friend. So go away & stop being a mean ass. Its showing on your face.
rox
xoxoxo
I am so sick of this anonymous person. At least have the balls to put your name down! or better yet, get a life; no one is forcing you to read and respond here!
This is a sensitive subject, and I knew Jenna would read it and that's why I didn't rant and cuss. My brother is 'special' too. But, I'll bet, Jenna, that your son is a cool kid because you've raised him well. I'd probably like him. There's a couple of young ones who come in that are cool. Most of them are old and really pestery. And yeah, they all know the meaning of "appropriate."
By the way, this is a brand new computer with new tracking devices. I know who you are anon.
jenna's son is cool! you would like him DD!!
I am curious, is this center actually in charge of these individuals at the time they are hanging out in your shop? If so, I would ask the supervisor 1. Do these individuals have unsupervised time in the community? 2. Who is responsible for them if they get injured or victimized? 3. Do the parents/guardians of these individuals know that they are unsupervised in a book store when they should be at this hope center? Maybe I'm reading the situation wrong.
DD, I need to catch up on the last few posts but I had to leave you this link! Check out some of the comments. All of it is very good!
http://www.celebitchy.com/111433/kate_gosselin_couldnt_hack_camping_with_sarah_palin_complained_refused_to_stay_in_tent/
Also did you see bethany last night?
Fluffy is dehydrated again today.....she won't drink water!! she eats but won't drink!!! i just talked to the dr. and we have an appt. at 3...he's gonna try to get an urine sample to see if something is going on there....and he'll give her fluids and then send me home with fluids to give her over the weekend....
damn cat....i am expecting my iowa sweet corn in the mail today too!! got a pot already on the stove for it!!!!
DD that is great you have a tracking device. Good for you. Not one anonymous on here (there are a few of us) have done anything to threaten you etc - just having aruguments with other being on your blog. Point is this an open blog! and yes you can block and our delete posts but no one on here has been threatening or doing anything that would make you need to track them. If someone came on her and it was a situation of fear than yes of course use it. Maybe you should make your blog private? Then you wouldn't have to worry about it. Just a suggestion from one of the Anon's. Since you know who I am I will continue to post when I read things that infuriate me or if I feel the need to question the truth of what someone says. Seems like a lot of fabricated or at least exaggerated stories. Sorry if I want to call BS on them. I have that right.
DD, you didn't have to 'hold back' on YOUR post. You wouldn't have bothered me....I can understand how frustrating it is. people with or without handicaps need to know their place and what is expected of them when in public....I use the word retard (and Tia's Fucktard)in general conversation. not derogatory towards MR people.... I just didn't like the comments of anon like he/she even understood what was going on. I will be the first to tell ya what these people are doing at your work is wrong. society just thinks everyone should overlook what MR people do wrong because they need help. but the truth is they need to be taught that if they are going to function in society they need to learn the things that everyone else lives by. i am not saying there aren't exceptions, but on a whole they want/should be treated the same as others without disabilities. isn't what advocates say "don't treat them different. well when they are doing something wrong call them out on it. Anyway, I just wanted to say don't feel you have to hold back...
Jenna
Yes, education is a good thing. I say, more money towards education and less money towards weapons and defense. After all, the best defense is a good offense. A country of well educated people goes a lot further than hate, fear-mongering, and exclusion of others who are considered different. Please President Obama, take my hard earned, tax payers money and educate people. Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?
Jesus was a Socialist.
I'm sorry Fluffy is having problems Miss Tia. I hope she is back to normal soon.
Anonymous, you can call BS on anything, but it just might be you are wrong. Ever consider that?
I looked at the link about Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin, and it's just typical, isn't it? All that money, time, and trouble spent on Kate, and none of it is good enough.
Personally, I think I would have loved a trip like that with Sarah Palin. I do not want her running for office, or holding office in any way, shape or form, but she knows the Alaskan wilderness, and I think you would see a lot of interesting things, and be relatively safe doing it. She is probably entertaining, and fun when she isn't invested in something politically. I would be up for just such a trip.
Ditto that Christina! As long as she did not use her sea plane (now that would be very cool to experience!) or a heliocopter to shoot any wolves, I definitely could play nice for 2 days to get to see the magnificent Alaskan wilderness.
Funny story: Many years ago I was an Assist Director at a beautiful brand new nursing home. We had a young guy who was MMRD (he was in his early thirities but looked much younger.) Jimmy was responsible for transporting residents to the barber shop for haircuts, to drop them off at physical therapy etc. He was always friendly but pretty quiet.
Jimmy followed most directions that you would give to him pretty well, but sort of on his own agenda. He sometimes seemed just a little sneaky but he was pretty much OK.
I'd often noticed that he really liked to hang out in the barber shop. Even if he knew that he had 2 other ladies waiting to have him either push their wheel chair or to walk them down to the beauty parlor, he would just dawdle and hang out in that barber shop. Just watching and a little bit off in his own world.
One day we had a huge blizzard and many people could not get in to work.Jimmy never missed a day and was always on time. The Director of Social Work arranged his schedule, assignments etc but she was snowed in. I gave Jimmy his transport assignments and made sure he understood it. He did.
I was very busy helping the nurses out with IV's & meds etc. I happened to be starting an IV in a room when Jimmy returned a gentleman who was not totally with the program. I had my back to them. When I was done I turned around to speak to the man who had just come back from his haircut. I about died! His hair looked like someone had taken those huge electric clippers that were used to trim big hedges decades ago and had willy nilly chopped front and top and sides and in the back he was almost bald. It looked like a drunk had done it. The guy asked me how his hair looked. I told him he was real handsome and that I had an emergency but that I would be back to fix him up a little more.
I ran down 3 flights of stairs to the barber shop. Jimmy had 4 little old guys all lined up in WC's waiting for him to do their hair, while he worked away like a mad scientist wacking the heck out of the man's hair that he had in the barber chair.
He had the largest grin on his face that I had ever seen on him. I explained to the 4 waiting customers that we would have to reschedule their haircuts. I called someone to rescue them and the guy Jimmy had already half way butchered.
I asked Jimmy where Ed (the barber) was. He told me that he did not know, that Ed never showed up so he decided to help out. Jimmy was not nearly as mentally limited as I had thought or as his verbal conversations would seem.
He cancelled all the appointments for activities or therapies ALL ON HIS OWN. He cancelled all the ladies haircuts. He cancelled all the hair cut appointments for all the men who were alert and oriented. He ONLY selected the men who were confused for the haircuts! He was "working" on his 5th haircut when I busted him. He told me that he wanted to keep working and that this was his best day at work ever!
I told him that he was done for the day and to take the next few days off. I explained that we would talk about it the next week.
I still giggle when I remember this story and how proud he was of himself. Unfortunately he did not adjust well to being demoted back to transporter and became a little bit beligerant every so often. The agency who represented him & placed him at the nursing home had to find him work somewhere else.
I haven't thought about this for decades but the topic today caused it to pop in my mind and I had a really good giggle.
Miss Tia, I hope that the Vet was able to get the urine spec. I think they use ultrasound so they can tap right into the bladder with a small syringe. It doesn't seem to hurt the dogs & cats that I've seen it done on. I wonder why the cat keeps getting dehydrated? Not diabetic, right? Sending healing thoughts to Fluffy. I love that name. I once had a cat that i adopted whose name was Flurry, like snow flurry. He was all white with one blue eye and one green eye. He was the sweetest cat. He used to vigorously suck his tail. I had never before or since ever seen a cat do that. Have any of you? Maybe he was weaned to early by his mommy. :)
he wanted an urine sample and couldn't get one as her bladder was the size of a grape.....he gave her fluids in there and sent me home with fluids to give her at home every other day and we put her on clavamox in case she has a low grade bladder infection---won't hurt anything and might help!!
she still has an excellent appetite and last night she even drank some water!!! YEAH!!!!! fingers crossed!!!!
thanks everyone for their support!! i really appreciate!
Post a Comment