The Sit Your Ass Down Cafe

I have this fantasy where I win the lotto and I buy an old building up on the town square and I turn it into a magik shop and cafe where people can sit around all day and drink coffee. And I wouldn't have to get any license to sell any food or beverages because it's all free. And there's a donation box they can drop some money in for the cost and it's whatever they think it's worth. And if anyone is broke and hungry, they can just eat and not feel bad. And the food would be whatever the cook felt like cooking that day. I worked in a bar like that once, and it was alright. And I'd hire a good cook to run the place and I'd just stroll through and listen to people.

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And you know it would get people in town to come in because there is nothing like sitting on your ass all day taking up a table and never tipping and shooting off your mouth. But, the thing is..it would be an alternative thinking site and they'd have to put up with all the magikal stuff and books about the paranormal lining the shelves and tarot cards and crystal balls and all that. Of course, we'd have our own resident ghosts. And the people would have to respect that. People could debate beliefs, but, no one would be allowed to preach.

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And there wouldn't be any wait staff to abuse because you can get your own damn coffee or bowl of soup and put your dirty dishes in a bus tub on the way out. Which has a bar rag and cleaning solution next to it. And if your table is left dirty, people will know your a lazy slob and they won't think much of you.

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I'd have a nice apartment upstairs with a tiny garden out back, so I could leave whenever I got irritated. And in my fantasy people change their mind about people like me, or at least learn tolerance. All nice dogs would be welcome too, as long as they have a leash. If you don't like dogs, you shouldn't come to my cafe anyway.