The play was about eating healthy, which is a joke with this kid, but, whatever. All of us parents (caregivers) had to dress up and schlep them to the high school auditorium where they have a nice theatre with real lights and curtains. The kids were so excited, it was really funny. Like they were big stars going to their dressing room..which was an empty classroom and they all wore athletic clothes or shorts. It was chaotic, but, only lasted about 45 minutes. I hope her dad got better pics than me. I don't really care though, these are good enough. I was second row right and she could see me. My photos look like the zombie scene in Thriller. It meant a lot to her that her family be there. So, me, her dad, her soon to be stepmom and her brother came. Oh, and her Aunt, because she has a daughter in the same class. Her mom couldn't make it (wtf?) and it upset Lis a lot, but, she powered on. She did shed a few tears over that though. To her, it was a huge deal to get those dance parts. When the auditions started, I'd told her being in chorus was awesome too, but, she said, F that. Chorus is for people who want to be scientists and math teachers. She wants to go to Hollywood and be a star. Fine, but, I hope she doesn't plan on being a dancer. I didn't say that out loud, did I? Well, she's a great singer, is all I meant, okay?
The death part of this post is for my aunt. My mother's sister. I'll just call her BF, instead of typing it out, like usual. I helped BF revise her will today. I had Lissa say goodbye to her, she's always been good to Lissa. Lissa said, 'But, grandma, I always say goodbye to her' and I had to explain. There was a big long talk there. I won't lie to kids. Lissa is old enough for the truth and she took it well and thoughtfully. She goes over to BF's house with Tuwella about once every two weeks. It's not like she's there all the time, like she is here. Anyway, BF's doctor told us that she can have an operation for a huge cancerous mass that is blocking all her other organs, or go to hospice to die. He doesn't think someone her age who's so frail will make it through the surgery. She has chosen the surgery and hopes to pass away during it. I may not feel close to her, but, I will say, she's been very brave about it all. I ran for her all day getting things from home and packing them to the hospital and going to the bank and re-doing her will, going to pick up her sister, etc. But, I honestly do not feel anything strange around her. You know, like death, a light (?), dead relatives..or anything. It's weird. The doctors say this is the end, shouldn't I feel something paranormal? Shouldn't I sense her dead relatives? I have with other dying people. She was like a blank canvas to me. Maybe this isn't her time..who knows?
I do feel bad for her family, they seem to be taking it hard, but, they just can't do the things I can for her right now. I know. That's peculiar too. It's almost like they're paralyzed or something. Well, whatever happens, I feel good about helping her now. Now is not the time to feed old grudges. Now is the time to step up and do as she asks. Except for the jesus thing. On that, I can be silent now. This may be the last time she gives me a sermon. If there is a god (there isn't), he knows she never gives it a rest. Today she had a captive audience. Sigh. That was terrible for me, but, it might have been her last pleasure. We shall see.
7 comments:
I'm glad Lissa was able to perform in her school program. That really means a lot, and good for her that she has a grandma who cares about her enough to speak to her teacher and actually show up for her performance.
She probably is very aware that her mom is is not very caring, but like most kids, she always hopes that this time will be different. That something she is doing will be important enough to rally her mom's interest.
You are a real gift in her life, Pat.
Christina
Her mom claimed she had to work, but, we knew about this for over a month. So, I dunno. Seemed weird to me, but, whatever, you know?
Oh, and she was thrilled to wear 'stage makup' as she is now the goth girl in class. She announced this like she had to explain goth to me.
I hope she felt like the Superstar! that she is! These are important events in a young child's life and it's wonderful that those that truly love and support her share it with her. It will be a sad day when she stops looking for her mom's face in
the crowd.
I hope your Aunt's last days are peaceful and not too painful. My mom told me that when the dying start talking to or seeing those that have already passed on - that their own time is near.
Connie, I really try hard not to judge her mom who is doing better. But, this sort of jabbed at me because Lis was really into it. REALLY into it. So, damn.
As for my aunt, I am wondering if she will defy the doctors and make it back home. I just can't figure it all out.
Lissa looks cute in these pics. I am sorry she was upset by her mother's absence. I totally get that. It's a major part of at least 1 episode of every family sit-com, a missing parent at a big school event, so it's a real thing. Kids want mom there, even more than dad. And grandma, of course! Glad it went well. I didn't know about your aunt's health. I am so sorry. I knew she hadn't been well. But I must have missed the post about her diagnosis. It might be that you have fully accepted the separation with her? and if you've never been very close, it might not be hitting you yet. It's always sad. I have to attend my FIL's ashes internment next Wednesday. He died around Thanksgiving. But then the winter hit , hard. So, now his kids are ready to inter his ashes. It will be very simple. Not a lot of people and still sad. But for me, I will leave work, go the cemetary, then go back to work.(*Not having a big 3 day funeral anymore is really the thing, 1 day & done). He was old all his life. You know? I met him in the 70's and he seemed old then. I think because he had his teeth pulled and didn't have false teeth yet & he was so skinny. LOL. So, to me, he's always been old. The surgery sounds very risky. For anybody. But her will to live is strong. I hope she makes it. But if not, at least she will be already asleep. That's probably what she's thinking. You are a good niece. Take care. xo
I am sorry about your FIL. I was gutted when my FIL died, even though his son and I had been divorced for decades. If you've been here awhile or read Last Word, you know that I have no love for my aunt. She has been terrible to me. She DID make it through the surgery which is why I felt nothing around her. Surgeons are calling it a 'miracle'. She has a long road ahead as she's nearly 90. We shall see. None of it affects me.
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