Why do I read stuff like
THIS? I don't even know why I read this crap. It's not like I'd ever write a cookbook, hell, I can't even cook. I love good food shows, yet I ridicule them too. I love Gordon Ramsay, those short shots on You Tube. I copy him sometimes and I throw in a few UK cuss words. But, I only do that stuff for myself. Hell, I'm not giving a dinner party..ever. And if I did throw an outdoor dinner party, I might actually find a spot that looked like that here, but, I can assure you some big dog would walk by and take a giant dump while the entree was being served. And you'd definitely have to fight a Raccoon for dessert. Or a herd of them. Which I'm sure my guests would find, umm, fanciful. Not. Did you ever notice how with picnic scenes like this, the food experts never discuss bug spray? You need bug spray!
Look at that, it's so pretty. The distressed table, the watercolor menu, the mismatched silverware that somehow goes together. At my house the furniture is distressed because it's all pieces of yard sale shit. The silverware never matches because I buy whatever looks useful at used stores. I lose silverware constantly. I think the kids steal it to dig worms up with. But, I just made a great meal and I served the girls outside in the plastic pool in their bathing suits. It was not pretty. When they were full, they wanted to see if corn cobs floated and grossed me out. But, the burgers were awesome on the grill. I snuck in some herbs and good cheeses and I mixed the beef with ground turkey that they told me they'd never eat. Lissa scarfed down four of them. Along with several ears of fresh sweet corn. I also had a nice ordinary home made pasta salad and for dessert we made smores over the camp fire. Plain old smores, not some foodie version. My food was fine with all of us.
I don't know why I read this stuff or watch these shows..I am never going to be like them. Never. What is wrong with me? Are any of you addicted to this crap too, when you know dang well you can't pull it off? Come on, confess.
9 comments:
I love watching Anthony Bourdain. I tell myself that if I were with him on his travels, I'd eat all the crazy shit he eats. In reality, I'm a pretty picky eater and would most likely starve to death.
I think that's funny. I watch him, but, he's not my fav. I'm a Ramsay girl. He eats weird stuff too, in weird places. I'd try stuff like jellied eels, but, even Gordon couldn't get me near a roasted Tarantula. Fuck that. That aint food. I think their stardom has gone to their heads.
Do you like Marco Pierre White?
I used to like to watch Barefoot Contessa but now I think she's a bitch so I can't be bothered.
I like Ricardo, a French-Canadian chef but I'm not even sure his show is on English TV anymore. He was fun to watch. Ooh...there's a recipe for pink grapefruit wine. That sounds better than any stinking food recipe :)
I don't watch tv but I watch youtube. I liked Ramsey's trip to India but I like Indian culture (not the roasting their wives in pizza ovens part) so it was interesting for that reason.
My fav is till Jamie Oliver because he's got his cute wife and family and he keeps it fairly clean. Plus he used to do those Naked Chef shows where he rarely measured anything and taught how to guesstimate ingredients and still have something edible.
RR makes me want to scratch my own eyes out and rip my ears off and Giada pisses me off the way she moves so carefully 'for the camera'.
wiggy
I don't know who that is...I'll have to look him up. I like Bourdain because it's fun to watch his sobriety digress as the episode progresses. I remember a challenge on one of the earliest Survivor episodes where they had to eat a boiled tarantula. I'd have told em to keep their million dollars. I like Ramsay too, especially on Kitchen Nightmares when he flips his shit over disgusting conditions.
I love cooking shows! My favorite is Justin Wilson...he was such a colorful character, always told jokes and stories while he was cooking, and the food he made actually
1. Looked good enough to eat (I have some of his recipes--yum)
2. Were made out of easily-affordable ingredients you could actually buy in a regular supermarket.
I was born in New Orleans, and his Cajun accent always made me feel at home. :)
One late night when I couldn't sleep, I watched a cooking show where this guy made a recipe called Pepsi Popcorn Chicken. I shit you not, that crap had popcorn sprinkled over the chicken and covered with a sauce whose main ingredient was Pepsi Cola. You couldn't pay me to eat shit like that! I laugh my ass off at those pretentious twats and their ridiculous "recipes".
And Briezy, I'd starve to death right along with you!! LOL
I'm hoping those pompous picnickers all got chiggers.
Seriously I have a few prissy friends with too much time and money who do stuff like this and it's annoying as hell. It looks pretty, but it's not that much fun IMO. Rather have a burger on the grill any day!
I watch Andrew Zimmern, Anthony Bourdain, Ree Drummond, and occasionally Gordon Ramsey. Every once in awhile I watch Martha Stewart and Cook's Kitchen, too.
I watch Andrew Zimmern for a window into other cultures, Anthony Bourdain for the political views on other countries mixed into his shows, and to watch him get drunk. He says on his show, that he doesn't drink at all when he isn't working. Okay. I suppose that's possible.
I watch Ree Drummond because I like her kids and husband, and their ranch life. She cooks with a TON of butter, though. I also like all her animals.
Martha Stewart is interesting, as she usually has a Saturday, half-hour show devoted to one chosen topic. Initially it was all baking, when she exhausted that, she moved on to cooking different things. One episode was different roasts. How to prepare the meat, etc. Another was how to make stews with different meats. Cooks kitchen are the experts on many topics within a show, and I like their magazine, as well.
I used to watch Barefoot Contessa, but she seemed so snooty, so I quit.
Christina
The Alton. Nuff said.
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