I'm back!

Hey, how are you guys!?? I have missed you all so damn much. This has been a crazy circus trying to get back on. There's no place to buy a computer here, so I ordered one from a rival wireless company.  They had a special deal on a flyer I got in the mail..if you hooked up with them. The wireless deal was really a good deal and I thought it would be great to have two net hook ups because service is always spotty here in the back woods. I ordered a nice HP laptop. They said it would take five days. They did send a guy out to put in the wireless. This house is pretty fucked up, so he had to put in a whole new phone line and box thingy. When he finally got it into the house, I asked him to please put the modem on my desk. But, being a man, he insisted it would 'look' better on a side table by the front door. I argued with him and he said, but, it's wireless, you don't want a wire going across the room. I told him I already had extension chords the same way, hidden under a rug. I showed him. He said that looked like someone would trip over them. I told him they'd been there for ten years and no one had tripped on them. He insisted on doing it his way. He said since I'd ordered a laptop it wouldn't matter. He showed me how to hook it up, left me an ethernet cable which he said I'd need the first time to open the wireless. Then I could unplug and do my thing. In, umm, four days, when the delivery came. Great, right?

That, my friends, was about 12 days ago. They sent it to the wrong house. So, they went back and got it and took it to their office...in the city.  They ended up delivering it to wrong houses three more times. It's fucked up because UPS delivers here all the time. The mail box is clearly marked out on the street. I waited, called, bitched, begged and it didn't make a fuck of difference. They said they couldn't find this house. I finally put a big cardboard sign in the yard. That day they said no one was home. I was home all day, sitting by the door watching for them. Finally they gave it to a woman driver and she found the house with no problem.

But, guess what? She took out this huge heavy box and my heart sank. Yep. Desk top. Big one. I knew if I sent it back it would take forever to get the laptop, so I took it. I'd been sitting here all that time with two net hookups and no computer. That's retarded. Anyhow, I was so excited to get back on, that I set up the desktop as soon as the truck pulled out. I pulled out the comp and it was not the one in the flyer. It's HP and okay, but, horizontal. I had to switch things around to make it fit and it pissed me off. It takes up all the room on the little table it sits on and there's no place to put all the cords and switches where I can get at them. It got worse. The comp itself is fine..the rest of it is pieces of shit. It had the wrong cables, they didn't even fit it. I had to go out to the shed and dig through the junk to find cables. The mouse sucks, the monitor is big, but, their stand didn't fit. I had to jerry rig that with a metal file and it took an hour to make it stand up. The speakers were ridiculous. I don't even want to talk about their keyboard. Two more trips to the shed and I got it set up. I'm using pieces from so many old computers, it isn't even funny. I was so pissed off. I should have sent it back. Shoulda, coulda..didn't. I just wanted to be on the damn net.

I got the motherfucker set up and it worked but, there's no way it will hook up to that wireless network with the cords because, guess what? That fucking man who insisted I needed the modem across the room put in a cord that won't reach the desk. Now the land line phone is in the wrong place too and the kid keeps fucking up the modem because that's where she throws her jackets and book bag. Thanks company man. I think I hate him. I might just hate men in general, at this point. So, I hooked the comp to the old company's shit and here I am. I'm still getting a laptop. Lissa's been bugging for one anyhow. But, I'm still pissed about the whole deal. And me and this new computer, which I named 'Cheap Whore', are not friends yet. Not even close. It's pissing me off. I hate new things.

I hope you've been having a better time than I have. TV is so boring, they show the same crap all day long. My fingers have finally stopped bleeding and I worked up about 47 new songs on the six string  Schecter I jacked up. Now I can actually look up all the lyrics my damaged brain lost. I need an amp, so I can really cause some trouble around here. Sometimes I was so bored, I pretended I was Stevie Nicks (goat voice) and it was the 70's again. The neighbors like Gold Dust Woman, they aren't so crazy about Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes. Look that up it you want to fuck with your own head. Anyway, I missed you so much and it's good to be back. Tell me what all I missed. What's goin' on?? (Hey, that's Marvin Gay, right?)

PS..I see an ad on here. Fuck that shit. Now, THAT, really pisses me the fuck off.