I just realized Hollywood already made 50 Shades Of Grey. In 2002. It was called Secretary and it starred James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. And no, I don't care to look up how you spell Maggie (or her dorky brother's last name) because she makes me puke. Usually. I don't know why, so don't bother to give me shit on that one. She's a good actress and she's pretty, she just makes me puke. But, I also watch ANYTHING with James Spader in it. I am loyal to him and have never been disappointed, he can get fat, go bald or whatever he feels like..he's still James Spader and he always will be.
Secretary is well done, mildly erotic and made me laugh my ass off. Oh, and the ending is sweet. Not what you'd expect from Mr. Grey and his secretary. Ironic that he has the same last name as the new one's lead, ehh? I suddenly remembered this movie when I watched some clips of 50 shades. WTF is that shit? Miss Piggy and the Frog have more chemistry than these two new yay-hoos. I have no idea how either of them ever get laid in real life. If you haven't seen Spader and Maggie what's her face in Secretary, then do. Maggie didn't make me puke in it. In fact, she made me laugh. And James is...he's fucking James Fucking Spader, is what he is! So fuck 50 shades, that dude talks too damn much. A real dominant would never utter the line, "I don't do romance, my tastes run to the more..secular." A real dominant would spank the fuck out of anyone who expected that conversation. So there.
Please wake me up when they burn 50 Shades Of Shit and remake Secretary..with James Spader. But, with the roles reversed. I will be buying that. Oh, have I said too much? ~wicked laugh~
HERE is a clip, for your amusement...or whatever. I don't judge. Just movies, anyway.
11 comments:
I love James Spader! I watched Pretty in Pink again over the weekend and he is just the most attractive man! HE will always be gorgeous.
Beth in Portland
Isn't he just so pretty in that?? And now, he's just..hot. I will never quit him.
PS, my FAVORITE James Spader movie of all time is White Palace. Fuck, that's a good movie.
I am so glad you brought up James Spader. I love him and I think he is a hunk no matter what age or size. He is able to make me love him and hate him at the same time. And yes he was a pretty boy when he was young. And for some reason, I have been thinking about his movies lately.
Now I'm going back to read the rest of the blog. I just got excited.
Are you watching him on "The Blacklist"? He's devilishly evil.
I have not seen White Palace! I googled it and it is exactly what I need to see.
Beth in Portland
I am sort of sorry to say that I don't like James Spader. I didn't know who he was when he was on the Office, but I didn't like him. He made me uncomfortable and I was happy. to see him go.
I am having such fun today! I am at the Creating Keepsakes Convention in Portland. I am sitting in a class on using Washi tape and am being a total jerk, refusing to complete the project in class and texting instead. Yay for being an asshole! !! It's true! I rock! (In a sort of pathetic way.
Christina
Why does nobody like me? I still cry about all the crap that faceless cunt Crabbie wrote about me all those years ago... Calling me a fat pasty cow and a pug-nosed, Nixon-jowled, flappy-titted tumor. How am I ever supposed to recover from that sort of abuse?
Ah well, at least my husband is hot.
50 Shades should be:
15 year ago + Angelina Jolie as Gray + Brad Pitt as the secretary = box office jackpot
Christina, He makes me uncomfortable too. I think if I knew him in person, I would be afraid of him. But I'm also drawn to him. It's like when you were a teen and mom said stay away from the bad boys. Of course, I went looking for them.
Glad you enjoyed your time not participating in the Washi tape experience. Now all I have to do is find out what Washi tape is!
Jane, Washi tape is printed paper tape. It comes in all kinds of prints. It's actually a Japanese thing that came over here a few years ago. Anyway, it has been a trendy thing in home decorating (of sorts) and scrapbooking and card making. It's pretty, and once you stick it on something, you can usually just pull it back off without any damage. That makes it popular for dorm rooms, etc. I went to the class because I really didn't know what to do with it, and all the youtube stuff seemed to be geared toward teenagers or college kids. I went to three different classes today, and I don't think I can do any more because the people in them are just too stupid. You would not believe how the instructor had to dumb-down the very simplest things. Repeatedly telling people what measurements they had to cut the cardstock to, and having those same people not have it right, and needing help to figure it out 10 minutes later. Nice stuff, but the classes left me shaking my head for sure.
Christina
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