Now, through the magic of the internet, I have found his contact number. And no, I wasn't stalking him. I have always kept track of his career over the years and was happy he did so well. But, I was talking to Lis last night about theatre and how she should get into it for fun and I went to show her the part I had in 'Gypsy', and there were all these theatre links. I wasn't looking for any particular one, just that part. I found it and while it was playing, I happened to notice a thumbnail link on the side. I couldn't see a face, but, I saw the hair and shoulders and I knew it was him. I was right. He was being interviewed on some TV show, so I watched, smiling. I was so glad I found it. But, he mentioned a class he was teaching at another theatre, so I looked it up, just because..why not? I thought there might be a photo of him. I save all his photos. There was a contact number.
I have it. What should I do?? Should I finally call and tell him thanks for all the things he did for me? Am I capable of that or would I get nervous and blurt out something weird which makes him hire extra security? I don't even know how to pretend I'm cool about this. It may be his managers number or his press agent. It may be his fucking accountant for all I know. But, what if he answers and I lose it? Should I just forget it and leave things alone?
34 comments:
go for it!
I think you should think about what you want to say, and make some notes. Go over what you really want to accomplish, and think through your feelings for him and how things were. Have kind of an A and B list for which direction things take. Then, when you feel calm, and centered enough about it that you can handle any responses well enough, go for it. I think that you might regret it if you say the wrong things, but that's a maybe. You will probably always wonder "what if?" if you don't. This could be a real opportunity to feel better about how things went. I would make sure to have my written list right in front of me, if I was going to make that call. You don't want to forget anything that you feel is important for you to say, in case you get distracted by something he says. Just my opinion.
Christina
Go for it! You got your libido back just in time! LOL
See if he is on FB, you could leave a little intro like hey remember me, bla bla, see if he answers. You could call and hide your number to see if the number is still valid as well.
Annette from Quebec.
I loved your story about the coyote. I find them so interesting, we never read alot about them, only in dark movies.
You are a fucking fool if you do not contact this man.
Hell yes you need to contact him. I have been looking forward to the next chapter in that story!
Yes phone him! And where is the link to your story Curtain Call. Be prepared for the fact that he may have moved on.
Lia
I would find out where he lives and lurk around.
I agree with everyone else. What is there to lose? But, like Christina says, make some notes. When I get nervous, I tend to go blank and sound stupid. Also make notes while you are talking. You know we will want to hear all (and I mean all) about it. How exciting!
And if that doesn't work, do like Melvin said and stalk him. I know he said lurk, but isn't that the same thing?
I thought it's not stalking if you really love them? (:
Christina
I KNOW where he lives, I've always known that. Not the exact address, but, the building. He lives on the upper East Side, near Central Park. If I was a stalker, I could have gone there and found him years ago.
Making notes would be like a script. He'd catch that in a heartbeat and think it was a loser move.
Island, my libido came back suddenly after a dream about him. It wasn't a sex dream. It was a meeting, hugging, tear filled fucked up dream. I woke up thinking one or both of us had passed on. (We haven't, I checked.)
OKAY. Deep breath. I called it. It was a voice mail box with no identification. A robotic female voice. I stated who I was looking for, where I knew him from and that I was 'Pat, his bartender'. I left my number. And yes, I fucked up and had to start over again on the message. It sounded shaky and not cool. I piss myself off. Decades..and I can't leave one cool message? WTF is wrong with me?
Christina, that was funny. It's not stalking if you really love them. I wish I had put that in the message. THAT, he would like.
Lia, go to the side of this blog, where I keep the link list. Hit 'The Last Word'. That's my fucked up writing site.
How did your libido come back? I missed that post. I need to know for a friend of a friend of mine.
Frim, how did your friend lose her libido? What preceeded it? Anything?
My story is simple, I always had a libido like a bull. Worse than any man I ever met..well, most of them anyway. As an adult, my whole life was driven by it. I lost it totally after I had my ovaries removed. There was nothing to be done, not that I know of. I thought, fuck it. I get in WAY less trouble without it and I accepted it. Then, I had that dream, and BAM, it's back. Full force and crazy. I dream of him every night now, when I used to never dream at all. I feel like a retard even admitting that, but, I have no control over my dreams. I kind of don't know what to make of or do with all this crap.
I just posted that story on the Penis post! lol I lied. It was me. Haven't recovered from that. Still cringe in relief.
It must be so nice to feel that vigor again though, Pat. I'd give anything to feel it again.
I've been thinking about this all day and I'll be damned if I know what to say. I just don't.
I had a decade birthday the day you posted the coyote story so was very pleased. It's better being 70 than 69. And I lost my libido being so sick for so long. Too much pain and puking.
Correction you posted it on March 4, I must have read it on the 5th, which was the big day.
Be sure and post if he replies. He doesn't know about your blog. That's difficult. His wife/GF may ask him Who The F is Pat? And what bar have you been going to? Lol. If he isn't gay now and is single, he will probably respond. But remember the 36 hr rule. Lol.
I saw the love of my life in a TV interview about his business. It was weird. For me, time had stopped when we were young. But he lost his hair and just looked very different. I laughed, I didn't feel anything. It kinda ruined it for me, to see him as an older guy. I still Thot of him as being 17. But I know of several older couples that have divorced their mates to marry their 1st love. And they were pretty much retirement age. Which blows for the long suffering mates. They don't get to enjoy the golden years they helped build on. Some thing's just never get out of our heads or hearts. But I think I'm cured. Good luck to you xoxo
Go for it and go adlib. Don't over think it or prepare. You will know if he is happy to hear from you. You will regret it if you don't. xoxoxoxox~
Like you, I lost mine with a hysterectomy. That one operation changed me in so many ways. But it had to be done. And I'm not sure I would want my libido back. I really don't want to think about another man. Yes, there could be a walking dream out there, but there could also be a horrible mess too. I think i just want to keep the memories I have. I want the years I have left to be ones of comfort and peace. On the other hand....sometimes I am lonely. But if I get too lonely, I get up and go to my sisters house. Five minutes of listening to them bitch at each other and I'm O.K.
OT...I just hit chocolate gold. CVS had Valentine candy 90% off. I got 10 bags of Hershey's Kisses for $3.50. Threw them in the freezer. I feel like I'm rich---money (chocolate) in the bank!
FFS! You have nothing to lose! I haven't been here for awhile, but I went back and read your story. It kept me intrigued. I want to know the outcome.
TriB
Oh my god Border Collie, we have the same birthday. No joke. March 5th. Holy beans! I had a decade birthday too. 20 years. :o
I agree with Jane. The potential for a huge mess is far more likely than the potential for meeting anyone good. I'm too old for a big mess. Too old and too indifferent and I dont like messes.
Call him.
Do make some notes or bullet points so you don't end up blathering on like an idiot--as I would do.
You have nothing to lose. Even if you just get to wish him well and tell him what he meant to you.
Good luck!
Beth
Just to clarify. . . I don't read from my notes. When I say notes, I am referring to bullet points, that I can just refer to so that I don't forget anything that is really important to me. It reminds me of why I am calling, in case I kind of go down a rabbit hole when the subject changes. I do this with doctors all the time, as in healthcare, distractions are continuous, and sometimes the person I am calling doesn't have the patience to listen to what I have to say, uninterrupted. Lately, when I have had to contact my husband, I do the same thing, so that I won't have to call him back, or worry about the things I didn't ask. The bullet points are only a reminder. There is no script.
Christina
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BORDER!!!
Happy Birthday Border and Kitty!
Happy birthday all you all! ! !
Christina
Happy Birthday to Border and Kitty!
Thanks for all your comments and advice and cheering me on. I laughed at 'GF or wife'. Sorry, but, I'm pretty sure there's no wifey, unless she had a penis. And I know what he looks like. In the tv interview he's old. He's 74 now. He's no longer blond, his hair is long and white. He's not boyishly slim and his face is lined. But, he still has that asymmetrical grin, the wicked smirk, the eyebrows and the eyes. Those things could still undo me.
I haven't heard anything yet, if I do, you will know it.
So, no word still? He's 74? Maybe he can't remember who you are? :(
What are you saying? That he's senile? He's not. The vid I saw was in the last two years.
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