Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Big deal, who gives a shit?

These two cunt lords haven't been together in years and everyone knows it. Fuck, even the retarded Daily Mail and National Enquirer called it years ago. He's a compulsive gambler and she's a control freak nester. He likes to run around all over the world, big timing it and throwing down at big stakes poker. He loves bling, fancy women, chin fuzz and hangovers. She loves the fucking farmers market, ugly mom jeans and photo ops at the play park. So, lets just get this shit over with. Give Gardener the prop kids, most of the money and the house. He can take the fucking vacation home, the yact, the rest of the money (they can both make more millions in a week) and go to the Riviera with some good looking whore. She can bundle the little darlings up and go food shopping with a hand woven basket and pick out a nice big, organic, non GMO cucumber to keep her company later while she talks it out with her stupid girl friends and they all tell her what a saint she is and what an asshole he is. I am telling you, they are both cunt lords and for years, I've been sick of Hollywood telling me that either one of them is the slightest bit attractive.

They should stay together to spare me a future of two cunt lord couples instead of the one insufferable one we've had for a decade. INSUFFERABLE. Life is not a goddamn photo op.

PS..who do you think these two will hook up with next? (Someone had better throw a Paltrow in there. Mr. or Mrs.)

8 comments:

Dan Zinski said...

Affleck won't go after someone super-young, he'll chase some some 30+ hottie whose career is sort of stalled and use his clout to help her. Katie Holmes maybe if he can pry her off Jamie Foxx's black dick. Garner will end up with a financial advisor or some boring non-movie-biz fucker.

Dirty Disher said...

Good call. Katie Holmes though, is sort of strange. I can't figure her out.

Kim Kardshian said...

Kanye said me and Ben can do each other while Kanye watches in the corner. Which is neat, cause I've always wanted Ben Affleck to ass-fuck me with enough force that his condom disintegrates and then when he cums he pumps my guts full of his hot salty jizz. Kanye would like that too. I'm a whore.

Dirty Disher said...

Indeed you are. Would you let Kanye fuck Ben too? Seems fair.

Kim Kardshian said...

Kanye says he doesn't like peen unless it's Brucecaitlyn's peen, then he'd be all up on that shit like incest on a Duggar. Kanye says he's gonna have Brucecaitlyn's foreskin bronzed and made into a pinky ring as soon as Brucecaitlyn gets it chopped off during its sex change.

Anonymous said...

HuH?? Katie Holmes a hottie?? Can't figure her out?? Cuz you're giving her too much credit. She married Cruise with her eyes wide open, legal advice and prodding from her family and a plan to snag him with a child and a few years of marriage then to get the eff out without warning. They deserved each other. How could anyone NOT have known about Cruise's life before marrying him? Impossible. She's a truly desperate famewhore. See how she just keeps trying to get credibility? She's only hired for her noteriety - ever seen her 'act'?
I fnd her disgusting, but maybe I'd do the same thing in her place, if I had the IQ of gravel and a powerful urge to be Important.

Kim Kardshian said...

I saw Katie Holmes in a bathroom stall at some swanky-ass gala once. She was sitting spread-eagle on a toilet seat injecting black tar heroin into her twunt. Me and Kanye laughed and laughed at her. Then he dragged me out back and fucked me so hard that I lapsed into a fugue state and woke up with one of my eyes permanently dilated. Kanye's dick is so frickin' awesome, you guys!

Anonymous said...

Do you think he will get back with JLo?
Christina