Helen Mirren says the biggest regret she has in life is not telling more people to fuck off. I don't want that to be my regret. I am going out in the yard now and yelling it at this whole town. Who would you like to tell to fuck off. Tell 'em here. Fuck off, my mother, you are so stupid. Fuck off Aunt Bitch Face, you devious lying whore. Fuck off chicken hating neighbors who make meth and don't take care of your pit bulls, fuck off wanna be neighbor garbage man who's dogs have woken me up every morning at 4 am for the last 7 years, fuck off creepy face book 'old friend' dudes who are hitting on my old ass, fuck off with your boner, fuck off my granddaughters jesus freak teacher, fuck off stupid neighbor who posts her love of the Duggar family every week, fuck off shit bag who came to my door and ask me if I found god. No, do you want to buy some crack?
Go on, tell 'em to fuck off right now. It feels good. Helen says it's okay.
32 comments:
Is my blog text to light? Is anyone having trouble reading or is it me? Where has crabbie gone, anyone know?
I have trouble reading everything. I increase font size. Brightness seems the same as usual. Maybe crabby took a holiday.
Fuck you sister, fuck you her husband. Self important judgmental assholes. Fuck you local government and your no dogs in parks, even on a leash laws, Fuck you for no chicken rules. Fuck you for collecting fees for sneezing and taking redevelopment money and using it to enrich your wife's family. And oh yes, it's all family although direct father to son. It's a tradition. Fuck you every liberal in this whole damned state who claimed to be inclusive and instead drives wedges dividing people into social groups of the blacks, the hispanics, white, filipinos, blah blah instead of including everybody. Fuck PC. Fuck environmental laws like stores not allowed to provide bags. Got to bring your own or buy them. None of those legislators does their own shopping. They send an aide out to pick up stuff for them. Fuck you every medical professional who misdiagnoses. Including vets. It's us that suffers because you don't diagnose right. Fuck you census workers. Fuck you poll takers. That's just a start.
Fuck your sister. Fuck her husband too! Fuck the government!
Fuck divorce. Fuck ex-husbands. Fuck dog poop on the lawn and having to clean it all up because the person who is supposed to do it, doesn't. Fuck back pain and neck pain and shoulder pain and all the other kinds of pain. Fuck messy houses, and being the only one who cleans. Fuck ads about movies. Fuck Colonel Sanders. Fuck chicken soup. Fuck bottled water that's sitting just out of reach. Fuck the couch and the windows and men that jerry-rig everything. Fuck itchiness and scratching. Fuck Columbus for "discovering" America. I could be sitting in a nice European cafe right now if it wasn't for him being a busybody. Fuck nice seafood dinners. Why are they at the beach instead of where I am? Fuck going back to work. Fuck the Ice Age. Fuck wooley mammoths. Fuck dogs barking, especially when it's mine. Fuck the refrigerator that keeps threatening to go out on me. Fuck not having a dog door, and having a dog that wants in out in out in out in out. Fuck all the finance companies that keep calling me because I filled out part of an on-line form. And most of all, Fuck stress.
Christina
Fuck George Clooney.
LMAO! FUCK off Christina's ex. FUCK OFF back and shoulder pain. fuck off doctors who give out two weeks of meds. FUCK OFF GOVERNMENT. FUCK OFF right wingers. Fuck off Donald Trump supporters. FUCK OFF people who told me you can't re-hab in town. (liars.) Fuck off ADS ON MOVIE TRAILERS. FUCK OFF music in movies. FUCK THE FUCK OFF!
FUCK OFF George Clooney's lawyer wife.
Goddamn this is fun. It feels like an exorcisim! FUCK OFF fake ghost vids on you tube!! FUCK OFF preaching evangilists!
I think Melvin is running for pres. He's busy campaigning.
FUCK OFF all political campaigners--except Melvin. Fuck off all pain. Fuck off fleas--I'm being invaded. Fuck off any ads on internet. Fuck off anything irritating that comes my way. And these fleas really have to go. I had the exterminator out here and he needs to come back. Fuck off irritating kids. Fuck off whoever had the bright idea to put all new players on the Saints football team. Fuck off gnats. Fuck off Jehovah's Witnesses who come knocking at my door trying to save my black soul. Fuck off car ads that tell me how different their cars are when they all look alike. Fuck off having to go to the dentist. Fuck off to Christina's ex and his mother. Fuck off to people who like to mess with other. I'll be back. I'm sure there's more.
Fuck OFF Fleas! Double FUCK OFF Fleas, you cost me a hundred dollars this month. FUCK OFF car ad, TRIPLE fuck off car ads, you're boring and all the same. Fuck off irritating kids. Mine included. Fuck off dentist, omfg yes. FUCK THE FUCK OFF!
Well now I'm in such a good mood from laughing at all these posts that I'm not mad at anyone anymore. that won't last.
Sweet potatoes, kale and goat cheese can fuck off. Also people who repeat a word you just asked the meaning of like that was some kind of explanation.
She: I love zipzip!
Me: What is zipzip?
She: It's ZIPzip!
What I should have said:
Me: Fuck off.
Fuck off boring Stonehenge show. Fuck off Venetian blinds, you fucktards are never clean. Fuck the back screen door with the handles that keep falling off. Fuck the stink bugs that are EVERYWHERE, AGAIN. Fuck having to pack up my ex's stuff. Fuck the car accident he was in. Fuck the front gate latch that no longer latches easily because the stupid trumpet vine grew through it and pried some pieces apart. Fuck the trumpet vine. Fuck the blackberry vines that sprout everywhere. Fuck popsicles. Fuck brain freeze harder. Fuck the washer that's trying to quit. Fuck the dirt and dog hair that is mocking me from the corner. Fuck CNN and their around the clock coverage of the GOP debate. Fuck the candidates for not doing something more interesting during the debate. I would have given a lot for one of them to rip a juicy fart. At least then CNN would be analyzing whether the candidate clenched or not, and the possible impact on the ozone. Fuck the stairs. Fuck the front walkway. Fuck the debris on the front porch. Fuck all the holes Emma is digging everywhere. Fuck cleaning the stock tank. Fuck whatever bit me on the arm this afternoon.
Christina
Fuck off crazy lady at the pharmacy who told me your whole life story in the span of 10 minutes. Fuck off people who don't move out of the fast lane. Fuck off people who have no spatial awareness at the grocery store or on the sidewalk. Fuck off people who post stupid shit on facebook than can easily be disproven by snopes. Fuck off to the Sheriff's departments in my state for putting "In God We Trust" on their police cars and fuck off to the people who don't understand why that's a problem. FUCK OFF TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED TO DEFUND PLANNED PARENTHOOD. Lastly, fuck off Christina's husband.
I LOVE THIS POST.
Christina, I understand everything but the popsicles. What have they done to you?
Fuck people who don't appreciate animals. Fuck control freaks and bossy assholes. Fuck the turd who drives too fast in the school zone and gestures rudely at me for going the speed limit in said school zone, while she has a carful of kids she picked up at school. Simply FML.
Jane, I really needed popsicles last night, and we had some in the freezer. The one set tasted weird, and had a weird texture, and the other box was covered in ice crystals. The popsicles liquified very quickly, and it rained tiny cherry bits all over what I was wearing.
Fuck popsicles. Then I got brain freeze.
Christina
I laughed so hard, reading these posts. Fuck OFF, animal abusers. Fuck OFF, mosquitoes. Fuck OFF, those tags inside your clothes that you can't rip out without ripping the material. Fuck OFF, leg hair. Fuck OFF, aging. Fuck OFF, internet stalkers. Fuck OFF, television programming that thinks I can wait an entire year for the new season of a show. Fuck the fuck off.
OMFG YES fuck off all of that! Double FUCK OFF animal abusers, animal authorities who can't read legal papers and are mean to animals, fuck off government, fuck off election, fuck off control freak mother who can't hear shit, fuck off that dumb French turd who's on FB, fuck off assholes who block store aisles, fuck off speed demons in residential areas, fuck off idiots who tell their health issues in the pharmacy, fuck off piled up laundry, fuck off to those stupid posts on face book that are inspirational and make me vomit, fuck off school officials who just asked me if Lis can spend time with her brother(he's our boy, wtf?), fuck off old lady who took two handicapped spots because the old bitch can't drive and doesn't care, fuck off teens with glass pack mufflers, fuck off cats who won't let me walk, fuck off kid who won't scoop the cat box, goddamn it, the rule is, you find a turd you deal with it. Fuck off being the only one who can see a turd. Fuck off good looking idiot who showed up last night out of the blue. Fuck you and your boner, you know you suck. Fuck off DIL for making the kid wait all weekend for your high ass to visit her, fuck off anyone who implies that Lila isn't my real granddaughter, fuck off back room storage, fuck off right to life people, fuck off loud, snoring raccoon, I mean, cat. A cat I swear. Fuck the fuck off dicks.
I can not, in all good conscious, fuck off to popsicles.
Oh triple fuck off Kale and Kale people. Fucking goddamn nasty ass tough KALE!!!
Fuck off reality.
Yes! Reality is so overrated!
Christina
FUCK OFF ADULTHOOD!!!
Fuck expectations.
Sorry I'm late to the game. I drove 12 hours today and had time to think this up.
Fuck you mother and father. You both decided that drinking, drugging and partying were more important than taking care of your daughter. Fuck you Chicago for holding all these bad memories, making it impossible for me to ever return. Fuck you conniving, lazy half sister. It's all about you, always working the angle. Fuck all my aunts and uncles, who saw the neglect and did nothing. (except my aunt pat, who did take me in before she passed)
Fuck most of society that says that I am a terrible person for feeling that way.
Fuck everyone and everything everyone else said, but especially Christina's husband.
FUCK OFF FLEAS! If I don't get rid of them soon, I'm going to rip my skin off.
And I just have to say....there are still rednecks putting glass packs on their vehicles???????? So sorry for you Pat.
Off topic, my new kitten just played a Bruce Jenner on me. Two vets claimed it was a boy, but not so much......I know it's very hard to sex kittens, so I made sure my vet did an intimate exam and it's a girl. The only reason I am concerned is because we already have 2 other females and I just hope that she can get along with them cuz she has already stolen our hearts. She is definitely part Maine Coon, which is known to be a mellow and smart breed.
I am so happy about your new place! We should have an internet move in party for you. While we can't help you physically help you move in, we can enjoy the experience with you.
Fuck off Diana's parent! You are not a terrible person, they are!
Fuck off fleas, again. They deserve many fuck offs.
Diana, I know how you feel. Luci to Lucifer. Then Luigi and now just Ouiji Board.
Fuck off pope.
FUCK OFF ISLAM AND MUSLIM TERRORISTS. FUCK OFF OBAMA FOR CAUSING SO MANY PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD AND ESPECIALLY THIS, OUR COUNTRY. FUCK OFF, WHOEVER KILLED MICHAEL HASTINGS AND PAUL WALKER(SOOO NOT AN ACCIDENT). FUCK OFF HILLARY AND I AM VOTING FOR YOU , FOR PRISON 2016! FUCK OFF JOHN KERRY. FUCK OFF PPL WHO ARE MEAN TO KIDS AND SCREAM AT THEIR FAMILY, FUCK OFF PPL WHO KICK ANIMALS. FUCK OFF PPL WHO ABANDON THEIR KIDS, ANIMALS AND FAMILY. FUCK OFF TO PEOPLE WHO CAN BUT WON'T WORK (YOU'RE WELCOME!). FUCK OFF TO MEN WHO JUMP FROM JOB TO JOB ONCE THE CHILD SUPPORT COURTS FIND THEM. FUCK OFF TO BRUCE JENNER. FUCK OFF TO ALL THE KARTRASHIANS. FUCK OFF TO PEOPLE THAT DIED THAT COULD HAVE HELPED THEMSELVES BE HEALTHIER , BUT CHOSE NOT TO. FUCK OFF TO ANYBODY THAT EVER MADE MY KIDS CRY. FUCK OFF MY HUGE ASS HARDWOOD FLOOR I JUST REFINISHED, YOU SON OF A BITCH. *YOU LOOK GREAT BTW. FUCK OFF BEING TIRED CONSTANTLY. FUCK OFF MENOPAUSE AND ITS AFTERLIFE, FUCK OFF MONEY AND THE LACK THEREOF. FUCK OFF CHIPPED TOENAIL POLISH, YOU BITCH! FUCK OFF CABLE COMPANIES! FUCK OFF DIRECT TV! FUCK OFF UTILITY BILLS! FUCK OFF TO FUCK OFFS. NOW...fuck off. I felt like yelling this post. my apologies to anyone that bothers. But Fuck Off too. xoxoxo
Fuck off Wal Mart & the trash that go there to fight! It's on the news everyday at that place! People in their PJ's fighting, at the GD Wal-Mart! No thank you.
Post a Comment