The Earth will pass through the debris of Halley's Comet tonight and tomorrow morning and there's a good chance you can see a shitload of falling stars tonight, if you like that kind of thing. I do. Rural areas are supposed to have the best view and the show will start around 1 am. I'll be out there.*
My mother decided not to travel to the city to be with my brother, she still swears he's had an overdose and is going to be fine. I put away my anger at her long enough to try and explain that he is NOT fine. She just looked at me, wide eyed and confused. He is heavily sedated in intensive care and he's listed in critical condition. I can't see any point in driving up there alone when the sight of me sent him into a frenzy. I know he's really sick and has been hiding it and refusing medical treatment for years. While I feel very sorry for him, we are not what you'd call close. He's delusional and has been for decades. Our relationship is based on me bringing him things he thinks he needs a couple of times a week and asking "So, how ya doin'?" Then I get the hell out of there as soon as I can. It's pathetic, I know.
*
So, no, I don't need sympathy. I just feel numb and I'm pretty fed up with this family, but, now is not the time to vent my anger..at anyone. I'm just here and I am going to watch stars fall tonight.
22 comments:
Thanks for letting us know about the possible celestial show tonight. I would not have known if I had not seen it here. Don't know if I will be up at that hour being as I am in a valium-induced haze, attempting to fight the extreme vertigo associated with whichever flu I have, but I might.
I feel terrible for your family situation, DD. I really do, and hope that you are getting through this with as much peace of spirit as possible. I am only one of many who are thinking of you often.
Thanks Cristina, I know there are people on her who do care and you guys are about the only contact with the outside world I have. I'm doin' okay, my posts may not make a lot of sense today though. But, there's no reason not to post, I'm just sitting here.
We're here!
Thanks for the heads up, I will try to catch the show!!!
I will try to stay awake to see the show. Sounds like it will be worth it.
When there is nothing you can do to improve a situation, doing nothing is usually what works best.
I also find myself thinking of you often, and wishing you peace and freedom from Crazies.
DD, Thanks for the heads-up about the comet and falling stars. This was the first I had heard of them. If my little dog Sparky wakes me to go out around that time, I will be sure to check them out. I hope you are doing OK, DD. I'm sending you positive energy right now. Hang in there.
Will probably be asleep (if I'm lucky... 2 sick kids at home) so will have/will miss it.
What does your brother suffer from? Feeling numb is not a bad thing. When your brain and body have had enough, they shut down and let you marvel at other things. Am thinking of you.
Glad you are going to watch the stars..sometimes just vegging is the thing to do. I am sending good energy to you to deal with it all.
We do miss you and your wit and your stories when you are here..but taking a break just makes us want more stories! :-)
Please take care of yourself.
sending positive energy your way!
Enjoy the show tonight..... tomorrow is another day.... sorry about what you are going thru at the moment Pat... but I know you will survive because I also KNOW you have gone thru worse....
thinking of you my friend..... hugs
Pat,
Tell us your craziest, coolest, stupidest, scariest (til you peed in your pants), or most ghoulish Halloween you have ever had. Then we can see if anyone can try to beat it!
If we can't start tonight, maybe we can put them on the first post of each day until Halloween!
I'll do mine, but no one would be impressed. I'm really the biggest scaredy cat around. If you sneak up behind me, you have to let me know first. If not, I'll probably kill anyone in my way when I run!!!
:( I know you are the last person who wants a pity party.
*hugs*
Here we go.. 1:01 am... hopefully I can see something... I will let ya know. Gotta go!
nothing so far... but there is alot of clouds out there AND I live int he city... so chances are I'm not going to see anything.
I was waiting to hear you say that you'd compartmentalize your anger Pat. Burn those things that you have to lighten the air and clear your house. Best wishes and have a good time tonight.
Jarhead
We had a thunderstorn and I didn't see a thing. Figures.
Jarhead, what does "compartmentalize anger" mean?
Does he have AIDS?
It sounds like this episode is just part of the same crap you've been putting up with all your life. This is why so many people prefer the company of their pets or nature.
It's a lot easier to care about people who really care about you. No one should feel bad if they can't manage to create ones-sided relationships with unavailable family members.
Why do families (some) families have to be so difficult and weird. My Shay~Shay will be 2 yrs old on Friday, my mother has never seen her other then a photo, do I care NO because I know my mom she's about whats going on in her life and if its a new boy toy then that will take precedent, I have a sister who is living with me who talks about how my mother should be ashamed of herself blah blah blah, my daughter wont have a bday party because the same sister has been so wrapped up in her new boy toy that she cause her cell phone (my family plan) to go WAY over it's minutes, by over 200 dollars, wont get in touch with her sons doctors to get his meds going again for his ADD and anger issues so he's missing school, she's out all night and Im dealing with him...my sister is just like my mother...uuuggghhh family maybe it's time for me to move away again and this time I wont tell those crazy people where Im going. Pat I think your the bestest and the way you keep your sanity is beyond me so I am sending you enough good thoughts to keep you sane enought to keep you out of a straight jacket, and just enough insanity that your able to smile at those who are trying to put you in the padded room!!
Connie
"It's a lot easier to care about people who really care about you. No one should feel bad if they can't manage to create ones-sided relationships with unavailable family members".
Anon 12:51...When I read this I realized that has been my problem with my family for as long as I can remember. All my life I have tried to create one-sided relationships with unavailable family members. I had never thought of it that way until I read your very thought-provoking words. After almost 40 years of this crap I finally got wise. Now that I have no association with any of them I feel so free! They can no longer mess with my head and make me feel like I'm the "problem".
Connie, I don't get your mom and I never will. I'd move away in a heartbeat, but, I'd never leave Lis.
As for my brother, I still don't know what's wrong, but, he's off critical and stable enough for surgerys today. I may never know the truth.
Hi Pat. I mean that you can put all that crap in the back of your mind and move forward with your life. It sucks when other people suck the energy out of you. All the best.
Jarhead
man, i wish it were easy to push away family that drive us nuts but it is apparently not easy and there is always the "bigger picture" that makes it imnposible to move on, there is always a child involved and that it what makes it hard or impossible. My mom lives with me 80% of the time and the rest of the time she vacations with my sister and brother and other family members. I get the best side of her, the i am tired, i cannot remember, i leave shit all over the dishes, i need to go to the doctor, i can't stand you, you are so rude and nasty to me, and if you don't like me i will leave and go to a nursing home, side! I considered my mom an angel/saint all my life, until my dad died and she moved in with me; i thought her being with me would be great but i soon found out that it would start to drive me crazy and angry! She is 74, has cataracs, hearing is bad, she is overweight, and keeps eating because it is all she knows to do besides sleeping when she is depressed. Yes, she is a widow, yes, she lost her son in 1972 to a horrific train accident but other than that her life since has been good, no major health issues, no other major deaths besides the normal, comes with time, deaths of parents,siblings, and friends and she is still depressed when she is at home with me but not when she is off on her travels. I think it is me because i don't put up with her BS or baby her as my siblings do but then i see she always critizes me, she cannot admit she does anything wrong and she eats everythign that is sweet in teh house and my kids get upset when they don't find their cake or icecream after dinner...cuz mom ate it on one of her midnight raids...anyhow that was my rant for today, no where near as bad as Pat's or anyone else's on this blog but a pain in may ass no less...
No pity party for Pat, just wish we could have a margarita and shots party with her and with some good eats, too, lots of music...no driving and kid friendly, that would be the best party for pat!
ali
Ali, you need emergency cupcakes stashed for the kids. Seriously.
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