More family bonding in the ER

Picture it..I had to drive The Mother Thing to the emergency room because my brother was admitted there from the care facility. They said on the phone he was "ill." Yeah, thanks for the heads up, bitches, he was stark raving out of his mind. I got there ahead of the ambulance and waited an hour and a half for them to get off their ass's and go get him. There were two ambulances parked outside and I have no idea what the hold up was. I offered twice to go get him myself but they said it was against the rules. Okay, that was enough to irritate me right there, but, then they finally fetched his crazy ass and wheeled him in on a stretcher. He was angry and said he'd been overdosed. I went up and put my hand on his shoulder and said, do you hurt anywhere? Are you sick? (There was no doctor there at this time) He sat up and looked at our mom and then yelled at me. He screamed "You got me on drugs! You're the one who started me on drugs and made me this way!!" He acted like he was going to punch me. I'm like, whoa, I assure you I'm not in charge of your medication. He said "No, when we were kids, you got me hooked on drugs!" Then he starts crying for his mommy. The mother thing gave me a look that would kill and rushed to his side. I said, fuck this family and left the room.

*

I can tell you truthfully I have never in my life shared drugs with my brother..I never liked him that much when we were kids. We have never even shared a joint or a beer, much less whatever he was ranting about. I went out of the room, but, I stood outside the door and listened. You could hear him all over the first floor. Boo hoo, drugs were his downfall. Yeah, right. Then he said "Patty went to Woodstock and saw Janice Joplin! She did! She snuck out of the house and went to Woodstock!!" I peeked around the door and saw the mother thing patting his back as he sobbed. Jesus Christ. She was asking him to tell her all about it and what did I do and how did I get there? He obliged and then yelled "She got to go to Woodstock and I didn't! It aint fair!!"

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An hour later the doctor finally walks in and my brother is still going on about Woodstock and he's also narcing off all his old buddies from the sixties and seventies. This one got him high and that one sold him drugs. He told the doctor to write down their names and call the feds. I thought to myself "That right there is why you didn't go to Woodstock, you big narc." Oh, did I mention he was 12 years old when Woodstock was held? No matter, I was sick of him by now. I am sick of this whole family. None of this made any sense. It kind of reminded me of the TP boys except Bubbles had that cool puppet. I told the mother thing I was leaving..but, I didn't.

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The doctor looked at his chart and said Bob had been unmedicated for three days. He had nothing in his system at all. Then my brother yelled that his doctor thinks he's a homo. The ER doc says "So, you're upset because your doctor thinks your gay and you aren't? Bob says no, he knows he's queerer than a three dollar bill most of the time. He also thinks he needs his head examined. The ER doc says he thinks that can be arranged. I had a chuckle.

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Then they started an IV, I have no idea why and I doubt they did either. They had to do something, I guess. The old lady is shaking her head and telling the doctor he's not gay. The doctor ignored her and she went over to him and pointed at his clipboard and said he needed to write that down. He..is..not..GAY. Well, she laid down the law about that, huu?

*
Finally, I left and went down to the waiting room and got coffee. I could hear him ranting all the way down the hall. That went on for two hours. The doctor disappeared and I could hear the mother thing following all the nurses asking when they were going to admit him to a room? Finally she started telling them she was old and had arthritis and it hurt a lot. She was in terrible pain and she was so tired. It got more interesting for them, I'm sure, when she heard the doctor say the man in the next room had a perforated bowel. She told them all about her bathroom habits. She ended up with "I'm just an old lady, I'm tired and I think Dancing With The Stars is on tonight!" They finally gave him a room and wheeled his ass off, still ranting. About this time some bitch dressed as the Avon lady walked into the waiting room and said "I can see your family is giving you a hard time. There's someone you can talk to, you know." I looked up, mildly interested and said, oh? She said, yes, and picked up a bible from the side table and tried to hand it to me. Yes, you can talk to Jesus, she smiled. My head was pounding and I said "Jesus sucks." She was mad now, she said "Shame on you, it certainly doesn't say that in the good book!" I grabbed her bible and a marker from the kids table and wrote JESUS SUCKS! ASS! right on the front page, then I handed it back to her. (It does now, twat.) She stormed off and said she was going to report me. To who, bitch? The Mormons? The janitor?

*
The mother thing came in and told me we could leave now. I put down the two year old copy of Good Housekeeping I'd been engrossed in and I guess I will never know how to make my own shabby chic lemonade container. She told me that Bob's problem was an overdose and it was a mistake made by bad medical staff where he lives. She was going to sue! I said, that's not what he said, he said he's not medicated at all. She yelled at me to shut up, it was an overdose! Then she demanded to know if I was at this Woodstick. I told her it was Woodstock and what was she going to do, ground me? What an idiot.

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She was still mad when we drove off and I said she should worry about her crazy son and she said "My poor boy." And I muttered "Your poor big old gay boy." She screamed "He is not gay!!!!" I said, he IS gay, he's always been gay, he is fruit salad, homo picnic, pink tutu dancing on rainbow bridge GAY! And nothing she says will make him not gay. She told me she was fed up with me and that she was going to get ME a psychiatric evaluation. (Like everyone on here couldn't diagnose me.) I think she even lied about Dancing With The Stars. Everything she says is a big fat lie. And as soon as she got home she was telling whoppers to the family in the driveway. She said that Bob got an overdose and it was all "their" fault, but, he's better now. And I don't think my brother is going to survive this one. I really don't.

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That was my day..and night. How was yours?