I had some kind of mental breakdown last night that caused me to think I'm Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart with mouse turds. I got out all the boxes of Christmas crap and set them all over every possible surface in the living room and then decided I needed to clean before I opened them. THEN I was cleaning the kitchen and I found mouse turds under the sink. Oh, don't pretend you've never seen a mouse turd, 'specially if you live in the Midwest. Anyway, instead of doing the right thing, which would have been to wipe that spot and close the door for now, I started yanking every pot and pan and all the other crap under there out and cleaning, bleaching, scrubbing it to hell and back. Then my brain farted out and I was convinced there was mouse poop hiding everywhere so I pulled out the stove, fridge, microwave and standing cabinets and stacked all their contents in the growing mountain of....things. I only found mouse turds under the microwave stand, on the floor. The only thing I have put back so far is the food from the fridge. I ran out of steam. It looks like and explosion in here. But, hey, it's fairly clean.*
Today I took the turkey out and it was still frozen solid! I mean solid. Hmm, I decided the thing to do was bake things and set the turkey in a pan on top of the stove while I baked. It seems to be working. It's been sitting there all day. I don't know if this thaw method is bad or not. I never had a fucking turkey take this long to thaw, Jennie O must ship them to the North Pole and leave them under the tundra for a year. So, I got the green bean casserole done (because I wanted some) and then I started a pumpkin pie from scratch. I have no friggin' idea what I'm doing. I looked at a couple of websites with conflicting opinions and thought, fuck, it can't be that hard. The pumpkins were hard as hell to cut up. I finally resorted to digging out the jack o lantern carvers. There is no way to peel these things, but, the peel comes off when they get soft. So, it's cooked. Umm. Yeah, I don't know what to do with it now..I'll go read some more and let you know.
*
It's a good thing I have no one to impress. My girls are used to me..they won't mind and I know something will be edible. It might not be pie though. Geeez.
53 comments:
DD-defrosting that turkey like that is BAD. If you can spare your sink just put in the sink and cover with cold water and change the water about every 30 minutes. If you don't have sink space maybe a big bucket or a cooler? bathtub?
escrow
my mom blended cooked pumpkin skin and all. She thought it was healthy.
I once was at someone's home for dinner and they made a pumpkin pie from scratch without sugar or spices. None in the whipped cream either. Nothing could taste that bad when you're expecting desert.
Frimmy-ewwww gross just veggies and fluffy milk in crust. And how was your moms pie with skin?
escrow
That was fine! You didn't really notice the added texture.
Pat-
Its really easy prep pumpkins to use their meat. Make sure you wash the outside really good, and then you cut them in half/quarters depending on thier size, scoop out the strings and seeds, and then roast them in the oven shell side up for about an hour. They will be all soft and the shells peel right off. The rest of the pie is easy. Just like if you used the canned whole pack pumpkin. You can either use pumpkin pie spice, or cinnamon, allspice and cloves. Evaporated milk, eggs and sugar or honey. Mixes up like a dream and tastes yummy.
If you have extra pumpkin that needs to be used, its a great add in to pancake mix, oatmeal, and pumpkin bread with chocolate chips never lasts more than an hour at our house. :)
As for the defrosting of the turkey, on more than one occasion I have filled the sink with cold water and the turkey the night before to find it ready to go that morning. This year, I get to buy a fresh turkey coz I spent more than $800 in 6 weeks to earn a 20% discount on a shopping trip. I prefer fresh turkey, and found out the hard way the first year, that you need to TRIPLE check for spare feathers that they miss. And in case you are wondering, yea, it was on the inside of the wing, and yes, it caught got all burned and nasty in the oven. I learned my lesson.
I hope you and your girls have a wonderful Friday to be thankful for. :)
Too late. :) My pies are in the oven and I didn't look up anything. I just guessed. My canned milk had gone bad, can you believe that? So, I put in whole milk and an egg. Lots of spices. Waiting now to see if I have yummy pie or some kind of slop.
BTW, I used the microwave for pumpkin when my pot got full. Doubt it matters, it just needs to be soft. I used a potato masher on it.
Escrow, you're probably right, but, the damn thing is still frozen. I'll put it in the sink overnight.
The sink method works great. Just repeatedly change the cool water, so that you don't encourage bacteria to grow if there is a small tear in the plastic. I usually soak them during the day before, in the fridge over night, and back into the water early in the morning, so I can do those water changes.
Hope your pie turns out well. My mom always makes her pumpkin pies out of real pumpkin, but she's very picky about which varieties. Over the years she has gotten to know which ones have more meat.
She usually boils the pumpkin until soft, then puts it through a strainer.
Christina
I have to laugh at the mouse story. I found mouse turds in my kitchen once and I did the same exact thing. I kept envisioning that show where they get the UV light out and show you all the piss and shit trails under some kind of black light thingy. I bleached until I thought my fingers would fall off. So freaking funny!!!
K
DD, for the pumpkin, maybe you want to get yourself a foley mill. I had one years ago when I used to make pumpkin pies from scratch. And for the turkey, I thought you always had to give it days to defrost in the refridgerator. I have not cooked a turkey in years.
It's been in the fridge since Tuesday. I thought it would at least start to thaw. Nope. It's thawing now..lol. I'll put the fucker on the furnace. I just checked the pies, they're setting up and smell really good. I think I did okay.
What's a foley mill do? Because the potato masher worked really good. I didn't strain or blend them though.
with all those cats your mom feeds i'm surprised there's any mice around for MILES!
So now you are frying the turkey? Fuck. Just put it in the sink ovenight...K? Foley Mill? I think is a fancy name for a ricer...tater masher is fine.
Tia- laugh my ass off...your are right... fire those fricken cats
Pat, you are a cook and I tole you this a long time ago...a recipe is only a suggestion
enjoy and laugh your ass off with your girls
escrow
I can smell those pies 2 states over :)
you are my kind of lady! home made turkey dinner.yummmm
i'll be helping my mother in law with thanksgiving whether she like it or not because i like home made gravy, not canned.real sweet potatoes, not canned. green bean casserole.home made mac n cheese. i am so friggin hungry right now
Pat - that tundra comment cracked me up!! I'm always shocked at how long it takes the damn bird to thaw and end up freaking out the day before when its still frozen.
btw I heard on the news today that the largest supplier of canned pumpkin (nestle) had a bad harvest and won't be putting out any more cans till next year's harvest. Not sure how that affects overall canned pumpkin availability (I always get mine pre-made). Hope yours turns out yummy!!
That whole post just completely cracked me up!! Let us know how the turkey and pie turned out. Sounds like my kind of cooking until I freak out and throw the whole thing away and make pasta with pesto sauce... I have made progress in the turkey cooking domain but would not want to venture into the pumpkin pie from scratch...
been there done that. (the mental breakdown massive cleaning thing). I tried to make pumpkin pie from scratch last year - even went and got the fancy pumpkin. Then i almost cut my hand off multiple times trying to dismember it. It ended up as deer food and I made pie from Libby's and Pillsbury. Delish!
Oh Pat...reading your blog makes my day. Thank you so much for the free entertainment.
I won't even cut squash before baking it. I have decent knives and cutting board but I'm not superwoman.
Someone suggested cracking it apart, which sounds like the best option....but with what?
If the pumpkin is big enough, I think you could just slam it down on a paper covered (hard) surface and it would crack into pieces. When I want part of a hubbard squash at the local fruit and veg store, the owner just slams a big one down on the concrete and gives me a piece. It would be a little neater if the surface was covered, though.
As for the mice, every so often we get an infestation. We live along a cemetery that slopes down into a canyon, so there is a lot of wildlife of all sorts. About a month or two ago, we saw mouse droppings in a closet, so we started setting traps. We actually caught seven. They creep me out, but it's just part of life here. I'll just keep an eye out, but we probably won't have more for another year or two. Generally that's how it goes.
Christina
Pat, if you put the turkey in the sink overnight (that makes me cringe), make absolutely sure you wash it inside and out the next day, please? A very good wash, really good wash.
Then cook. I prefer a bag if roasting.
For really good turkey, deep fry, but that requires a lot more equipment.
Oh, one more thing? If you can find where the mice might be getting into the house ... a hole. I stumbled onto this as a teen, it worked and it's probably somewhat organic.
Get some menthol shaving cream and just fill every hole and crevice you see. The mice will promptly exit. I don't know if they dislike the smell or the taste or the foam, it simply works.
Defrosting the turkey:
I buy a cheap bucket at a 99cent sale. A 5 gallon (used) one works, too, but make sure you sterilize the hell out of it first - the bucket, NOT the turkey.
I'm NOT willing to give up a sink for that many hours.
Mouse turds. I have them. Though I wonder ......why does my patio looks like Battle of Gettysburg with all the littered mouse bodies but my cats are totally ignoring the spy in the house?!
Wow Sharna, if that works it would be incredible. It's so hard to get rid of them. I had a problem when they started dying in the floor joists and the stench was nauseating and lasted weeks.
Can't wait to have some mice to try this on ;)
Frimmy that might have been something I did back when I was trying to find ways of eating things less sugary. On behalf of such cooks everywhere, I apologize for us, because, yeah, it tastes awful.
JS
I live between 2 corn fields and beans on the other sides. So, yea, mouse poop. I know what that shit is. LOL...traps work tho & D-Con set under the stove, behind cabinets works too. I see when it is gone but don't see the mice. Once in a while we see one. D-Con works. Keep it away from pets & kids. Also, like the menthol cream, steel wool stuffed into crevices & openings will keep away mice & cockroaches. They hate it. Enjoy your dinner. Sounds good. You remind me of the grandma that cooks Thanksgiving dinner at 4 a.m. and the family isn't even coming till 2. haha
rox
http://bakingbites.com/2009/11/the-high-heat-turkey-method/#more-3977
I haven't tried this but it's worth a quick read, Pat.
Pat, I gave you the best pumpkin pie recipe there is!!! LOL (except I cheat and use plain canned pumpkin).
I could see myself in the kitchen when you were describing the goings on!!! Had me laughing out loud.
I worry about the way you're defrosting the turkey, too. You can get very sick. I've heard it's not even good to stuff them any more--salmonella poisoning.
I once had a CROWD for dinner, cooked a huge turkey. It smelled delicious while it was roasting. Everyone's mouths were watering. My husband took it out to carve it and it was empty. We shrieked! No meat. Nada. Just skin and bones was no longer just a saying to me. It was the weirdest thing we've ever seen. Thank goodness I had cooked so many side dishes that we all ate and laughed about the turkey. I went back to the store I had bought it from the next day and the butcher said it may have been thawed and refrozen??? Any way, the fool offered me a free turkey--like I even wanted to think about turkey at that point! The subject still comes up every Thanksgiving. Starts out, "Wasn't it weird the time Mom..."
Sharna, thanks for the mouse tip. I got roof rats a number of months, ago. Didn't know i had them until they chewed a hose and caused a flood in the house.
I don't know if anyone is going to believe this or not, but yesterday my daughter and I headed up toward the mountains and we passed cow pastures all the way up and the cows were eating from big piles of smashed pumpkins! I never saw that before! Has anyone ever heard this before? I was glad I was with someone--I would never have guessed cows would eat pumpkin.
coyote:
Really? No meat all? How was that bird even alive before? LOL...Also, how much did it weigh? Couldn't have been much at all. That is the weirdest thing ever. Yea, your kids will never let you forget that one! Wow...how strange. I can't even understand how it was packaged & sold. Don't those things get inspected? I am just dumbfounded. Good story.
Rox
The strange thing, Rox, is that it was a big turkey and it was heavy when I put it in the oven. I'll never be able to explain it. I have never stopped wondering, that's for sure. When we cut into it, the bones just had a little grey meat hanging off them. Everyone came in the kitchen and were omgodding all over the place.
The butcher was perplexed, and his explanation didn't really make sense to me. It couldn't have been the first time, though, because he didn't hesitate to offer me another turkey!
You know, I wonder if there's away to google it.
OMG Pat! You had me laaughing! It seems like you've been in my house!
The first time I cooked a Turkey, I left the bag of 'innards' in. The plastic melted inside the bird!
Mice...... boy do I have them! I'm going to try Sharna Pax's idea. Because when they die before I can find them oh brother! What smell!
And yes, I've done exactly what you did -- pulled the kitchen apart.
Unfortunately I use so much energy on my search and destroy mission that I leave the mess for another days clean up.
Cold water will deffinately defrost your butter ball. Enjoy and I do look forward to your Thankgiving recap.
You always make my day - Thanks!
Cows love pumpkins...makes their milk really creamy.
Coyote...girl, I tried. I was so amazed I had to know. Nothing came up in a Google search. I am laughing but shaking my head. All that cooking & mouth watering for...nothing! Your kids! I have to laugh. But I'm sure at the time you were all very disappointed. Better luck this year! LOL...if you find anything. Post it here. I dunno, maybe Google disappearing turkey meat? haha
rox
I'm not frying turkey on the stove escrow. I am crazy, not retarded.
SharnaPax, the turkey is in plastic, the sink had been bleached. I am a germ freak when it comes to food. I put it back in the fridge last night, and it's thawed. I just got up. Oh, menthol shave cream..great idea..mice hate mint. You can run 'em clear off with real peppermint oil. Can't buy it here though.
Hey Coyote. I just thot of this. Once in a Chinese restaurant in Ohio. We ordered spare ribs. Yea right. When they came I swear it was just a plate of bones, just bones. Red shiny BBQ bones. No meat. We were all like "WTH? Where's the meat" Much like you, I'm sure! We gnawed on the boys, got nuthin' & still paid for them. We left, went next door and got pizza!!! LOL...it was funny as hell at the time. Still is.
rox
Coyote, I've seen that! I saw a turkey like that my mom cooked once. It was bizarre and I thought it had freezer burn so bad the meat disintegrated. It was so weird. I figured it was an antique frozen bird killed in 1920 or some shit. LMAO
Did I actually say we "gnawed on the boys"??? LMFAO!!! we might have done that too. Who knows? That was 30 years ago!! But no ribs that night! Gawd. I am sorry. I am stopping now.
Hey, I'm older than dirt, I know how to cook a turkey. You put it in the oven. And wait. LMAOOOOOO!
DD you should pack up all the mouse's and fed ex them to kates house for thanksgiving. NICE POOPY oh yes take a picture..
LOL :p i couldn't resist that one.
my son's house at college has quite a few mice. Hardware store said to scatter pieces of spearmint gum around the inhabited rooms. Mice don't like the mint. Said mint oils should work too.
Pat, it was freezer burn??? So what happened to all the meat? You have no idea what a shock that was that day. It smelled absolutely delicious. We let it "rest", then when went to carve it--surprise!!! Good thing everyone had a sense of humor!
I'm so glad someone has seen that happen before. I tried to google it, but came up with nothing.
Enjoy your pie!! Enjoy your turkey, but most of all, enjoy your kids.
rox, knawed on the boys????HAAHAHAHAH
Coyote, I've seen extreme freezer burn and it will do that. The meat just breaks down upon thaw and disappears for the most part. That dude sold you an ancient frozen bird.
rox, Pat had the answer. Freezer burn. I'm going to google that. It happened so many years ago that I think it's become tradition just to talk about it around the table every year since.
Anonymous, thanks about the cow/pumpkins. I'd never seen it before.
rox, you have me laughing so hard and so curious. Here's one thing google said,
"If meat is kept in the home freezer for a long time, for example a year or two, is it safe and good to eat?
"...eating quality may have deteriorated due to dehydration and flavor change in the fat..."
DEHYDRATED ISN'T THE WORD! That dumb bird was killed a dozen times by the looks of it! The skin looked so good--that's what confuses me! I'm gettin' silly about this. Wait until I scream DEHYDRATION at the table this year. HAHAHA
Dehydrate..yeah, that's it. From freeze and thaw mulitple times. It's gross. You should see my moms freezer. Shakes head. On second thought, naaa.
Cows will eat about anything.
Thanks for the tip on the menthol shaving cream. Cleaning out closets here after my college kids moved (must have been the bag of spiced peanuts they stashed away from me at last Xmas)... did the mice makes some holes. Every peanut in the shell were sampled all along the entertainment center, but it was too spicy for the little varmints so they moved on to the next nut... what a mess! When we moved that, we were stunned and off went a cell pic to son telling not to hide snack gifts from the momma! I always thought steel wool or tin would do the trick and don't have any. I will try your method cuz those kids have left their shaving cream behind too.
Pat, your house sounds like HOME and a joy to come home to...have a wonderful, joyful Thanksgiving dinner. Thanks for sharing your blog.
emptynester...thank you!
I'm glad everyone liked my idea, and I hope it works for you.
It sure did for me. As a teen, I was so tired of trying to sleep and hearing that mouse chewing-gnawing trying to get through the wall into my room from the bathroom.
So one night I got up, racking my brain for something, anything...grabbed my daddy's Edge menthol shave gel and just squirted it in every crevice and little hole. It worked!
I've used it since then with the same great results. Mice hate it. The cool thing is it's non-toxic (I guess, unless you eat it, but who would?) and it just dissipates over time so there's no really bad clean-up.
I can't figure out how you knew they hated mint. Unless it's because of your heratige. My grandma, Prarie Flower told me. She knew some tricks.
Post a Comment