I was posting to Kiki on another site and we were talking about Kate and the way she feeds her kids and I said, OMG, I could make a whole post out of the food issues those Gosselin kids will probably have when they're older. And then I thought, well, why don't I? I'm sick today and I can't think of anything else to post really. Food issues are so universal and eating disorders are so common and most of it, in my opinion, stems from the way you were raised. I have huge food issues. Food is love to me. I've been really really skinny and really really fat and this is the first time in my life that food is not important to me. I hardly ever fix a meal anymore and I only eat when I have to, but, damned if I'm still not offering everything I can think of to my grand kid when she's here and begging her to eat something decent while still buying trendy junk food she sees on TV. I feel like Marie Barone sometimes. Eat, eaaaaat!*
So, here's a post where you can bitch about how Kate fucks up her kids with her weird bizarre food ideas..or you can tell me your food issue and how you were raised. Let's just talk about food and what role it plays in our lives.
81 comments:
well due to my mother i have had some food issues....my mother would withhold food from me because i hadn't done anything during the day to help her around the house, BUT i wasn't ALLOWED to do anything to help her around the house because i would do it WRONG...i would offer to do something and NO "you can't do anything right go watch TV"...i would watch tv and get in TROUBLE because i wasn't doing anything to help her! total circle....so i wouldn't be given that much food to eat because i "didn't deserve to eat"....
when i get REALLY stressed to this day i will not eat that much because i don't feel i did enough to "deserve to eat"....like right now i have a test tonight and i have hardly eaten all weekend because i don't feel i studied enough to deserve to eat....
when i take on redoing a room if i don't finish it ALL in a day (which would be impossible) i feel like a failure and i don't deserve to it...
oh and i really like the new header!! :-)
now i gotta study as i have a test in a few hours! ACK!!!!!!!!
But, logically, you know that you aren't ruled by your mother anymore and that the way she fed you was wrong. I know how hard it is to escape her in your mind though. Now I want to feed you to show you that I care..lol. Eat, eaaaaaat.
Kate Gosselin is the poorest excuse for a mother ever. Her kids are always hungry. Always! They are fed nothing but low nutrition snack food.
oh i know logically i am not ruled by my mother anymore....i rationally understand that....but when i get really stressed my rationality sort of flies out the window and runs down the street and probably goes to an all you can eat buffet!
i should be less stressed after my test tonight...and if my handyman would finish my kitchen floor (i have half a floor and it's been 2 months) i'd be less stressed too! :-)
i will accept any food offerings, especially if chocolate! :)
I know what you mean. When I was a kid I was hungry. I don't think a lot of people know what real hunger is, but, it's caused me to be kind of a food hoarder. I can live on fruit and crackers now, but, if I don't have a freezer full of food it upsets me and I don't feel safe. I get seriously stressed. That lack of food as a child is also why I waste money on trendy snack food that usually ends up in the trash. I'm fucked up.
oh i hoard food too!!! I always have a full freezer and fridge and cupboards!! i always feel more 'content' when i have a lot of food on hand!!!
5:15:00 PM, I agree. If her kids ever got a real meal, they'd have no idea what it was. She also uses food as punishment and rewards and feeds herself well while skimping her kids. She feeds herself first too. Her kids seem food crazy and always hungry. Mothers like her freak me out.
Tia, your mother is a bitch x 1000. I can't believe any mom would withhold food. But, I've seen Kate do it. It's so evil.
well i think my mother defied every motherhood expectation....i think her withholding food is one of her 'lesser evils' though....despite that it still impacts me to this day....
It probably is a lessor evil from what you've told me. I share similar memories.
We were never sure as kids if we would have money for food, so whenever my mom went to the store, we would pig out on anything good she would buy. Whatever it was, popsicles etc., would be gone in a day or two. But the craziness from my mom is that I am always afraid to finish the last of something. The last piece of a pizza could have been in the fridge for more than a week but as soon as you ate it, my mother claimed that she had planned on eating that and now she had nothing to eat. To this day, I get nervous about finishing up old food.
I don't watch the show and now I'm curious: what *does* Kate feed those kids?
Musermommy, that sounds like your mom had some odd way of inducing guilt in you. Did she get some kind of kick out of that or was it like a punishment?
Before my parents divorced I ate healthy but when my parents divorced I lived with my father starting at around 11 or 12 and he would give me food to keep me entertained while he went out with his friends or had to work. Food was also a source of saying he was sorry. So when ever we would fight, which was often, he would bring me food as a way of keeping the peace. Lets just say I gained a lot of weight through my teens and early 20's and did not really get a handle on how to eat well, without emotions, until a year ago. It is still a battle though. I want to eat when I am anxious.
Alison, on the show Kate usually let the kids get so hungry they'd have melt downs and scream and then she'd blame it on blood sugar levels and feed them a meal of crackers, grapes, a small yogurt on a cheap thin paper plate and talk about organics and nutrition while hovering over them. She rarely ate with them and when she did, she didn't eat the crap she gave them. She ate real food. She's just freaky..who thinks popcorn and a cheese stick is lunch for active kids?? It's okay once in awhile, but, that's all I ever saw them eat.
And it's clear her kids are food obsessed. They will eat anything and do anything for food. It's pretty creepy. The boys gnawed on fried chicken feet at the dude ranch. I was grossed out. Kate laughed.
Bored, food bribes. Food is emotional I guess, even when you ARE fed. It's so messed up.
DD, I think it was both. If there is such a thing, she would be mother-thing lite. It actually was sort of a common thing growing up where I did. We even had a name for it, "Mon Valley Mom Syndrome" A girl I went to college with came up with it. Her mom was the same, anything to tear you down because you had a future and they were stuck where they were. The food thing was just an example of me keeping her down and making her life miserable because I was born.
Pat... I'm so amazed that this food topic came up today. I was seriously thinking about emailing you and asking if you'd start a blog about oral fixations. I had thought about it all day yesterday and had come to the conclusion that I might just find some words of wisdom from you and your readers. I'm at my wit's end and need some practical advice. I've been all over the internet reading what other people with food and nicotine addictions have done to kick their bad habits. But I'm still fighting a losing war and have reached the point of sheer desperation.
I don't know where my oral fixation comes from. I always had plenty to eat when I was growing up and my parents never used food as a reward or punishment. But I've always had a weight problem and now it's gotten to the point where it is seriously affecting my health. I'm also a chain smoker and have tried Chantix, the patch and nicotine gum. I've already had one heart attack and my health is in a serious state right now. I want so badly to lose weight and quit smoking but something is wonky in my head and I can't get into the right frame of mind. Does anyone else out there have a similar problem or any advice?
I'm off red meat. Shit was killing me. I've begun snacking on baby carrots. Soon I will be a full-on asshole veggie.
I couldn't eat anything if the food on the plate touched each other. My mom had to buy me sectioned plates so I would eat. She never denied us food and usually made sure my friends ate & would even make home made walnut fudge for the nasty neighbors at x-mas that felt bad & sent over a 1/2 eaten box of cheap chocolates to reciprocate. Yuck! My mom cracked the walnuts by hand. This was back in the day. Late 60's. She didnt expect anything in return so the cheap 1/2 empty chocalte box was really a dis. I eat when I get upset. Bad idea. As soon as someone makes me feel bad I get a sudden urge to eat. I throw up so much due to illness that it doesn't matter to me anymore. I eat what I want cuz it will be back up soon. And I cant help it.
I used to have a friend that would hand her kids a big bag of marshamallows for supper and tell us she just forgot to make anything. 3 kids under the age of 6! Thats horrible. They were scrawny & skinny, looked like white Ethiopians.
rox
I also love the new banner. I hope I am one of the "friends"...
rox
I am so sorry, Matilda, but, I am a smoker. I'd be the last person to ask, but, I'm sure someone on here will have advice. I didn't smoke until I was 35, which I think is weird, but, now I enjoy it. I quit cold turkey for a year, but, started again when I found an old pack of my daughters. She has quit since then and she never smoked a lot. Me..I'm an addictive personality type. If I like something I OD on it.
Weight, I may have some advice. I've lost A LOT in that last couple of years, just by eating more healthy. I could never diet, it's not fun. But, just replacing unhealthy things with good stuff works for me. Like, don't tell yourself you can't eat..eat all day if you want, but, eat fruit and salads, nuts and cheese (more filling than sweets), switch from Soda to sugar free lemonaide and water. Does that help any?
Crabbie, that shocks me. Good for you!
Count me in on the banner! Love the different "varieties" of friends.
We were "poor". Looking back I think it was poor money management. My moms "needs" came first, alcohol, horse races, albums of the week. We went hungry for many days in a row. When there was food, my father ate first, he had to go to work and needed his strength, then the younger two ate and then if there was anything left us older two ate. Here is a strange food, bread with tons of cheap margarine, then sprinkled with sugar. To this day I use butter lightly and I do not really care for bread. I remember finding some Rice Krispies but was not allowed to eat them because we had no sugar to sprinkle on them. WTF! Never did figure out where my mother fit into the food chain. I still have food issues. Cannot be hungry. As a mother, and my hubby feels the same, our kid would have eaten before both of us. Talked with my step-mother about it once, can't get that hungry feeling, experienced, it too often and she said to me, "yes, your dad still pulls that excuse too." Bitch. I feel bad for the Gosselin kids because of my life and it is not even a money issue with that family.
Rox, that marshmallow thing pissed me off. My mom does that still..to Lis while I'm at work. Saturday, all day long the kid ate marshmallows and hot choc. The old lady pisses me off. Lissa threw up when I took her home. Ever heard of a sandwich, bitch? Fucking people.
Brigadoon..I can not imagine letting the father and small children eat while older children watched. I don't care how poor you were, that is shameful and your parents should be ashamed. And man, I've eaten my share of sugar sandwiches. We ate anything we could find. Your post made me want to cry.
Hi DD yes we were talking about the crablegs
she offered the kids then regretted it cuz of all
the work she had to do to get it out of the shell
which miss lazy ass surprise begrudges food
to her kids & fine seafood feast free of charge
to boot. What a witch kids eat first then the parents.
My mother has a food hoarding freezer fetish.
She's also a cheapskate and always buys
whatever is cheapest !!! Then freezes it all
and only let us eat the old food first. I m talking
a year old !!!!! Fuck I hate deep chest freezers and
refuse to own one cuz of this. I love to just go to the
fresh food market & fish store get something so fresh and
go home and cook it up for dinner for my family.
It's like she didn't value us at all by feeding us
old frozen stuff she got outa the sale bin.
I had the most emberassing lunches and no1
would trade lunch items with me at school.
Heck I'm glad that over now my sons don't know
any of this type of lifestyle what a downer it's
not necessary they know their grandmas a cheepy
nutbar so no need to traumatized the boys.
I'm just glad I never got sickainly cuz I'd rather
starve then eat any of it and my lunch always
ended up in the trash hey even the birds don't
want stale on sale frozen bread with soggy ham.
Yeeesh Its ironic looking back now it's the stale
smell that I hate the most of all like a warning
sign to say STOP DONT EAT THIS ITS NOT
FRESH ! Even though I came from that i didn't
stay there folks just in case your wondering I'm fine :)
This is a great topic btw DD thanks and nice new header.
I didn't have any real food issues growing up. Other than my Mom would make me sit at the table until I drank all of my milk. I hated milk so my sister (who hated veggies) and I would trade when our Mom left the room. I love milk now and my sister loves veggies now. Go figure. I do have food quirks though. I won't eat anything the day after the expiration date or leftovers after the next day. I also can't/won't drink anything out of plastic. I am a freak. :)
You actually had lunch at school? Whiner. LOL.
Yeah, and did you notice when Kate was "preparing" (AH hah hah) those crab legs and she was sneaking some for herself? The kids were paining with hunger and old cankle Kate was snurfing and snarfing crab, sucking at the legs like some kind of octopus and trying to hide it. That made me gag. She was like, fuck the kids, I'm eating this.
Monica, I drink everything out of disposable plastic cups. I'm weird too.
Yes I dud have lunch at school my mother was
too lazy to allow us to come home and have lunch
that would make her exhausted to cook some
soup for us !!! And that way we would be gone
for 9 hours all day for her to rest up from us
noisy kids. She would stay home and heck knows
what our house was a pigstye and she never
held a mop or broom in her hands. I think she
slept all day. Yes but again I'm whinning oops !
Yeah I saw her scarfing it down like a vulture !
She makes fun of the kids liking the food by
immatating how they eat & it's all on tape forever
on sooooo many copies of DVD s sold !!!!
Those kids are going resent her for all this
& more whenbthey realize how they've been used
by their own mother. Such a shame & Pity :-/
School lunch reminded me of when I was 6 we lived in Biloxi, Miss. We had no money, my dad was stationed at the air base there. I always had to take my lunch. Never had a school lunch at that school. At x-mas my teacher brought around the green x-mas tree ice cream treat the kids got on the lunch plates for me to eat. I was happy about it but it ingrained in me the feelings of poverty even more. Like "Oh yea, everybody knows I am poor!" I was 6 but you know when you dont have much. Its not hard to figure out,once you go to school. Kids feel bad when they are different, it doesnt matter. If they had free schoolbooks back then & free lunches, we would have ate school food. I'm surprised I dont hoard food. I dont. Pat, maybe thats why you get Lissa all that new fangled fun stuff when she wants it? If you didnt get that when you were a kid, you know how it feels and you dont want her to feel bad. I know.
rox
As a reward we would get candy mmmm candy, chocolate I was overly good, then when weight became an issue I would hide the candy, then have to hide the candy wrappers. Me as a parent...my oldest is not a chocolate lover he goes for the salty junk food (chips), the 2 younger ones are all about the chocolate, Shay~Shay found Christmas 2008 was AWESOME cuz she could sit on the couch by herself, got into the choc. kisses tin someone had given me for christmas and had a hay day while I was at work and De-De was washing dishes. Depending on what the kids have eaten, if they don't finish there meal because they are full, then there to full for dessert when we have something sweet in the house, which is not that often unless its around the holidays. I usually make a protein, starch and veggie. I consider potatos, corn, and peas more starch then veggie. I try to make the kids the veggies they enjoy instead of forcing them to eat something that makes them gag, I find this way they are willing to taste them more often or at least Im able to trick them into eating them cuz they don't have the memory of being forced...it works.
Connie
My mother always fed me really bad sugary breakfasts..pop tarts, lucky charms cereal or toast with brown sugar. Man, I loved breakfast back then! The breakfast of champions!
Kiki, I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing with you. Your mom didn't value you. I know how that feels. And I grew up in a pig stye too. We lived in places so bad, I would sleep in old junk cars instead. I get it, trust me, I do.
I would have liked to see Shay with that Kisses tin..lol.
7:51:00 PM, Moms who buy all the crazy cereals rock.
Rox, yeah, it sucks when you know you're in poverty and it happens by first grade. It's humiliating and yet, you're too hungry to act proud.
Yeah, Pat, I understand what you mean about being an addictive personality type. And I can't do anything in small measures. It's all or nothing with me. I've stopped smoking many times in the past and couldn't even level off before the quit date. I continued to smoke up a storm and then would try to quit BAM cold turkey.
Same with food. If I'm not on a diet I'm in a frenzy feeding mode consuming a bag of fun size snickers candy bars every night. Duh! It's always one extreme or another with me.
I'll try your advice. It sounds good to me. And yeah, those poor Gosselin kids are going to have some major food issues.
My mom never gave me any food issues but I am an emotional eater. My fault, but I'm bad at stopping I have recently lost 15 lbs but I still need to lose at least 10 more.
My brother is a terrible emotional eater, worse than me. He weighs over 400 lbs and he's only 25 years old. He can barely walk up a flight of stairs because he is so big. I feel sorry for him, he is a nice person but people judge him on his weight. My father was very mean to him and called him "Fat" all the time. My father's an asshole.
I once knew someone who let her kids eat nothing but sugar and junk food all day long. When the kids misbehaved, she "punished" them by making them eat healthy foods! Seriously! I think that is just sickening. What a screwed-up thing to do.
I love food. Straight up LOVE food. Like you and Matilda, I also OD on things I love. If I like something, I'll eat it every day until I can't stand it anymore. Drives my husband nuts since I'll also cook things I like waaaay too much. Oh shit...there's where I'm screwing my kids up...
Matilda, like you I'd tried EVERYTHING to quit smoking and finally succeeded 3 months ago by reading Allen Carr's 'Easy Way to Quit Smoking'. I'd smoked for 28 years and besides the forced quitting during pregnancy...never had any luck quitting. This book completely changed the way I felt about smoking...but not with fear tactics. More of like "deprogramming". Hope it can help you too.
As far as weight loss ideas...I've got nothin'. ; )
DD I know it's ok i got it. She still doesn't value
me almost 50 years now and she can't stand
the fact that she can't control me so to her I'm
not a good daughter. I defied her by learning
to be independent early on and getting a student loan
so I could go to college during the day while working
in thecevenings and add to that the homework studying
meant loss of sleep. Then I had the nerve to learn to
drive a buy a car and a house and get married and
have children why I'm such an ungrateful girl
for wanting to better my self and have a loving
relationship with all my children. Sorry for all the sarcasim
but you gotta just laff it off. I learned to cope with
her negative remarks and put downs by laffing at her.
To this day I have a tenaciuos attitude and if
anyone says can we do that ? I say whyNot !
My motto in life is also my favourite song -
DON'T STOP ME NOW - by Freddie Mercury of
Queen fame. Kiki :) in Canada
Awww...love your new topper.
My biggest hurdle to overcome was not making myself finish everything on my plate just because I took it. That was a big one in my home, you take it you have to eat it...ugh.
K
iambriezy...I bought Allen Carr's book several years ago because I had heard so many positive things about it. But it really didn't help me at all. I am a big time smoker - start chain smoking from the moment I get out of bed in the morning. Have smoked for 38 years although I did quit during each pregnacy. That's the ticket! I need to get pregnate. Not!
I really like Pat's suggestion about not weighing and measuring what I eat and eating as much as I want of the healthy foods. I think that's always been my problem in the past. I'm too fixated with food to begin with and whenever I try to diet the fixation is magnified 10 fold. If I can eat all the food I want as long as it's fruits and veggies with a little nuts and cheese on the side I'll probably get tired of eating all together. LOL
I, too, love the new banner!
First, Pat, I didn't start smoking till I was 32, also. It was an odd decision, since I hated smoking up to then. It was a sudden craving. Years later I read a few mental health articles that speculate there is a substance in nicotene that aids serotonin production. Of course, that isn't a very popular statement to make, so I haven't seen much more written on that topic, but I tend to believe it.
Ah, food issues. My mother was a narcissist, very controlling. I was about 14, and we were having a fight about something I don't remember. I guess it was about food, because I recall thinking, "Bitch, I will show you how well I DON'T eat." And I stopped eating.
It was a way to recover some of my control, I know that now. And this was a time (mid 60s) when anorexia or bulemia weren't talked about, weren't everyday words.
I'd eat enough to keep me functioning, but the scary thing was that, after awhile, my body took over. It didn't want food anymore, and I'd get ill even thinking about eating. I was 5'8" tall and the numbers on the scale showed 88 pounds. I had my control and decided to eat again.
I don't want this to be a treatise on How Mental Health Issues And Eating Disorders Began For Me (subtitle: How My Mother Fucked Me Up.) Just know I did snap myself out of it, got better. I still have occassional issues about eating.
I totally have food issues. When I was a kid my big brother would eat everything in sight and if I wasn't there to get any, tough luck. No mom intervention at all.
If I don't have a well-stocked kitchen I get nervous and I don't feel content. It's like having the food there comforts me.
Me and food have a love-hate relationship. I hate how I over-indulge and yet I love it. I love it because it brings me comfort and yet hate it because that's so dysfunctional. Weird.
Because food is socially acceptable and because daily nourishment is required I think having a food addiction is really difficult to overcome. It's against the law to get some illegal drugs but it's okay to get your junk food binge on at the local grocery stores.
Sheesh.
I think those Gosselin kids are going to have food issues. can you imagine yelling at your kids to stop eating berries???? Halloween candy, yes. But fruit?
Well, I just made "Dang Cold Asian
Noodle Salad", the recipe is on the food network. Thumbs Up!!
Starting smoking in your thirties? That is odd. I've been a smoker since I was 19, but I never smoke two days in a row. I'm like a binge smoker...all at once, or none at all. I'll smoke a pack in a 5 hour period and then go 3 or 4 days without a puff.
Those kids all look pretty healthy and lively to me. I don't think any of them are starving.
came home from my test and had 2 peanut butter sandwiches! now i think chocolate yogurt is on the menu!!! :D
My issues go back to, I remeber my mom literally having to check the furnance registers, to see if there was any change to buy bread. We were poor in a upper middle class neighborhood. Of course my sisters and I had to do the shopping, and the embarrassment I felt having to use food stamps has stuck with me 40 years on. We had bean soup/baked beans so much I get nausuous when ever I even smell bean soup. But my dad always had the butter, the Wonder bread, the good stuff. We got the generic day old bread and margarine if we were lucky. We very seldom got good food, lots of hot dogs, hamburgers, bbq. Never had alot of fruit or veggies. I was so frustrated by the lack of food, I now buy what I want, and eat when I want. It is my little way of saying FUCK you to my dad. Another reason I am now over 400#, is, when I am fat, men don't look at me. All of my sisters and i were molested. If I am fat, then men won't want/bother/take advantage of me. I could start my own blog on food issues :-) Smoking, I started at 21. Smoked 2 packs for 10 years. Then, I got blood clots in my lungs; that stopped my smoking! 17 years, 7 months, 1 week, 1 day, and 12 hours ago is when I quit. But that Allen Carr book, Easy ways to Stop Smoking or something, has worked for 2 of my sisters, and several of their friends. Might not hurt to try it!
Kiki, I'm 52 and only recently had the guts to distance myself somewhat from a mother Very similar to yours. She's still jealous of anything I do when she can't take the attention away from me.
I wish I had had your determination, but became more and more anxious and antisocial.
One thing she didn't do, was to control food or give us any food issues. I'm thankful for that, after reading all these posts.
oh kiki i haven't heard that queen song in a long time....freddie mercury, what an artist!
Anon my mom & 4 sisters ( who are all under
her control and live unmarried in her house and
in their forties) have not been to my house in over
7 years because we had a pool put in with a waterfall
and they didnot want to see it due to jealousy.
It was the straw that broke all their jealous backs
that Im successful not by any help from her.
When I built the house I live in now about 9 years ago
it wasy fifth home and custom designed they all
came to see it and were so jealous afterward
that have made every excuse not to return when
I invited them over again. I just stopped bothering
they all have a victim mentality. I'm not so sure
why but it's where they Wang to be and that's where they
stay to this day. Now as for me I don't think it's
determination on my part I think my OCD got
the best of me and in order to be able to keep on
top pf it I needed money so I worked my head off
studying and I got a good carreer 26years plus with
a co pension et al. I think the OCD made me strive
for the perfection Its kinda hard to obtain but I have
busted my guts so that my kids would never have to
even know what I went thru scrounging around the house
for any semblance of normalcy & acceptence. That came
in the man I owe all to today my dear father who is 77
and has always been positive and loved me unconditionally
I'm the oldest of all daughter dynamic family with
a battleaxe for a mother and my dads wife she is
in charge of their whole life $ food home et al.
My dad has found ways of tuning her out she
is abusive to him still to this day but he is active and
volunteers alot and get out from her clutches.
I'm glad I have him he's not rich monetarily but
but he is a great dad full of love and understanding
as with this OCD he has it too and he's helped
me deal with it early on. I have his handsome looks and
if u like me u will love my dad I have inherited
his personality entirely love of music gardening etc.
Miss Tia I love love love Freddie I still miss him
he died 18 years ago on tues nov 24 1991. RIP
18 years?! THAT long?! wow.....didn't know it was that long ago...LOVE Queen!!! And i am sorry, touring with the singer from Bad Company is NOT Queen! that ticks me off.....Queen is NOT Queen w/o Freddie Mercury!
Miss Tia ita no 1 will ever replace Freddie
No 1 so they can all go FUCK OFF !!!!!
Yes it will be 18 years on nov 24 th that he died.
I still think about him I loved him he was a
rocketship waiting to reload like an atom bomb
.... I'm gonna go go go go go EXPLODE !!!!
DONT STOP ME NOW !!!!! I live this song everyday :)
My husband comes from a large family. His parents were very frugal, but they always had food to eat. The one thing they did not have was sodas. They had Kool-Ade. So as soon as he started making his one money, he always had a Coke in his hand. No water--never, just Cokes. The same with cigarettes. A big chain smoker! He found out he had diabetes a long time before I found out. He never told me. Well, to make a very long story (about 7 yrs.) short--diabetes, caffeine and nicotine and the way
he abused them finally has done us in. Whithin the last 2 months, he has been diagnosed with acute dementia (with akathisia--constant movement) and renal failure. I haven't worked in 2 months. Three weeks ago, I finally had to put him into a nursing home. He is 59 yrs.old! Every bit of money we had has gone into paying medical bills. We filed for bankruptsy and I may lose my home because I can't make the house note with my salary alone. I pleaded with my husband to stop smoking or cut down. I tried to get him to drink Diet Cokes and more water. I cooked him food that he wouldn't eat. He would tell me to stop nagging at him, it was his life.
Because of his habits, I have lost my best friend, my lover, my companion, my partner and my way of life. I could never make him understand it was not just his life, it was our life.
Anon with the 59 year old husband -
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I have come to believe that our bodies store much of the toxic stuff we put into it and it accumulates in various places, causing disease. People anxiously try to get the right vitamins into their bodies, unaware that the crap they eat and breathe are doing the real harm. (I did that for many years before I finally had to decide to NOT eat any processed foods, drink lots and lots of water and I also gave up nearly all supplements)
I think Diet soda is pure evil so he was probably much better off drinking sugar than that horrible toxic stuff that turns into formaldahyde in your body!
It's true that health is wealth and I hope you can stay healthy.
Kiki, my father is a good man, but he never took any interest in his family. He provided, was always decent, but lived in his own quiet way, never interacting with me directly, never talking to me. So I never had any support in my family - I had exactly no one as my ally. Maybe that's why I didn't have the guts to do what I wanted to do. My marks were great and my teachers encouraged me to go to university, but every time I enrolled, i would sabotage myself with deep depression and anxiety. I'm happy that my own kids are doing well in university now (one in engineering and one in microbiology) I've alway told them how much I regretted not going. I know those fears run deep and affect our lives so strongly.
Matilda,
That's funny..... I've also been worried a lot about MY oral fixation. I formally quit smoking back in April but have been sneaking one in every now and again lately. I've also gained a lot of weight and now I'm addicted to nicotine gum. *sigh*. I have no words of advice for you but I know where you're coming from and I'm desperate too.
Also, Miss Tia...... your story almost made me cry. Everyone deserves food.
Wow! A lot of sad stories! But now I'm even more determined to get my health back on track before it's too late.
I'm sick of being a food addict and I'm fed up with smoking. I've been slowly killing myself and that's bullshit. It's time to take control of my life instead of letting my addictions take control over me.
I care about each and every one of you and hope that your "issues" whatever they may be can be resolved and you can find some happiness and peace of mind.
Wow. I had no idea there would be so many comments about this. I am touched at how many people were open and wanted to talk about this. I have my own issues, but too much to type here. Reading everyone's issues here has made me feel not so. . . weird.
And Matilda;
I am about fed up with smoking too.
Anon Im so sorry about your husband and your
situation. I agree with the health care bill.
It's such a shame to not be able to afford a
hospital bill that puts u in jeopardy of losing your
home. But that's a whole new post. I live in
Canada and have never had to think of it
only recently since the vote in the USA did
I realize how the INS co & hmos are only covers
for big busine$$ !! I agree with the poster who
said that the diet sweetners are poison and
also supplements too big $$$$ the only sup
we need is vitamin D smoking is an addictive
habit and oral fixation yes water is life drink
as much as u can everyday and also try some
tea any flavour it all water really. Coffee not so much.
The amount of calories in a fancy coffee !!!!!
Try to avoid it all together. Tea has 3cals btw.
Like I said it another way to get your water in
your daily diet and there are so many nice fruity
flavours all natural u can add a lemon orange slice
and make your own out of just regular black or green
teas. Add some ice and u can turn it into a cool drink.
Makes a lot of sense and helps ward off kidney stones.
Gall stones. It's a relaxing ritual and a treat to
make a pot of tea and have a cup or two try it.
I'm the tea lover who just posted anon by
accident btw just now. Kiki in Canada :)
Hi Pat,
Didn't mean to make you almost cry. Thanks for your empathy.
To everyone else, it was good to hear all your stories. Sad that so many of us have theses issues. Glad we have a place to get it out. It's kind of like group therapy to me. I have lots more I could tell but I am happy I was able to give a much different life to my daughter. My siblings, not so much. They didn't grow from our situation. Sad.
5:59...I feel your pain! My husband just this week finally got convonced by us & his Dr's that diet soda is waaaay bad! He has started drinking regular Coke & Pepsi now. I swear, if he is out of pop, he will make a Dollar Store run just for pop! I say drink water juice. He looks at me like I am from Mars. I do not drink any pop, for health reasons. I cant. But diet pop is bad. I am sorry about your husbands health but it may not have been from the cokes & cigs at all. Maybe it would have happened no matter what he did. I am so sorry. I feel so bad for you. I know I live day to day worrying about paying my bills. If I lose 1 day of work, I am a dead duck! I know I am not alone in this boat tho. Sadly. Take care. xo
rox
SharnaPax, once again you amaze me at the similarities in our lives. I think you're my twin from another mother. I should list them, you'd freak out too. OMG.
So many people have food issues. We were raised eating healthy, for the most part. We were raised in south Louisiana so the food is very bad for you health wise. She cooked cajun dishes, sure, but we were only allowed to have a portion of each dish. No heaping helpings. If we were still hungry we were told to eat fruit or veggies. Thoses we could eat our fill of. Fried chicken or rice and gravy, no.
When I moved out I became a fast food junkie. I am 15 lbs overweight. I would like to blame my mother but my older sister was raised exactly the same and she never touches junk food. Eats mostly veggies and fruit and works out every single day. And guess what? We are both happy.
The Gosselin kids are not starving. They may want more junk food but that doesn't mean they need it. Kate Gosseline does A LOT of wrong things. What mother doesn't? But picking on her about food is ridiculous, in my opinion. Those kids eat appropriate sized portions for their age and size. I think she's starting them off great, food wise. They eat anything she puts in front of them. That is amazing to me.
Well, it seems a lot of us have issues with food, lack of food, addictions. Many of these comments made me cry. I think we have a lot more to talk about here. Maybe we can help each other.
1:25:00 PM, thank you for commenting and giving your opinion, but, I don't agree with you. I see the kids who will do anything for food. I don't see the right portions or the right food on their plate. I don't mean to say they're starving, that would be silly, but, food is a control tool for Kate and I think they already have food issues. Why would she let the girls have cupcakes in front of the boys? That was cruel and it was a punishment. And that's one small example of Kate and her food issues.
Anonymous said,
They eat anything she puts in front of them. That is amazing to me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That should tell you something anonymous...most kids will not do that...it tells me the kids are so hungry that the paper plate would be eaten if need be...I don't agree with Kate's using of food to make them sit still during interviews etc...I think that is horrible. I think it is cruel how she lets one child have a certain food and the others sitting there drooling over it...
Freddie =( I really miss him. Queen got me through my teens and Queen is not Queen without him. I have 17 of their albums and don't like any of the songs most people know them for.
Already posted about food on another of your threads so I won't bore you with more of my stories. I did have a sister with Anorexia though, so every single meal was a war between my mother and her and neither side was willing to give. It was yelling and threats for every meal for years. There was no need for it.
Frim, I have never had an eating disorder, but, I want to do a post on it. I know there are people on her who understand it and can tell us about it.
Did't have the same food issues growning up that so many of you did. Had alot of other issues with Mother, but not food. Mine were of my own making. We didn't have much in our house, but we always had three healthy meals a day. Dinner every night was meat/ starch/ veggies. (but, absolutely nothing in between) My mother had a rotating menu of about 7-10 items. My problem? I didn't like it. Ate very little as a kid and my poor dad had to sit at the table EVERY night, sometimes for two hours, until I 'finished' my meal. Usually he gave up, or I stuffed it in my cheeks. To this day I can't eat a lima bean, beet, or pea. Some things I just could not swollow, they gag me.
During the years when married w/ kids, I loved cooking for everyone. Now with an empty house, I only eat enough to sustain the body.
CJ, I never understood that "clean your plate" mentality. Seems to me that causes problems too. Sigh. I think kids need to be required to try everything, but, never eat everything. Oh, geez, I hate beets.
Pat, you amaze me, too. We really should list our similarities!
That would be both fun and spooky.
SharnaPax, my family is Cherokee (I'm the albino in the woodpile, ha.) I have a Quija board as a decoration. I avoid previously used items if I get bad vibes. I have a controlling mother. There's a lot more. Everytime I see a comment by you, I think OMG..I do that/think that too! It's so weird.
As shocked as I am by everyone's food issues, I am even more stunned by the sheer amount of us who have crazy, controlling, batshit-nuts mothers around here. Is every mom insane or is Pat just attracting all of us because of her own mom issues?
To add to the discussion, my mother was fat and would obsess over my weight so I was not allowed to have any sweets (she, however, was) so that I wouldn't get 'fat like her' It was my childhood mantra, "You don't want to get fat like me." Meanwhile, she chowed down while I ate bland, tasteless chili for almost every meal and drank my father's watery iced tea. 2 bags of Lipton's per one gallon of water. No sugar allowed. She also would not allow me to drink milk or to eat cereal more than a couple of times a week so that the gallon would last 2 weeks. When I got pregnant she would scream at me for drinking a quart of milk a day even though it was my damned milk! I had an MRI at 35 and they told me I have osteoperosis. Maybe I would have got it anyway but I blame that bitch.
I would say that the issue repeats itself on my own child. I am always baking sugary treats for him and when he drinks a gallon of milk in one day it secretly makes me feel good....... superior to my mother and a 'good' parent. Having had such a fucked up childhood, I never learned how to parent. All I know is what NOT to do. And I've spent most of his childhood trying to get his approval. I'm clingy and fucked up and probably just as harmful to my child as my mom was to me. But I constantly fear that he feels unloved and I obsess over it. When I ask him if he feels loved he looks at me like I'm stupid and says 'yes.' I THINK that's the proper response. I tell myself that children are supposed to feel like it's normal to feel loved. But then I worry that I'm smothering him.
Wow you guys, I was reading through all the comments, and I'm baffled at how many of you have had shitty parents or a shitty childhood as the common denominator (except a couple) for your issues with food. So not fair, so wrong in so many levels.
I like food. It's one of the things I enjoy preparing and eating, and I enjoy cooking for others too. Food has never been a problem growing up, my parents never used it as a weapon for control, if there ever was any. It wasn't a problem even when all through my childhood I was annoyed by family members including grandparents (all on my dad's side) calling me 'fatty' when I really wasn't a big kid, I was pretty normal, I just wasn't scrawny full of junk food with rotten teeth like my 'pretty' cousins (yes, to this day there is that favoritism, even though my 'perfect' cousins are the most fucked up bitches due to all their entitlement, that one could be a whole post on fucked up family members). I also never understood the need for the 'clean plate'. One of my aunts used to force feed and beg her children to eat, the kid would throw a fit cause she didn't wanna eat, she would even say 'I have to poop' to not eat and my aunt would follow her to the potty with the plate of food. If we didn't wanna eat and wanted to pull that crap with my parents, the plate would be taken away and put on the kitchen counter for when we were done with the fit we could go get it ourselves and eat (cold), but she wouldn't force feed us, or wait for us to finish. She would also only cook what my brother and I liked so that we'd eat, until we learned to eat other things. One thing is for sure, children ALWAYS came first in my parents list of priorities. If we were ever tight, my brother and I were always the first ones to get food.
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