Thursday, April 22, 2010

Slavery still exists in America

People that don't think slavery exists should get to know my mother. She has a new slave now. I used to be her slave and she would plan every day of my life, since I moved here. Not one single day was I free to do what I wanted. And about the only people who know that are you guys, my readers. You guys know me better than most people in this town, because I spend most of my time in my house alone with the door locked and the shades pulled. I only go out when I have to work and people pay me to talk to them.
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I have very few real friends..I have a few though. But, everyone in this tiny town knows who everyone else is. You can't go anywhere here without having a conversation with several people and that's why I only run errands when I have to. I stock up and stay my ass at home. Everyone thinks they know me, but, they don't know me. So, anyhow..it's become clear that there's only one side to a story in this town. My mother has made her rounds. I saw the doctor and he asked how she was and "how was she getting around?" There's nothing wrong with her, so she had to be in there giving him her sob story about her awful daughter who won't drive her Miss Daisy to hell ass around anymore. Same act at the bank, "Oh, your mother isn't with you today?" No, she got a new slave. So everyone in town who thinks they know everything but, don't, thinks I'm the asshole crazy daughter who beats drums and builds midnight bonfires and worships Satan and is mean to her sweet old mother. . And I don't tell them anything because they piss me off.
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She should tell them I offered her every Tuesday and check day rides, but, that wasn't good enough. You have to be on call for her every single day of your life. Not only her, but, any of her relatives. Constant. "Your aunt is having her hair done, get over there. Your brother needs foot powder, get out there." All day long. So, I finally told her to fuck off..as you know.
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So now she's got a new scheme and a new slave. My cousin Joey. He's such a nice guy and I know he didn't really believe me about my mother and how she can be, because she acts so sweet. Well, now he knows, I saw it in his eyes the other day. He looked like a belly shot dog. She gave him my brothers car, which isn't even hers and now he has to run her all over. He probably figured this was a piece of cake, since he has to take his famous book writing grandma around anyway, but, now he's trapped. And he's too nice to tell her to GO FUCK DIRT, like I did. Yes, I really did.
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The kicker came yesterday when I was letting my dog pee and I heard the two old bitch sisters in the driveway..they were getting into their new slave's car..and Aunt Bitch Face says "Oh, Louella, you don't deserve to be treated like this. We're both good people. " And they looked over at me and I went in and slammed the door. FUCK DIRT. I found out a long time ago, if someone has to tell you that they're a "good person"..they aren't. You mark my words and if you hear someone say that, run like hell. Run like you have the runs and a potential load in your pants.

19 comments:

Dan Zinski said...

Oh I love it when people drop that "I'm a good person" thing on you. I got that from an asshole recently who was giving me shit and I just said, "Prove it."

Angie said...

Awesome response :)

Miss Tia said...

just because you say something a million times does not make it true!

Alison said...

I've noticed your mom and aunts are always talking about how good they are. "We're so good, we don't deserve anything bad, we're always nice", blah blah blah. It astounds me that people who are such obvious assholes can think so highly of themselves.

I feel bad for Joey since of course he must feel indebted to your mom for giving him the car. A car is a big purchase. But no car is worth that type of shit. Also since you said his mom was an author I assume she's the one who wrote that nonsense about herself being born while "In the ghetto" was playing?

Cynthia said...

Free at last, free at last! Thank god almighty, you're free at last!

And all it took was a second-hand car and a gullible cousin. Who knew?!

Dirty Disher said...

I think someone is sending them this blog. So, tell those bitches to GO FUCK DIRT.

Anonymous said...

What? Like printing it and sending it to them in the mail? Cuz I know they can't operate a computer. Well, poor old things, of course they don't deserve to be treated that way! Gawd! That poor guy is going to park that car in her driveway & leave the keys in it and walk himself back home! Trust me, it wont last. Nobody can endure that, not a young person that might actually want a personal life!! So, they will be stranded yet again. How come neither of them can drive? They never learned? They always had someone take them places? I would have been hiding from them years ago! If you didnt live by her, you would have much better health ya know.
Love you,
Rox

Dirty Disher said...

yes, printing it. They can drive, well Bitch Face can't but my mom can. She let her license go because she likes to have a driver. And a carrier..and a waiter..and oh fuck her.

Anonymous said...

In my family our mother was ALWAYS saying "I'm a nice mom" but she hit us every day. So you grow up thinking it must be your fault that this "nice" person is smacking you around all the time. In adulthood you find yourself making excuses for them. I didn't realize until later in life that I was constantly disregarding her abusive ways because 'her intentions are good--she just doesn't know any better." Both my parents were physically abusive; my dad finally admitted he was wrong, but my mom never did.

Christina said...

Actually, Pat isn't free. As long as she has to curtail her movements around town, and stay locked in her home with the blinds down, she is not free. The best thing in the world, would be for someone else to be driving them somewhere, when a terrible accident would take out both the passengers, but not the driver. I feel like a very bad person for saying that, but it's really how I see it. It really is too bad that two evil old biddies don't have anything to do but make people miserable.

miss tia said...

HEY PAT'S MOM AND AUNT, OVER HERE, LOOKY HERE I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU:

GO FUCK DIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UNSINCERELY,
MISS TIA

miss tia said...

I GOT SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY TOO:

you take advantage of the truly good people, like Pat is, and if someone does not bend to your will and manipulation you proclaim them evil....who are you to judge? ye self-professed judging is against what your god says in matthew 7:1....

you use, manipulate and when someone says ENOUGH you start to harass them more....you wanna see evil? look in a mirror!

GO FUCK DIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still unsincerely, though i sincerely want you to fuck off and leave pat alone,
miss tia

Maureen said...

They are probably nicer to your cousin, people are usually nicer to anyone other than their own immediate family. It's called two-faced.
I recall, years ago, when I was a waitress,if someone said they were a good tipper, they always sucked. So, I guess if someone has to make it a point to tell you they are a good, anything, like you said, RUN!!!

Frimmy said...

Forrest Gump would say "Good is as good does"

So for the sake of DD's family I'll make this as monosyllabic as I can:

BE good and you'd never have to waste your breath telling people that you ARE good.

Meanwhile, I'll be joining the rest of the group running from people who DO say that and I'd like to add that I'm happy you have disentangled yourself from slavery DD.

Ella said...

Yep, you're right, when people have to tell you that they're good it's time to run. Sounds more like they're trying to convince themselves, never works. You're poor cousin. People need to stop giving things with strings attached or be upfront about the damn strings in the first place, such as yes, you can have this car, but you have to cart my ass around when I call you until I drop dead or the car croaks, whichever comes first, rather than doing the guilt trip or the nagging after giving the "gift". Oh, it's always the vile old biddies that out live everyone because they're so full of poison. People like this irritate me to no end, they're the reason the nice family members all drop dead first.

Sounds like your mom needs to go try & get her license back. Hopefully she'll read this & realize it's not her right to be a burden to her daughter!!!! Leave her alone you crazy old coots & stop spreading your smarmy nonsense!!!

DD, you make me wish the Gypsy branch of my family still wandered through towns & kidnapped people, but they haven't done that for over 100 years. If they did I'd send them your way.

Dirty Disher said...

You guys rock.

Unknown said...

Sorry to hear about your problems with your mom and aunt dd. Someday hopefully soon. Those 2 women will learn their lessons in life. You don't treat others like trash. When they go out of their way to take care of them. Those 2 take everything for granted. I cant stand people who think they are entitled getting their own way all the time.

They will use this other person to. Draw all their energy out just for their pleasure.

NancyB said...

Hey Pat, these are my most favorite DD type of posts.(and Lissa & garden and anything about your personal life) I only got through the 1st paragraph and I'm giggling already! This IS why I think that you should write the book -- I guarantee it will sell big time. Now, I will go and read the rest of this post s-l-o-w-l-y to relish the fun.

NancyB said...

To Pat's Mom & Louella,
Pat's offer of every Tuesday and check day rides was really very nice, in my opinion. Too bad that the two of you did not think so....GO FUCK DIRT!