Poem for a Sociopath (and a website)

Sociopath
By J. Boehm
Aren’t we taught there is good in every person?
But some are so evil you couldn’t imagine
Living with us in greater numbers than you can fathom
With no conscience to hinder their action
Their charm and wit gets us every time
Along with abundant compliments sublime
They will make you feel sorry for them too
With sad stories they never even went through
Every word they say is a lie
They are experts at feigning a cry
You may have reached out to a human shell
Believing all the lies they tell
If they hook you because of your trusting nature
You are not to blame for your kind gesture
They are practiced masters of deception
For those who have not yet learned the lesson

*****************************

I got that off a website called 'LoveFraud', it's HERE. I've been reading there for hours. It's fascinating. It not only helps identify Sociopaths, Psychopaths and Narcissists, but, there are endless stories on there and comments are awesome. There is legal advice and notification of new laws and all sorts of info.

I got there through Dear Abby today. As usual, I started out my morning with a cup of coffee and the news, and Abby. I don't think Abby is the sharpest pencil in the box, but, I love Abbyland comments. I've told you all that before. Amazing posters, she has. Anyway, today there was a letter from a woman who was afraid of her partner and Abby helpfully advised couseling. Really? I was thinking 'get the fuck out'! Seemed a lot of Abby readers agreed with me and one of them posted a link to 'LoveFraud'.

Sociopaths, Psychopaths (what is the difference in those two?) and Narcissists are so fucking common, you wouldn't believe it. Or maybe you would. I guess people don't believe it because not all of them harm anyone or do anything illegal. They are just cold, uncaring people who go through life doing what's best for themselves. When we think of those types of personality disorders (they are not mental illness's) we think of serial killers and pedos, etc. But, the truth is, there is a huge gray area of these monsters. The ones who aren't killers or rapers, they are just destroyers. They may be out there looking for someone like you, or maybe they have found you. They don't always have to have a reason. It's not always about sex, money or things. Sometimes it's only about control. About the game. It's actually very common. Has it happened to you?

PS, there is a helpful picture of someone who may be a Sociopath. Yeah, that made me laugh too. We also assume, or I did, that LoveFraud is about men who con woman and ruin their lives, but, the perp could also be your relative, a friend, your boss..whatever. They are everywhere.

UFO fireball releases pod or..something

A UFO fireball over the skies of Southern California was filmed and that video is HERE. It is one of the oddest things I've ever seen. If it's a meteor, then why is there an orb coming out of it and going in the opposite direction? It's worth watching.

Teresa Giudice reported to prison

Tree went to prison last Monday night. She spent the day with her family and they all attended mass. The four girls will stay with Juicy Joe until Tree serves out her 15 month sentence and then he will go in to do his time. Since it's federal prison, it sounds like she will have to do at least a year before she can get parole or any good time.

You can disagree with me (seems everyone does on this), but, I think it's ridic that Teresa is doing any time at all. I've seen the stupidest comments, like they should apologize to all the people they stole millions from and I think, what people? What fucking people did they steal money from? What money did they actually steal? I read all the shit on them. It was all loan fraud shit. They committed fraudulent information to obtain large loans. Screwed some banks. Like I care. Sorry, but, I don't. Anyway, Juicy knew what was up, but, I don't think she had a clue. She just signed like he told her. Even if she did, I don't care, she still shouldn't be doing time over this bullshit. It was loans, not stealing. No one said they had no intention of paying it back ever. Because no one but them knows. If they hadn't been given prison sentences, maybe the banks would have gotten their money. I have no idea and neither does anyone else.

All I know, is sending some reality stars to prison for fraudulent loan information, when this is a first offence for either one (as far as I know) is just stupid. It's all publicity. I've seen a dude who broke into a warehouse here to steal a case of beer get seven years with no parole. I've seen another dude who raped and killed an infant and he got three years with good time. Sentences should make sense and be fair across the country. It's not like the Giudice's walked into the bank with a gun and held them up. Fuck. They just told some lies and forged some signatures. It's done and overlooked everyday and we all know it.

Her prison is medium security, so it won't be so bad. She'll have things to do there and people to hang with. It's not a place where they keep you locked in a cell all day. I think she'll do just fine other than missing her kids. They probably even have a styling salon in there, no shit. She'll most likely write a book about it all. Or hire someone to write a book. It'll probably be a best seller too.

A lot of people were making joks about Tree's New Year resolutions. She said she wanted to avoid negative people and most carbs.  You know, like you can't do that in prison. Why can't you? You can try and avoid anyone you don't want to deal with. As for carbs, she can buy her own food in a medium security facility. You wouldn't have a lot of variety, but, you can get nuts, trail mix, soups, juices, bottled water, fruits. They do serve salads, fruits and produce in the cafeteria too. It may not be Fabulicious, but, I've eaten it and it's not bad. She just shouldn't be there at all. That's my opinion. Our prisons are very crowded and it costs a lot to keep an inmate (because the states are stupid). Save prisons for real criminals, people who rape and murder, etc. Not some dingy housewife who writes cook books.

You Talk, Pete

You Talk
He may not be everyone's cup o tea, but, I love him and his guitar playing, which borders on amature. What he lacks in teqnique, he makes up for in pure emotion.

Pete Dohtery out of rehab

Pete's out of rehab, straight and writing music again. He has a new record contract and he's back with his band doing gigs. I went to You Tube and listened to a couple of interviews. I've never heard Pete talk when he's straight. I don't know if I like it or not, it's weird. I always thought Pete would go before his friend Amy Winehouse, but, Pete hung in there and now he's clean. I was always a fan of Pete and his band, Babyshambles. I really dig his music and he seems like such a sweet person, but, Pete straight? I just can't get my mind around it. I wish him well. But, once heavy users like Pete do the rehab thing, that's usually when they die. I don't mean to sound shitty, but, they do. Like Janis Joplin or even Amy. They get clean and then do a load like they used to and bam, they die. Amy died of fucking alcohol poisoning. It doesn't get lamer than that. Stay well Pete.

Bono says he probably can't ever play guitar again

I've never been a Bono fan. Maybe it's not cool to admit this, but, I couldn't tell  you one thing Bono has done other than preach and march for every 'cause' he has, which I am also not interested in. But, then I read that Bono got fucked up, and I mean really fucked up in a bike accident and he doesn't think he'll ever be able to play his guitar again. He fucked up his hand really bad and now has a titanium elbow. Fuck! I feel really bad for the dude. I know when people play guitar and they're good, the guitar becomes part of them, it's like it's growing from their side. They are rarely without it.

I don't know if it's like that with other instruments. I've seen good piano players that can just walk away when they're done playing. Guitar players aren't like that. Some of them literally sleep with their guitars in case they get inspiration in the middle of the night. My son was like that. Hell, I'm not even that good, but, my guitars are always right here behind my chair where I can touch them. It's not uncommon now for me to just be holding one when I have a conversation with someone. Strumming it unplugged. Or if some song comes on the computer, it doesn't even matter what it is, like, yesterday it was a shaving cream commercial with that old song 'Venus' and I thought, hey, I can play that and grabbed my guitar. I went six years without touching a guitar after my son died and now it's like I have a part of myself back when I pick one up. If I feel that way, can you imagine what someone like Bono is feeling? I seriously hope he's wrong and can get back to his guitar and his band. I wish him well.

So long Donna Douglas

Awww, Donna Douglas passed away. Not much is being said about it, but, I thought I'd put a goodbye on here, I always liked her. Donna was 81, I don't know what she passed of, it was her time, that's all. We all know her as Ellie May with her critters, that's for sure. She was so cute with all those animals and the goin's on sometimes got risqué out at the cement pond with Donna in a modern bathing suit. When Granny decided to give a naked Ellie a good scrubbin' in a tub, all the men in America tuned in that night, even the ones who thought they were too sophisticated to watch the Hillbillies.

Donna had a solid television career before the Hillbillies though and one of my favorite performances of hers was when she was in the Twilight Zone episode called 'Eye Of The Beholder'. I love that episode and you can watch it HERE. She also starred in the movie, Frankie And Johnny with Elvis, it was one of his more popular (cornball) movies. I think because Donna was in it. So, rest in peace, Donna, you will be missed.

New piercings

Since there is no place to get a  gun piercing around here and I was in the mood, I gave myself a shitload of new ear piercings using the old needle and thread method. I will NEVER do a stud piercing again, that was ridiculous and got horribly infected. It hurt like a mother and I couldn't sleep on my left side for weeks. But, my first piercings I did myself when I was like, 13 or 14 with a needle and thread and they were fine. I did find out that as the years passed the holes stretched out and now I can't wear a tiny stud in them, because the whole stud will slip through. That's because I had no advice and I used a big darning needle to make a nice sized hole. This time I used the tiniest needle in my sewing kit, and plain old sturdy thread.

I put two more holes in each lobe, going up (they already had two and one had three). Then I pierced what they call the orbital on each side. It has a lot of cartilage and I thought it might hurt, but, it didn't and the needle went through pretty easy. The others didn't hurt at all either, though it was tough pushing the needle through. I ended up getting a pot holder to give me some traction and shoving hard several times to get it done. However, there was no pain at all. It hurt much less than when a nurse gives you a shot in the arm. Some people recommend ice to numb and a potato in back to catch the needle. I didn't bother with that stuff. I mean, geez, it's just a little fat or cartilage. I figured, how hard could it be? I was right. Not bad at all.

I left a couple inches of the thread and tied it off in a circle. It's been two days and they are just fine. No pain, no infection and the threads move freely. I soak them in isopropyl alcohol every day and pull the thread through. I figure they'll be all healed in a month and I can remove the thread and put in my earrings.

I want three more piercing going up the side of the lobe and I want to pierce that thing there they call the tragus. It feels thick and full of cartilage, so I don't know how that will go. I'll let you know when these new ones heal. But, so far, I am happy and pain free. If you feel like trying a needle piercing, I think you should just do it. Be sure and use a small, sharp needle. Clean it well with the alcohol and soak the string too. Dip your fingers in the alcohol too, just to be sure everything is very clean. I swear to you, it doesn't hurt at all. In my opinion, it hurts much less than the gun peircings, which don't hurt when they do them, but, get pretty sore afterwards when you have to keep twisting that stud. The string is much more gentle.

Now, I'm wondering how hard it would be to pierce my eyebrow? I've always wanted an eyebrow piercing. I might have to Google that.

Another fucking Hollywood dumb ass

I am done with this bitch. I used to like Kaley Cuoco, now, I am done with her silly ass. This bitch is no kid. She is 29 years old and when asked about feminism she responded with this: "Is it bad if I say no? It’s not really something I think about. Things are different now, and I know a lot of the work that paved the way for women happened before I was around… I was never that feminist girl demanding equality, but maybe that’s because I’ve never really faced inequality. I cook for Ryan five nights a week: It makes me feel like a housewife; I love that. I know it sounds old-fashioned, but I like the idea of women taking care of their men. I’m so in control of my work that I like coming home and serving him. My mom was like that, so I think it kind of rubbed off.”

****
Listen up, you dumb cunt, if you want to cook for your man, you can still be a feminist. It has nothing to do with things like that. How fucking hard is it for someone like you to simply look up the word 'Feminism'? How hard??? Feminism mean equality. Men and women are equal. That is all there is too it. If you have never experienced inequality it IS because of those that paved the way for you. Thank them and go wait on yer damn man hand and foot. That is a choice, you get choices because of those who have fought for equality before you, you stupid dumb cunt. I can't take any more of these idiot women who can't be bothered to look up the meaning of one fucking word before they start spewing about it in magazines. Shut your dumb pie hole, idiot. I mean it! Shut the fuck up.

Family Christmas photos

Top one is all three grandkids together. Gabe was more interested in getting back to his presents, he's seen the baby already. Lissa was making faces at Lila Snow. I was worried because there had been some jealousy there, but, then she actually held Lila and fell in love. She even spent a ton of her own money on Lila and said she was going to cuss less so Lila doesn't learn bad words. I about fell over, so it's all cool.

There's yours truly holding the baby. That first photo, I used the erase tool to take out my brown spots and a zit. I put that on Face Book and everyone said I looked great, so I told them I photo shopped it. But, people on Face Book don't read what you write, that place is such an egotistical fool's paradise. The second one is reality, warts and all. I look like a haggard sick old bag, because that's what I am. But, I have to tell you, Lila Snow is the most adorable baby ever. She is so tiny, I changed her little tiny diaper and I can't believe they make pants that small. She smiles too, real smiles. When her dad and I were playing the guitar, she opened her eyes and grinned. I adore her.

The next one is Alex and Sarah, those two are just happy together and happy to be parents. It warms my heart. I hate mushy stuff, but, really, they are the happiest little family and they both accept Lissa as part of it. She spent Christmas night with them and came home happy.

Next, my beautiful daughter, Casey J and her husband Dan. Casey really is the sweetest girl in the world. She didn't get that from me, but, I'm glad she is. Dan is a true smart ass and quite funny, he cracks me up. He is so much like me, you'd think I gave birth to him. They've been together since she was 16! I remember telling her boys come and go, but, I was wrong. They're still together, married now and parents to many animals. Someday, they'll have real children. That's just something I know.

Next up is a Christmas photo that had me rolling on the floor. Dan, sleeping with the pets. I told Casey that should be her Christmas card next year..or mine.

Then we have Gabey with Lila. He loves being a big brother for a change. He hams it up for the camera though. I can't hardly get a pic of his real smile. But, trust me, he is the sweetest, most polite little boy I have ever known. He makes me proud, like when I take him to daycare, everyone fawns on him because he's just so easy and nice to everyone.

Then, that's Casey J and her cat Lainey. I rescued Lainey in an ice storm as a starving tiny kitten and Casey and Dan took her in. She was named, by me, after a character on that Alley McBeal show. 'Member that? That's been a LONG time ago. Lainey is getting old. She's a real nice cat.

Lissie Lou doing duck lips. WTF is it with girls and duck lips? Sigh. It drives me crazy. So does Nicki Minaj. Everything here is Nicki Minaj. I've had to listen to every song on her new album. I hate them all. I retaliated by making the kid listen to CCR, Cindi Lauper and other stuff I like. It backfired, she is now a Marilyn Manson fan and asks me to play him constantly. It's okay, I love him, but, I have to be in a Marilyn mood. She loves that song 'Tainted Love', so do I, but, not at 6 am.

Last, is our demon cat from hell. He's getting big. He is going to be a huge tom cat one day. I am so mad at him right now. He stole the chain from the necklace Casey got me for Christmas. It has a kink in it, so I took it off to straighten it out and he stole it! It was really nice too, delicate silver and now it's lost. I'll find it eventually, but, he really pisses me off. Last night he thought it would be fun to jump inside a bag of cat litter and scatter it over two rooms. I spent an hour cleaning that up. That's not even close to all he's pulled this week, but, this morning he wanted, demanded, his tuna. I told him to go fuck himself. He can eat dry Friskies all day. He aint gettin' shit from me. In fact, I kicked him out in a snow storm. He thinks it's great. He's out there acting like an asshole and won't come back in. He's knocking on different doors and then running. Some game he came up with. He actually knocks too, not scratching like most cats do. He really is nuts.

So, we had a great Christmas, Lis got lots of money which is her favorite and lots and lots of new makeup. We didn't get overloaded like usual. And I just bought simple things for everyone and a couple of good presents for each kid. Lissa's favorite presents from me were the new Twister game. You can hook your phone or iPod to them now and a pink framed full length mirror because the cat broke our old one. Girls need mirrors. So, I am not flat broke and everyone is happy. Lissa got to spend one night and day with her dad and Sarah and two days with her Grandpa Black and his wife Laura who is so good to Lissa, I just think I'm blessed to know that woman. She is no longer a 'step', she's a real grandma. And they have a teen daughter, Sonya, who Lis loves and looks up too. She stays in Sonya's room and they have pajama parties. They get up to all kinds of minor trouble and have a lot of fun. And I don't know if I'm supposed to tell this or not, but, Lis started her period over there. I guess it's okay if I tell it, she's not the least bit embarrassed or shy about it. Laura took care of her and showed her the ropes. She's actually excited about it. Gawd, she's only 10. I'm glad that she could be with Laura when it happened, if she couldn't be with me. Growing up is hard. At least she has duck lips and Nicki Minaj..and a ton of assorted family to help her along.

I scored some nice stuff too. Casey sent me a bag of awesome lotions and potions, some Astrological cards, which I haven't figured out, but, man, are they pretty. And of course, her handmade ceramic tiles. They're beautiful and I want to use them in the new house. Oh, and that great silver necklace I will wear when I figure out where this son of a bitch cat stashed the pretty chain. I got tons of cookies and cakes from Alex's mom, so I didn't have to bake and Laura got me an awesome fruit scented candle and a bag of trail mix. I don't know how she knew I love trail mix, but, I do. Also fruit scented anything. My mom got me a compact of pretty eye shadow, which I can't see to put on. Oh well, it's the best thing she's ever come up with. She's a notorious bad gifter. I got her a Ginny Vogue doll, 1957, she really loved it. I also got her that Johnny Cash movie, the one with Reese Witherspoon. When I told her she could borrow our laptop anytime to watch it, she was amazed that computers can show movies. When I told her she could full screen it, she flipped out. My friend Glena dropped off hot homemade cinnamon rolls! Oh man, they were delicious. I even bought old Aunt Bitch face a pair of slippers, which made her cry, because she's so damn mean no one else got her anything. Her tears didn't move me and no, you can't hug me. Eww, gross. I got the slippers at Alco's going out of business sale for $3 bucks. Which is two bucks more than I wanted to spend on her. Aint I a bitch? I got my brother a bag full of instant coffee and biscotti. He can't complain about that. He's always calling because he's out of instant coffee. Gross. Anyway, it was a nice quiet Christmas that didn't break the bank and everyone is happy. I got some time to myself, which I really needed. Raising a kid alone gets stressful sometimes. I'm happy to have her home now though. She slept with me last night because she said no one has done spider check in her room. So, that's what I have planned for today, so she will go upstairs and I don't have to listen to her snore. Now that 'Aunt Flow' paid her a visit, she thinks she's an adult. Yeah, an adult who won't sleep in her room because she thought she saw a house spider in the corner. ~Eye roll~

I hope you all had a good one too, I'm glad it's over and we can take that tree down. The cat has fucked it up anyway. It's all good. I have some great kids and awesome grandkids at every age now. I even have great inlaws, on every side. You can't do better than that.


PS..Lissa DID get to see her mom on Christmas morning. But, only for an hour. I just couldn't leave her there any longer in all good conscious. She hadn't heard from her mom in a long time and she was bummed about it. But, she did call on Christmas morning, so at least Lis saw her for a little bit, which is good. When her mom doesn't call or visit for long periods of time, she gets kind of angry at the world. So, she's happier now. She loves her mom so much. I don't know what's going on with that, but, I really hope she starts calling more.

Lissa and her momma, Krystal. Krystal has legitimate reasons for not being around all the time. I promised her I wouldn't tell and I won't. But, I do understand. But, in all honesty, she should call more. Just a phone call makes Alissa feel and act better. She doesn't understand it all. Sometimes I don't either, but, I am over my anger and just trying to understand and keep in touch. I try very hard to keep that bond going. I don't want Lis to lose her mother.

Cute photo Krystal took of Gabe and Lissa. These two are very close. They have a bond most people don't understand, but, Lissa took care of Gabe a lot. She made sure he was fed and dressed and okay when things got bad. Sometimes she doesn't understand that she doesn't have to do that anymore. He's her brother, not her child. We have to remind her sometimes.

Connie and Casey

Connie, thank you so much for that beautiful card and photo of the beautiful girls. I really enjoyed that. They are so pretty and getting prettier every year. Lis has been a real turd at returning mail, so I will get on her about it. She does still have Marina's cat drawing in a prized place and every once in awhile laments her lack of talent. (Why can't I draw like Marina??) Doh, because you are Alissa and you two have different styles. Talented kids, though. Anyway, thanks. I loved it.


Casey, thank you for the presents you dad dropped off here, the handmade ones. I LIKE your cup. It takes years to master ceramics 'specially functional pieces. You should have seen my first cup. It looked like a bulldozer ran over it. Yours has an amazing glaze, plus a straight bottom. I like it. And I LOVE the star tiles and star ornament. Those are cool. Wanna make me enough handmade tiles for a bathroom? LOL, just kidding. Well, unless you really are that crazy about clay work. I doubt that, but, they sure are pretty.

What's for Christmas dinner? And that stupid thing in comments..

I was wondering what you all are having for dinner on your holiday this year. I'll call it Christmas dinner. Solstice dinner sounds weird, even though that's what it is. The reason for the season is a bunch of planetary alignnents, oh fucking well. Like I give a shit.




I asked Alissa what she wanted for Christmas dinner and she said, hamburgers. Seriously? Apparently, I make an edible burger. The kid is picky as hell and addicted to junk food, so what the hell. If she wants burgers, that's what we'll be having. At least I know she'll eat something. I think I'm going to have Oyster soup. I don't know about where you live, but, in the Midwest, Oyster soup is pretty traditional. People usually do a Turkey or ham with all the fixin's too, but, I have no reason to cook a turkey. Lis wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole and I'd eat a tiny bit and then the cats and coons would get another feast. They don't need it. Believe me, they eat well here. So, I'll make my small pan of soup. I really like it and I don't have it often. There are a ton of weird recipes on the net, but, I like the way I make it. I just cook some small bits of chopped onion down in a pan until they're soft (not brown) then I put in my fresh Oysters, not drained. Then I season the hell out of them and let them get nice and hot. Then they get a huge dollop of butter. I put in some cold water to cool it down, so when I add the milk it won't curdle. I just use plain whole milk. Then I just heat the whole mess up nice and slow, get out the crackers...and man, that is some good eatin' if you ask me. I can't eat much of it, but, it's good the next day too.






So, what are you having? Oh, and that stupid thing in comments is not removable. Google has decided we all need our decisions about spam removal taken away from us and they put it on automatically and we can go fuck ourselves if we don't like it. (Their response to my email used other words, but, basically said, fuck you.) But, I've been messing with it and I found out you might avoid it if you don't choose the anon option. I know a lot of you use that and just put your name in the bottom. I've done that too, it seemed easier. But, if you choose the name option, it will start to recognize you as not spam and it eases up. If you use a Google name it won't fuck with you much. I found out that if I just hit the 'recognize' button and then hit 'post' real fast, it skips all the mess they want you to type. That's the best I can tell you about it. But I know I have lost commenters from the frustration that shit brings on and it pisses me off because without you to comment, what the fuck is the point of this blog? I really am starting to despise Google. They make it hard for me to post too, because I refuse to use their recommended browsers. Believe me, I have them all. Every time I switch over to Chrome or one of the others it fucks with my computer. I find them slow and annoying and when I switch back to IE, it changes my tool bar and other things. It's just fucking annoying not to be able to post in IE which I am on now. It won't let me put pics on today. Fucking thing. So, what do you suggest? I could find somewhere else to go and move the blog. Get the hell out of Dodge. If you have any ideas, put them out there.


By the way, I'm getting over the seasonal blues because this is almost the end. I don't know about you, but, my house is a mess. I hate that and it drives me nuts, but this cold keeps hanging on and all I want to do is lay down with the laptop and hot tea or coffee. So, the place is a mess with piles of presents everywhere and wrapping paper and tape and scissors left on the kitchen floor. I have to step over all of it to get anywhere and we aren't done yet. Lis has been doing most of the wrapping and she isn't very neat with it, but, I don't give a shit. Slap a bow on it and call it good. The cat is punching holes in all the presents anyhow. I can't get him to stop fucking with them. I thought maybe I should wrap his present up and let him have at it, but, then I thought it might just make him worse. He truly is the demon cat from hell. But, he's our demon cat. I'm hoping he'll mellow with age. I mean, really, how long can a cat keep acting like he does? I don't know. Can you really train a cat? He's litter box trained, but, if he gets pissed off at you, he WILL shit or piss on your stuff. He's only done it to me once, but, he does it to Alissa about once a week. Last time she ignored him and he took a dump on her coat. She had to wear a sweat shirt jacket while I washed it. He really knows who's stuff is who's. I guess by scent? I could write a whole page about the shit this cat has pulled, but, it would be crazy, like him. He breaks everything, he's into everything, he bites, he steals things constantly and I've had to hide the things I love most. He has pulled nearly every picture off the walls! That's nuts. He takes a running jump and just grabs them until they fall. So far only one of the glass frames has broken and it wasn't precious, but, goddamn, I have some nice art here and he is pissing me off. He pisses me off every day. What do you do about an animal like him?

December depression

The goddamn lights. Sigh. Every year, the same thing. Half the goddamn lights never work and it's always the new strings. This year, I thought, instead of digging through storage hell, I'd just get a couple strings of new ones and call it good. I bought the new mecury ones. Oh, they were gorgeous. They worked for half a day. The motherfucking pieces of shit. So, I went and dug through storage and grabbed two strings of old ones..the ones from the 50's and 60's. Yep. They always work. They sure did too. Then I noticed that old string of stupid yellow rope lights which hasn't worked in years also lit up. At least half of it did. The middle is burnt out. God damn. The only way to get them out of there is to crawl behind a jungle of vines (impossible) and find the plug or cut the god damn trumpet vine to the ground and pull them out. It's always some shit, isn't it? I do like the old string of red berry cluster lights I picked up at a yard sale and strung in the vines. I can see it from my desk. It looks like bright berries on the dormant vine. The rest of it can suck my ass, as can all of December.

I hate December. Oh, and my mother moved Aunt Bitch Face in with her. Oh, yeah, that's right. That old bitch is now living on this property and I have not set foot in my mother's house in weeks. Not with Satan now in residence. And no, I will not haul that old bitch to the store or anywhere else. I can not wait to get the hell out of here.

Today was the school 'holiday' Winter concert and I just got back. I brought Lis and a friend home. I took them out to eat and they were loud and obnoxious, par for the course, but, they were having fun. When we got home, mom called and said, Eric's dad was over there (that fucker has been there all day, blocking the driveway) and wanted Lis to come over. I was out trying to fix the god damn lights when I heard the girls open the door and he asked "So, what do you want for Christmas?" in his smarmy voice. The dumb bastard didn't even realize he wasn't talking to his granddaughter, he was talking to her friend. Yeah. I just shook my head. He probably wouldn't have known his own kid either unless I pasted a label on his shirt. Not that I think he can read. I hollered at the girls and told them they had 10 minutes to get home. Merry fucking Christmas.

I haven't even gotten to see Lila Snow yet, much less hold her because the kid gave me her shitty cold, which she is now over. Lissa thinks I'm being mean and doesn't understand that newborns have no immune system. This is one of those colds where masses of snot make rattle noises in your throat and your lips are chapped clear up to your nostrils. Nice.  I miss Lila and I haven't even met her yet.

So, sorry to be such a downer, but, I hope you'll excuse me until this whole month is OVER. I do hope you guys have a Happy Solstice (which is tomarrow) and a Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate. Maybe I'll be more cheerful when it's finally over. I have to go now, the cat just knocked over the entire Christmas tree. I heard it. It just keeps getting better, doesn't it? Maybe he also took a big dump under it again. That seems to be his version of decorating. Which, when I think about it, is as good as any.

Preeeeeeeeeeee...senting..

Baby, Lila Snow. 7 pounds, 5 ounces and 20 inches long. They went to the city to have her, so I haven't seen her in person yet. I can't wait to meet her. It's been a long wait. Sarah has had induced labor since 2pm Thursday and Miss Lila Snow finally showed at 6 pm today. Isn't she adorable??

This kind of blatent stupidity makes me livid

Evangeline Lilly: "I’m very proud of being a woman, and as a woman, I don’t even like the word feminism because when I hear that word, I associate it with women trying to pretend to be men, and I’m not interested in trying to pretend to be a man. I don’t want to embrace manhood, I want to embrace my womanhood."

Translation: "I a wee-tahd.''

The State's war on sustainable communities and individual rights as well

Earlier this year, Texas state brought several SWAT teams to a sustainable community and threatened to shut it down. Each one of the community members were initially handcuffed at gunpoint. It was called “The Garden of Eden Community,” and was totally self sustainable. No drugs or weapons of any kind were found.

HERE is a video where Quinn Eaker tells us about the mission of the Garden of Eden and how recent pressure from the state has harassed, intimidated, fined, and is threatening the existence of their community. Please watch the vid..and then judge him.

This is not an isolated incident, in Florida, Robin Speronis just had her off grid home declared illegal. Officials cited the International Property Maintenance Code, which mandates that homes be connected to an electricity grid and a running water source.

Robin is not some freak growing skunk weed in her closet and shitting in her yard. This is an intelligent hard working self sufficient woman who has been using solar energy, propane and recycling rain water..to name a few of her resources. In the end, she was found not guilty of not having a proper sewer or electrical system, but was guilty of not being hooked up to an approved water supply. If their water supply is anything like our town's, she'd be better off never hooking up to it.

Here in Iowa, in order to sell your country home now, you must be hooked up to rural water. Rural water is terribly expensive, it's not like a town bill, which is bad enough. No, rural water seems to be made of gold (it's the same water as in town, by the way)...and anhydrous ammonia. Among other disgusting things. Also, putting in the pipe system for the rural water is so high priced it's an outrage. ALL of our water, with a few private well exceptions, is contaminated. Idiots in charge will tell you it's because of meth makers. Which is ridiculous. The anhydrous ammonia is not only used to make meth, it is a chemical fertilizer which farmers and companies have been allowed to dump, in huge amounts, into our soil for decades. It runs right off into all the water supplies. Besides, the meth heads steal the anhydrous from the dang farmers in the first place. So, doh. It was going into our water anyhow. I guess the 'officials' never thought we could reason that one out. And this shit is only one of our farm chemical contaminates. Our water is not safe, it never meets standard testing. We get the shitty letter every year informing us that, hey, they don't think it will kill us, but, they wouldn't give it to babies. Thanks, town. So, YOU figure out why in hell someone who has a perfectly safe well is required, by law, to hook up to the skanky water, pay a fortune for it and like it or lump it or they can never sell their house.

Officials here will tell you that ALL Iowa wells are contaminated. I've even found that 'fact' on the net, on Iowa sites. That is not true. When I lived in my farmhouse, I had my well tested twice. It was pure, safe and clean. It had been a dairy farm, they never grew crops. They protected their animals and the well was worth much more than the house and land. Yet, if I had stayed there, they would have forced me to hook up to their shitty contaminated town water or never sell the place. Why?

Who makes the chemicals that are ruining our water? Oh, I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. Who is it that is declaring it not only owns the genetically altered hybrid seeds it produces, but, is also now allowed to own wild seed? Yeah, you heard that right. If they own it, no one can plant it unless they get it from THEM. Even if it grows wild all over hell. In fact, these bitches can now sue you if their seed drifts onto your property and grows. Even if you never wanted their monster food in the first damn place. Anyhow, the wild seed owning thing has taken root in Africa as a start, but, will soon be here, if we ignore it. And these crazy plant/seed owning laws they've lobbied for are making it damn near impossible for anyone, anywhere, to save, reuse, share and develop plant varieties without breaking some damn law. This is only the beginning. Soon, it will become almost impossible to grow any of our own food, because of these laws. And that is what is intended.

Now, more and more laws are being made in different states forcing us to hook up to the very utilities this sickening company has ruined. Where does it end? It won't. It will only get worse, until we are all owned by them..the chem company and the utility companies. I haven't been on here this week because I've been sick again. After several doctor visits and this and that, I seem to be on the mend, but, I hope I'm making sense. If I looked hard enough, I know I would find a connection between that damn chem company and the utility owners, besides them owning us, I mean. And greed. Well, no probably not greed. It's all about greed, isn't it? They (the man) are always making decisions for us based on what they tell us is good for us. But, we already know it's not good for us. Don't we? 

You might think because you don't live on a farm, or in the country, or grow your own food, this won't affect you. But, it will. It will. You think the big guys won't pick on someone as small as you or me, who just grow some of our own food? Yes. They will. We are already being lumped into groups, like that lady in Florida was or the people of the Garden Of Eden were. Like the survivalists are. Like anyone who doesn't get in line and do exactly what 'they' say. They are taking away rights every day. They will continue to chip away at our freedoms one stupid law at a time and one single independent individual at a time, until we are all prisoners. The war on the home gardener started a long time ago. Our government calls us 'agri-terrorists'. Not to our faces, of course. That would be rude, wouldn't it? You don't want to be outwardly rude to your slaves, that never works out well. The trick seems to be to make the silly slaves think you care about them and that they have a voice. Oh, yeah, it cracks me up too.

I used to be self sustaining. I can not do that anymore. I am not physically able. But, the thought that my grandchildren may never know that freedom makes me so sick and so sad I can hardly handle it. This shit is so damn depressing. I am starting to understand the so called loons who move to the mountains, live in caves and eat bark. Pass the fucking pinecones.

All I have to say about the fueding 'lifestyle' divas...

The Goop, pop-up store in Dallas...

Martha Stewart Inc. headquarters. Yeah.

New Casey Anthony news/gossip leaked

Someone has leaked some entertaining and horrifying gossip about Casey Anthony. They say she wants another baby and has made up her mind about it. So, she's going to have one. She is choosing the father from among the men who wrote to her while she was incarcerated. THAT totally sounds believable to me, because you know that's what she has to be living on now. Money those boobs who are crazy about her are sending. Her lawyer, who leaks info about her now and then, says she can't go out of the house anymore because she's afraid of all the death threats she gets. Boo hoo. Well, then she can't work, can she? At least, last I heard, you can't wait cocktails if you can't leave your house. Her lawyer (geez, that guy) says she's a housekeeper now. Really? You don't say? The thought of her standing at my sink with a pair of rubber gloves on chills me to the bone. And I call bullshit on that employment story.

However, the part about her planning to have another baby, well, the only thing I find unbelievable there is....nothing. I think it's probably true. She can't go clubbing, she's probably bored and what would generate more hate or publicity (money) than HER giving birth again? There is not one damn thing stopping her. Not one little tiny thing...with heart shaped stickers on the duct tape over it's tiny mouth.

Was Shia Labeouf raped?

Do you believe Shia Lebeouf's claim that he was raped by an unknown woman during his performance art piece, called 'I Am Sorry'? I have thought about this a lot. First, I thought, doh, men can over power most women in a heart beat and to be raped, doesn't he have to umm, you know, get hard? And wouldn't an erection mean that he enjoyed it?

Then I realized that this dude's head is not in a good place, in many ways he seems lost and fragile to me. He told people in this performance, they could come in and do anything to him and he was not allowing himself to say one word. She whipped him and assaulted him in some sexual way. I do believe that. Women are, on some occasion, as perverse as male perverts, though we all know, male perverts dominate the market. Anyhow, this fucked in the head dude, who has been exposed all over the net as a plagiariser (how humiliating) and who has some personal problems anyhow, is sitting in this crazy scene, and yeah, I see a whip there, and this female nut-ball comes in and starts doing her thing..and then, unzips him and pow. I've decided he didn't have to be hard to be raped. Maybe she had a 'hot dog down the hallway' problem and just, you know, snuck it in. Hard, soft, it doesn't matter really. Maybe this, maybe that. It was assault. This dude should have screamed and fought when she unzipped him, but, maybe he honestly didn't see it coming. Maybe those girls Cosby assaulted should have screamed and fought. Some did, but, is it fair to say they didn't fight hard enough? Or they shouldn't have drank those doped drinks he gave them? Woulda, shoulda, coulda. None of it matters, only that we support victims of sexual assault and realize they don't owe us explanations or details. They owe that to the court system, if the predator is caught. But, not to us. No is no and no one has the right to take what they want from another person. Sometimes, being speechless can be understood to mean no. No. Such a simple word. Or look. Or movement. Let's throw it all out. He didn't tell her she could do those things and she knew that wasn't the deal.

So, I am coming out as a supporter of Shia Lebeouf and saying, straight out, yes, I believe he was raped. I believe it should have been reported sooner or they (his management) should have had a camera on him for safety and evidence. He should have had better security. What the hell were they thinking? BUT, I highly disagree that this 'I Am Sorry' stunt was performance 'art'. It was stupid and has been done many times before by many and has resulted in other assaults. If you remember, Yoko Ono did this same sort of performance art many, many years ago, when she let members of the audience come up with sharp scissors and cut her dress off while she sat morosely. It was chilling. Look it up. So, in my eyes, Shia's performance is more plagiarism and just another absurd antic of his, like the paper bag over the head on the red carpet. It is not 'art'. You can't copy the Mona Lisa over again and call it art. I am tired of people calling everything 'art' anyway, but, a blatant copy can not be and will never be 'art'. So, he should not have been there in the first place. BUT, that doesn't matter does it? We would never say that to a woman who was raped. And I won't blame him for his own sexual assault. It wasn't art, but, it WAS rape. You don't have to agree with me, believe me, I had to think on it awhile, but, anyway, this is just my opinion.


I really hope he gets the help he needs to get his head straight after this. Rape, in any form, is gross, humiliating, scary and it fucks with your head for years..or forever. No one deserves that and no one should go unpunished for it.

Post with no pic..the Cosby thing.

So many women have come out in support of the accusers with their own rape stories about Cosby. Now a woman claims he doped her and fooled around with her when she was only 16. HERE. Does anybody, anywhere think this man is still innocent?? His onstage Spanish Fly jokes aren't so funny now, are they? I have only one question. When is that fucker going to jail?

Griveing mother asks strangers to scatter CJ

THIS is one of the most moving articles I've seen lately. A mother, who lost her 20 year old son, CJ, to suicide, is asking strangers to scatter his ashes around the globe. CJ wanted to go places, see things, he never got to do that. So, his mom is doing the best she can to see that it happens and so far, 10, 000 strangers have helped out. They get a pic of CJ and a tiny bag of ashes and they take of picture of the place they have helped to put him and send it back to his mother. In that photo, his remains are being scattered in The Sierra Fria Mountains on Day Of The Dead. His mom has a FaceBook page, just for this project, it's called 'Scattering CJ' and it's HERE for those of you who use FB. I only read a few of the responses and I saw some awesome ones and one disappointing one that told her to give it up and lay him to rest already, basically. I don't think she should give up until all the ashes are gone. Let her grieve and heal the way SHE needs to, not the way YOU would. Besides, not many of them have walked in her shoes.

I have walked close to her shoes, it makes no difference how you lose them, really. I used to think it did, but, they're still gone and you're left here going WTF? I'll leave her a message later, after I've thought on it awhile. Only time makes it better, as a few of you parents on here know. And there are a LOT of ashes in those cold, lonely urns. I didn't know that either, but, I do now. Looking at that urn everyday, well, it may be a comfort to some, but, it pissed me off and made me sad all the time until it went where it was supposed to, which took a long damn time. So, I get this mom and what she's doing. Do you live somewhere cool and want to help her?

Guntown today, part 2

And there's where the shower will go, right in the middle of the room. He looked at me and said, you sure? I said, yep. So, he re-routed all the plumbing including the sewer line, just like I wanted. I know it's weird, but, I have a plan. Anyway, he did a bang up job, I crawled under there and looked it all over. I was impressed.

All of the weird holes in the walls of the other rooms have been patched. I wanted to save the walls. I know that's odd, but, who has plaster, lath and horsehair wall board? It's just cool old shit and sturdy as hell, so why not? Less drywall to buy too. So, it's going...I stopped for December, not only is it cold as hell, but, the season of debt is coming soon. Oh, and I had a break in. I put a new good lock on the sturdy front door, but, the back door hasn't been changed yet. And it just had a bolt lock. They went thru the crack with a hacksaw and sawed the bolt in half. Instead of stealing anything, they drank beer in there and left the bottles in my sink. They just let me know they can get in if they want and I can go fuck off. They got a foolin' comin, I don't take Guntown shit, I was raised here.

In other news, here is a really stupid thing I did. Lissa was whining about the pain of her gun ear piercing again, she had it done in July. I made sure she kept it clean and there was never an infection, she is just such a drama queen sometimes. I was tired of hearing it, so I took a cubic zirconia stud of hers, dipped it in peroxide and jammed through my ear. I put the back on (I forgot to clean it) and said, "There, that's how ya do it, now shut up about it." It hurt a little but, I wouldn't let her see it. She was bug eyed and appalled. I went to jam the other stud in and dropped it, the damn cat grabbed it ran. He dropped it down the sink on purpose because he's an asshole. So, I said, oh, well, I'll do the next one when this one heals. So, I can use the same stud. I wanted them to be the same size.

I have four piercings, I have NEVER had an infection, I anticipated no problem, but, apparently jamming a stud through the thick part of your ear is not really a good idea. Who knew? It got so infected it was ridic. See that white circle? That is not an earring. That is infection, as is the redness. I took that damn stud out after two days, but, being a 'saver' I just couldn't let the hole go. So, I worked a wire in there. It hurt like a motherfucker and Lissa was laughing her ass off. "Smart move, Grandma, got any more beauty tips?" Shit like that, she's such a pip. Anyhow the infection moved down into my neck and I got lumps in my neck. It was really bad. They went away when I took out that damn stud and put the wire in. I also soak it in straight alcohol every day. Lis said, "Doesn't that hurt??" I said, not much, it feels like when they put an IV in your arm. She screamed, she knows what that's like. I just laughed at her.

So, there it is now, all scabbed over, it no longer hurts and I can move the wire freely. No more lumps in my neck or pain there. Crazy shit, huu? I had no idea a piercing infection could be that bad. Ehh, I'll do the other ear with a needle like I did my first ones. Go ahead, call me a dumbass. I've heard it a lot this week.

In Guntown today...

 

 

 

 

I know this doesn't look like much to you, but, to me it's a beautiful thing. New drywall in the bathroom. He (my new builder guy) thought we should put in a new window, but, I am so set on saving THAT old window, I have no idea why. But, he agreed to add some wood reinforcement on the sides and stuff some insulation in there so it won't leak air in the Winter. When this and the window are mudded and sanded, it will be painting time. This room looked like a scary hell before, if you remember and it got worse. He had to tear out the entire floor, which was over the deep part of the basement, and holy shit, it looked like something from a horror movie. Now, I have a nice new sub-floor and I need to choose flooring, but, I want to see if we can save the old kitchen floor first. I like it, it's very 50's. Oh, I also have a new ceiling in here and in my bedroom. Cool.

This shitty blog won't let me add any more pics, so I'm starting a new post.

Peaches Geldof's abandoned home

The Daily Mail has this stupid title about Peaches Geldof's abandoned home with toys and prams laying about. It sounded a mess, but, there's only one stroller with some pink thing in it. Pics are HERE. I didn't think seeing this house would affect me in any way. Personally, I never followed Peaches, though I did enjoy the pics of her after she became a mother. But, this dark, sad house sort of hurts my soul. Abandoned and unloved, it now looks like an old haunted house. Makes me wonder if it is.

Britney has a new man

His name is Charlie and I'm wondering if Daddy Spear's bought him, like he did the last two. Seriously, he paid those men to entertain her ass. I hope to cripes she picked this one herself, though he looks more like Daddy's type than Britneys. Daddy made him sign a nondisclosure contract on the first date. Daddy controls her completely from when she can drive to her phone calls and we all know it. But, this paying men for her, it's insulting. I hope this one is different. Good luck, Britney. She just can't live without a man very long, can she?

Grandpa of Madonna's adopted daughter says she betrayed them

I had some sympathy for this man, at first, when he was talking about how him and his ex wife would love to see their granddaughter, Mercy, and how Madonna promised to keep her close to her roots when they signed the adoption papers. You can read it all HERE.

But, then down farther in the article the old goat talks about Malawi family obligation and tradition and how white foreigners steal their children and forget these important obligations. His words, 'A child like my granddaughter Mercy, if she succeeds in her career, she is expected to share that success with all of us. That is how our extended family system works.'
Yeah, Gramps, I guess little Mercy's career is pretty hot right now since her mom is one of the biggest pop stars in the world. This man lives in total poverty, I get it. But, the shit he says about Madonna, well, if I was her, I wouldn't throw him a dime or a goat either. If either Grandparent had really wanted that kid, they wouldn't have signed the papers and she wouldn't have been in an orphanage in the first place. She could have helped him sell pots by the road and grown up like most children there, with her family. My opinion of him hasn't changed, he just wants money.

Mercy is Madonna's well dressed, well fed, well educated and well loved daughter now. She does not belong to these Malawi people anymore. Madonna raised her, they didn't want to.

Gross pig kicked off plane

A woman was allowed to board a US Airways flight with a fucking 70 pound hog after she gave them some bullshit about it being an 'emotional support' animal. It promptly shit on the plane, and if you have never smelled pig shit, then you have never smelled the bowels of hell. Pig shit is..OMFG, it's just unearthly. We cover our faces with whatever we can find when we pass a pig farm here. Anyway, it also scared the crap out of the poor guy sitting next to it. This is not some cute mini pig here, (though they're still a damn pig), this was a 70 pound hog. The airline people are idiots and this woman is just goofy. You can read the whole thing HERE.

PS, pigs bite too. They bite hard, they have sharp big teeth. They also growl at you and it sounds like Cujo. If you want a pet pig, move to the damn country and don't try and put it on airplanes.

Two NY boys, buried in snow, rescued alive!

source
Two little boys, who were building a snow fort, got buried in heavy wet snow when a snow plow operator came by, failed to spot the kids, and buried them. The two cousins, 11-year-old Elijah Martinez and 9-year-old Jason Rivera were buried in the heavy snow for seven hours! Seven freeking hours! Rescuers and parents were calling their names and the boys could hear them, but, the snow muffled their cries back. They lost some of their outter gear in the 'avalanch', so they were missing gloves, hats, etc. They were stuck in a small air pocket, by some miracle, and they shared a face mask to keep their hands and faces from freezing. The later it got, the colder it got. It's heartwarming to hear how many neighbors came out of their warm homes, with shovels, and joined the search.

At first, I thought, wtf with that snow plow idiot. Can't you tell a kid's fort when you see it?? But, there's the pile. Even after they dug, I really don't see a real, like, snow fort. You know, with packed snow blocks, where it's obvious. The kids must have been just kind of digging a cave in already piled snow. I can't tell you how many times I did that as a kid and with my own kids. But, I always warned them about caving snow and how heavy it is. As a kid, I had little forts fall in on me and had a hell of a time getting out. But, this was in the city, in a parking lot, too close to the road. And that is a large pile and it's wet, which means it weighs tons, literally. If the kids were hunkered down behind the pile, well, who would suspect they could be there. It clearly was just an unfortunate accident. But, I am just amazed they lived...for seven freeking hours in that hell. They were finally found at 2 am. Gowd, it must have been freezing by then. Can you imagine how happy those parents were when they realized they were alive! My goodness, I can't even imagine.

It's a warning, isn't it? For any of us who live in heavy snow country. Tell your kids how dangerous piled snow and snow forts can be. The rule is, never play in them alone. There always has to be a look out, hopefully a parent. But, another kid will do. You can build a packed block igloo that's sturdy as hell, until the sun comes out. Then you really have to be careful. Parents should go out and check and if it's melty..take your shovel and knock it down. The kids will scream and cry, but, too bad. Better a hissy fit than a dead kid. Oh, I have to tell you, I used to build life size snow Elephants all the kids in the neighborhood could sit on and they loved it. I have some newspaper articles on it somewhere, with photos. But, when it warmed up, I got them all to help me 'kill' it. Because they were huge and you could get underneath their legs, which they did. If it had toppled on a kid..well, it weighed tons, it was heavy. Just think about that. And the stupid things kids do.

Have a happy turkey day and wtf is that thing in my comments?

That's what mine's gonna look like, yep. My mother is panicked about it. I am laughing at her. She so cray cray. She wants me to take her to the store AGAIN today, probably to buy a turkey. That's how she is. I am cooking taters and green bean casserole and other sides today. Lis is getting out of school in a minute, so I have to be quick here. I'm picking her up because it's snowing and sleeting. Why did they even bother to have school if they let them out before lunch?? Stupid. Anyhow, you guys have a great thanksgiving and we'll trade horror stories after. If I see anything worth posting, I'll be on. If not, I'm just taking a break. I love you all and wish you best blessings! Three by three, so mote it be!

PS..I have no clue why that stupid thing is in comments, where you have to type some scrambled word to post. Please don't let it put you off. I'm sure it will disappear soon. Blogger has a hic up now and then.

Miss Peggy...

Peg, doesn't this remind you of Baby?? Why didn't you take a pic of me like that with Baby? I mean, geez, you are a professional photographer! Anyway, it reminded me of dear, sweet Baby who liked to bump her head against my knee. Hard. It freaked me out at first, then I understood what she was up to. What a sweet interesting animal Baby was. And still is, I'm sure.

Stupid things kids eat

The story. The other day, I made a roast chicken with stuffing and potatoes and carrots. Seaonings, herbs, the whole bit. It came out so beautiful and brown. Everything was perfect. I added a small salad and dinner rolls and called Lis in for dinner. She took one look at it, said, "yuk, I am NOT eating that crap". She made herself some microwave chicken nuggets instead. She did eat one dinner roll. I said...nothing.

The next day, I took the hardly touched chicken and I cooked it down into soup. I added more herbs and spices and home made noodles. This is my first attempt at noodles and yes, I had You Tube and Gordon Ramsay's help. My noodles were perfect. The soup was so good I ate an entire bowl. I wanted more, but, as you know, I am still just getting used to real food, so I couldn't do it. But, let me tell you, it was fucking good. Lis looked at it and said, 'Yuk, I am NOT eating that'. I said, but, you love chicken noodle soup! She said, "Yeah, the real kind, THIS kind." She was holding up a can of Campbells. She insisted on making it. So, there it is, right by my home made soup. Nice, huu?

Kids eat crap. If kids grow up half the time eating crap, that's all they want. She's too big and I'm too old and tired to fight over it. Eat the crap. Who cares. The Possums and Racoons loved my leftovers. At least someone appreciates my efforts.

And yeah, my stove got dirty. I missed the spoon rest somehow. Deal with it. If you can handle it, come on over. I'm cooking a turkey on Thursday. It's thawing now. I'm cooking the whole dinner for the family. My mother is half pissed, half relieved. She always thinks she has to do it because I don't cook. I can cook a damn turkey and I don't need You Tube for it. I won the turkey in a drawing. Pretty cool, huu? So, she has to let ME cook it this year. I still hate this holiday. But, I like turkey.

Oh, Lemon Balm..what did you do to me?

Lemon Balm. A simple and beautiful Herb to grow. It will grow in partial shade, but, if you put it in the full Sun, it turns into a soft big green shrub that gives off the pretty smell of Lemon when you walk by. It's a joy in the garden, because though it doesn't really flower, it looks beautiful among the flowers. Giving your eyes a break from the intense color of the mess of odd flowers I plant. It's a pretty green too. It also sends off shoots that can be replanted or given away to friends. I already have some started from the original plant at the new house.

Anyhow, I asked you guys how to use it and got good answers from tea to soups, etc. And it's great. But, the other day I was looking at it, my dried supply, and I thought, I wonder if you can smoke it? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time I've experimented with smoking Herbs for different reasons. You can look up Herb combinations and you'd be surprised. Anyway, most of the herb smokers on the net agree that Lemon Balm is a calmer. It's used to relieve stress and supposedly good for people who have Thyroid problems too. I don't know about that, but, stress relief? I need that sometimes. Bad.

So, I got my ciggie roller machine out and I rolled a Lemon Balm smoke up. I smelled it. Lemony, harmless smelling. I smoked it. It was slightly, very slightly Lemon tasting and surprisingly a good mellow smoke. Not harsh at all. Much like those flavored cigs you can buy at smoke shops. (I treat myself to vanilla sometimes.) I felt calm in about a minute. This is great, I thought. Amazing.

Then my brain went straight to hell. I got higher than a damn kite. Higher than Cheech and Chong in the 70's. Holy shit. Lissa was staying all night with a relative so I was alone, thank goodness. I didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground. I got the munchies, the whole bit. Those goddamn Herbal advice sites should say, do not smoke Lemon Balm alone. Mix it with tobacco or something else harmless. I HATE being high. I am the biggest proponent of making Marijuana legal, but, me, myself, I HATE a pot high. Lemon Balm, for me, is the same damn thing. OMG.

From now on, I will take a tiny, tiny, amount of the Lemon and mix it with good old home grown Kentucky Burl and smoke one at bed time. Now, that will be a nice calming effect for sleep deprivation. Which you all know I suffer badly from at times. Anyhow, I am just telling anyone who wants a legal high. Smoke Lemon Balm. You'll love it. Me? Fuck that. But, it's legal. I have a ton of it and starts next Spring if anyone wants any. Come on Feds, bust me for fucking Lemon Balm I bought at Wal-Mart. LOL.