Cock-a-doodle-do

Land of the free sign on the open chicken coop. Har de har. I threw that thing away and it ended up there. Someone thinks they're funny. I left it. It is sort of funny.

            The whole set up is funny. I'm going for the total white trash look. I think I nailed it.

There's my big girl. She's been re-named Mama, Mama Cass and Cass Elliot. No shame, I was a fan. This poor chicken is so big she's handicapped. Never get a meat chicken for a pet. They are so fucked up from mass inbreeding, it's a heartbreak. She was supposed to get big and be dead at 6 weeks. Meat is produced fast. But, she caught a break. All she does is lay in the cool shade and eat. She waddles and has trouble walking. Sometimes I have to pick her up and put her back in because she just can't walk it. She can't fly like the others and has trouble with even a chicken ladder, so I put a big kennel on the ground for her. My mother says I should have her put to sleep (is that even a thing?), but, I say, she's happy. She's a very sweet girl who still likes to cuddle. I'm going to leave her alone and see what happens. As long as she's not in pain, she's cool. She's content in her fat clucky chicken way.

Poor Cass Elliot. She's always dirty, she can't clean herself like the others. I help her most days. Oh, and see that mess on that board? You should know, if you ever get chickens, they make messes. Not all the time, but, once or twice a day they poop like that and it is GROSS. It stinks too. I let it dry and use an old paint scraper, but, it's nasty. I found out why. They have two stomachs. The food goes in their craw (sp?) first. There it gets ground up by the gravel you feed them. Then most of it quickly passes to the first tummy which spits it out right away. That constant poop is dry and odorless, you can pick it up like nothing. But, some of it goes to the other tummy sack thing and sits and ferments. Yeah, ferments. That's where they get most of their real nutrients. Once or twice a day they have to empty this sack. It is a fucking trip. You don't want to be behind them when they do it. 'Specially one the size of this girl. OMG. It's great for the gardens though. That yellow thing hanging down is an actual chicken toy. The only commercial one I've ever found. You put seed in it and they peck it. They like it. I make them other toys though. They get bored easily, just like a puppy or kitten.

Cher, Cherrie, Sherry, has turned into a really pretty Rooster and yesterday he crowed for the first time. It was glorious. He did it again this morning. He does it about 3 or 4 times as the sun comes up and then he stops. I like Sherrie a lot, but, he's not the best Rooster. He's just bossy. Once in awhile he warns for predators, but, mostly he's just an asshole to the girls. He's young though, maybe he'll learn. Anyone have Rooster experience?

There's some regular chickens for comparison. Nice chickens. The one in back is Janet, she's real friendly and likes to be petted. They broke my Ike and Mamie plate there that I found on trash day. Split them right up. I had Jesus nailed up there too, but, they destroyed him. They must be Atheist chickens.

Baby Coon wants the camera. Baby Coon wants everything. He's becoming a real Raccoon, but, he still drinks from a ba ba. Little shit.

Oh, I forgot to show you that bird bath. See? It's a cherub fucking a fish. I think it's hilarious next to the white trash chicken pen. I have a good time out there. I laugh when people drive by and do a double take. Who gives a fuck? To top it off, I lost one of my front teeth today. I took a pic but, it's too embarrassing. Dential appointment Monday. I don't think they believed me. I have to be careful how I smile now, I look like a fucking hillbilly...or a Palin.