The Goddess Bunny

The Goddess Bunny has becom an icon in the underground transvestite scene. Now I know why it's underground. I'm scared.

Oh, this is rich

Despite the much ballyhoo'd opening of her own restaurant last night...LongWhoria did not eat there. Eva and VB were caught eating their dinner at STK . They were both rather pissed at being caught. That's hilarious. Phoney Eva!

Heidi Klum's daughter Leni hits the bottle

Made me laugh..cute little diva.

WTF?

Speaking of LongWhoria..who the Sam Hell is THAT supposed to be? I think they switched her for Sandra Bullock and 10 pounds of spackle..and shot it through a silk screen. Fucking nerds.

Eva opens Beso

Eva LongWhoria opened her restaurant, Beso last night and had a huge list of nobodies show up to cheer on her latest effort to ensure employment after they finally cancel Desperate Housefucks.

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Kim Kardashian, Felicity Huffman, Brittny Gastineau, Nicollette Sheridan, Dana Delaney, Shawn Prfrom, Lake Bell, Sheryl Crow, Roselyn Sanchez, Eric Winter, Constance Marie, George Lopez, Sarah Lancaster, Julie Benz, Jermaine Jackson and James Denton all showed up. Boy, there's some A list.

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Longwhoria claims she's world famous for her tortilla soup. I've had tortilla soup and I'd rather eat soap. Besides, I've seen Eva shopping, so I'm pretty sure her "world famous" soup consists canned beans poured over Frito's with some hair spray as a binder. I think this Todd English is actually doing the cooking, which is good, I guess. I hope it's not all Mexican food. Mexican food sucks like a hairless dog. I'll bet Kardashian stole all the center pieces and smuggled them out in her butt. And Teri Snatcher couldn't come because she was busy masturbating to a poster of Ryan Gaycrest.

Confused ParAss

They are your tiny breasts pushed up with a magic strapless wonder bra, a warehouse of duct tape, two fat chicken cutlets and a roll of 100 dollar bills under each one. Brain cells not included.

Sofia Vassilieva bald

Ohhhh, Sophia, did you really cut off all your hair for My Sister’s Keeper?? Either way, Dakota Fanning took a hike. I can live with that.

Lisa Marie confirms what I done told ya

Lisa Marie Presley is not only knocked up, she's pissed..

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Under the subject, “Confirmation Under the Gun,” Lisa Marie writes on her Myspace:
“After being the target all week of slanderous and degrading stories, horribly manipulated pictures and articles in the media, I have had to show my cards and announce under the gun and under vicious personal attack that I am in fact pregnant.
Once they got a glimpse of my expanding physique a few days ago, they have been like a pack of coyotes circling their prey whilst eerily howling with delight. Starting with a London publication and then New York and Chicago all writing false defamatory degrading stories about all of the dark possible reasons I could be putting on weight. The US tabloids have been calling all day wanting confirmation on all kinds of insane theories.
They couldn’t wait to find out if my weight gain was because I was just overeating, in which case It would be open season and they can do the old following in her fathers sad and unfortunate demise story again or less interesting for them and probably much to their dismay, I could just be pregnant and therefore have a legitimate reason for weight gain at which point they should probably wipe the saliva off of their fangs and put them back in their mouths or they may expose the black little souls that they are.
Now that things are confirmed, hopefully they can stop all of the harassment and I can stop dodging the continuous bullets.
It is unfortunate that I couldn’t have announced something that is this much of a blessing and that has made us so incredibly happy under better circumstances.How they have handled themselves with this has been nothing short of irresponsible and disgusting.
Pardon my seething contemptuous tone but ladies, You KNOW if you were pregnant and you felt you were expanding uncontrollably by the moment as a result and the worldwide media started badgering and harassing you for it, plastering you everywhere in an unflattering light, you would be mortified as well.
Sincerely,~LMP”

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Oh, stuff it and go write a novel.

Hey Lil Bud, come to Poppa

A source close to Matthew McConaughey said: “Matthew’s older brother Michael named his second son Miller Lyte because he loved the beer so much. And Matthew loved the name so much he really wants to name his son after his favorite beer. He is thinking of going for Bud after Budweiser beer.”

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Sure it's after beer, we gotcha, Matt. I guess the names SackOweed, DimeBag, BigBlunt, Score, Bong and HempDaddy are too common. Lucky for the kid, Camile says...no.

The Girls Next Door

Okay, since I have free cable I've caught up with Girls Next Door and I now know them apart. You guys were right...Holly is a nice girl. A bit self obsessed, but, not evil and it's clear to me she loves that old man for more than his money. Bridget is tolerable..no genius, but, likable.

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Now we get to Kendra. That horse faced slag is so intolerable I could puke looking at her. She is butt fuck ugly and no amount of makeup piled on her zits will change that. Only massive photo shop saves her. She hates Hef and almost vomits when he kisses her. I think that's called occupational hazard for whores. And on top of all that, she's dumb as dirt. I have never seen anyone so brain dead. Last night she was flashing people on a train and said "I made their..lives." Yeah, because no one dumb enough to work construction has ever seen an inflated tit until you came along. Stupid bitch. Hef needs to send her back to whatever gawdamn backwoods cousin marryin' trailer park she came from with a roller skate up her moronic ass. She makes me want to kick my TV in and move to Guam.

Rumor, Scout, Tallulah Belle and Demi

Demi looks gorgeous, I don't know who's who on the younger girls, but, that one standing is very pretty. The little one looks awkward and Rumor looks like a potato stuffed in a flesh colored sock. Ya can't win 'em all Bruce, even with star genetics.

I just liked the pictures of Drew Barrymore

Cute. You can get big wallpaper size here, here and here.

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Note: Ha, that second one is so cute as my wallpaper, but, it was huge. I reduced it by 70% and I'll add a border later to make it fit. By the way, if any of you don't know how to do this and you have your heart set on a certain pic..just send it to me with the dimensions you'd like and I'll be glad to help. Wallpaper is important to me, it can set your mood for the day.

Have you seen this ad???

"Madox Jolie says Suri Cruise is a firecrotch." There are photos of the kids with crap drawn on thier faces. It's from FriendsSpaceBook. Sorry, I couldn't click it, it's a flash. How can they do that? They should be seriously sued. Someone call Tommy Girl and Bradgelina. BWE has it (I'm such a narc)..click and scroll down..it's on the right.

Cry for Poshie

VB discusses her pain at the damage her children did to “a lilac crocodile Hermes handbag” her husband bought her for Christmas.
“I put the bag on the table - he got it specially made - and one of the kids knocked a candle and the wax went sploosh, all over it,” the Press Association reported.
“And honestly, I nearly cried.”

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Besides the obvious..I'm surprised she admitted to having a lit candle around her little boys. That's just plain stupid.

Awwwwwwwwww!

"I was watching her in her crib," says Richie. "And she happened to wake up and I was like, 'Good morning!'' And she smiled and it was the cutest thing ever."

Mayers mixed message

Johns blog is back up. I think this message is a little odd though..

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Dear Ex Lover, Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don't know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I'm done trying. I hope this is enough closure for you. Goodbye.
P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.

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If you want her to stop bothering you why would you remind her of how to find you? He says it's lyrics. Lyrics to what? A song about a dumb Texas blonde? I thought she was humping Tony Baloney, the football hero. I can write a better song than that..

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Jessica likes the foo-ball games,

she burning when she pee..

Jessica got funky smell,

it's Chicken Of The Sea!

You have GOT to be kidding me

I woke up to this. Again. It's still coming down hard. Banksy's never coming here. He'd freeze his nuts off.

Sneaky Banksy does it again

Crazy wonderful Banksy snuck up to a Tesco, in London, in the dark of the night and left this. Holy Moly! The owner is now rich. If.. he sells it, and he says he's willing. I would be so torn. You could buy a new house for that, or keep it. I want a house..but, I want a Banksy. I really need a house, but, it's a Banksy! Oh, the turmoil the art terrorist could cause me. I'll tell you one thing, if Banksy ever strikes here, you will see a big hole in the siding where I took a chainsaw to it before The Grease Brothers could smoke it with their BBQ grill.

Kooky Winehouse

There is no end the the Winerun shenanigans. First I read about how her face got infected. Impetigo found an open sore where Amy had defiantly put out her cig on her own cheek when a waitress told her she couldn't smoke. Now she's been caught snorting vodka at The Bungalow 8. An entire shot of it.

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*The UK's Mirror says..She was allegedly seen inhaling vodka at Bungalow 8 while out partying with Kelly Osbourne, Kimberley Stewart, and Mark Ronson. The group was apparently playing a drinking game called the "Gas Chamber." "Amy was the life and soul - but even we were shocked by this party trick," a source said. "She was sat next to Kelly when she covered one nostril, tilted her head back and sucked the vodka shot down her open nostril through a straw. She threw back her head and reeled in shock and everyone around her looked stunned." *

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Then she did the burning jig and snorted Kim Stewart, Kelly and a Ronson up her honker into rock and roll phlem oblivion. Good, I don't wanna read about them anymore anyhow. I give it up to Winerun..I was a mere amature. I only thought I was once a hard ass party chick. I knew nothing, and I am deeply ashamed at my ineptitude.

Lohan hung out with Ronson last night

Samanth Ronson says she's more than a DJ...she's a musician. I found her. I don't disagree. Click HERE if you want to hear. I never realized she did Built This Way in Mean Girls. Sorry, it wasn't my thing, I'm not 12. I don't think Sam is the worst egg in the Lohan carton, but, I still think someone dropped the carton. She's actually pretty in that vid..who knew?

Move along people, there's nothing to see here

I do not..for the life of me...know why this is news. Cynthia Nixon has made no attempt to cover up her lifestyle. We've known since SATC that she has a partner, Christine Marinoni. This would have been a great story...in 1950! DOH...they are a long lasting couple, managing to stay together, be happy and raise two kids, Samantha, 11, and a son Charles, 5. Now, THAT'S something to brag about. They are lovely and I get a warm feeling looking at them.

How to model shoes by Sarah Jessica Parker

SJP fell on her ass while shooting for Vogue. Vogue never looked so amusing. We still love you SJP. At least she could smile..what else could you do?

THIS is why there should be NO Livng Lohan

I couldn't find a clip of the preview of Living Lohan (the continuing saga of Dina pimping 14 year old Ali)..but, trust me, they are BICTHES. OMG, Ali was yelling at her mother to take her to the phone store, right now, and Dina was on her phone pretending there was someone important on the other end looking like she could eat your head. Man, this show will NOT be good for them if they want people to like them. Here's Ali and her great talent. I dare you not to shake your head and wonder why the Hell your kid doesn't have an album.

Britney has to pay Daddy

The courts have ruled the Jamie Spears is still going to be his daughters conservator and now he has the right to take $2,500 a week from Britney's accounts, along with a leased car. SO? I imagine it's quite a job to watchdog Britney's ass and he deserves every dime. That's what she spends at Starbucks every week, and Jamie's been doing a great job. She's not making an ass of herself every minute since he moved in with her and she's seeing her kids again. You stay right there, Dad, I like you.

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Oh, I see where she gets that spilling on your shirt thing, it's inherited. That's okay. The mansion has a laundry room.

I need coffee

What the Hell is Bigfoot doing on TMZ? Oh, wait, that's Amy Winerun buying a book about herself. I honestly thought it was another Bigfoot sighting. I really need coffee.

James Haven defends his sister

According to James, his sister did not attend the pre Oscar party where Jen Aniston was .. out of.....respect.

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James told Grazia Magazine, "Angie is an incredibly strong but also incredibly sensitive woman, and she would always be careful when another woman's feelings are concerned. She'd go out of her way to make sure there was no situation that would hurt another woman because of her, and I'm talking about a situation like one of Brad's ex partners or his ex-wife."

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I totally believe that. Angie is always respectful of other peoples feelings, like when she went through that phase of making out with her own brother. There are no photos (published) of Jolie gnawing on her brothers knob, out of respect to their parents. Watch and learn, people.

Daddy's Girl

She's pregnant and I don't care who tells me she isn't. You'll all be sorry when she squishes out another lil' jailhouse rocker and in twenty years we have to sit through Blue Hawaii 2.

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And she is too a fame whore. She's rocked herself out as a punker from state fairs to falling on her ass on the Today Show. It's just best forgotten because she sucks at it like an egg sucking hound.

Poor White Oprah..my heart bleeds!

Dina has to whore her children out on reality TV...

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Dina about her new reality show. ..She said they had no choice, because "tabloids and reality shows are not going away. If they know who Ali is as a person, it’s better.”
She went on to say, "We're doing it, because it's not going away. We're going to find a way to navigate through the waters of that, tabloidisim and just try to have a career and be successful. There's no protection like the old days."

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See? She had NO choice, NO choice..OMG..I am heartsick for her. My Gawd, what's the world come to when someone as fine and decent (snort) as Dina Lohan (snort) has to (snort) pimp out the products of her loins to protect them??

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Like my painting? I was feeling Perez's pain today..channeling it. I think I'll go dye my hair purple now and take Polaroids of my own butt hole. And sob for Dina.

The pros and cons of blogging

Blogging...hmm. Where would I be without it? I'd have more time to clean the house, but, no one to read my goofy opinions on everything. No attention..that would suck. The pros are getting fan mail and photos from people and reading comments. Oh, and almost famous people write me sometimes, usually because they're mad. Famous people ignore me..

But their lawyers don't. That's a con. So is chasing down old archived pictures assholes claim belong to them, but, I've seen 'em on a hundred sites. El stinko. So are the constant attempts to whore me out. No, I don't think I want to write for your puke lying publication for ten dollars a post or turn Dirty Disher into a bat boy loving tabloid with your opinions. But, once in a while I get a nice offer. A decent women's magazine just offered to hire me two weeks ago. I won't say the name because they have good lawyers. But, I said no, because they expected me to actually work. I took it as a compliment that they said they like my style (even though it was made clear I'd have to tone down my rants.) I actually said I'd work for them for free if I could do it whenever I wanted and they'd give DD a link with each article I wrote. They didn't write back. Your loss..it's just as well. They probably wouldn't let me say fucktard and cocksucker anyhow.

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I love blogging. Even when blogger is so slow it's like pouring molasses over a brain damaged sloth. I'd miss you guys if I wasn't on here.

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Oh, you'd better check the second page today. I was on a roll.

It's gonna be a Texan

Brad and Angie have decided to skip Africa and Asia and pop out their new rug-rats in Texas. They bought themselves a ranch there and one resident said: "I saw two huge vans, loaded with every toy and child-sized car and truck you could imagine."
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Not that I care, but, it seems an odd choice. I can just picture Jessica Simpson as a midwife in a 10 gallon hat screaming "Go Cowboys!" when Angie's water breaks. I don't know if the Cowboys actually are from Texas, but, Jessica doesn't either, that's my point. Actually, I don't have a point..I just thought it was weird. The new babies will talk funny, but, cook up good BBQ.

TAPS..a good old one

The season premier of Ghost Hunters (TAPS) was on last night and I wish I could post it for you, it was so good, but, no one's posted it yet and I was too dumb to record it myself. So until it gets to You Tube, here's a really good old one. Jason and Grant (and their team) are so cool and believable..they are not people who go in an try to prove to everyone that ghosts exist. Just the opposite..they are plumbers by trade who try to debunk ghost legends and sightings. But, sometimes they can't. My favorite show.

Blow belly

The day after I thought she looked cute in her traffic sign skirt, Lindsay takes off the jacket, stuffs herself into what I can only believe is the cut off leg of her old leggings and sparks pregnancy rumors. I doubt she's knocked up, this is what happens when you cut down your meth intake to only two 8 balls a week.

Lily Allen is being treated for depression

Here's some advice..stop wearing my 80 year old aunts wallpaper border and maybe you'll cheer up. People wonder why I even bother with her whiny ass. Here's why.

Sheryl Crow knows everything

Sheryl Crone says Jen Aniston wasn't dumped by Brad Pitt, she says Aniston dumped Pitt.

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She said: “For both of us, the perceived idea is that, in our big relationships, we both got dumped. Believe me, this is not true. Neither one of us has ever gotten dumped. No one ever knows what goes on in relationships.
“Unfortunately, for some people like Jennifer and me, so much is written about things that you don’t say, and so many emotions are attributed to you that you haven’t had.”
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Skank Crone also once said "Used to be I could drive up to Barstow for the night, find some crossroad trucker to demonstrate his might"..but, she probably stole that, except for the part where she was a truckers whore. Bitch would steal your hubcaps if they banged out a tune. Lance Armstrong is gay as a fruit basket in a homo bordello and he got tired of her stinky dick cheese. Jen Aniston hangs out with this puke? I doubt it. Jen owns toilet paper.

The path of the enlightened douchebag

Turns out ParAss Hiltons shaman was a joke thought up by Ashton Kutcher for Pop Fiction. Har dee har. Well, guess what? No one paid any attention to it anyhow and bloggers busted him as an actor the next day. Only TMZ bothered with a serioes of photos of the nonsense. So, who's the joke on now, Kutcher? Punk. ParAss: "Bless my sagging vagina, for it has seen the world." And the world has seen it.

Famous dudes kid

While I think of her dad as nothing more than that dude who once turned my kid into a teenage walking ad for his stupid T-shirts, his daughter is now showing her amazing collections of eights. I'll spare you, Ally Hilfiger paint's eights and she wants a lot of money for them. Put 'em on a T-shirt and maybe they'll sell. I get the symbolism..I just don't care.

Gallery of the absurd has it right

But, I think she has three more kids to fuck up, not two.

Ozzy Osbourne does some shopping

Oh, wait, that's Julia Roberts. My bad.

Lindsays not a good roomate

Courtenay Semel had to get Lohan out of her house. Court is considered a good influence on Linds because she's not a party girl, well, not like Lindsay was anyway. But, Courtenay says Lindsay was such a slob it drove her crazy. Big piles of clothes all over her bed and messes all over the floor. Lindsay is used to living in hotels where peple pick up after her, what can you expect? But there was one benefit to living with Lindsay. “She wouldn’t care if people borrowed stuff from her,” says the former roomie. “Lindsay couldn’t keep track of anything, anyway.”
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LOL..that's funny. Personally I never cared what the hell my housemates room looked like. As long as they left mine alone. Ahhh, old house mates. Shirley, who always did everything and put up with me for years..love you and miss you. To Tall Paul who never did a damn thing but party and make me laugh..how's prison treating you? Miss you too.

Katie and Tom love Wolfgang Puck

The Little General leads his stunned looking robot out of Pucks "Cut" again. These two love Wolfgang..and meat, I guess. Aliens eat meat, who knew? Let me tell you something about Wolfgang Puck. He may be a food genius and I heart his cook wear, but, he cooks dirty. Puck, you can write me if you don't like that, but, I see you picking your nose while you cook all the time. You try and fool me by doing the thumb and forefinger move real quick, but, I'm onto you dude. And you do it right over the skillet. You also wipe the plate edge with your nasty old apron. I've yelled at short order cooks in shitty diners I've worked in for that crap. It's nasty. Use a plate towel and when it looks yuk, toss it and get a new one. Often. Tommy Girl might like your boogers and old grease, but, I don't.

Androgeny rocks..I guess

Janet Jackson put on a few clothes for her new vid off the Discipline CD. It's a best seller..so I'm told. I feel sad to live in a world where a monotonous non tune with whispery vocals is a best seller. Bitches who buy this need to have some Greenday blasted into their eardrums for a day. Or, I'd even settle for Patsy Cline. Yeah, I would.

Liar pants Milo whatever his fucking name is

Milo Ventimiglia to Cosmo..

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Cosmo: Do you get nervous on dates? Milo: Yes. I've been single for a year and a half. It's tough being witty for two hours. Cosmo: Have friends tried to set you up? Milo: Yeah, someone thinks you'd look "cute" together, but you share no interests and become combative. You just wish you were home, scrubbing your toilet.

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This bitch is seeing Hayden PantyLiner, the only person on Earth who has a name harder than his to spell, and everyone who's not a moron knows it. So why does he bother to lie and act like a poop head? Hayden needs to stop crying over dolphins long enough to kick this bullshitter to the curb while her teenage boobs are still perky. Never waste perky on an older man who won't even acknowledge you. It's insulting.

Britney's class

To who ever took that photo..you need a new camera more than I do, because they look like children of the corn. But, I get it..it's all good. Keep it up, Brit!

Sad, but, true

Patrick Swayze's reps have issued a statement confirming that the actor does have pancreatic cancer.
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"Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and is currently undergoing treatment. Patrick's physician Dr. George Fisher states, 'Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the time frame of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic.' Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects. The outpouring of support and concern he has already received from the public is deeply appreciated by Patrick and his family."
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Patrick been married to Lisa Niemi since 1975. The couple have been together since Lisa, at 15, began dance lessons with Swayze's mother. His formal dance training was at the Harkness Ballet and Joffrey Ballet Schools in New York City. That's pretty impressive, both the Joffrey and his marriage. I don't know anyone who doesn't love Patrick and I wish him the best.

The new face of LV

64 year old Kieth Richards is the new face of Louis Vuitton. I think it's a good move. Everyone knows LV only looks good if it's aged and beat up. Kieth is an interesting face and much better than some photoshopped twit.

"Anna Nicole" trailer

Willa Ford has the voice dead on, no pun intended. It's going to be bad. It's going to suck. I AM going to see it.

There is nothing wrong with her skirt!

The Blow scores a 10 here, if you ask me. On a young chick, and with that jacket and hair..the skirt is whimsical and perfect. The shoes...oh, dear. Bad. My mom had those in the 60's and they weren't cool then. They make me feel dirty, and not in a good way.

YAY!!!

MSN is now fixed. I got the "spare parts" I needed online. And the best part is..I still have the same addy. flying_buttress@hotmail.com

Chris Crocker.. relationship advice

You know you missed him.

Lindsay Lohan is an artist

Lindsay Lohan will be opening her own art exhibit on Thursday in NYC. The series of photos represent her tattoos. No, they are not photos of her tattoos, they are photos Lindsay didn't take, but, are representative of the deep feelings she had while she was getting her tattoos. She is deep. She is deep like the sea and we should all go and learn from her artist-ness. Andy Warhol wouldn't even buy this.

College Road Trip..a movie

Another movie for slow dumbass pot heads starring mega super stars, Raven Symone and Martin Lawrence. I look foreward to the day when someone finally tells Lawrence he's a washed up unfunny piece of smarmy doody and Raven finds a plastic surgeon or hair stylist who gives her eyeballs so she can see she aint cute anymore. Die F-list slugs.

Living Lohan...a reality

It's true. Living Lohan will be a reality show on E. I'll probably watch it, I'm a TV junkie and I watch everything, but, I'm 99.9% sure Dina can't win me over. She's a washed up fame junkie crack whore and this time she's pimping out Ali. Ali is one of the least talented kids I've ever seen, so good luck with that. Lindsay won't be there unless Dina can prove she has free piles of coke laying all over the house. She might.