Coco got new implants

Childish chuckle, snort. Ice T's getting the checkbook out right now.

Oh Tyra, you so fierce!

This is what happens when bimbos dress themselves. It looks like part of her skank hair fell onto her shoulders. I won't even mention the awkward length of that sad hairy dress and the bag lady booties. Oh, I just did. Hmm. As for the head shot? I saw the strangest thing once. I saw a cow poop on top of a fence post. I really did. It looked just like that.

Daddy visits, mommy talks, the world rolls it's eyes

Micheal Lohan finally got to ask for a blank check, errr, I mean visit his daughter in rehab. Dina acts like it was all her doing and said..

“I’m so glad he’s visiting her, I really wanted her to have closure a really long time ago, so she could come to terms with the abusive behavior that myself and my children endured when they were younger.”

Don't you mean the abuse that you and her dad heaped on them together? Yeah, yeah, poor you, Dina. It's all about you. Then there's this..

"She’s doing well. I’m so proud of her. She’s grown up.” As for Lindsay’s post-rehab plans, Dina main concern is intrusive photographers. “I’m petrified of the paparazzi. I’m afraid it’s going to be a frenzy when she’s out. I pray that it all works out well.”

Petrified of the paparazzi??? Since when, bitch? You're the one who drug camera crews to rehab last time and got paid for it. This crack ho kills me. Meanwhile, daddy Lohan say he's not talking about his visit. Yeah, that was a stipulation Lindsay put on the blank check. Dina continues to blather because 1. she's a crack head, they do that, and 2. she already has access to Lindsays bank accounts.

On rehab in Utah..“It’s gorgeous, it’s tranquil, it’s God’s Country.” Dina also shot down a report out this week that claimed Lindsay is her cashcow: “I don’t live off my daughter,” Dina said, laughing.

Umm, yeah you do and everyone knows it. Man, crack messes you up so bad you believe your own bullshit. And both these lame twat parents throw God references in every sentance, like that makes it all better. Dina thinks God will cut her a giant rail when she gets to Heaven. If there was really a God, he'd make this whore get a job. Got windy on this one, didn't I? Ha, well, Dina does that to me.

Paris sues Hallmark

ParAss Hitlon is hoppin' mad. She's sueing Halllmark for using "That's hot" and her image on their cards. She want's half a million dollars and she'll get it. She DID trademark "That's hot"..it might not be much, but, it's hers. And they DID misappropriated her image, it doesn't take a lawyer to figure out they're screwed. I don't know about her claim of invasion of privacy..the twat never had or wanted any part of privacy, but, the cards are really lame. That's about as funny as anal warts.

Pam Anderson's new beau

Pam's been spending oodles of time with Rick Solomon, in fact he might be living with her. Rick is the dude from that film "One Night In Paris" with ParAss Hilton..uhhh huu, Pammy is having Hilton leftovers. Ewwwwwww.

Angelina and Zahara white bag it

How much do you think Z's matching mommy bag cost? Is this cute or not?

The wonderful world of Disney

Vanessa Hudgens: "Booo hoooo, I didn't mean to have that picture go public! I'm a nice girl, boooo hoooo, it was for my boy friend, Zach Efron, who I'm gonna marry and have babies with......WAHHH!

I don't get either one of these two...she's just like any other My Space ho and he's well, no David Cassidy. Someone's crying for attention here. When her lawyers write me, I'll print the letter. But, here's a heads up to them..don't give a fuck.

Update...Vanessa Hudgens is fired by Disney. No more Vanessa in High School Musicalness..she's been replaced by Adrienne Bailon.

Three worthless egomaniacs

Jessica! You look so bright! I'll bet you're thinking about your new theories for nuclear reactors and time travel machines and chewing double bubble and walking at the same time. You're deep, you are.




Is Gweneth Paltrow really getting a divorce?? That's the rumor. OMG, that's what happens when women star in movies with Brad Pitt. Now Angelina will shrink down to 30 pounds and get permanent frown lines worrying about how hunchback bunhead is gonna refuck her man.




Tyraliens are coming! Oh Tyra, gurl fren, you look so shtrong, so fierce! I be tellin' ya momma whut a shtrong fierceness yall got goin' on. Oh, honey chile, you done got me influenced to da point I kin tawk Aunt Jemima, jez like yew! This post brought to you by Tyra Is A Fake Sell Out Inc. Also AnnoyingPhoneyWhore.com.

Kate Bosworth at some fashion show

It doesn't matter what the name of the event it, no one gives a shit. She is just THE strangest looking little weirdo with her stenciled eyebrows and goony face. WTF is she famous for? I don't know. She makes me throw up. I like the hair (read sarcasm)..these freekin' "stars" fly in hairdressers from Fruitcake France and HomoVille Texas to do their wiggy ass's up for events and this is the best they can come up with? That's called catching the end of your ponytail in your scrunch and any woman who's ever taken a shower knows it. GAaaaaaaaaa!

The hell you say? Beowulf trailer

Readers say it's all computer generated and just Angies voice. Umm, okay, she still scares the crap outta me. I do a great Jolie voice, I've been answering the phone with it. People keep hanging up on me.

Have you seen Madeleine?

3 year old Brit, Madeleine McCann went missing while her family was on vacation in Portugal on May 3rd, this last spring. I get all this junk mail about stuff like this all the time and I usually ignore it, but, this one's for real, we all know about it. Here's the deal..I always look at missing kids photos and try and remember, but, it's hard. Little kids often look alike, don't they? But, Madeline has a distinct feature that's hard to forget. It's her eye. Look at the right eye there. Her pupil actually splits and runs in a line into her iris. Like a clock pointing at 7. There have been possible sightings of Madeleine McCann from Argentina to London. Bloggers have been asked to try and help...so here she is. If you've think you've seen Madeleine...call Crimestoppers. In the UK please call 0800 555 111 From outside the UK, call 00 44 18 83 73 1336

Britney Spears with clothes on!

That's something you don't see everyday..or ever. I swear this chick is addicted to public bathrooms and laxatives. If I had a nickle for every photo of her in a public bathroom, I could have bought her Malibu mansion and had the skank steamed out of it. She looks like she's fanning away a bad smell. I don't think closing that door will help, Poon, it's coming from you.

Good grief!

Halle Berry just announced her pregnancy and today she looks like this. Geez. Must feel good not to hold it in anymore. I wonder if she has her due date mixed up??

Jolie does Beowulf

So, Angelina gets all nakie and painted with gold stuff for her role as monster Grendels mommy in Beowulf. That still does NOT look like her body. She's scrawny as burnt twigs. It also doesn't really look like her face. Maybe they had someone else for this scene. But, all the Jolie worshippers will be woody over it anyway. Have you ever read Beowulf? Yeah, it's a classic epic poem and it hurt my friggin' blonde head trying to figure out why people think it's good. I'd rather read Vogue in a language I don't speak, and not look at Angie naked, even fake Angie naked. Ick on all of this..now ya'll pretenders can go see it and make believe you understand it and are classy and all literary and stuff. I know better. You just wanna see fake Angie naked.

Pavarotti dead at age 71

Luciano Pavarotti, opera's biggest superstar, has lost his battle with pancreatic cancer and passed passed away early today. Rest In Peace.

Brad Pitt finally talks about Jen Aniston..sort of

Brad in an interview with V magazine.. “The most important thing about that time was for Jen and me to figure out if – how do I put it? – if we didn’t want to go on without any outside influence.” On trying to get all he can out of his marriage with Aniston: “Is this where we got off? Have we taken this as far as we wanted to go?” He says, “Those questions had to be answered before an attraction to Angie could be answered.” On how he handled the split with Aniston: “I don’t know how better to have handled it…The thing guiding me then was you don’t know how many days you have, and you need life to be everything you need it to be.”

Okay, read that twice and now realize that Jennifer Aniston is, at this moment, sticking long sharp pins into a very pretty voodoo doll. And I don't mean an Angie doll, no, that one would be saved for greater evil. Like a voodoo stew pot or just some lighter fluid and a bic. How insulting. And I used that pic because I like the essense of Angelina in it. Makes ya shiver, doesn't it?

The double talker goes on to say he and Jennifer are still close and had a life that can never be erased. But, that first sentance cracked me up. He's basically saying he wondered if his wife wouldn't just put up with his "outside influence." Isn't that what is sounds like to you? Now, I can ignore a cheater, that's kind of par for the course sometimes, but, a bullshitter? That's lame.

Chef Ramsay had an accident

Gordon Ramsay had something to say about that reported "knee injury" he had..

He said, "I burnt my right bollock and I'm in absolutely agony. You wouldn't believe how much this hurts. The other day I was standing too close to the hob when I was cooking. I was wearing these cotton trousers and underneath I was going commando. Suddenly I felt this searing heat. I went, 'Fuck me, bollocks to that', and for once I was spot on. My balls were burning."

"I went to the hospital because of the excruciating pain. I had an ultrasound and I get the results on Friday. People think I went in for a knee injury, but that's bollocks."

OWCH! Gordon is my favorite celeb chef and I hope he's back in the kichen soon, but, damn, turn down the heat! Though if you're a fan of Hells Kitchen, you know he has extra balls.

Nicole plays big sis

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden take Nicoles little sister, Sofie out to lunch. Kind of a big deal because though her father, Lionel, never says much about what Nicoles up to, for a long time Nicole wasn't allowed to be around her younger brother and sister because of the drugs. Nicole admitted that. Now Lionel allows the kids to spend time alone with Nicole and she can even take them out.

Jude Law kicked some ass

Jude Law jumped a pap yesterday outside Law's home then he turned himself in to London police. Get this, the paparazzi claims he was just standing at the bus stop minding his own, didn't even have his camera out, when Jude comes flying out and beats him senseless and calls him a "fucking pedophile." Seems Jude accused the guy of stalking his kids.

Hmm, I find it hard to believe Jude Law just goes off the wall and beats holy hell out of some innocent guy waiting for a bus. That just doesn't make sense. And since when is there a bus stop in front of Judes mansion??..lol. Come on, guy, you can do better than that. I think it's kinna hot that Jude kicked his ass. Jude's out on bail now. Kick his ass some more!

Pink in Berlin

Heh heh, I am so immature. I love this pic 'cause it looks like something's flying out her butt.

Keira Knightley at the Atonement premier

There..that's for all you weirdos who think she's hot. She looks like a bag of bones wrapped in used toilet paper to me. And she needs to meet a nice dentist.

Pic from Coco magazine

Yeah, Coco is so droolworthy they gave her her own magazine to get naked in. Ice T probably bought all the copies and now all the pages are stuck together. We're supposed to be impressed by her plastic work. It's just so sexy how they glued basketballs to her chest and beach balls to her ass. I'm impressed that anyone has enough skin to cover all that crap. I'll bet she had a twin sister and they murdered her and stole all her matching skin to stretch over all Coco's implants.

Spiderman got hitched

Tobey Maguire married Jennifer Meyer, the mom of his nine-month-old daughter Ruby, in Kona on Monday. The couple said their vows in front of a small group of family and friends, including Leonardo DiCaprio. They look like your average everyday couple.

Brad and Angie fake thier entrance...

These two got to their hotel in France last weekend and must have felt like they didn't look thier best, so they entered through a side door, hid in a baggage lift and went to their suite and got all gussied up. Then they snuck out again, had the driver take them round the block and come back, where they made their grand entrance looking like this. I don't know what to make of it. Do they really care that much about the cameras and media? Yeah, I guess they do. But, really, they are Brad and Angie..why didn't they just stay in the damn room if they didn't want all the fuss?

Amy Winehouse at the Mecury Awards

Amy really is amazing, but, that top photo is what her arm really looked like uncovered on vacation. I'll be sad when Amy dies.

Halle Berry announces pregnancy

Halle and her boy friend, Gabriel Aubry are expecting a good looking baby. She said, “Yes, I am three months pregnant! Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I’ve waited a long time for this moment in life. Now the next seven months will be the longest of my life!”

Actually it will be the next 18 years, but, I won't burst her bubble.

More Nicole Kidman...

WOW! Photoshopped or not, that's something. She looks like a living Barbie. What I wouldn't give to grow legs like that!

Crackwhore in Spain

Eva Longwhoria..just because you're petite doesn't mean you should buy you're bathing suits in the childrens department. That's ridiculous..she looks like an idiot.

Lindsay Lohan another rehab break

The Blow took a break from rehab to go to the drugstore. Reports are it was Rite Aide, but, it was more likely some lowlife in the alley. Is this bitch going to just live in rehab forever? Seems like she's been in rehab for 400 years...and it still hasn't helped. Words out..she's broke. Well, not really, but, her manager shut off her funds and she's been calling everyone in Hollywood trying to borrow money. She always asks for 10 grand. She ran up a million dollar hotel bill at Chateau Marmont before they kicked her ass out and her accountants claim she spent a million or more in the last year that's just unaccounted for. Dur. Her manager is her mom, Dina, by the way..so you know by the time she gets out of rehab, she WILL be broke.

Oh, I forgot, when she asks for the 10 grand, she always says "I'm good for it, I'm the most famous person on the planet." Really? Yeah you are, Blow. My tounge is so far in my cheek right now, I'm bouta poke a hole in my jaw.

Photoshopped Nicole Kidman

WTF is up with this thing? Not only do I see no reason why she'd have to hold her blouse open like a common celeb slut, but, they gave her huge boobies. We've all seen Nicole naked and she has no boobs. Some people aren't meant to have boobs. She's a beautiful woman, why can't they just let us accept her for that? I find this photo disturbing. In the interview she talks briefly about the two miscarriages she had with Tom Cruise and says someday the real story may be told. History says Tom left her while she was pregnant with the last one she lost. I want to hear the story NOW! I just know that rotten bastard did something evil to her and she's still scared to talk about it. Anyway, Nicole and her current hubby, Kieth Urban are trying for a child of their own. Tick tock.

Is Goldie having a tent sale?

What the hell?

The news I'm most sick of...

Nick Hogan and his retardedness. Now Hulk Hogan is saying his son wasn't racing and he's just a good kid who had an accident. Shut the fuck up. First of all, I don't know why this nobody kid is even headline news. He's got a D lister daddy and an F lister sister. Big friggin' deal. Second, that's a pic of the aftermath of a one car accident...and you tell me there's no speed and racing involved? What am I retarded? Now it's all boo hoo his critically injured passenger is an Iraq war vet. Do you see any mad Iraqis there holding machine guns, forcing this guy to get in the car with a douche who has more speeding tickets than ParAss Hilton has pubic crabs? No. Nick called it his pussy mobile. Fuck..that numbnut kid couldn't get pussy in a female prison with his dads credit card. Family of dumbass's is what they are.

Paris Hilton planning babies

There's ParAss dancing with her fug sister because no one else will dance with her ass. But, men still get drunk and screw her and that fits into her plans. You see, ParAss wants a baby..lots of babies.

Paris said, "I want kids next year, so I've got to get my body ready."

A source also said that Paris is definitely feeling maternal. "Paris told me, 'I want lots of babies and a more simple life away from the celebrity spotlight. I did a lot of soul-searching about my partying and then I heard Nicole was pregnant and I decided it's time for me to grow up and take responsibility - and the best way to do that is to become a mother. "

Yeah, and I heard a couple of her ferrets died so she has cage space now.

Britney left the kids at home..ALONE!

I thought this crazy photo of her wearing a skirt for a dress was the worst of Poontang this week. I was wrong. Last Friday night Britney had her time with the kids, but, decided she had to party in Vegas with Criss Angel, so the genius mom called a nanny service to watch her toddlers. BUT, she left before the nanny got there. When the nanny arrived the boys had been screaming their heads off in their cribs for over an hour..all alone. Britney's pathetic excuse was that she thought the housekeeper was watching them. But, there was no one there and the nanny walked right in an unlocked door. Kevin and his lawyer are on this one. She's going to lose those kids for sure. One way or another. Let's hope it's to their father and not the grave.

More bad dads

That dated photo is Rihanna's dad selling clothes out the back of his car in Barbados. It's still what he does to support himself. Ronald Fenty was a crack addict while his daughter was growing up, but, now claims he's kicked the habit and his millionaire daughter doesn't give him a cent.

Rihanna: “I am actually embarassed by that. I don’t like speaking about it because I am not proud of it. But it is something that helped make me who I am today. Now people know that I am not perfect and that I had real conflicts. My dad is not pleased, because he is embarassed. We still have not sat and had a conversation about it.”

Something's fishy here..if he's really clean then why won't she help him out? Pffft, this guys still on crack and his daughter knows it and isn't helping support his habit. That's what I think.

Her current love interest, Shia LaBeouf also has a druggie dad. Shia said “I got to grow up in a situation where drugs were demonic. To watch your dad go through heroin withdrawl is something that would keep you from doing any of that yourself."

Photographer David LaChapelle dishes the dirt

David LaChapelle is telling on Hollywood big shots. David refused to work with Madonna, Gwen Stefani or Christina Aguilera. He hates them! Something happened the last time he worked with Stefani and though he won't say exactly what it was, it was apparently bad enough that he's banned her from his list of stars to work with. He won't work for Madonna anymore at all saying she's "nasty and cruel." He claims he doesn't mind difficult stars and understands that, but, that there is true cruelty in Madonna and she loves torturing her employees. David produced Amy Winehouse's video for 'Tears Dry On Their Own', and didn't have any harsh words about Amy. I guess junkies aren't that much trouble. He also like J-Lo (go figure) and Courtney Love, and of course, Pam Anderson.

I can't imagine Pam has a mean bone in her body, but, speaking of her body..geez, it's time to start dressing like a lady, Pam. We all know she's made a mint off that bod and seems to be holding onto every stripper pose she can wrangle, but, someone needs to tell her it's time to cover up. I've always liked Pam, I like her because she knows what she is..she's never gone around pretending she's some genius. But, she's a great comedic actress and people like her. She should hold onto that and put some clothes on.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Victoria Beckham was home alone when she spotted a man hiding in her shrubbery at her new Beverly Hills mansion. She called for security and they chased him, but, stalker dude managed to get away. Now they're saying they tracked him down and are considering legal action. Considering?? By all accounts this guy didn't have a camera. The paps get a little crazy sometimes, but, at least stars know all they want is a money shot..when some dude who has no camera is hiding in your bushes and your home all alone, you need to just consider the fucker a target. He'd have some majah buckshot in his ass if it was me. And if you think I'm kidding, you'd be wrong. Zero tolerance for stalkers here. VB needs a bodyguard at every door and not those fat lazy fuckers who drink coffee all day while reading Star magazine.

Shia LaBeouf and Rihanna

They ARE dating, I don't care what they say. They've been seen out together several times but, he covers his head and runs off before the paps can get a good shot. He has privacy issues. Hmm, her music makes me want to poke pencils in my eardrums, but, she's AWFULLY pretty and not a skank. He's on my stars to watch list because he's just a cool guy. I think they make a good couple..what do you think?

Nicole Richie..changed and happy

Nicole getting her juice on and showing. You know, it seems to me like all these rehabbed stars are lying most of the time, but, I don't think Nicole is. That's not to say she won't party like a Lohan once the kid gets here, but, for now, I think she's totally straight and finally happy. That kid is in good hands. Maybe Niclole will grow to like this new life so much, she'll stick with it.

Brad and Angie..another baby? The answer is YES

And it came from Brad himself. Brad, upon being asked about another child...Brad responded, “Yeah, we’re ready.”
“It’s the most fun I’ve ever had and also the biggest pain,” Brad said earlier in the day about being a parent. “I love it and can’t recommend it any more highly — although sleep is nonexistent.”

Whatever floats their strange boat. Rumors are swirling again that Angie's pregnant, but, everytime the scrawny mom eats a grape someone claims they see a baby bump. This next one will probably be adopted because I think she's gonna sever his nut sack there with her jutting hip bone. Not that the poor fucker has any gonads left. It's cute how he's desperately trying to figure out where her ass went.

Poontangs panties..I love this one

Brit flashes paps her nasty panties while her kid howls in the backseat. "See Spidey man honey? See mammas cootch!?" Some kids are so spoiled and ungreateful.

Lindsay Lohan the real question's been answered

Blohan..is she straight? Is she sober? Is she sorry? HAIL NO! So what if she tested positive for coke in rehab, had sex with other residents and said "fuck off" to chores. That's not our business, right? The real question we all want answered is..is that her real hair? Nope. She called Ken Paves and he sent an "extension specialist" to Utah to shore up her locks in case photogs got some more pics of her in rehab. You can bet on that, Blow. Seems her hair is as fake as the rest of her act.

Angelina does "The Face"

Brad and Angie at the Venice film Festival premiere of The Assasination of Jesse James thingy. Yeah, they look all polished and cool, as usual. But, Angie has the face on. I know you've noticed, just like I have, that there are certain stars who never break face. It is an expression of non expression. Angie has it mastered. Doesn't matter if she's shopping, carrying kids, getting on a plane or on a red carpet..it's the same face and it holds just a hint of murder. I think, if it was legal, she'd be coming at the paps with an axe.

Gisele Bundchen is a major bitch...no doubt about it

Gisele sent Bridget Moynahans new baby boy an expensive basket from Petit Tressor..the kicker? One item was a newborn onesie with "Supermodel" emblazoned across the front. Do I even have to type about how cunty that is??? Maybe the bitch is just retarded.

Cash Warren is finger licking good

So says Jessica Alba. So they ARE back together. Good deal, I don't know who else would want either one of them. This photo made me nauseous. I must have gotten up on the wrong side of my broom today because every celeb pic I look at is making me puke. There are some sickening people out there making way more money than they deserve and here are two of them.