Katie and Suri shopping

Looks like Suri took that phrase "shop 'till ya drop" a bit seriously. Are Katie and Suri wearing matching outfits? Look at the bottom of Suris shoes..kids been truckin'.

Jolie Pitt kids go on a day trip

The Jolie Pitts take their family to the Field Museum in Chicago. Gotta give those kids some culture. I need some culture, wish they'd take me. Well, Brad at least. Z almost looks like she's smiling. Still scary. That little Pax looks like a sweet angel. Angie says he's a holy terror (from just discovering freedom, she explains it.)

Naomi Watts new bundle

Naomi shows off her new baby, Alexander Pete. Awwww. She looks so happy.

It's August...

And those of you who know me, know how I HATE August. Every August I post some RHPS...it's a tradition that gets me through this horrible month. Sweet Transvestite. I got caught up in this decades ago, and now I have finally managed to give up my obsession....until August. I see you shiver with antici.........pation. Enjoy.

Nicole Richies baby bump

She hasn't looked this good in years!

Hannah Montana's daddy is pissing off his neighbors

Billy Ray Cyrus is known for letting his big ol' dog poop on his neighbors lawns. That's right, the former mullet master won't pick up his own pup poop and the whole neighborhood is infuriated with him. There is nothing I like reading more than bad neighbor stories. Well almost. Anyway..tell me your bad neighbor story! Post it and let 'em have it!

Holy crap!!!

Derek Jeters herpes tree...courtesy of Holy Candy.

Baby Z..doesn't care

Zahara Jolie Pitt NOT going for the pretty child of the year award. Call me a cunt, but, this kid scares me.

Katherine McPhart is 9 months pregnant

Okay, she's not. She just let a gigantic butt poot and blew out her dress. That's what you get when you buy your clothes at Taco Bell. Witness's said the sound of the ass gas was much more inspiring than her singing.

Subliminal Billy Graham

This brought a genuine chuckle to me. Someone doesn't like him, and, despite whatever bullshit he's spewing inside, they managed to sneak this cover by. Thanks, whoever you are, you'll probably get fired, but, you made my day.

The owner of the other car..that Britney hit

Check this out..it's just typical Britney only this time she got caught on camera. WTF is wrong with her brain?

Rehab it is...

Guess who took her filthy ballet slippers, her massive beehive and her crunchy short shorts to rehab? Yep, you know who I'm talkin' about. Despite the success of her song which claims she won't go..she did go, after three days of nonstop partying that landed her in the hospital. The amount of drugs and booze she consumed in three days shocked the crap out of me. She should be dead, but, I'm glad she isn't. Good luck, Amy Winehouse.

Lohan news

Oh, crap. I kew sooner of later I'd have to hear about poor Lindsay and what she's going through. Utah's Cirque Lodge..first of all, why do they call it a lodge if it's rehab? If it's really rehab and not a joke like Promises in Malibu, then just call it what it is. Lindsay has to scrub a toilet and make her bed. Oh, keerist, how bad can it get for her? It's her damn toilet, I could give two turds and a dust bunny. I like Lindsay, but, she's a drugging drunk who won't stop smashing cars, she has to be stopped. I don't think making her own bed will hurt her.

In other Lindsay news..a former body guard says her dad smacked her around and called her names like slut. Her mom let her drink when she was 15, right in front of Dina,and both parents let her spend the night at hotels with boys when she was 15 or younger. Lindsay begged for time off, but, the parents used her as the family cash cow and she's been working nonstop since before she had boobs.

What can you say? We all know this shit is true. The Blow is the sole sorce of income for her whole deranged family and always will be. Well, Linds, you're 21 now, you can't blame it on them anymore. Time to pull your head outta your ass and get on with it. Set up trust funds for your brothers and sister and cut your parents loose. Do your time, (you will get time) and start over. Party in private after that because we all know you aint clean yet..hire some slob to monitor your intake so you don't die. Put on a front and try to get a job. Man, this is depressing.

Oh, I almost forgot..her friends are saying she's pregnant. I hope not, that will be one farked up mutant baby.

Angie gave up the kink for Brad

The big story of the day, so far, is Angelina Jolie talking sex stuff with some French mag.

She revealed: "I've never hidden my bisexuality, but since I've been with Brad, there's no longer a place for that or S+M in my life."

"He lets me talk to whoever I want. He has complete blind faith in me."

What's this shit about him "letting" her talk to people?? We all know Angies bisexual and a bit of a freak, no news there..but, since when does she let a man "allow" her to do jack? Somethin's fishy here. I used the St. Johns ad because I had saved the pic and I liked it. There's a lot of pics of her right now looking like dirt, but, let's be real..she can be as beautiful as she is fugly, depending on the day. The weims in that photo aren't getting too close. Weims are like that, they're creepy smart and can read your soul. They're probably sensing she might include them in an orgy if there's ever a breakup between her and pussywhipped, errr, Brad. Gowd, I'm a bitch. You know it's true though. Isn't "blind faith" an interesting choice of words? He lets James Haven hang around, and that's way more open minded than I could ever be.

Emma Bunton has a baby boy

Baby Spice had her baby and the boys name is Beau. He was born at 11:12am at London’s Portland hospital and they are both doing just fine. This is Emmas first baby and the daddy is boyfriend, Jade Jones. Congrats to the new family.

Paris Hilton, back on her game

Mornin'. This is my breakfast..a cuppa Joe, a smoke and the knowledge that another man has fallen victim to the Hilton snatch web. He turned her down and made us laugh, but, now Adrian Grenier is openly cavorting with the Herp Queen. He spent part of the day at the beach with her, yesterday and then went out with her that night. What happened to his girl friend and his integrity? Ha! Cover it, Adrian, and buy stock in Valtrex..this will last a week tops.

She looks like she's just eaten a piece of told you so pie in that first pic..heh. Whaddacunt.

Alba has the Herp

SOURCE...Jessica Alba has herpes and she got it from Derek Jeter, according to her ex bf Cash Warrens assistants who claim they were constantly sent out to pick up Alba's Valtrex. Geez, I know a lot of people have herpes now, but, it's still a big deal. Love doesn't last forever..herpes does. I wouldn't call Alba a whore, but, I would say she's not too bright. Our source (crabbie!) calls her mildly retarded and I agree. At least she knows who gave it to her, that's better than ParAss Hilton who's still trying to figure out if hers came from a man, a group of men, a woman, an alien space dude or the local zoo.

The blob doesn't hold a grudge

If you can look passed that nerd in the bad shirt, you can see Shiloh giving her mom a kiss. Or maybe the kid's teething and wants a bone to gnaw on. I'm kidding..geesh.

Jessica Simpson playing the diva card

Jess is working on her rip off of Private Benjamin, called Major Movie Star (the title itself is a hoot) and everyone says she's just acting like the biggest diva ever. She bitches and moans about the heat, throws tantrums daily, won't eat or have anything to do with the cast, had a driver ferry her to location even if it's only a 100 feet away. She's gone on tirades against the wardrobe people, blaming them because she sweats and cussing them out like a drunken sailor. This bitch just doesn't get it, does she? She's not a star, not in the real sense of the word. She has no real talent and has never done anything worth a shit, she's dumber than dirt and not even that cute..so where's she get off? Why do people keep hiring her for stuff? I don't get it. If we ignore her, will she go away???

RANT..Make them go away!!!

OMG. I am so sick of these two little assholes. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of The Hills..who watches that shit? NO ONE. She bought some boobs and a new nose and all they do is pose and fight with their costars on a show no one watches. I CAN'T STAND IT. He makes my gaydar go through the roof. Seriously, is that not the face of a dick eater? Gay friends..tell me. Yet he continues to hang with this surgery beard claiming he's in love. NOW they want a reality show, much like Jessica and Nick. You gotta be kidding me. Reality shows are only good when there's a famous train wreck. So far, they're only semi famous for their My Space lame insults. I can't even believe I gave them the time it took to type this, I was just mad. They make me vomit. GO AWAY, YOU FUG, NO ACCOUNT LITTLE ASSHOLES!

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz..the KY twins

Lollapolooza..swag suites..Ashlee and Pete..

A source said, "They were given KY Intimacy kits, but they wouldn't take photos with them."

"They were both overheard saying how Ashlee's dad would murder them if they started showing off that stuff."

I don't even want to hear the words Ahslee's dad and KY in the same sentance. The mental pictures could keep me in nightmares for the next decade. I think Joe Simpson has a swimming pool filled with KY and a big inflatable hole he wiggles through while babbling his daughters names and drooling. Gag..I just grossed myself out. Sorry. Anyhow, there's something kind of cute about this couple. Sure, he's built weird and wears his pants too tight and she's just made of plastic now, but, other than having sex in the restroom of their own club, they don't bother anybody.

Gwyneth and a rat for no reason

There's no reason for this. That's not her rat, it's not for a movie. The photographer just wanted something different so he had Gwyneth feed a rat with a sippy cup. She's a big star, she could have told him to fuck off and she should have. I have nothing against rats, sippys, or weird photos, but, this is just completely stupid and she looks like an idiot. And also like Peggy Lipton, as one reader pointed out.



Peggy Lipton. Would you pose with a rat and a sippy? No? I didn't think so.

Megan Fox is brainwashed into believeing she's a star

Megan Fox on Lindsay Lohan..

"Lindsay and I were never friends when we starred together. I mean, we were two 16-year-old girls, it's rare for two girls of that age to get along, and we didn't.

"I can't believe people think we're alike?! Ugh!"

Hmm, Megan, if it helps, I don't think you're anything like Lohan. The Blow is way cuter than you and her freckles are preferable to your pockmarks. Does anyone else think this chick is destined to star in a couple more dumbass movies that go nowhere and then become the face of something chintzy like Keds or Mabeline? Then there will be crotch shots and and "accidental" porn tape. Yawn. Someone put on Winehouse's rehab song.

Britney and her lollies..

Here's the rumor..Britney is constantly photographed sucking on those stupid lolly pops..she even shared the used one with friends. She likes them because they're drug candy. She loves the Marijuana ones but has now graduated to the ones containing fentanyl citrate. It's used to treat pain in cancer patients and is sort of like Morphine. Poontang keeps a supply in her purse and pulls one out when she needs a high. Do I believe this? Yeah. I watch Weeds man! Kevin has just filed papers to get more custody because he thinks her behavior is bizarre and dangerous to his kids. Drug laced lolly pops around toddlers? Jeeeeeeebus, why doesn't she just teach them how to tie off and inject? In all seriousness..why doesn't she just leave them with their dad where they're safe and go visit them? That's what it's going to come down to, unless she kills one of them first.

Amy Winehouse is tired

Winerun was hospitalized for "exhaustion" and the rest of her shows have been cancelled. Ummm, since when do they pump your stomach because you're tired? Whatever..horseshit. Get better, Amy.

Jordan doesn't breast feed

Yeah, it's a controversial subject, but, Katie Price, seen here shit faced drunk says of bottled formula..


"It's brilliant. I have 20 crates of teats and bottles," she told the magazine.

"I don't have to sterilize or heat anything, you literally take the teat out, screw it on, and throw it away.

"I don't care what people say - you don't have to breastfeed ... I don't want a baby drinking from me - the thought of it makes me feel really funny."

I agree, you don't have to breast feed, but, it's good for the kid. However, there are some of us who are NOT into it for mental or physical reasons. The kid will be fine. But, the reason Katie doesn't want to seems to be so she can go out and get shnockered and show her crotch, which you can't do while breastfeeding. Well, you could show your crotch, but, not get hammered..unless you think your newborn would really benifit from a double gin and tonic.


I was surprised to read that ads promoting formula for kiddies under 6 months are banned in the UK..hey, Brit readers, is that true???

Scary got herself hitched

Mel Brown and Stephen Belafonte are married! The two were quietly wed last month and managed to keep it a secret. There have been all these stories about how her friends don't trust him and think he's not who he says he is, even calling him her "mystery man." Ummm, I may not be the sharpest pencil in the box, but, there's this thingy called Google. Doh, he is Stephen Belefonte. Now she's Mrs. Scary Belafonte, and she beat Eddie Murphy to the alter. I wish them well, and hope he's a better dad than you know who. Actually, who wouldn't be?

Congrats Sara Gilbert!

Sara had her baby and it's a little girl, awwwww. Baby Sawyer joins her brother Levi and Sarah's partner, Allsion.

Britney accuses her mom of sleeping with K-Fed!

Okay, this is nuts. A source close to the family says: "Britney accused her mom of sleeping with Kevin! Britney doesn’t know up from down right now. She’s so confused and angry, she told Lynne that she was so backstabbing, that she was probably sleeping with Kevin just to hurt her feelings. Lynne, on the other hand, is deeply hurt that her own daughter would so viciously accuse her of doing something so terrible.”

Oh, come on, Poontang, you can't be that crazy..or maybe you are. I never thought Lynne would win mother of the year, even if the only other two mothers left on the planet are Kathy Hilton and Dina Lohan, but, sleeping with your ex husband, the father of her grandsons??? At this point, Britney just needs a lobotomy.

The other big Brit story is some college boy, Matt Encinia, who says she seduced him and swam topless. Big friggin'. Sounds like a tame night and a little boy who needs to shut his mouth. Locker room talk..go back to jr. high. Wipe your dink off with a towel, Matt and sell the lipstick print on eBay and stfu.

Richards wants Sheens love juice..eww

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are fighting again, this time about the nanny arrangements. Denise requires him to take in her nanny with the kids, but, Charlie thinks Denise's nanny spys on him for her. Charlie also says Denise calls his house way too much and that she wants to have another one of his babies. Denise says that's not true.

I passed on this story a couple of days ago because I wasn't sure which one of these two I wanted to rag on. It's Denise, hands down. I watched a film om ET and Charlie claims he has proof Denise asked him for some Sheen juice to have another baby. The reporter doing the story claimed Charlie showed it to him and it sounds like an email. Oh, geeeez, did Denise get all morose because Richie Sambora liked rehab better than her and start waxing sentimental about her ex? Betcha..late night, alone, no Richie, 18 glasses of wine and peeking in on the sleeping kids..pretty soon she's sniffling and sobbing about the good old days and fires off an email to Charlie. He, of course, kept it to humiliate her, because that's Charlie. (I would have done the same.) Charlie Sheen has held no interest to Denise Richards other than a paycheck for child support for ages..now he announces his engagement to someone else and Denise becomes a pest. And a bit loony. Hey, it could happen to anyone, Denise. But, I'm glad it happened to you.

Oh, as for Charlie and the third baby with Denise, he says he'd rather walk on the moon in what he's wearing, which I took to mean he'd rather suffocate on cold alien ground than have anything more to do with his ex. Just think about this whole thing for a minute..Charlie Sheen does not want sex with an attractive woman. That's gotta be a first. How bitchy is Denise in real life??? Geeeesh.

Creepy photo of the week

Someone should tell Mischa Barton that wearing lame', those fairy things on your head and posing in a bomb shelter dosen't make you a princess. It just doesn't. Sort of like a car wreck, isn't it? You just can't look away.

Does W stand for weirdo? Wacked? Wanker? WFT?

Two Gwyneth posts in one week. Im bouta puke. Goddess?? Someone forgot to shave her eyebrows this week.

Nicky Hilton moves her art collection

Nicky's moving into her new house and doesn't trust moving men with her precious art. I like the painting of her as a DJ, but, wtf is with that cartoon thing? Okay, I get that people collect original cells and they're expensive and historical, bla bla...but, that frame tells me this is some crap picked up on a drunken trip to Tijuana. Is it really possible that these people have no taste AT ALL?

Sick a fork in the Lohans, they're all done

Dina-ho is being sued for almost half a million dollars that she borrowed for Lindsays singing career. Lindsay decided to buy some coke instead and the singing tanked. It's cool though, because you know she shared with mom.

Michael Lohan is still making a stink, claiming he wants Dina's boy friend, Jim McMillan, who Michael claims he heard make "inappropriate" comments while he was on the phone with his kids, who don't want to talk to him but a judge told them they have to. Straight yet? Was the inappropriate comment something like "Hey Ali, your ass looks hot in those shorts?" I doubt it. Somehow I picture Dina's boyfriend in a dirty wife beater, with a highball glass in one hand and his other hand scratching his nutsack saying "Tell yer jail burd daddy to knock off callin' my ol lady, hic." Tell me I'm wrong.

And Lindsay's still in hiding. Wonder why? Pffft. Look in Columbia. You can snort right out of a vat there.

Gemma's the new it girl

19 year old model, Gemma Ward is the new "it" girl, in case you didn't know. I spotted her in a John Mayer video a long time ago and had to find out who she was, because she has one of those faces. Since then I keep an eye out for her wondering what she's up to. Top pic is UK Vogue.

Paris can't sleep on cheap sheets

According to Kathy Hilton the worst part of ParAss in jail was the terrible thin sheets she had to sleep on. It broke Kathys heart. You know, these people need some real managers or reps to tell them to when shut the fuck up. No wonder ParAss is a dumbass, she was raised by a dumbass. ParAss can sleep fine on a cement park bench after pulling an ass train there and we all know it. But, put her in a cell with no drugs..the crying never stops.

Britney smashes a parked car

Poontang smashed into a parked car today and then yelled "I'm a brainiac!" Then she whines and pouts for the paps while inspecting her own car, never looks at the car she hit and leaves with no note, nothing. Yes, you are a brainiac, Britney..if brainiac means retarded whore.



How long before someone tells her she's not cute anymore?

Maddox turns 6

Yeah,it's cool that Brad and Angie spent time with their son on his birthday, daddy riding with him in the yard, but, what is all that crap behind them? I know you accumulate a ton of crap whith four kids, but, come on! This is the castle, right? Why does it look like they're throwing a yard sale or living in a flea market?

BTW..Angie recently said that her and Brad only fight over politics. Ha! So that throwing wine story was true.

Katie comes home..without Suri

Katie Holmes and her sad mom jeans came home yesterday, to LA..without little Suri. The kid is still in Italy with Tom. Does anyone else think it's weird that whenever Katie is allowed to go far away from Tom, she is never allowed to take her daughter? Maybe "allowed" isn't the right word, but, that's the way it seems. A mom can't really escape without her baby.

When Kathy Griffin Met Lindsay Lohan

Okay, I'm sick of blogging the crap today..watch some Kathy Griffin. My favorite D-lister. Now, SHE'S funny.

PART 2

POTO's response to Tomkats sexy photo shoot

> SNORT!<

Lame Ass Story...Madonna and David Banda

You know it's slow as molassas when the news starts jumping on this kind of crap. Madonna's case worker, Penstone Kilembe, from Malawi is off the adoption case because she bought him a plane ticket. Now everyones worrying that lil' David could get deported back to whatever mud hutt she plucked him out of. Oh, friggin' PLEASE...that baby isn't going anywhere. I don't care if Madonna bought Penstone a mansion, a county or a heard of pink shetland ponies. That bitch will just buy Africa if she has to. This weeks most retarded story is what I call it.