Madonna nude pic going for 10-15 grand

1979 Hairy Gris...click at your own risk.

Kendra's sorry she talked about Hef

Wilkinson now says, "I'm more upset at myself with what I said. I'm really bad at interviews, and anyone who knows me knew I meant no harm…I'm a goofball. Mostly, I'm very sorry to have hurt Hef…Playboy made me who I am, and Hef has done more for me than anyone else. In my heart, I will always love Hef and Playboy."
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Kendra felt so bad she had to stop by the Playboy mansion and tell Hef she was sorry. She said Hef was hurt but he understands..that she's a goofball, I guess. And she said she knows she can't take back the part about cheating on Hef. Awww, Kendra, you're still in his grip. You'll be alright in a year or so. You just told the truth. It's not your responsibility to provide Hef with his image.

Cybill Shepherd at the “United States of Tara” Premiere

Haven't seen her out for awhile. She still looks pretty, but, she also still looks bat shit crazy. I just threw the rip off version of that shirt in the trash because I thought it made me look matronly. Hmm, looking..yep, I made the right decision.

Oh, there's the dress

There's Katie's Miu Miu dress with out effects blocking it. All I can think of is burnt Jiffy Pop.

Rest in peace, Andrew

Artist, Andrew Wyeth died today, he was 91. I think he was best know for "Christina's World", there on the bottom, but, I don't know anyone who doesn't like Wyeth's paintings. It's sad that he's gone, but, wonderful that he left such a large body of work. Take a look HERE. Rest in peace, Mr. Wyeth.

I like Lady GaGa's hair

Is it a bone or a bow? Doesn't matter, I guess. It's hypnotizin' me with it's graphic perfectness.

OH! Now I get it

An ex boy friend of Oprah has coming slithering out of the woodwork to tattle that Oprah smoked crack. It's too late for him to blackmail her, Oprah has already admitted she smoked crack. So, this explains why she devoted a whole show to her love of Kate Winslet's breasts? Crack fucks you up. She should smoke those earrings.

Kimora Lee is pregnant

Kimora Lee Simmons is going to have a baby with her long time boy friend, Djimon Hounsou. Awwwww, Ming and Aoki will get a baby brother or sister. I love watching Kimora and her kids. They're soooooo funny and cute. Congrats.

These are the ones

I got distracted looking at old Barbie stuff. From solo Barbie in the spotlight, 1962 (bottom, middle) to the changing "mod" graphics of the 70's (top)..OMG, I had no idea there were so many different cases. Anyway, these are mine. They're packed full. What dolls do YOU still have????

Ali is a Barbie too

WTF is up with the Lohan girls and Barbie this week? Ali's black vinyl clutch is reminiscent of the original black vinyl Barbie case. Is it just me??

Just in passing..

Yes, Katie looks like Posh in her underpants ads...the same photographers did them both, so no surprise there. However, Miu-Miu really fucked up this time, if you ask me. The colors are garish and unpleasant. I am reminded of violent vomiting. Despite the fire, it's cold. Frigid. I can't really see the dress, the "art" gets in the way. I like looking at ads and commercials and I play this game where I'm the boss and they're (the ad people) selling it to me. In this one I say, "You're fired from Miu-Miu. Idiots! You will never work in this town again. Or any town." Then I laugh while they cry and beg, but, I don't give in. You can't give in to stupid people. It's for their own good.

Bouncie's a dog dumper

Beyonce Knowles...dog dumper. The Columbia record label employees, in NYC, would like to know when Beyonce is going to pick up her dog. She left him last Summer for "a short time." They assumed she meant, an hour or two. She never came back. Munchie, a five year old ShihTzu, is peeing on the office floor and the employees have to take turns taking Munchie home on weekends. They would like Beyonce to please come and pick up her dog.
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I say, you stay put, Munchie..you may be unloved, but, at least someone is feeding you. You're better off where you are. I know Bouncie LOVES animals, it's that Sasha Fierce you can't trust.

Back together...for at least a week

Lindsay and Sam are back on. I've known chicks in real life who go into denial when their significant other tells them it's over. Seems to work for them. You just ignore the fact that they say get lost, I'm done and throw all your clothes out on the lawn. Then you start trailing them and telling everyone to stop spreading rumors. Sooner or later they get drunk and take you home for a quickie and you're back! I just like that pic of The Blow, she looks like a Barbie doll there. The real Barbie is 50 this year. I don't know The Blow's age. You'd have to figure it in party girl years, it'd be like 460 or something. Aren't we all surprised she's alive?

Javier Bardem at a Barcelona soccer match

He's in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, remind me to see that. He's really good looking.

Garner's home

Jen Garner's finally home with her family, and that's a good thing. I'm sure little Violet is happy now. Jen is Violet's person, anyone can tell that from watching. I'm sure she loves her Dad, but, he's not her person. So, baby Serefina's home and you know what's happening now. Oh, yeah..the baby weight thing. How Jen got her body back! It's already started. I feel sick to my stomach. Leave the girl alone for a week, will ya? Can't they just let her vag stitches heal before they start this idiocy??

Out with the old, in with the new

According to Bridget, ex boy friend, Hef took down the pictures of the Girls Next Door, in the mansion, and replaced them with the Weenersucker twins. Bridget says what bothered her was that she hadn't moved out yet when Hef replaced her photos. She has some hard feelings about it. Bridget: "Hmm. I thought that was rude."
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Rude. As opposed to making your friends walk 40 blocks for mustard. Got ya.

New Sex and the City movie talk

Sarah Jessica Parker told friends: "My idea is to have someone like Britney Spears move to New York as my cousin or niece and Carrie would show her the ropes."
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Much like your hat..another brilliant idea. One more precariously balanced thing.

Kendra talks about life with Hef

Waiting for some juicy dish? Sorry, there's nothing here we don't already know. The girls were paid $1,000 a week to be Hef's girl friends, room and board and gifts. They were not allowed to have other jobs, except appearance fees. Kendra admits she actually did do fucky times with Hef, but, there were NO one on one dates. "I had to have sex every now and then, so I had to kind of sneak it. Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates." And.. "The most we kind of say to each other is, 'I love you,' 'Love you too,' 'I hope you have a good day,' 'Did you have a good day?' "
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Hef was controlling, which we know from watching the show. Kendra says living with Hef was "way more strict than my life has ever been." Hef had staff watch the girls and write down everything they did and when they came in, etc. Hef would review it each morning. Curfew was 9 pm.
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Kendra says Holly and Bridget were faithful to Hef, but, "Bridget told me that she's been faithful all these years, and I was like, 'How the hell can you do that?' I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age, like a healthy human being."
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This is all so boring, I knew this from watching TGND. Kendra:"I hate putting my hand out, but we couldn't have jobs other than getting appearance fees. Hef was kind of like my best friend, but a sugar daddy at the same time … Hef made me feel beautiful. Now I'm totally against [Hefner's] way of life, with three girlfriends and all of that." Thanks for being honest, Kendra..now tell us how much you hated Holly and why. THAT'S what I wanna know!

Hey, you two, nice hair

Jenny McCarthy, in Times Square, promoting Suave shampoo. Jim Carey set up a $50 million dollar trust fund for Jenny and her son in case anything should happen to him. That's 50 million bottles of Suave shampoo. Hey, they really do have nice hair. I like the Suave strawberry the best..what do you use?

Yeah happy wedding, but..

But, I think Fergie did herself a greedy disservice by selling the wedding photos. You are not Tom Cruise, Fergie. And now, a back view of the dress? Really? A back view? I don't know anyone who's going to pay US Weekly to see the front, except maybe her mother since no cameras were allowed. Oh, yeah, Fergie's such a big whompin' deal. Yawn.

Jon got his own place "to hang"

Jon Gosselin loves snowboarding inUtah, as we've seen on the endless free trip shows. His daughter Cara loves to ski. Jon and Cara went back to Utah for a little daddy/daughter bonding time and they had so much fun Jon bought a home there. Jon figures he and Cara will spend time there, not so much Kate as she doesn't like outdoor activities. As for Cara's twin, Mady..who cares? We don't like her, right, Jon? Don't even mention the six other kids. That wouldn't be relaxing, right, Jon?

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Jon Gosselin: "It's nice because I have eight kids, two dogs and live in Pennsylvania, and I can still hang with 15-year-olds." In Utah, he meant. In all fairness, Jon has explained that "hang" is lingo for good snow boarding. He doesn't mean he likes hanging out with 15 year olds. Well, he does (on the slopes), but, you know what I mean. He has the mentality of a 15 year old, so nothing surprises me.

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So, the six tiny terrors (and Mady) stay in the new 1.3 million dollar, 8000 sq. foot home in Pennsylvania. Jon and Cara spend part of their time in Utah. How long do you think it will take before Kate gets her beach home? Then the two business partners (Jon and Kate) alternate weeks with the kiddies and living the life of freedom with their personal favorite child? It's perfect, the kids aren't disrupted, they have two parents and a home..and neither parent has to live with the other one. I told you Jon hates Kate. She hates him too. But, the show and their fake life must go on. I'll give you one guess which kid gets to live with Kate. If it makes them happier, then it's a good thing. Aint it?

Let's talk about Amy

I watch just about every reality show there is because they're on all the time and I like 'em and I don't have to prove anything to anyone by pretending I watch the history channel all day. I like TV...okay? Last night there was an old BPLW on that I'd never seen. The Roloff kids were pretty little in it..I didn't know they'd been on that long. Anyhow..Amy and Matt went out to dinner and Matt's snowing her as usual....that dude is a such a fart sniffer..he could kiss up to Satan himself and have Satan going "Awwww, he's a nice guy, misunderstood." Then Satan would have Matt design a new bridge for the river Styx. Yeah. So Matt takes Amy's hand and says "Amy, never doubt my love for you." And Amy looks him in the eye and says "Yeah, Matt, you're a salesman." She meant it too. She was grinning, but, not an amused grin. A sad and knowing grin. A grin that said "I may have married you, but, I know what's up."
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The wisdom of Amy astounds me. Her ballsy attitude amazes me, she never lets anyone fuck with her. Yet, she's never mean. You can't be on TV this much and hide what you are, so Amy's never tried. She is what she is and who she is. This is why if she was on every day, got an even bigger McMansion for free and billions of dollars..I'd stilll root for her. Kate Gosselin fans should take note instead of yelling "JEALOUS" every time I call her a greedy ignorant bitch. Kate can't hide what she is either.

God bless your real breasts!

"I love the fact that you have real breasts, 'cause in all the breast scenes, your breasts do what real breasts do," Oprah said."There's that wonderful thing, you know, if you are a woman, you're lying on your back, your breasts they go to ..they part .. but if you look at a woman with not real breasts, their breasts are sticking straight up," she told Kate Winslet "That's how you know. God bless your real breasts!"
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Good thing Winslet has breasts because Oprah has no balls. If she has a ball one, she would have asked Kate about her big fat fake speech at The Golden Globes and why she told the world she loves Leo DiCaprio and why she hugged him first and hung all over his ass. Bask in the glory of your real breasts, Winslet. I guarantee no one cares who's titties are real anymore.

A Test Of Will

I don't know Will, but, he's a good photographer. His place is one of my favorite time wasters. A Test Of Will.

Beck's miracle

No, I have no clue what is going on here, I just liked the photo. In other unrelated shit..I also like Smokey Robinson and The Miracles, but, not "I believe in miracles, uhh, you sexy thang." Okay, maybe a little bit.

Casa de Poontang

Britney Spears has a new mansion in Calabasas..$9.1 million. She's not buying though, she's renting so she can design and build her new bigger mansion in the same area. You can see more HERE, it's fancy schmancy, but, there's too much water for the kiddies, if you ask me. Which she didn't. The underground vehicle storage makes me queesy thinking about kids near that thing. She had to get out of that crummy 7 million dollar mansion she was living in because it was cursed, jinxed and haunted. I hope Kate Gosselin clicks on this post. She'll be so mad.

The fighting is getting physical

They love hard! They fight hard! Or so say the wags. La Lopez and Marc's fights have turned physical, with screaming matches, pushing, shoving and throwing things. (I hope it's not babies.) Who do these two think they are? Sam/Blow? They're Latin! They're fiery! They can do that..I guess. Someone said she's been running to P. Diddy for help. Yeah, that's where I'd go for help. He can insult Marc Anthony on his blogs, in all caps. YO, TAKE DAT, YOU MO FO! I'm frightened already.

Lisa Marie Presley's twins

Harper and Finley are quite pretty, Lisa Marie still looks evil. Elvis had those eyes and those lips and managed not to look evil. I don't know how that works.

Big sister to Seraphina

The Afflecks named their new baby Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck, which I don't think is all that weird. There's a lot of normal options there, Sara, Rose,Liz..at least Serephina is a real name. Here's what I wonder about..that photo showed up on Jan. 13 and it was Ben picking up Violet at school (on Jan. 12) and taking her to visit mom in Cedars Sinai. But, Serephina was born Jan. 6th. Why aren't they home yet? Doesn't that seem like a long time to be in the hospital?

I give you proof..

That there is no God. ParAss Hilton, Jailhouse Baby.

More of Bridget's food issues

Everyone's still going on about the Golden Globes today..get over that shit already...so I decided to talk about Bridget's food issues again. Forget Barbie Benton's "weird" food and the pea soup disaster. There was a re-run GND on last night where the girls are in New York City looking for the anniversary playmate and they were starving so they go to a hot dog stand. Bridget threw a fit, "That's not yellow mustard! That's brown Dijon stuff. Ewwwww!" The girls walked on in search of yellow mustard so Bridget could eat. This one is not yellow enough, that one has specks, on and on. Four hot dog stands and 40 blocks later she finally finds her beloved yellow mustard. Holly was pissed and this time I don't blame her. I had 3 kinds of mustard in the fridge (I don't know why) so, I did a taste test and came to the conclusion that if I was blindfolded, and it was on a hot dog, I could not tell the difference. Bridget has some serious food issues. I fail to understand how anyone who could lick old man peen can be horrified at a hot dog with the wrong mustard. I'm still puzzled by it, 'specially since most of those vendors look like they pick their nose and had the hot dogs up their ass before they plop them on your bun. If you can find something else to talk about, be my guest.

What the wank is her problem??

Megan Fox is dumb, we know that. But, there's more than that. There is something really wrong with this girl.Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally wrong.

Sandra Bullock and Sunny

I've been following this story loosely for ages. Sandra and her husband, Jesse James have tried desperately to get custody of his daughter, Sunny for awhile now. There are allegations of suspected physical abuse (why is that kids arm in a cast?) ...now Sunny's bio mom, Janine Lindemulder has been sent to prison for tax evasion. She'll be gone for a year..oh, she's also a porn star. Anyway, this is the first time I've seen a pic of Sunny. Jesse also has a son, he's sometimes photographed with Sandra and Jesse, he seems to be with them most of the time. So, after years of fighting the system, Sandra and Jesse finally have Sunny and every one's happy. Until bio mom gets out. Then what? I don't trust the court system and I wouldn't want to be them.

The fountain of youth

While all the other actors his age looked their age (which is fine by me) at the GG's, Tommy girl managed to look like this. Even in extreme close ups. He had on his best nice guy face and did not say anything stupid. If I was a celeb, I'd be asking Tommy for his surgeons number because the work is amazing and subtle. He can afford the best.

It aint the GG without a worst dressed

Maggie Gyllenhaal inspired by blueberry pancake vomit. Click to see it bigger, if you have a strong stomach. No surprise here. Maggie is consistent.

Kissy wissy, not pissy

They didn't win anything, but, Angie and Brad kissed for the cameras. They didn't sit all that close, I didn't see any of the famous groping..the most watched couple (you know I was watching) were just...there. You can't read anything into anything they do or don't do unless you're completely stupid or like to make shit up. Angie didn't seem mad about anything. The couple I liked watching was Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. They looked like buddies and seemed to be having a great time. Tom kept eating all through it and I wanted to see the food, but, no one showed that. All people talk about are the Golden Globes dresses. Let me save you some trouble. All the women wore the same dress in different colors. That sheet wrapped around you look. There must have been a memo.

Old people on the beach

I don't know what the fuss is..Goldie Hawn is in her 60's and Kurt Russel isn't far behind. They're grand parents and they have their clothes on. I'll admit, him hanging on to that hair-do cracks me up a little, but, they look normal.

Bridget Marquardt moved out

Bridget (with one T?) has moved out of the Hef mansion. "I was actually thinking about it for awhile," said Bridget. "It's unrelated to Holly and Kendra moving out. Hef and I have a really special relationship. This all has nothing to do with my feelings for Hef. I care about him very much. It's just a good time for me to become my own person."

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She took her trapeze and stripper pole with her. Hef's got a new chick and one of the Weenersucker twins has been bumped to the side, which was always Kendra's place. There's a pecking order, if you are the one on the outside, you can get clipped from photos. So what happens to TGND? Are we supposed to like these new chicks now? I wish he'd explain that to us instead of his retarded love life.

Overacting

See? Here's Winslet. Oh, she can't breathe!! Agggg, huff, huff, sob! Gathah! Who's she hug first? Her husband? Uhhh, no. I think the audience was snorting wine through their noses at this.

Mickey Rourke Golden Globes

This was the surprise of the evening. Mickey won for The Wrestler, the surprise was that he came off as a genuine guy. He tripped going up the stairs, forgot to wear socks, was missing some teeth, admitted he was a has been...and just generally won everyone over. Myself included.

Kate Winslet at the Golden Globes

Best Supporting Actress award for The Reader AND Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama for Revolutionary Road. I couldn't care less, right? I mean someone has to win these things and award shows have nothing to so with us. It's a little private club for Hollywood hotshots. I like watching the people in the background, I'm like Gladys Kravitz peering for the real gossip. So I'm watching Winslet and Leo DiCaprio, who were sitting together and it was tweaking my biddy radar. Kate was all over Leo like a rash and he was polite, but, refusing to make eye contact with her and touch her. Kates cozying up to him and he kept leaning away and watching the stage or other people. It was really obvious. Then she finally wins something and does the OMG, OH, WHAT? ME? NO! And she's crying and pleased and shocked. She's an actress, okay? I wasn't buying it. She's got two Golden Globes and that's her shtick. She says how much she loves Leo and he's one of the most important men in her life..oh and her husband is too. Errr, what's his name?

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Something was going on between Leo and Kate. It was like watching some college guy who got drunk and boned his buddys girl friend and then had to play it off as close friendship..or he'd be stuck with her clingy self. I've seen that a lot..(former bartender, remember)..this was some kind of play going on in the background. I don't think Leo likes her much. Am I wrong? Did anyone else watch that?

What I know about the Gosselin kids from watching TV

I should say, what I've learned from watching Kate with her kids..

Hannah..is "mommy's helper." She folds laundry. In the Gosselin family your worth is judged by how much you can help Kate. Hannah is the favored child because Kate bonded with her first and all the other kids can fuck off if "Hannie's" around, according to their mother. Only she doesn't say fuck off, she says Hannie needs her the most and that's why Hannie gets what Hannie wants, at the expense of all the others, and Kate makes no bones about it. Hannie-Poo has developed quite the attitude (who wouldn't) and is now a smartie pants who defies her parents on a regular basis. If Jon snaps and tells Hannie to shut up, Kate responds immediately with "You shut up, Jon."

Alexis..Kate banished her to the basement to sleep alone forever because she is a "disturber." Kate makes sure all the pedophiles in TV land know that Alexis is alone in the basement (she's a bat). I can't tell Alexis from Leah, they're both cute and laugh a lot...despite the parental lot they drew. But, Alexis is a seperate entity from her sister according to Kate, and must not be allowed to screw up Hannie and Leah. They call her the "controller."

Leah..again, looks like Alexis, is cute as a button and is allowed to room with Hannie. Which in the Gosselin household, is like being the family dog. We'll feed you, you can sleep in the house, but, know the pecking order.

Joel...the least favored child. A fountain of whine (their words, not mine). Does not understand that boys cannot wear pink, play with dolls or bake cakes. Joel is dirty and yuky and has a lisp. Kate and Jon mock his speach saying "DUUUUH, Joel." (This is accompanied by waving your hands in the air and lolling your head.) Often missing from family photos. Kate calls him clueless.

Aaden..The little proffessor. This "proffessor" label is due to the fact that the kid wears glasses. There seems to be no other reason for this stupid label. Kate said she wanted her kids to be perfect, but, Aaden isn't, due to his eyesight. She seems sad about this. Aaden is yuky and dirty. And gross. He has bowel problems discussed in detail.

Collin..has a very large head (freakishly big, according to Kate)..he is always ignored and alone...unless he's being "Mommy's helper boy" when he puts the big toys back in the garage. People who help Kate have worth, remember? The best thing they can say about Collin is "he's organized." Which seems to mean he's always trying to shove things where they don't fit, in order to "organize" them. A bit of a bully and has a vacant stare. One of his eyelids droop, Kate can't remember which one, but, he's not perfect and that's sad to Kate. He has bowel problems too, the opposite kind as Joel. He's most famous for getting a turd removed from his butt (by Jon) with a plastic bag on camera.

Mady..the "mean and ugly" child. Twin to Cara. Mady has more emotional problems than I am qualified to diagnose. She is a fit thrower and does not like the little ones. She's mean and rough with them. She refuses to lie for Kate and calls her out on national TV. Most famous Mady line "What? I don't want to be your maid of honor." (Nasty face.) After Kate said she was thrilled. Kate says "day after day with this child!" She's exhausted, remember? Clearly the brightest, Mady is much smarter than both her parents put together, but, it doesn't make anyone like her. Excluded from most family activities lately and not in the show much now. She puts her hand over the camera.

Cara..the "good twin." When asked a question Cara usually responds with "Ummm..." and trails off looking stunned. She's developed some kind of tick which causes her eyes to blink rapidly. She's nice to Collin, her C buddy, the only one in the family who's nice to Collin. She's nice to her brothers and sisters most of the time. Cara is not featured a lot because she causes few problems for Kate.

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Hey, they put their kids on TV, I didn't. This is what I see. All of them are filmed dressing, bathing, pottying. If Kate doesn't like her kids, how does she expect the rest of the world to love them? And pay her for displaying them and their tantrums and their little naked behinds? Let's hear what you think.