Who is that?

Brad Pitt in twenty years..still feeding his wifes addiction?

Before there was Angelina and Brad and Jennifer..there was..

Debbie Reynolds, Eddie Fisher and Elizabeth Taylor. This was before my time, believe it or not, but, I still remember mom and the aunties taking sides in heated debates. Debbie Reynolds was Americas sweetheart and in 1955 she married crooner Eddie in tinsel towns fairy tale of family perfection. Everyone ate it up, tons of magazines were sold and the love only increased when the couple produced two perfect children, Todd and Carrie. Yeah, THAT Carrie Fisher, Princess Leia, for you younguns.

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Then the trouble started. Eddie was cast in the film Butterfield 8 with "the most beautiful woman in the world", Liz Taylor. Taylor was a hot young widow having lost her 3rd husband Mike Todd in a plane crash in 1958. The plane was ironically dubbed The Lucky Liz. Not so much, hu?

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Do I need to tell you what happened next? Think Jolie and Pitt in Mr. And Mrs. Smith. Yeah. So Eddie left perfect adorable Debbie and his kids for sexy hot foul mouthed Liz and her kids. They married in 1959. The world of gossip exploded, the entire planet chose sides and Liz pretty much lost. She was seen as a home wrecker and a slut, but, I doubt she gave a shit. She's Liz Taylor. Sooooo, did Liz break Eddies heart? Well, she was cast in Cleopatra which came out in 1963 and also starred Richard Burton. Burton became her fifth AND sixth husband. Eddie was history. Liz was gorgeous and her movies rocked so the public forgave her, but, no one forgot. Stealing darling Debbie's hubby is still the biggest celeb scandal in history.

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Debbie and Liz, who were friends before it all went down, eventually made up. But, they still can't stand Eddie, which is hilarious. The two gals even made a movie called These Old Broads where they mocked the ex husband they shared, his name was "Freddie". Doesn't it make you wonder if Jolie and Aniston will someday be cast in the same film? Man, that would be a huge box office hit. Anyhow, what I remember most as a kid looking at all these Taylor, Fisher, Reynolds magazine covers was..why would either one of those ladies want him?? But, I joined Liz's side because I thought she was glamorous and I heard she could cuss like a drunken sailor.

Rachael Ray 30 Minute Meals (parody)

You Tuber does Rachael Ray and she's got the annoying giggle down pat. It's funny, but, needs some tweaking. It's almost there, but not quite. I know someone who could do this REALLY well. Miss Tia, take a shot at impersonating Ray and let me post it. I know you can do it!

Cameron Diaz in October's InStyle

Cameron talking about her body.. “I know I have what a 25 year old has, but she doesn’t have what I have. My boobs and butt aren’t doing too bad either, know what I mean?”
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Every once in awhile she takes a halfway decent photo and I love the dress, but, if you can figure out wtf she said you're more awake than I am. I think I need a blond dictionary.

Shakira - Underneath Your Clothes live

Making anons cry. It IS pretty good.

Dunst burgler jailed

A drug addict who was arrested on charges of burglarizing Kirsten Dunst's New York City hotel penthouse suite has been sentenced to 4½ years in prison.
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Of, course he's on drugs. Drugs make you believe you need to steal ugly. Woooooo hooo! Free ugly. Boogler jams a bag with ugly, sneaks out with tons of ugly. Kirsten's ugly was recovered. Now she will drink the ugly away. Oh, someone thought she was an ugly Christmas tree and strung popcorn on her head. Nice.

Gomer Pile wants some Spears cash

Ahhh, so Gomer (Casey Aldrige) is not upset that Jamie Lynn called off the teenage wedding from hell, but, he DOES want some money. Gomer's been trying to pull a K-Fed and threatening Jamie Lynn with a custody battle if she doesn't fork over the bucks. “He’s not a spiteful person,” a friend of his tells Star. But he feels he’s entitled to a chunk of Jamie Lynn’s millions. “He plays to win. He doesn’t really want full custody of Maddie, but he knows it might be his best weapon against Jamie Lynn.”

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Cripes. Is this douche kidding? What? Does he think his sperm's worth money? The Spear's are lucky the kid isn't retarded with him for a dad. Jamie Lynn tossed his ass aside for cheating. Now, I find it hard to believe anyone would sleep with this redneck dirtbag, must be slim pickin's in Buttfuck Mo. Tractor boy looks like he cruises family reunions for dates. And now he wants millions? Pfffft. It's time to have Daddy Jamie get out the shotgun and go redneck horndog huntin'. That's what they do in Missouri.

Linda Thompson at the beach

Everybody keeps yapping about how hot Brody Jenner's mom is. Uhhh, not. There's something about this woman that makes me feel the need for a bath. Maybe it's the fact that she did it with Elvis. Maybe I blame her for bringing Brody Jenner into the word. Maybe she's just greasy looking. Anyhow..I think she rolls her boogers into little balls and now she's wondering where she can wipe them.

Who the fuck is Russell Brand??

VMA commercial, Britney, elephant in the room..ring a bell now? I had to go look him up. Cripes! I was seriously laughing out loud during the "Stop wanking" bit. Guy's funny.

You wanna live where Heath Ledger died?

If you do then you'll have to pony up $26,000 per month, which is 4 grand more than Heath paid. The increase doen't seem to be aimed at people wanting exposed brick and tin ceilings, it's pretty specific that it's aimed at thrill seekers wanting to meet a famous persons ghost. The spooky old place is pretty, but, I think they should save their money. Heath Ledger, no doubt in my mind, has better places to go.

Spendin' the money

Source, Vanity Fair via Gabby Babble

Laura BushOscar de la Renta suit: $2,500Stuart Weitzman heels: $325Pearl stud earrings: $600–$1,500 ...Total: Between $3,425 and $4,325

Cindy McCainOscar de la Renta dress: $3,000Chanel J12 White Ceramic Watch: $4,500Three-carat diamond earrings: $280,000Four-strand pearl necklace: $11,000–$25,000Shoes, designer unknown: $600...Total: Between $299,100 and $313,100
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Yeah, I know..I don't do political posts, but, this one deserved a comment. If you can read those numbers and seriously believe that these people and their husbands relate, in any way, shape or form, to YOU and your life, you are one sad sonofabitch. And Michelle Obama aint shoppin' in consignment stores either, folks. Most people take 40 years to pay off the family home that costs what Cindy McCain spent for one outfit plus bling. Think on that and tell me these fuckers give two shits about you.

David Beckham on Seasame Street

I like to watch it and pretend Elmo is Posh begging for some Beck dick. Then it's funny.

Waaaaaaa! Boo hoo!

The wonder twins have colic, Angie is suffering some post partum, she cries a lot and laughs at inappropriate times. She's tired and sleeps too much. She's upset with Brad because he got kids with no pain and can take off anytime he wants. The twins colic is driving her mad and she moved a doctor and his medical team into the mansion to help her deal with it.

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How true is this stuff? Hmmmm, probably fairly true. It came from the Enquirer, but, it sounds about right. It sounds normal to me, I don't know anyone who could have colicky twin babies and four other kids and not be a wreck for a few weeks or months. And if I had the money, I'd hire a doctor and staff to help too. Cheer up, Angie, they'll out grow it soon. As for being upset with Brad because he didn't have the pain...welcome to the world of all mothers at one time or another. And remember, you can always deny all this in the next interview where you tell us how wonderful your family is. And they probably are, there is no one we love and hate like our own family.

People covers Simpson's love life

People hopes to follow these covers with "Oh, no, he dumped me!" And, "Looking for love again," and "Who be my baby daddy?" and "This is my one true love for real," and "Oh no, I got dumped again!" and "Love on the rebound" and "This is real love, I swear it!" and "Oh, no, not again!" and "Carrie Underwood sucks!"

The Blow says no to Playboy

Playboy wants to do a tribute to '60s sex kitten Ann-Margret and her film "Kitten With a Whip," and they want Lindsay Lohan to pose for it. They offered her $700,000 for the topless spread, but, The Blow turned them down. Her reps said if there's nudity, then the answer's no.

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Put aside the facts that Lindsay DOES look like Ann-Margret and she already posed nude in a Marilyn tribute...we've already seen her naked. That's a lot of money for a days work, that's a lot of Marlboros. That's not usin' yer noggin, Linds. I'm sure when you step out on the red carpet to get your Oscar, everyone would forgive the Playboy spread.

Gosselin post...Sign of the times?

The Gosselins (Jon and Kate plus 8) used to have signs in their yard that said "DO NOT TALK TO US, DO NOT TAKE PICTURES)...do not even breathe your fetid common wind our way unless you are carrying a love offering in your pocket....okay, I made up the last one, but, you get my drift. In a recent episode, almost 8 year old Mady made a sign for a door in their home. She makes it clear what she thinks of the family circus that is The Gosselins. Buck up, kid, your parents are mentally handicapped and someone has to bring home the organic bacon.

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I started a minor shit storm with an old post that got linked somewhere else and people actually think Jon and Kate are anon commenting HERE. I wouldn't know. If you are, Jon and Kate...go get some more free stuff and build your new mansion, be sure and let Kate freak out every two seconds because of a spill and take some more photos of poop. Lay off the butt crack shots of the kids though. Or just make a special edition of the show for the pedos. Naaa, forget that, just take the boring kids off and show more Kate. That's the only reason I watch the horrendously horrendous rumpeldy humpeldy muggly wuggly thing in the first place, as such. My word! Lordy beeee! Excuse me, I have low blood sugar. Ask how you can help me. Hellooooooooooooo! WHY DO YOU NOT ASK HOW YOU CAN HELP ME?! Oh, sorry, channeling some Kate there.

500 billion sperm head to Hollywood!

Hollywood bound spermazoids head to their celebrity destinations in a mass journey of epic proportions, some screaming for a womb with a view while others contemplate the disappointment of a surrogate uterus. Said one sperm who was interviewed by CNN : "While all of us hope for a shot at the uterine walls of Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Garner at least, we are at peace with the fact that we might encounter the egg of Heidi Montag or Tori Spelling knowing that we will bring more celebrities into your world. What????? Garner is already pregnant? WTF? Cocksuck! If I get Montag I'm going to squirt myself!"

Dita Von Thong

She remembered to scuff her soles and put tape on so she didn't fall on her butt, but, well, hmm. I'm betting the Taxi ride was free.

Britney on the VMA's

Britney, in a statement, "MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs? I'm excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated."
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This chick has already done every imaginable bizarre and dangerous thing there is to do. What is everbody waiting for? Will she give birth to an alien through her anus on stage? There is only one thing left to do, she will comb her extensions, put on a pair of panties and read the Q cards. You can breathe now, world.

Filler

Jessica calls Tony Romo her FBD. Future baby's daddy..but, not to his face because she's playing it cool. She should call him DWDHRA, douche who dumped her retarded ass. Because that's what he'll be be soon enough.

Oh, I get it

So, basically, Tom Cruise would like to fuck his self. Him self? Whatever, you know I'm right.

We're so jealous

Keira Knightley had some interview the other day and I didn't blog it because it was just more of her nonsense about how women are jealous of beautiful sexy women and how she's doing her job if we hate her...because we're all jealous. And now these new pics of her come out and I'm thinking, jeeeez, if you lose 10 more pounds you'll just disappear and we won't have to be jealous of you and your sexiness anymore. Fucking lollipop head, aren't we so jealous? Pffffft.

When photoshoppers screw up

Forget the fact that J-Lo has her head in Donatella Versace’s lap, they're bestest friends, don't you know? Look at Donetella and tell me what's wrong there. G'head, take a long look..I'll wait.

Pregnant?????????

Demi Moore leaving a building that offices obstetricians and pediatricians yesterday. OMG...she's pregnant! She's pregnant and using her kid as a shield to hide her baby bump! OMG, her kid is pregnant! Somebody has to be pregnant! It's been 5 minutes since anyone in Hollywood got pregnant! Jamie Lynn Spears has already sent burp rags form La Petite Trasheur. Pink. It's a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Betrayed by my own blood kin!

Lissa just looked at this picture and said "Dawmaw! It's aunt Casey!" Nooooooooooooooo! I did not give birth to PantyLiner. That kids going to bed with no supper and I'm giving all her toys to good will. I think crabbie put her up to this.

Darling Princess's Beatrice and Eugenie

Royal teenage cleavage (odd spawn?).....Makin' the Queen proud.

Daniel Radcliffe does Details

Daniel: "Whenever I can, I want to leave Harry (Potter) there on the screen. I don't want to bring him into my normal life."
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Really? I thought you bustled around town on your Nimbus 2000 waving your magic stick and being followed by a white owl with fan letters in his beak. Sigh..at least he kept his clothes on for Details, though I don't think a little eyebrow waxing would be a bad thing. Hey, he's the one who told them he dreams of wearing a wedding dress and playing a drag queen so he could wear tons of eye makeup. Make your dreams come true, Danny boy, but, lose the bushy brows first. Drag queens have good brows.

This is just how she wakes up

J-Lo in Elle.......“My babies! I love them, I love them, I love them.” Uhhhh, yeah..put some frosting on your nose. OMFG that's so cute. Love your pajamas. Who's that other wench? Oh, your personal slave..did she scatter the candy hearts just right? Did she take a bite out of the donut? Make a note..Fire her ass. Does the Laura Ashley wallpaper match the lamps, the cushions and Marc Anthony's underpants? Check. Diamond tiara straight? Check. 30 nannies keeping the annoying children in another wing of the mansion? Check. Just another typical Lopez morning.

Holly Madison is tired of Kendra getting all the attention

A class act at a movie screening. Is it just me or does that , errrr, area look rather large?

Chris Robinson.. not very bright

Kate Hudson tells October’s Cosmopolitan about her ex-husband, musician Chris Robinson...

"Look — we’re still basically living together! We’ve figured it out. I mean, obviously, nothing’s perfect, but I could never look at (our divorce) as a mistake. If anything, it’s the best thing that ever happened to us."

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I give it a month, then Chris Robinson loses his house, again, and his kid confuses him with one of the "uncles." I hope the poor bastard didn't unpack.

Todays quizz

Put on your thinking caps! Which one is the plastic surgery addicted no talent skank and which one is the big dumb animal?

Skank bump

Eva LongWhoria might be knocked up with Tony Parker's giant headed kid. She's got two chins and a bump and this is not on set. The sexiest fetus in the world, right? Maxim is working up a fetus bikini shoot offer as I type.

Some old dude and a pissed off kid

Grampa takes some kid for ice cream?

MJ "dating" Pam

Michael Jackson and Pam Anderson have been secretly seeing each other in several different places in Malibu and have bonded over their love of plastic surgery and kiddie stories. Sadly..I did not make this up out of boredom. It's true.

Rivers says Jolie is stupid

Joan Rivers in an interview with GMTV, "Well, I've worked with stupid actresses -- I've worked with Angelina Jolie -- she saw a sign that said 'WET FLOOR' one time, and she did!" Rivers adds, "I mean, she's attractive, but not a bright girl -- stunningly beautiful, but stupid."
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She doesn't have long to live now..the Bradgeloonies have hired a hit man. But, but, Angelina is a wonderful mom and a humanitarian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All over the net Jolie fan sites are exceeding their bandwidth. Tacky old lady jewelry is selling out on QVC though.

Airline made Pete cry

source
"Pete Doherty was so upset when his hat got creased at an airport that he started crying.The Babyshambles frontman, 29, was due to fly to Salzburg, Austria, to play a gig last weekend. ‘I informed British Airways of my late arrival,’ he explains. 'I told them I was a kind of minor celebrity and I might get a bit of hassle at the airport.
'Turns out they are complete arseholes. Even when I fell over and badly creased my hat, I had no assistance.'
And Pete admits he was so frustrated he started to blub.
‘I was crying but I didn't want them to see,' he tells the Sunday Mirror."
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Jebuz cripes! Who wants to live in a world where no one helps Pete after he fell on his hat????? You know what he keeps in the hat! It's full of kittens and coke and probably Amy Winehouse and rats and more kittens! Pete added, ''A cynic might say I missed the plane, an honest man might say I went to the airport a little late." My heart goes out to you, dude, it would all make a great song.

Bitchy old queen VS drunken pop princess

Lily Allen and Elton John presenting the GQ Men of the Year Awards ...everything was going fine until Lily started drinking onstage and Elton realized she had a better dress than he did. When she came to announce ''...and now the most important part of the night'', Elton chipped in ''What? Are you going to have another drink?" She fired back: ''Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!" The shocked audience fell silent. A clearly rattled Elton replied ''I could still snort you under the table''. To which she replied: ''Fuck off. I don't know what you are talking about."
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Elton has a history of fueds with famous women, Madonna and Princess Di come to mind, so she's in good company, I guess. But, Lily clearly needs to find some better insults, there's nothing shocking about "fuck off" if you use it in every sentance. Good to know Elton could snort her under the table. He probably meant that literally, I'm surprised she didn't end up under a table. Silly bitches. They sound so lame and childish.

Labor Pains trailer

Starring Lindsay Lohan, like you didn't know. The whole basis of the story is dumb, why couldn't you fire a pregnant woman if she didn't do her job? On the other hand, I always find Blow movies an amusing waste of time.

Dear Solange,

Have you met Diddy yet? I think you should.

Two idiot blonds still fighting over a retarded football player

An OK source admits that Carrie is adding fuel to the fire, "Carrie thinks Jess is a big bottle of bleach and a pair of high-heeled cowboy boots trying to ride off of the fame of Newlyweds."

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As opposed to a big bottle of bleach and a pair of high heeled cowboy boots riding off the fame of American Idol. I wonder what Kellie Pickler thinks? But, I know better than to type Pickler and thinks in the same sentence. She's probably glad she has these two gummy heads to make her look like a rocket scientist.

What did you crave?

My favorite tranny, Rebecca Romijn, who's preg with twins is craving things and it's hubby Jerry O'Connell's job to make sure the fridge had lemonade and soy cream cheese. When I was pregnant I always craved ice. Yeah, I know, it could have been worse, but, I went from snitching a piece to heaping blowls of crushed ice eaten with a spoon all day long. I had a cousin who craved dirt and she'd chow on unwashed raw potatoes in the middle of the night. I'm curious..what cravings did you or your significant other have while pregnant?

Stupid news

'[Her father's] "explanation" for Amy's hospital dash in July was just simply untrue,' [a] Winehouse pal said. 'She had smoked an inhuman amount of hash which resulted in acute cannabis poisoning. You have to take a s***load of pot to to suffer that severe reaction. It is thought she had been smoking it for 36 hours.'
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They also said she was having fits, looked like something from the Exorcist and tried to hurt herself. You can go look up all the shit you want to but no matter what you paste in the comments section, I will warn you now...I don't believe there's any such thing as "cannabis poisioning." That's fucking retarded. Yeah, then her head spun all the way around, she climbed to a rooftop, turned herself into a bat and flew her skinny ass to Mexico where she now lives on the blood of virgins and hides by day in a field of wild Acapulco Gold. Look for a new perfume line soon..WineRun's Skunkolicious. Wipe your nose, bitch.

The secret is out

Finally we know..the reason Duchovny went into sex addiction rehab is because he's addicted to porn. Didn't Fox Mulder have that problem too? So, David isn't a cheater, he's a chronic clicker. That place must be crowded. Tea probably sent him to rehab because all the comps were full of x-rated spy ware. "You fuck up the computers one more time and you're going to rehab!" Yes dear. Click. Click, click, click.

Sienna does what Katie can't

Mom jeans, peg jeans, rolled jeans, boy friend jeans...it's all yuk. Seinna Miller is the only one so far that's pulled it off. Love the bag, the sandals, the plain white shirt.

Max went out to dinner with his parents

Christina Aguilera's little one is growing. His hair is so cute, awwwww.